[laughter] >> jon: it is bigger and appears to be somewhat useless. >> i'm not even done, jon. watch this. i found click, boom. okay, real time insta instagram. it doesn't even stop. i just tweak it again while simultaneously posting that image. so if you go to one of those places you can see this image, the one dwreur you'r you're seew here later somewhere else. don't tell me it's alive and kicking my friend. i will be here all night. [crowd cheering] >> jon: we've got an awful lot. we'll check back in with john oliver. the combination of a decades long battle between governor mitt romney of massachusetts and current president barack obama saying from m nairobi. jessica, we'll start with you default scribe the mood that obama had described in chicago. >> it's intense, jon, everyone is glued to their computers and smart phones. >> jon: checking the polling. >> no, they're second out fund raising e-mails. jon, they're down to the wire and this campaign is saying cannot make it through in the next two hours unless everybody in this country chips in $8. >> jon: it's 11:00 p.m. on

. >> i don't-- don't make me go, jon. >> jon: what? >> it's a nightmare over there. nothing but money managers and trust funds and trumps, no one knows how to cook or clean or make, what is that thing that keeps you warm. >> jon: heat. >> heat, yes. where does that come from. too many chiefs, not enough indians, you know what i mean, or mexicans. i miss the mexicans. i miss them so much. mi so sorry. why did they have to leave. do you have a clean 1200 bill. >> jon: no, i don't, john hodgman, everybody, we'll be r xçññ@ jdz welcome back, my guest tonight is a staff writing at the new worker. his new book is called dogfight. 2012 presidentate campaign in verse please welcome back to the program calvin trillin, sir. mr. trillin always a delight to see you, my friend. >> thank you, you're looking well. >> thank you. >> i have to say something about this book. >> go ahead, say as much as you can possibly say. >> i have many authors on the program, many esteemed pulitzer prize winner, people of great renown. >> right. >> jon: the

. >> jon: what? wait! what? >> governor romney learned during his days listening to bruce springsteen in a -- >> jon: what? >> in a haze of pot smoke dreaming of becoming a stand up comedian. >> jon: oh, my god! that's just like my life. i didn't know romney was so relatable! >> jon, you see what he's doing! this isn't a question of romney's biography, this is about hard experience. you've heard the president, he's been everywhere. from pah-kee-stahn, to bra-see-o, to (southern accent) south carolina and of course (southern accent) australia. >> jon: (laughs) that's how australians say australia? >> they do if they're from south carolina, jon, yes. >> jon: pronouncing these different regions like you're a sophomore just back from a semester abroad is pretentious. it's a little dickish. >> jon, this is no time for name calling and, in fact, governor romney understands john oliver's frustration. (laughter) it's a feeling that's been nagging at him since he was a scrappy little street rat selling papers for tuppenc

. >> jon: and it has more chess championships than any interpediat school ever. >> ever. >> jon: ever, ever, ever and decide to make a film there, and while you are filming the budget gets cut. >> yeah so, we started shooting and the school was in really good shape. they had all their money to go to tall their tournaments and then i got a call from the principal telling me our budget got slashed by a million dollars and i don't know if we will get to go to all the tournaments qz public school. >> in brooklyn. >> jon: one of the best things at this public school. >> uh-huh. >> yeah. >> jon: let me just quickly before we go any further. all right. we'll keep talking while you make a move. >> all right. >> jon: so how did you get involved. did you know much about chess when you went to that school, did you go to that school for the chess program. >> i went there a lot, when i was young i began playing chess when i was nine years old and in the fourth grade. and so i had an idea about the game and i knew a lot about the game when i came into 318. when i was young competed against 318 was

. >> jon: welcome back! the 2012 elections -- 2012 elections are over, but what happens to the true heroes of our political process he? now that the spotlight has moved on, jason jones has more. >> the u.s. elections are over. >> barack obama will be reelected -- >> but what happens next for the professionals who were the true backbone of our democracy? american political consultants. not all of them work as cable news pundits. some follow a different path. >> people like me who work principally on campaigns look elsewhere, outside the country, you know, campaigns in other countries all around the world. >> tonight we hear the story of these american strategists who cross the globe helping less fortunate democracies. they are consultants without borders. ♪ a hero could save us -- >> listen, every place is not like, you know, our country in terms of the stage of development of democracy. u.s. political consultants just have a lot more experience. >> and that experience can make all the difference for nation

is a biblical model jon: the biblical model is polygamy. >> no, jon. adam and eve. polygamy came much later than that and later was repudiated >> jon: the people in the bible redefined >> jesus said a shall leave his mother and father and the woman will leave her home and the two shall become one >> jon: isn't it the height of man's arrogance to presume what jesus would vote for down the line as a value? this is my point. we can come on and have a conversation. when i see that and i go mike huckabee doesn't just disagree witme. he believes my position that gay people are members of the species and whoever they love marriage strengthens traditional families because gay families are wonderful families raising wonderful kids. that's a value... and the value of them is not their gayness. marriage is about honest, trust worthy people working in a loving household, having nothing to do with what their sexuality is. how can you say that me believing that is registered in the book of fire? >> it's not the book of fire. jon: the anvil of fire with the fire guy

[laughter] >> jon: it is bigger and appears to be somewhat useless. >> i'm not even done, jon. watch this. i found click, boom. okay, real time insta instagram. it doesn't even stop. i just tweak it again while simultaneously posting that image. so if you go to one of those places you can see this image, the one dwreur you'r you're seew here later somewhere else. don't tell me it's alive and kicking my friend. i will be here all night. [crowd cheering] >> jon: we've got an awful lot. we'll check back in with john oliver. the combination of a decades long battle between governor mitt romney of massachusetts and current president barack obama saying from m nairobi. jessica, we'll start with you default scribe the mood that obama had described in chicago. >> it's intense, jon, everyone is glued to their computers and smart phones. >> jon: checking the polling. >> no, they're second out fund raising e-mails. jon, they're down to the wire and this campaign is saying cannot make it through in the next two hours unless everybody in this country chips in $8. >> jon: it's 11:00 p.m. on

>> jon: i'm so sorry. we'e' b b -Ïx=uhr(ú'2lt:eá (cheers and applause). >> jon: welcome back! my guest tonight, he is the c.e.o. of berkshire hathaway, she is the senior editor at large of "fortune" magazine as well as author of the new book "tap dancing to work: warren buffett on practically everything, 1966 to 2012." please welcome to the program warren buffett and carol loomis. (cheers and applause) nice to see you, sir. nice to see you. (applause) how are you? >> never better. never better. >> jon: great to see you guys. the book is called "tap dancing to work." tell me about this collaboration first of all. you are a very renown and well-respected financial writer. you run -- >> let's not get into it. (laughter) >> jon: how did this come to be? >> how did the book come to be? >>> jon: yes. >> well i got the idea when we had been covering warren for 40 years. i thought we ought to pull all this together. because we'd had a great collection of stories, many of them written by other writers, not me at all, and i thought we should do it and then it only took me six years to g

. >> jon: welcome back. my guest tonight, the legendary musician whose memoir is called "waging heavy peace." please welcome back to the program mr. neil young. (cheers and applause) (cheers and applause) >> jon: thank you for being here. >> thank you. thank you for asking me, having me. >> jon: we're delighted to have you. "waging heavy peace" is the book. i have read -- there have been a spate of these that have come out, these sort of the rock legend autobiographies. so many of them have a formality to them, i felt reading this like i was hanging out with you as you puttered around your garage or somehow walking around -- (laughter). >> yeah. >> jon: -- inside your brain. it's so -- you wrote this yourself. >> yeah, oh, yeah. you know, ghost writers scare the hell out of me. (laughter). >> jon: nobody likes ghosts. >> nobody likes ghosts. (laughter) no, i'm guilty as charged. i wrote it. >> jon: but it's really -- it has such a hospitable charm to it that -- and your image is not necessarily as warm -- >>

my name is jon stewart. good show today. fabulous author jon meacham. he's written a biography of jefferson. cher monohelmsley. (laughter). (laughter) hooray me! last night we had on the program jason sudeikis from s.n.l . a tremendous, very, very funny man, plays mitt romney and joe biden on the show and he was making a joke on the show about how wouldn't it be funny if in this election it turned out that romney and biden had both won and ended up as president and vice president, wouldn't that have been funny and i said, oh, i don't think that could happen, jason. as a man who knows a lot about like -- and he's like "well, i thought that was the scenario. well, it turns out that could happen! he was referring to a scenario which i found out later where if the electoral college was tied the president would have gotten kicked to the house of representatives where they might have picked mitt romney, the senate would have picked the vice president, they would have picked joe biden and that's how it would have happened. once again there's -- one of the thin

. >> i don't-- don't make me go, jon. >> jon: what? >> it's a nightmare over there. nothing but money managers and trust funds and trumps, no one knows how to cook or clean or make, what is that thing that keeps you warm. >> jon: heat. >> heat, yes. where does that come from. too many chiefs, not enough indians, you know what i mean, or mexicans. i miss the mexicans. i miss them so much. mi so sorry. why did they have to leave. do you have a clean 1200 bill. >> jon: no, i don't, john hodgman, everybody, we'll be "i@zoekxkxú8,xct:9 jdz welcome back, my guest tonight is a staff writing at the new worker. his new book is called dogfight. 2012 presidentate campaign in verse please welcome back to the program calvin trillin, sir. mr. trillin always a delight to see you, my friend. >> thank you, you're looking well. >> thank you. >> i have to say something about this book. >> go ahead, say as much as you can possibly say. >> i have many authors on the program, many esteemed pulitzer prize winner, people of great renown. >> right. >> jon: th

. >> jon: hey, everybody, welcome to "the daily show." my name is jon stewart. good a good one tonight. from "saturday night live", the very funny jason sudeikis is going to be joining us later. it was just one week ago tonight that barack obama won reelection to the presidency ending a heated political campaign and hopefully setting the stage for the healing that this country so desperately needs. >> the white house has received online petitions from not so proud americans in 20 states who would like to secede from the union. (laughter) wait! i'm not sure exactly which 20 states those are or which people in those 20 state bus i think i can best express how i feel about these states and people in the word of the great william wonka. >> (flatly) stop, don't, come back. (cheers and applause) >> jon: at least now i'm beginning to understand why southern states were so hesitant to get rid of the confederate flag. it's like keeping your fat pants after you lose some weight. (laughter) you're happy for now with the new you but pretty soon you're going to need those fa

>> jon: maybe. >> no-- . >> jon: i understand. >> sorry, it's tough to breathe in that bunker. >> jon: the oxygen in that budget certificate terrible. >> totally. >> jon: wyatt, are you in a bunker, the oxygen gets bad. >> would you think somebody would febreze this place. >> jon: i know. why can't they-- why can't they-- oh, you know what, i saw they had water down there. (laughter) >> holy crap there's water in here. >> jon: i bet there is water in the budgeter. >> there's water in here oh, come down with that water. (laughter) i threw it on a shelf, i think there was a shelf there. >> jon: it just fell off the-- (laughter) so-- so getting back to this --. >> i mean they can't go to mitch pitch if that is what you were suggested. >> jon: oh, right, michigan, amish country is nearby. >> oh, yeah, like those guys don't take super pac money. >> jon: wyatt cenac, everybody. c a >> jon: welcome back. thank you. in the midst of an ugly election season one might forget there remains a place where democracy remains clean and cool. middle school. john olver and jason jones decided it

. >> jon: married women! (laughter) now why do you think specifically married women would favor mitt romney? please feel free to paint this demographic in the most positive light you can. >> married women think about the future of their children. >> they have more responsibility and you're running a household. >> so married you tend to be more settled, you're thinking about the kids, thinking about how the country's going to be when they grow up. >> they're not just some selfish (bleep). (laughter) (cheers and applause) oh. i'm sorry. they didn't say that. they paraphrased it. >> among single women, a whopping 67% voted for the president. >> i can't explain, for example, single women other than the abortion issue. >> their issue is about borg. >> turns out they are one-issue voters. >> we had women who could actually afford birth control, suburban college educated women turn out and say "i want free birth control." >> jon: i mean, it was unbelievable. these weren't gross slutty poor people women! we're talkin

(laughter). >> jon: actually, al, there is an "i" in "urine." >> well, there's also a "u." >> jon: thank you, everybody, we'll check if with you guys later. anyway, it's been a harrowing couple of days for all of us. once again a huge debt of gratitude not only to first responders who have risked their lives to save others or-- as they call it-- going to work. (laughter) but also the m.t.a., power companies, phone companies, public officials, we thank you all tonight in our brand new segment "a daily show tribute to institutional competence." (cheers and applause) it's amazing! amazing! once you remove political and partisan gamesmanship from a situation performance improves dramatically. down the line government's been on top of its stuff, we'll start with n.y.c. mayor michael bloomberg. but, listen, i think we all agree if these cups were still legal -- (laughter). -- maybe the city would haven't flooded at all. (laughter) but that's not the point, that's not the point. the point is -- (cheers and applause) the point is mayor bloomberg kicked ass at his job and did in the two languages

. >> thank you, jon, thank you. (cheers and applause) >> i think everyone watching tuesday night can agree on one thing, the president [bleep] up, jon. i mean he [bleep] up. (laughter) >> jon: that's your-- what are you telling, he was re-elected. >> exactly. you think he was expecting that? of course not. 16 trillion dollars in debt. 7.9% unemployment, i'm sure he wanted no part of that [bleep] pie. in fact, i'm even more sure that obama was looking forward to watching president romney having to choke it down for him. >> jon: you're telling me obama was planning to lose to romney. >> i don't know about planning to lose but he was sure as hell trying to, two words, jon, first debate. two more, in denver. they provide some contest to the first two words. >> jon: you are saying obama took a dive. >> of course he took a dive, of course he did. >> jon: in denver he took a dive you're saying he took a dive. >> exactly we said it four times together. the point is obama is a smart man, jon. and a notoriously brilliant spea

not too far >> jon: did you bring us any gasoline? >> a whole truck load jon: any m.r.e.s? everything okay down there >> we worried about it but got through it okay. >> jon: where it's going to take a while here. i wanted to congratulate you. you moderated the vice presidential debate between joe biden -- and he didn't curse the whole time. and paul ryan. he was very thirsty. >> do you know why you missed that, martha? because you were moderating the debate. i thought you were very impressive in your exercise of authority. you didn't let it... you didn't pretend that the role of the journalist is to be a lump of malleable clay to absolve yourself of any charges of liberal bias or, you know, being on that team. is that a problem within the journalists' world now? >> actually that's how i approached the debate. i just was doing my job. i'm a journalist. i'm not a host of anything. i'm not an anchor. i'm a journalist. that's what i do every single day. it never occurred to me to do anything different. i to say that >> jon: where does the pressure come from on journalists to no

>> jon? >> jon: no, i'm going float to commercial and we'll have a conversation. we do have to go to >> jon: welcome back. here speaking to president barack obama. second half starts to go faster. the questions will get a little tougher. how many times a week does biden show up in a wet bathing suit to a meeting? just ball park figure you're? >> i had to put out a presidential directive on that. we had to stop it. >> jon: have you to put towels down. >> i have to say he looks pretty good. >> jon: i don't doubt that. this is something i call still or no. so you're president now. before you ran you had certain things that you thought -- i wonder if four years of president has changed that. first is we don't have to trade our values and ideals for our security. do you still feel that way? >> we don't. there are things we haven't gotten done. i still want to close guantanamo bay. one thing we have to do is put a legal architecture in place and we need congressional help do that to make sure not only am i reined in and an president's reigned in in terms of decisions. t

>> jon: maybe. >> no-- . >> jon: i understand. >> sorry, it's tough to breathe in that bunker. >> jon: the oxygen in that budget certificate terrible. >> totally. >> jon: wyatt, are you in a bunker, the oxygen gets bad. >> would you think somebody would febreze this place. >> jon: i know. why can't they-- why can't they-- oh, you know what, i saw they had water down there. (laughter) >> holy crap there's water in here. >> jon: i bet there is water in the budgeter. >> there's water in here oh, come down with that water. (laughter) i threw it on a shelf, i think there was a shelf there. >> jon: it just fell off the-- (laughter) so-- so getting back to this --. >> i mean they can't go to mitch pitch if that is what you were suggested. >> jon: oh, right, michigan, amish country is nearby. >> oh, yeah, like those guys don't take super pac money. >> jon: wyatt cenac, everybody. ÷e2[?úpr x >> jon: welcome back. thank you. in the midst of an ugly election season one might forget there remains a place where democracy remains clean and cool. middle school. john olver and jason jones decided i

>> jon: i'm so sorry. "i@zoekxkxú8,xct:9 (cheers and applause). >> jon: welcome back! my guest tonight, he is the c.e.o. of berkshire hathaway, she is the senior editor at large of "fortune" magazine as well as author of the new book "tap dancing to work: warren buffett on practically everything, 1966 to 2012." please welcome to the program warren buffett and carol loomis. (cheers and applause) nice to see you, sir. nice to see you. (applause) how are you? >> never better. never better. >> jon: great to see you guys. the book is called "tap dancing to work." tell me about this collaboration first of all. you are a very renown and well-respected financial writer. you run -- >> let's not get into it. (laughter) >> jon: how did this come to be? >> how did the book come to be? >>> jon: yes. >> well i got the idea when we had been covering warren for 40 years. i thought we ought to pull all this together. because we'd had a great collection of stories, many of them written by other writers, not me at all, and i thought we should do it and then it only took me six years to g

: that would be awesome. >> thank you, jon. >> jon: nate silver. uno.;ááááj/ >> jon: that's our show. join us tomorrow night at 11:00. here it is your moment of zen. >> hi. i thought obama would be buried in a landslide. instead i've been in a ♪ chappelle's show, chappelle's show ♪ ♪ chappelle's show ♪ chappelle's show ♪ chappelle's show ♪ ow! ♪ whoo-hoo-hoo! ♪ whoo-hoo! ♪ yeah, yeah. [♪...] let's start the show. [♪...] announcer: you've seen them at mardi gras and on spring break. now see them as you've never seen them before... in the wilds of africa! that's right! available for the first time on home video, it'snational geographic's 3rd world girls gone wild! no collection of videos showing girls lifting their shirts up is complete withoutnational geographic's 3rd world girls gone wild. call now. man: dave chappelle! [applause, cheering, whistling...]

give me that hand. >> jon: absolute! this and then this. >> right! >> jon: they grew up poor. city university at that time was free. they got an excellent, free education. now,-- from the government. >> from a local city and state government. not from the federal government. you see, there's this thing called the constitution. that's why i wrote this book because these two characters didn't believe i believe that the constitution meant what it said. the constitution limits the federal government and lets the states and local governments to do things. if you don't want to pay fair city college in your taxes, go to another state where they don't have these columns. if you want to live where people can get a good education, people who otherwise couldn't afford it, go live where the taxes pay for those schools. as ronald reagan said people can vote with their feet. >> jon: ultimate the federal government-- poor people, obviously their suz, the soles are not as quick, have trouble trouble with mobility in some sparse. you're saying the federal government should not be involved in e

>> jon: welcome to the ""daily show"." my name is jon stewart. i have a good divest tonight. the most delightful laugh in television to my mind, judge andrew napolitano will be joining us right over here. first, i want to let you people know i am a jew who is in to politics. ( cheers and applause ). been doing the show 15 years now. ( laughter ) speaking of which, ooh, i think we have a new middle east war brewing out there. that's late-breaking news. we'll have to deal with that when we get back. what's better than a middle east war. let's begin one more from the "where are they now?." you may remember mitt romney made a rather infamous statement that 47% of the country would not vote for him because they saw himself as victims, entitled-- housing, health care, from the government. as it turns out, much to his disappointment, barack obama was able to pick up four more percent of real america giving him the victory. of course romney walked back his 47% statement. >> in this case i said something that was just completely wrong, and i absolutely believe, however, that my life h

: that would be awesome. >> thank you, jon. >> jon: nate silver. >> jon: that's our show. join us tomorrow night at 11:00. here it is your moment of zen. >> hi. i thought obama would be buried in a landslide. instead i've been in a