. >>> plus see what happens when chris matthews drops in on david letterman. trs ♪ ♪ no two people have the same financial goals. pnc works with you to understand yours and help plan for your retirement. visit a branch or call now for your personal retirement review. still running in the morning? yeah. getting your vegetables every day? when i can. [ bop ] [ male announcer ] could've had a v8. two full servings of vegetables for only 50 delicious calories. it means trying something new. [ woman ] that uncertainty of what's to come. ♪ ♪ . >>> final for your first look at the dish of scrambled politics. u.s. deficit fell in october to almost $92 billion in part because of the lower cost of federal payroll. and here is a blast from the past when the government shut down on this day this 1995. >> we're broke. at midnight, caught in a political battle between president clinton and congress. >> after arizona reopened the grand canyon during the shutdown, the state's congressional delegation is asking for a refund from the national parks service. they want $4

we'll tell you about obama care going hollywood and stick around for letterman's top ten, pelosi style. getting trapped. getting trapped. why's that? uh, mark? go get help! i have my reasons. look, you don't have to feel trapped with our raise your rate cd. if our rate on this cd goes up, yours can too. oh that sounds nice. don't feel trapped with the ally raise your rate cd. ally bank. your money needs an ally. to share with family. [ woman 2 ] to carry on traditions. [ woman 3 ] to come together even when we're apart. [ male announcer ] in stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy and more, swanson makes holiday dishes delicious. see who does good work and compare costs. it doesn't usually work that way with health care. but with unitedhealthcare, i get information on quality rated doctors, treatment options and estimates for how much i'll pay. that helps me, and my guys, make better decisions. i don't like guesses with my business, and definitely not with our health. innovations that work for you. that's health in numbers. unitedhealthcare. life could be hectic. as a working mom of two young

exhibit a, and we're going to -- courtesy david letterman here, is this. >> let's check in with governor chris christie on the campaign trail. take a look. >> well, then i have no interest in answering your question. >> first off, it's none of your business. >> your rear end is going to get thrown in jail, idiot. >> let me tell you this. you should really see me when i'm pissed. >> are you stupid? >> chris christie, reasonable republican. >> he does like to point his finger. this got a lot of play over the weekend when he was giving a hard time to one of the teachers who came out to see him. let me ask you both really quickly. does he have the temperament to win the nomination? >> you know, who knows. we'll see. one of the things we know is being in the national spotlight is way different from being even under an intense state spotlight. so we'll see how that is moving forward. we don't know that he's going to run against mrs. clinton. we don't know who's going to run on the republican side. but i think based upon the last 12 hours, that he's probably in the best position of all republic

as you saw i was the guest show on "the late show with david letterman." you'll see the interview was off the cuff as they come on late night. here was my conversation about the time in africa with the peace corps. >> i figured i was teaching democracy and capitalism while jake is over in latin america doing the opposite. i felt romantic about it. i hitchhiked through africa like this all alone as a white guy. and i thought it was an experience of a lifetime. everybody who's been in the peace corps say it's the greatest experience of their life. speaking zulu for years. >> do you still speak it? >> yeah, i can still do a little. about halfway through my two years in a bar, i ask fake my way. i got enough of this. it was a tough language. >> and you never know when you're going to have to go into the zulu these days. >> it always comes in handy. very long night, maybe. >> the zulu joking aside, we got to health care. here was that exchange. >> i'm sick of talking about obama care. it's made me physically sick to talk about health care. what happened? what w

but david letterman says he's not sure who he'll support. >> bill clinton said he thought it was time for a woman to become president of the united states. we have his entire statement regarding being time for a president to be a woman here in the united states. here is the whole statement. it's fascinating. watch this. >> i hope we have a woman president in my lifetime and i think it would be a good thing for the world as well as for america. as far as possible candidates goes, i suggest jessica alba, scarlett johansson, beyonce, kate upton, shakira or my wife. in no particular order. a message from -- >> can't argue with the president. now, finally ron burgundy visited conan last night to promote his new book. and there were more than a few revelations including one that really turned some heads. >> it says in the book that you slept with bruce lee. >> i did. >> i slept with bruce lee? >> i did. it wasn't a homosexual thing. the height of being manly. nothing against homosexuals. but it was just two men and it was fast and furious. much the way he fights. he's like two wolverines go

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david letterman is excited about chris christie's re-election. >> let's check in with governor chris christie on the campaign trail. take a look. >> i have no interest in answering your question. >> you know what? first off, it's none of your business. >> your rear end will get thrown in jail. >> let me tell you this, you know what? >> you should really see me -- >> chris christie, reasonable republican. >>> my favorite game show, the price is right. one contestant couldn't contain her excitement about getting on stage withdrew carey. >> ahh! yeah! yes! yes! ah! whew! oh, i love you! i love him! oh, my god! thank you so much! >> the wig looks good. that's a good-looking wig. >> we good now? >> that's good. >> okay. >> i'm ready. >> i love the absolute no self consciousness on that one. just put it right on. i had some people say please, please don't show my price is right again. we spared you this time. >>> still ahead on "way too early" what motivated you to vote or why didn't you cast your ballot? your best tweets coming up and "morning joe" live from d.c. sam is there. hi, michael

. >> halloween gaft networks the chance to show off their personalities and you might expect david letterman very impressed. >> it's halloween and all your tv show hosts put on the halloween outfits. this is matt lauer today on the "today" show. that's george stephanopoulos dressed as george clooney. next we have hoda and kathie lee. these are adult men and women making a living on network television. and we do have 60 minutes, take a look. >> that's good. one guy missing from that is willie geist. he may have the best of them all. in case you can't recognize him, he's the hof. look at that chest hair. that's a little rough. i hope it came off, willie. probably at home trying to save it. >>> still ahead, your favorite candy that you know you took from your kid's stash when they went to bed. #way too sneaky. my customers can shop around-- see who does good work and compare costs. it doesn't usually work that way with health care. but with unitedhealthcare, i get information on quality rated doctors, treatment options and estimates for how much i'll pay. that helps me, and my guys, make better

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the nation and around the world, it's the "late show" with david letterman. tonight... plus paul shaffer and the cbs orchestra. i'm alan kalter. and now, covered with three-day grime, david letterman! (cheers and applause)

. >>> david letterman is next with kelly rippa. >> she's got to get up early. >> our news starts at 4:30. we'll see you. ( band playing "late show" theme ) >> from the heart of broadway, broadcasting across the nation and aroundhtke world, it's the "late show" with david letterman. tonight... plus paul shaffer and the cbs orchestra. i'm alan kalter. and now slippery when wet, david letterman captioning sponsored by worldwide pants and cbs ( band playing "late show" theme ) ( cheers and applause )

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letterman is next. >> little rain maybe? >> north bay, yeah, tomorrow morning little bit. >> all right. >> little bit. >> we'll see you tomorrow morning 4:30. ( band playing "late show" theme ) >> from the heart of broadway, broadcasting across the nation and around the world, it's the "late show" with david letterman. tonight... plus paul shaffer and the cbs orchestra. i'm alan kalter. and now, u.s.o. show girl, letterman! (cheers and applause) captioning sponsored by worldwide pants and cbs

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. >> david letterman is next. >> see you tomorrow. ( band playing "late show" theme ) >> from the heart of broadway, broadcasting across the nation and around the world, it's the "late show" with david letterman. tonight... plus paul shaffer and the cbs orchestra. i'm alan kalter. captioning sponsored by worldwide pants and cbs and now, with the temerity of a saloon gambler, david letterman! (cheers and applause)

. >> letterman is next with david ortiz. >> big papi. good night. ( band playing "late show" theme ) >> from the heart of broadway, broadcasting across the nation and around the world, it's the "late show" with david letterman. tonight... plus paul shaffer and the cbs orchestra. i'm alan kalter. and now, it will put a chicken in every pot, david letterman! (cheers and applause) captioning sponsored by worldwide pants and cbs

. >>> letterman is next with lady antebellum. >> congratulations, batkid, you did it! [ batman music ] ( band playing "late show" theme ) >> from the heart of broadway, broadcasting across the nation and around the world, it's the "late show" with david letterman. tonight... plus paul shaffer and the cbs orchestra. i'm alan kalter. and now traveling wilbury, david letterman! captioning sponsored by worldwide pants and cbs

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san francisco congresswoman, nancy pelosi, in "david letterman." the top things you never knew about the house of representatives >>> 19 representatives have gone on to become president. ten have gone ton to manage a siz zers. every month, we are tested for steroids. members tap silverware against water glasses to encourage the house leaders to kiss. the tea party isn't nearly as much fun as it sounds. >> that was classic. >> strong stuff. always a pleasure and always an honor to be on the top ten list and she nailed it. >> i think she even said they have -- the house of representatives has the power to eliminate late night hosts. >> to impeach late night hosts. >> letterman was like, what are you waiting for? >>> we continue to follow breaking news for you. the vehicle listed in a state-wide amber alert has been spotted in southern california. police looking for a newborn baby boy taken from his home in sunnyvale yesterday by his father. bob redell is talking to police right now. he is going to have the very latest details next. >>> and, there are

david letterman. jimmy fallon. jimmy kimmem. and stephen colbert. that's right! i'm nominated for a people's choice award. i have always wanted to win a people's choice award ever since i heard they still existed. and now folks, my dream may come true. i may finally take home the coveted-- i want to say crystal vagina? i'm not sure what that is, nice, nice, whatever it is. folks, i love it. because this is the only award chosen by the people. finally a show that celebrates america's life of liking things. of course "the colbert report" is a team effort so really this nomination is for everyone on my staff who hosts the show. (laughter) and, and i've got some stiff competition. i respect all of these guys. may the best man win but as a journalist, i would be remiss not to tell you about their sordid past. for starters the jimmies are a personal friends of mine. but did you know that neither of them is really named jimmy? both of them were born james, uh-huh. what else are they lying to you about? and there is no greater fan of david letterman that yours truly but

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and now, all tricks, no treat, david letterman! (cheers and applause) captioning sponsored by worldwide pants and cbs ( band playing "late show" theme ) ( cheers and applause ) (cheers and applause) >> dave: nice to see you, ladies and gentlemen. welcome to the program. happy halloween, everybody. (cheers and applause) the by the way, congratulations to the boston red sox! what do you think of your current world champion -- world series boston red sox. (applause) the m.v.p. was david ortiz. what have a series this guy had. and the boston fans after the series was clinched last night they went crazy and a bunch of rowdy young i guess teen punks actually tipped over david ortiz. (laughter) crazy. immediately after the game they awarded him with the m.v.p. trophy and a drug test. so that was good. (laughter) and we have for you now a segment we like to call "cheer up, st. louis. cheer up, st. louis." take a look. it's called cheer up, st. louis." >> you've still got your beloved st. louis rams whose 3-5 record puts them in fourth plac

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david letterman handled it differently. anyone who's seen miley cyrus' bizarre feline inspired performance at the american music awards will get the joke. >> we got a big deal, nuclear deal with iran. they say it's some kind of an agreement. they will give up their enrichment program, but something's not right at the white house. did you see the president? i think it's the wear and tear of the office. president obama is announcing the big nuclear agreement with iran, something is not right. take a look at this. then we'll talk about it. >> diplomacy opened up a new path. the future in which we can verify that iron's nuclear program -- >> see, he's got a giant cat there. >> finally it's the time of year the white house used to make a life of death decision. choosing which turkey will receive an official presidential pardon. while the sermon itself goes back to harry truman's presidency, george h.w. bush was the first to pardon one. this year the white house are allowing voters which will get the special privilege in an onlin

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but as david letterman revealed friday, there was a reason for the sudden dash in the chamber. >> then something happened during the council meeting yesterday and people were saying what was that. suddenly he started running through the council chambers. well, now we have a better understanding of what happened yesterday up in toronto, canada. we have it on videotape here. i want you to watch this. >> attention, ladies and gentlemen, complimentary crack is now being served in the lobby. >> next up, realtime's bill maher marked last week's anniversary of president kennedy's assassination by comparing jfk to most conservatives' favorite ronald reagan. here's how he weighed in. >> historians will argue forever about whether kennedy and reagan were good presidents and never settle it. but can we on this day at least agree that kennedy was cooler? i mean, sorry, but our liberal icon was a smart, sexy war hero who said he wanted to go to the moon. yours was an old fudy duddy that wanted to rock denim. everything jfk wore is still cool today. look at him. he looks like a j. crew model. when h

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i remember i watched your interview on the letterman show there was a time of $100 billion it. >> it was the presidency of johnson the first federal budget in our history of one ended billion dollars everybody can pass at the thought. >> now doesn't seem ts at the thought. >> now doesn't seem that way it doesn't look like the republicans are hoping us. >> that i was asked asked, speaking of my other books at fort leavenworth leavenworth, the military base, not the prison, 40 dendritic they the majors from around the world somebody asked what is the biggest problem that i worry about when they go to bet at night? american weakness. that to model feat the american economy in europe. there is no way to visit the deficits are to have but that we are incurring without sending out a signal to the world this country will the the what it was in the past. people take the message is see a. then eisenhower was president i served spending 10 percent gdp and defense today is less than 4%. end the said bill that goes to the world with sequestration could yvette of the defense budget out of a tenur

as you can see david letterman is having a little too much fun with the latest political news. here's how he handled the charges of plagiarism against senator rand paul last night. >> you folks know rand paul, kentucky senator rand paul is accused of plagiarism. he just was taking stuff from other sources. well, today, he issued this statement. this is from rand paul's office, senator rand paul. let's look at that. >> in the face of charges leveled against him, rand paul wishes to say i am not a plajerrist. further more, i think it's going to be a long, long, time until touchdown brings me round to find i'm not the man they think i am at home. oh, no, no, no. i'm a rocket man. rand paul, rocket man. >> the rocket man. well, they say imitation is the highest form of flattery, but who knew paul was a elton john fan? >>> owen hill hopes to challenge in the midterms next year. he's wasted no times to show off his true colors. here he was in his attempt as birther humor at a denver county republican breakfast. >> i was flying back from kenya. we spent about two weeks in the largest

before we go to break, david letterman couldn't resist getting in on the butterball jokes, so check this out. >> now, depending on your specific turkey needs, you can request a female operator, a male operator, a male operator dressed as a female operator or a female operator with a mustache. butterball, the dead bird people. >> ladies and gentlemen, that just ain't right. it's 7am and steve is already thinking about tomorrow. which is why he's investing in his heart health by eating kellogg's raisin bran®. not only is kellogg's raisin bran® heart healthy it's a delicious source of potassium. ♪ mom make you eat that? i happen to like raisins. [ male announcer ] invest in your heart health. now that's what i'm talkin' about. with kellogg's raisin bran®. [ female announcer ] now with kellogg's family rewards you can get even more from the products you love. join today at kfr.com. you can get even more from the products you love. [ female announcer ] some people like to pretend a flood could never happen to them. and that their homeowners insurance protects them. [ thunder crashes ] it