(cheers and applause) jordan carlos. (cheers and applause) robin thede. (cheers and applause) sorry, now robin thede. come on out, robin. and rory albanese. (cheers and applause) >> we did it! we did it! whooo! vined kaition, baby. we got it! >> no, rory, no. >> no. >> no, we did not get-- . >> larry: no, it's not. >> what are we celebrating. >> larry: no, we're not. >> it's over. >> whooo. we're cancelled! >> larry: mike yard, o sadly could not be with us here tonight. they have been detained for brazilian authorities from some [bleep] story they told about getting car jacked or something. but they have previous engagements. i just want to say how great it was working with all of you guys. i have never worked with a funnier, sicker, darker group of human beings. >> thank you. >> larry: an i mean that in every way possible. (cheers and applause). >> larry: every way imaginable. so cheers to all of you guys. i want to say thanks. and when we come back, here is what we will do, when we come back we will share some stories and do a little drinking, i don't k

i'm jordan carlos, "nightly show "contributor and arbiter of good said. i live in brooklyn where the finest things in life are only a step away. food to me isn't just nourishment. it's a way of life. so when i heard about so-called food desert, i knew i had to find out more about it. >> a food desert is a neighborhood where people have very little access to a supermarket or a large grocery store. >> you're saying a large number of people in america don't live near a grocery store in. >> 80% of those food deserts are in city areas where people live further than one mile from a grocery store that sells fresh fruits and vegetables. >> it's the age-old question-- if the exwroasry store won't come to you, why don't you just hop into your prius and go to-- i'm sorry, is there something funny? >> food deserts are not in neighborhood where's people have priuses or mercedes. >> okay, volveose. foresters. >> these are neighborhoods which are primarily low-income people. >> these people, you know, the desert people that you were saying-- >> this is not a real desert

first up, "the nightly show" contributor jordan carlos. "the nightly show" contributor franchesca ramsey. and his new ep "j'ouvert" comes out this september, you can hear the single "hendrix" now, award winning musician and producer wyclef jean! and for everyone at home, join our conversation right now on twitter @nightlyshow using the #tonightly. michelle obama's speech was the best speech last night, but bernie sanders' was the most important. it was intended to unify the party, but it felt more like his breakup speech. how do you think he did? with his peeps, as they said in the e-mails. how do you think he did? does the party feel united or is it still -- >> it's going to get united. but it was really hard. looking at it, looked like bernie was giving the speech when you see the people crying. i was just, like, man, we need to legalize more weed, man. people are too emotional right now. >> larry: they're in the throws of the breakup. >> you make up to break up. it's almost like he was saying, now i can no longer be with you. i want to

first up, "the nightly show" contributor jordan carlos. "the nightly show" contributor franchesca ramsey. and his new ep "j'ouvert" comes out this september, you can hear the single "hendrix" now, award winning musician and producer wyclef jean! and for everyone at home, join our conversation right now on twitter @nightlyshow using the #tonightly. michelle obama's speech was the best speech last night, but bernie sanders' was the most important. it was intended to unify the party, but it felt more like his breakup speech. how do you think he did? with his peeps as they said in the e-mails. how do you think he did? does the party feel united or is it still -- >> it's going to get united. but it was really hard. looking at it, looked like bernie was giving the speech when you see the people crying. i was just, like, man we need to legalize more weed, man. people are too emotional right now. >> larry: they're in the throws of the breakup. >> you make up to break up. it's almost like he was saying, now i can no longer be with you. i want to tu

absolutely ( cheers and applause ) >> larry: thanks to my panelists, jordan carlos, grace parra, and deshauna barber. and thanks to bob dibuono as donald trump. thanks for watching. good nightly. captioning sponsored by comedy central >> trevor: welcome bac -- >> welcome back to the coverage of the 2016 satirical games. welcome roy wood, jr. what a game it has been. >> we've seen world records, dreams made and hopes crushed. >> who doesn't like watching the flicker go out in a young kid's eyes. >> jordan, what's that on your neck? >> oh, this thing? (laughter) >> have you been doing the cupping therapy like the athletes? >> no, no. last night my loneliness got the best of me and i had sex with a vacuum cleaner. (laughter) >> okay, let'so go to trevor noah as he competes in the 30-minute men's free-style hosting sprint. from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with trevor noah! (cheers and applause) ♪ >> trevor: thank you so much! welcome to "the daily show"! i'm your host trevor noah. tonight's guests from the hit comedy central show "anot

boldly blended colas. ( cheers and applause ) >> larry: thanks to my panelists, jordan carlos, grace parra, and deshauna barber. and thanks to bob dibuono as donald trump. thanks for watching. good nightly. captioning sponsored by comedy centralit's 11:59 and 59 seconds. this happened on twitter! the fallout continues from the incendiary comments made yesterday by rich-guy-taking-a-dare-way-too-f ar donald trump, where he seemed seemed to imply -- encourage violence against hillary clinton. cnn captured this gif of an audience member's real-time reaction to trump's thinly veiled second amendment th.

not the other way around. ( cheers and applause ) >> larry: thanks to my panelists, jordan carlos, grace parra, and deshauna barber. and thanks to bob dibuono as donald trump. thanks for watching. good nightly. captioning sponsored by comedy central comedy central >> the 2016 daily show summer games. >> welcome back to day three of the daily show summer games coverage. west last night michael phelps took home two gold medals bringing his career total to 216789 it's not surprising. this guy is built for swimming. >> you are telling me, those broad shoulders, the arms, the washboard abs. he has that thing look a capital v points right down to his fun zone, what is that thing called? >> i don't-- i don't know. >> oh, man. how do you even get that thing? >> well, if i had to guess i would say dedication to fitness along with a good diet. >> isn't there a pill you can take or you know, crush up and snort off your cleaning lady's back? >> hell if i know. i go to the beach, i take my shirt off, people think i'm a walrus. they throw sardines at me. >> free sardines, lucky man. >> anyway let's go

first up, "the nightly show" contributor jordan carlos. "the nightly show" contributor grace parra. and the paperback version of his novel "two years eight months and twenty-eight nights" is out now, author salman rushdie. (cheers and applause) and for everyone at home, join our conversation right now on twitter, @nightlyshow using #tonightly. last night at the convention, ted cruz refused to back trump. take a look. >> don't stay home in november. (applause) if you love our country and love your children as much as i know that you do, stand and speak and vote your conscience, vote for candidates up and down the ticket who you trust to defend our freedom and to be faithful to the constitution. (applause and boos) >> larry: okay, straight up. >> mmm... yeah... >> larry: did he perform a service for america? will we be thanking him later? if trump is not the president? >> first of all, i agree with what he said. i just don't think you will find those people in the republican party. (applause) it's difficult. i don't know. something sticks in my throat about saying thank you to ted cru

first up, "nightly show" contributor jordan carlos. ( cheers and applause ) and "nightly show" contributor grace parra. ( cheers and applause ) and not only is she the current miss u.s.a. she's the first woman actively serving in the united states army reserve to win the title, deshauna barber. ( cheers and applause ) and for everyone at home, join our conversation right now on twitter @nightly show, using the hashtag #tonightly. okay. yesterday, trump basically suggested the assassination of hillary clinton. please take a look. >> hillary wants to abolish essentially abolish the second amendment. if she gets to pick her judges nothing you can do, folks. although, the second amendment people, maybe there is. i don't know. >> larry: that guy said oh ( bleep ). i'm trying real hard on this. i'm trying real hard. is there any possibility that he meant something else? >> if he's saying these things and we're giving him the benefit of the doubt. it seems like he's crowd sourcing-- "if you want to do it, whatever. if you want to kill her whatever." >> the reality is, he has a lot of supporters,