caitlyn: we're going to play, steve. hey, amy. amy: hi, steve. steve: how you going? amy: i'm wonderful, thank you. steve: marietta, georgia. amy: yes, sir. steve: straight up 75. amy: yes, sir. steve: uh-huh, good. amy: you're so handsome! [cheering and applause] steve: yeah. i know that's right. [laughter] let me tell you something. hey, let me tell you something. let me tell you something. even if you ugly, when somebody tell you that, you feel better about yourself, don't you? thank you very much, amy. amy: absolutely. steve: chrissy, where's the worst place on the body to get a bee sting? chrissy: um, i think your lips. steve: your lips. eric, where's the worst place on the body to get a bee sting? steve: your eye. miss sandi, where's the worst place on your body to get a bee sting? sandi: the worst one i ever got was on my foot. steve: worst one was on your foot. eric: come on, amy, one more. steve: amy, one answer left, you clear the board. what's the worst place on the body to get a bee sting? amy: i'm going to say neck, steve. steve: on your neck. one answer

of pitt. >> steve: here's peterman. couldn't hook up with aaron matthews, the true freshman out of clairton, p.a. >> brian: where has conner gone? the defense of climson has stood up in the fourth quarter. you cannot hand it to him and expect to run it between the tackles right now. you have soft edges when you use conner on the perimeter. couldn't be surprised if they try it again. >> steve: second down and ten. peterman. too high. scott orndoff, all 6'5" of him went up, and orndoff couldn't bring it down becomes you mentioned, 6'6", treat him like a basketball player. give him a chance to go up and >>teve: field goal doesn't help pitt the way it would have clemson apartment the other end. 5:30 to go, fourth quarter. third and ten. peterman lost one down the sideline. the timing off for jester weah but there is a flag. >> brian: wallace the coverage. >> referee: holding defense number 12. 10-yard penalty, first down. >> steve: let's take a look. i didn't see it. >> brian: all-out blitz. the safety came. and wallace has

>> steve: very funny. to my right is our first player, her new movie "jackie," opens in new york and los angeles on friday, it's natalie portman! [ cheers and applause ] and to my left, we have the host of nbc's "tonight show" and saugerties sweetheart, jimmy fallon. tonight is an incredibly talented writer, director, producer and one of the minds behind "westworld," which airs sundays at 9:00 p.m. on hbo, please welcome j.j. abrams! [ cheers and applause ] >> hello. >> good to see you. >> wow, [ inaudible ] >> steve: and jimmy, you will be playing with one of the best-selling musicians of all time, his new album, "acoustic christmas" comes out tomorrow. it's neil diamond! [ cheers and applause ] s >> jimmy: oh my god. >> what's up, jimmy? >> jimmy: ay caramba. come on. >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about. >> you should have brooklyn on yours too. >> jimmy: i was born in brooklyn, but yeah i was raised in -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: we're brooklyn. brooklyn versus -- [ inaudible ] >> steve: -- manhasset. >>

of pitt. >> steve: here's peterman. throwing on the run. matthews, the true freshman out of clairton, p.a. >> brian: where has conner gone? the defense of climson has stood up in the fourth quarter. you cannot hand it to him and expect to run it between the tackles right now. you have soft edges when you use conner on the perimeter. couldn't be surprised if they try it again. >> steve: second down and ten. peterman. too high. scott orndoff, all 6'5" of him went up, and orndoff couldn't bring it down becomes you mentioned, 6'6", treat him like a basketball player. give him a chance to go up and help pitt the way it would have clemson apartment the other end. 5:30 to go, fourth quarter. third and ten. peterman lost one down the sideline. the timing off for jester weah but there is a flag. >> brian: wallace the coverage. >> referee: holding defense number 12. 10-yard penalty, first down. >> steve: let's take a look. i didn't see it. >> brian: all-out blitz. the safety came. and wallace has man to man. that's -- oh, i don't

>> steve: one word. one word only. >> jimmy: yep. >> steve: one word. [ laughter ] >> just one. >> jimmy: i know, i know, i know, i know. mamba. >> charo. [ laughter ] >> steve: ooh. >> jimmy: charo. natalie. >> okay. chip. [ laughter ] remember his? >> skip. >> steve: oh, almost. [ laughter ] >> brooklyn is on the line. >> jimmy: guacamole. >> salad. >> steve: oh, unbelievable. that was for three points. natalie, your -- your turn. not salad. >> okay. yeah. meringue. >> salsa. [ cheers and applause ] >> should've guessed [ inaudible ]. >> pal, we don't get any points -- >> jimmy: no, we don't get half a point. >> steve: neil. j.j. jimmy. >> the password is -- >> steve: j.j., you're up first. >> jimmy: j.j. is up first. >> steve: j.j. is up first. >> this is tough. [ light laughter ] >> oh, no. okay. >> can i have like 20 minutes? okay, here we go. last. >> dingle. >> can i use salad again? [ laughter ] can i get a different word? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you can't get a a different word. >> scratch. oh, t

of pitt. >> steve: here's peterman. matthews, the true freshman out of clairton, p.a. >> brian: where has conner gone? the defense of climson has stood up in the fourth quarter. you cannot hand it to him and expect to run it between the tackles right now. you have soft edges when you use conner on the perimeter. couldn't be surprised if they try it again. >> steve: second down and ten. peterman. too high. scott orndoff, all 6'5" of him went up, and orndoff couldn't bring it down becomes you mentioned, 6'6", treat him like a basketball player. give him a chance to go up and >> steve: field goal doesn't help pitt the way it would have clemson apartment the other end. 5:30 to go, fourth quarter. third and ten. peterman lost one down the sideline. the timing off for jester weah but there is a flag. >> brian: wallace the coverage. >> referee: holding defense number 12. 10-yard penalty, first down. >> steve: let's take a look. i didn't see it. >> brian: all-out blitz. the safety came. and wallace has man to man. that's -- oh,

>> steve: very funny. to my right is our first player, her new movie "jackie," opens in new york and los angeles on friday, it's natalie portman! [ cheers and applause ] and to my left, we have the host of nbc's "tonight show" and saugerties sweetheart, jimmy fallon. tonight is an incredibly talented writer, director, producer and one of the minds behind "westworld," which airs sundays at 9:00 p.m. on hbo, please welcome j.j. abrams! [ cheers and applause ] >> hello. >> good to see you. >> wow, [ inaudible ] >> steve: and jimmy, you will be playing with one of the best-selling musicians of all time, his new album, "st [ cheers and applause ] s >> jimmy: oh my god. >> what's up, jimmy? >> jimmy: ay caramba. come on. >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about. >> you should have brooklyn on yours too. >> jimmy: i was born in brooklyn, but yeah i was raised in -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: we're brooklyn. brooklyn versus -- [ inaudible ] >> steve: -- manhasset. >> jimmy: long island versus >> jimmy: absolutely. >> oh ye

>> steve: one word. one word only. >> jimmy: yep. >> steve: one word. [ laughter ] >> just one. >> jimmy: i know, i know, i know, i know. mamba. >> charo. [ laughter ] >> steve: ooh. >> jimmy: charo. natalie. chip. [ laughter ] remember his? >> skip. >> steve: oh, almost. [ laughter ] >> brooklyn is on the line. >> jimmy: guacamole. >> salad. >> steve: oh, unbelievable. that was for t p natalie, your -- your turn. not salad. >> okay. yeah. meringue. >> salsa. [ cheers and applause ] >> should've guessed [ inaudible ]. >> pal, we don't get any points -- >> jimmy: no, we don't get half a point. >> steve: neil. j.j. >> steve: j.j., you're up first. >> jimmy: j.j. is up first. >> steve: j.j. is up first. >> this is tough. [ light laughter ] >> oh, no. okay. >> can i have like 20 minutes? okay, here we go. last. >> dingle. [ laughter ] can i get a different word? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you can't get a a different word. >> scratch. oh, that's a good one. track. >> what? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: laugh track. >> o

steve: hi, ana. ana: hi, steve. lemonis: also, in order to cut down travel and enhance communication, i linked up pacific hospitality and grafton furniture with at&t collaborate. ana: did you get the files i sent you about the simple greek project? steve: yes, i did. lemonis: ana and steve will be able to make calls, hold conferences, and even share designs with one easy-to-use platform. and with simple greek franchises set to open all across the country, it's imperative that pacific and grafton stay connected and communicate. ana, i mean, the reason that this business is successful and will be successful is because you're a big driver. ana: you kind of brought this out of me, which i knew was there, but i never really applied it. you like, kicked my butt and woke me up and in a way. lemonis: you should be very proud because she is who she is because of her, but also because of you. gilbert: i don't think that i can live without this. lemonis: yeah, i know. we can't be without you. ana: he's like a different man. he

>> steve: oh, god. hey-oh! ?? there we go. >> jimmy: it's a used co it's actually, someone wrote on the inside in pen. >> steve: oh. >> jimmy: "to christy and david, a souvenir of your winter vacation from grandma." [ laughter ] [ applause ] "horny." there it is. [ applause ] isn't that sweet? >> steve: don't sit on the kids. >> jimmy: isn't that sweet? next up is one of those word circle books and i swear i didn't make this one up here. this is real. "jimmy fallon facts -- a word search puzzle book, 104 pages of big puzzles and facts." someone actually made this. and i'm -- i'm looking at it. [ talking over each other ] career at "saturday night live," weekend update with tina fey. made cameos. >> steve: wow. [ light laughter ] you seem really over the moon -- >> jimmy: the leather man's in here. >> steve: what up? what is? >> jimmy: the leather man. [ light laughter ] i had an album out called "blow your pants off." that's true. i did, i did. it was grammy-award winning album. here it is here. we have

of pitt. >> steve: here's peterman. throwing on the run. matthews, the true freshman out of clairton, p.a. >> brian: where has conner gone? the defense of climson has stood up in the fourth quarter. you cannot hand it to him and expect to run it between the tackles right now. you have soft edges when you use conner on the perimeter. couldn't be surprised if they try it again. >> steve: second down and ten. peterman. too high. scott orndoff, all 6'5" of him went up, and orndoff couldn't bring it down becomes you mentioned, 6'6", treat him like a basketball player. give him a chance to go up and make a play. got to have that. help pitt the way it would have clemson apartment the other end. 5:30 to go, fourth quarter. third and ten. peterman lost one down the sideline. the timing off for jester weah but there is a flag. >> brian: wallace the coverage. >> referee: holding defense number 12. 10-yard penalty, first down. >> steve: let's take a look. i didn't see it. >> brian: all-out blitz. the safety came. and wallace has ma

of pitt. >> steve: here's peterman. throwing on the run. couldn't hook up with aaron matthews, the true freshman out of clairton, p.a. >> brian: where has conner gone? the defense of climson has stood up in the fourth quarter. you cannot hand it to him and expect to run it between the tackles right now. you have soft edges when you use conner on the perimeter. couldn't be surprised if they try it again. >> steve: second down and ten. peterman. too high. scott orndoff, all 6'5" of him went up, and orndoff couldn't bring it down becomes you mentioned, 6'6", treat him like a basketball player. give him a chance to go up and make a play. got to have that. >> steve: field goal doesn't help pitt the way it would have clemson apartment the other end. 5:30 to go, fourth quarter. third and ten. peterman lost one down the sideline. the timing off for jester weah but there is a flag. >> brian: wallace the safety in coverage. >> referee: holding defense number 12. 10-yard penalty, first down. >> steve: let's take a look. i didn't s

>> steve: hey! >> jimmy: it's a remix. [ laughter ] next up, we have a photo of mike pence and nancy pelosi. this one's called #tinderfail. [ applause ] >> steve: dang! oopsie. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: here's a photo of, lady gaga. her meme says, "when you crush that eye exam." it's like -- [ laughter ] and finally, we have kim jong-un. [ audience ohs ] take a look at this photo. his meme says, "ermahgerd, check out my bernerculers." [ applause ] that was "this week in memes." we'll be right back with more of "the tonight show," everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ?? (laughs..) here it is. ?? ?? hey dad! ?? wishes do come true. the lincoln wish list sales event is on. get exceptional offers on the lincoln family of luxury vehicles. sign and drive off in a new 2017 lincoln mkc with zero down and a complimentary first month's payment. ?? olive garden now offers catering delivery we make the food and deliver it to your door so you can enjoy what's important ?? we sent two women into a real guys night out

>> steve: yeah! [ applause ] >> jimmy: i celebrate every year. i celebrate it the same, every year. >> steve: love it. love it! >> jimmy: oh, listen to this. so, experts are warning shoppers to check the spelling of websites on cyber monday because there are lookalike sites that try to scam you with a slight misspelling of a a store's name. yep, they said if you want more info on this, just look it up on goggle. [ applause ] goggle should have it. black friday was the biggest shopping day of the year in the u.s., but some stores in canada also offered their own door buster deals. and i was watching the news, and it made me realize how different our two countries are. look at this store in the u.s. on friday. [ shouting ] >> jimmy: all right. that's -- yeah. yeah, okay. [ laughter ] now take a look at black friday in canada. [ applause ] [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: single file, people are clapping. >> steve: even the employees are applauding. >> jimmy: later, two people fought over a big scree

lot going on, griese. >> steve: hard hit in the secondary. that's drue tranquill who's had a nice game. >> brian: i don't see how oklahoma can get in. they got blasted by houston and ohio state. i just don't see that team that's lurking. if the committee all of a sudden decides not to take that second big ten team who's up next? >> brian: colorado, why not colorado? if washington loses, they lose to colorado. >> todd: there was a method to the madness i wanted to beat the snap. >> steve: you did. line-drive snap to finke. 34-yard punt and a 12-yard return. okay the trojans need some help, a little watch party tonight. and root for the utes. we'll be right back. e ...to get your romantic on. get your appreciation on. and get your unexpected on. where right now, you'll save up to 30% on select ...diamonds in rhythm... stunning diamond fashions. ...and this charmed memories gift set. so go to kay... the number one jewelry store in america... ...and get your kiss on. ? every kiss begins with kay. ? liberty mutual stood with me when i was too busy

>> steve: yeah! >> jimmy: that's proof. >> steve: come on! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: watching that is how i want the feel always. [ laughter ] can we have a split screen? let me see that again. ?? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tariq, tariq! give it a try! give it a try! [ cheers and applause ] ?? higgins! higgins, give it a shot! higgins! [ cheers and applause ] ?? we have a great show, everybody! give it up for the roots! [ cheers and applause ] ?? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: whoa! thank you! [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: come on! >> jimmy: it has been a great week so far. there is more ahead. tomorrow night, jeremy renner will be dropping by our show. >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have something fun planned with him. be sure to tune in for that. plus, michelle dockery and magic from david blaine. >> steve: oh! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm excited about daviai total secrecy. i haven't been told what he's going to do. i'm not allowed to know what he's going to do. >> steve: he's just going

of pitt. >> steve: here's peterman. couldn't hook up with aaron matthews, the true freshman out of clairton, p.a. >> brian: where has conner gone? the defense of climson has stood up in the fourth quarter. you cannot hand it to him and expect to run it between the tackles right now. you have soft edges when you use conner on the perimeter. couldn't be surprised if they try it again. >> steve: second down and ten. peterman. too high. scott orndoff, all 6'5" of him went up, and orndoff couldn't bring it down becomes you mentioned, 6'6", treat him like a basketball player. give him a chance to go up and >> steve: field goal doesn't help pitt the way it would have clemson apartment the other end. 5:30 to go, fourth quarter. third and ten. peterman lost one down the sideline. the timing off for jester weah but there is a flag. >> brian: wallace the safety in coverage. >> referee: holding defense number 12. 10-yard penalty, first down. >> steve: let's take a look. i didn't see it. >> brian: all-out blitz. the safety came. and

of pitt. >> steve: here's peterman. matthews, the true freshman out of clairton, p.a. >> brian: where has conner gone? the defense of climson has stood up in the fourth quarter. you cannot hand it to him and expect to run it between the tackles right now. you have soft edges when you use conner on the perimeter. couldn't be surprised if they try it again. >> steve: second down and ten. peterman. too high. scott orndoff, all 6'5" of him went up, and orndoff couldn't bring it down becomes you mentioned, 6'6", treat him like a basketball player. give him a chance to go up and make a play. >> steve: field goal doesn't help pitt the way it would have clemson apartment the other end. 5:30 to go, fourth quarter. third and ten. peterman lost one down the sideline. the timing off for jester weah but there is a flag. >> brian: wallace the coverage. >> referee: holding defense number 12. 10-yard penalty, first down. >> steve: let's take a look. i didn't see it. >> brian: all-out blitz. the safety came. and wallace has man to man.

>> steve: very funny. to my right is our first player, her new movie "jackie," opens in new york and los angeles on friday, it's natalie portman! [ cheers and applause ] and to my left, we have the host of nbc's "tonight show" and saugerties sweetheart, jimmy fallon. [ cheers and applause ] tonight is an incredibly talented writer, director, producer and one of the minds behind "westworld," which airs sundays at 9:00 p.m. on hbo, please welcome j.j. abrams! [ cheers and applause ] >> hello. >> good to see you. >> wow, [ inaudible ] >> steve: and jimmy, you will be playing with one of the best-selling musicians of all time, his new album, "acoustic christmas" comes out tomorrow. it's neil diamond! [ cheers and applause ] s >> jimmy: oh my god. >> what's up, jimmy? >> jimmy: ay caramba. come on. >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about. >> you should have brooklyn on yours too. >> jimmy: i was born in brooklyn, but yeah i was raised in -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: we're brooklyn. brooklyn versus -- [ inaudible ] >>

>> steve: one word. one word only. >> jimmy: yep. >> steve: one word. [ laughter ] >> just one. >> jimmy: i know, i know, i know, i know. mamba. >> charo. [ laughter ] >> steve: ooh. >> jimmy: charo. natalie. chip. [ laughter ] remember his? >> skip. >> steve: oh, almost. [ laughter ] >> brooklyn is on the line. >> jimmy: guacamole. >> salad. >> steve: oh, unbelievable. natalie, your -- your turn. not salad. >> okay. yeah. meringue. >> salsa. [ cheers and applause ] >> should've guessed [ inaudible ]. >> pal, we don't get any points -- >> jimmy: no, we don't get half a point. >> steve: neil. j.j. >> steve: j.j., you're up first. >> jimmy: j.j. is up first. >> steve: j.j. is up first. >> this is tough. [ light laughter ] >> oh, no. okay. >> can i have like 20 minutes? okay, here we go. last. >> dingle. [ laughter ] can i get a different word? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you can't get a a different word. >> scratch. oh, that's a good one. track. >> what? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: laugh track. >> oh track. no, no.

>> steve: yeah! [ applause ] >> jimmy: i celebrate every year. i celebrate it the same, every year. >> steve: love it. love it! >> jimmy: oh, listen to this. so, experts are warning shoppers to check the spelling of websites on cyber monday because there are lookalike sites that try to scam you with a slight misspelling of a a store's name. yep, they said if you want more info on this, just look it u [ applause ] goggle should have it. black friday was the biggest shopping day of the year in the u.s., but some stores in canada also offered their own door buster deals. and i was watching the news, and it made me realize how different our two countries are. look at this store in the u.s. on friday. [ shouting ] >> jimmy: all right. that's -- yeah. in canada. [ applause ] [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: single file, people are clapping. >> steve: even the employees are applauding. >> jimmy: later, two people fought over a big screen tv saying, "you take it!" "no, you saw it first." "no, you take it.

>> steve: one word. one word only. >> jimmy: yep. >> steve: one word. [ laughter ] >> just one. >> jimmy: i know, i know, i know, i know. mamba. >> charo. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: charo. natalie. >> okay. chip. [ laughter ] remember his? >> skip. >> steve: oh, almost. [ laughter ] >> brooklyn is on the line. >> jimmy: guacamole. >> salad. >> steve: oh, unbelievable. that was for three points. natalie, your -- your turn. not salad. >> okay. yeah. meringue. >> salsa. [ cheers and applause ] >> should've guessed [ inaudible ]. >> pal, we don't get any points -- >> jimmy: no, we don't get half a point. j.j. jimmy. >> the password is -- >> steve: j.j., you're up first. >> jimmy: j.j. is up first. >> steve: j.j. is up first. >> this is tough. [ light laughter ] >> oh, no. okay. >> can i have like 20 minutes? okay, here we go. last. >> dingle. >> can i use salad again? [ laughter ] can i get a different word? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you can't get a a different word. >> scratch. oh, that's a good one. track. >> wha

>> steve: oh! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> steve: come on. >> jimmy: be sure to tune in for that. plus, we have michael shannon and miranda lambert will be joining us. it's a big show. [ cheers and applause ] then on friday, we have megyn kelly. she and i are playing a game of "box of lies." >> steve: ooh! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: but first, we have a a fantastic show tonight. he stars in the upcoming new hbo series, "the young pope." he's fantastic, i love that dude. >> steve: love him. >> jimmy: jude law is here ladies and gentlemen! >> steve: come on! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: he knows how to do it. >> steve: come on! >> jimmy: speaking of knows how to do it. from the number one new show of the season "this is us," sterling k. brown is stopping by! [ cheers and applause ] plays chris -- chris darden. and we got great new music from macklemore -- >> steve: yeah! >> jimmy: featuring ariana deboo! [ cheers and applause ] big show tonight. and the last two nights i've

>> steve: yeah! >> jimmy: that's proof. >> steve: come on! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: watching that is how i want the feel always. [ laughter ] can we have a split screen? let me see that again. ?? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tariq, tariq! give it a try! give it a try! [ cheers and applause ] ?? higgins! higgins, give it a shot! higgins! [ cheers and applause ] ?? we have a great show, everybody! give it up for the roots! [ cheers and applause ] ?? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: whoa! thank you! [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: come on! >> jimmy: it has been a great week so far. there is more ahead. tomorrow night, jeremy renner will be dropping by our show. >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have something fun planned with him. be sure to tune in for that. plus, michelle dockery and magic from david blaine. >> steve: oh! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm excited about david blaine, because i -- it's i haven't been told what he's going to do. i'm not allowed to know what he's going to do. >> steve: he's

>> steve: yeah! >> jimmy: that's proof. >> steve: come on! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: watching that is how i want the feel always. [ laughter ] can we have a split screen? let me see that again. ? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tariq, tariq! give it a try! give it a try! [ cheers and applause ] ? higgins! higgins, give it a shot! higgins! [ cheers and applause ] ? we have a great show, everybody! give it up for the roots! [ cheers and applause ] ? ? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: whoa! >> steve: come on! >> jimmy: it has been a great week so far. there is more ahead. tomorrow night, jeremy renner will be dropping by our show. >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have something fun planned with him. be sure to tune in for that. plus, michelle dockery and magic from david blaine. >> steve: oh! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm excited about david blaine, because i -- it's total secrecy. i haven't been told what he's going to do. i'm not allowed to know what he's going to do. >> steve: he's just going to blow you

>> steve: no. >> jimmy: he's been doing it for three weeks now. [ laughter ] >> steve: he's been doing it for, like, six years. >> jimmy: six years. >> steve: yeah. [ applause ] >> jimmy: six years, the longest running mannequin challenge. >> steve: yeah, he's been getting it done. he's the one who started it. [ laughter ] he forgot to put a tie on it. ?? >> jimmy: thank you, "trolls" balloon at the macy's thanksgiving day parade for being the second biggest troll filled with hot air in new york city. there you go. >> steve: hey-oh! [ jersey accents ] >> jimmy: "not today! jimmy, not today!" >> steve: "hey, hey, hey!" >> jimmy: "hey, whoa, whoa, whoa!" >> steve: "i forgot about it." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: "no, i mean forget about it." >> steve: "hey." >> jimmy: "no." ?? >> jimmy: thank you, pilgrims, for dressing like tim gunn handed you a bunch of belt buckles and said, "make it work." [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: a hat with a buckle. >> jimmy: a hat with a buckle, man. >> steve: buckle it

what she says about steve bannon. >> i worked very closely with steve bannon. he has been the general of this campaign. honestly, people should look at the full resume. he has a harvard business degree. he's a naval officer. success in entertainment. i don't know if you are aware of that. and he was a goldman sachs managing partner. i'm personally offended you think i would manage a campaign where that would be one of the philosophies. it was not. >> i heard several trump surrogates on the air today almost in the exact order she said it. do you think donald trump is being tone deaf to millions of americans who are fearful about a trump presidency because of someone like steve bannon? >> i don't think trump cares at all about those people. the paradigm that steve and trump view the world through, they won the election, and the onus is on everyone else to adapt to how they think. not to them to evolve or change based on the enormity of the being the president of the united states and the cochief of staff. i think they think everyone else needs to come around, the

>> steve: one word. one word only. >> jimmy: yep. >> steve: one word. [ laughter ] >> just one. >> jimmy: i know, i know, i know, i know. mamba. >> charo. [ laughter ] natalie. >> okay. chip. [ laughter ] remember his? >> skip. >> steve: oh, almost. [ laughter ] >> brooklyn is on the line. >> jimmy: guacamole. >> salad. >> steve: oh, unbelievable. that was for three points. natalie, your -- your turn. not salad. >> okay. yeah. meringue. >> salsa. [ cheers and applause ] >> should've guessed [ inaudible ]. >> pal, we don't get any points -- >> jimmy: no, we don't get half a point. >> steve: neil. jimmy. >> the password is -- >> steve: j.j., you're up first. >> jimmy: j.j. is up first. >> steve: j.j. is up first. >> this is tough. [ light laughter ] >> oh, no. okay. >> can i have like 20 minutes? okay, here we go. last. >> dingle. >> can i use salad again? [ laughter ] can i get a different word? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you can't get a a different word. >> scratch. oh, that's a good one. track. >> what? [ l

steve: sure and now. at the end of the day, i have the comfort of knowing that what i did, and feeling good about myself and everything else does not matter. emily: where did he want to take the company? steve: there is a disagreement about how important it was to be in the hardware business. the board was reluctant and supporting it. things came to a climax about what to do on the phone business. emily: he said, missing the mobile phone was one of the biggest mistakes in microsoft history. what would you have done differently? steve: i would have moved into the hardware business faster and recognize that what we had in the pc, a separation of chips, systems, and software, was not largely going to reproduce itself in the mobile world. i wish i had thought about the model of subsidizing phones through the operators. you like to point to this ring where i said iphones would never sell. that was because the price is $700 was too high. we should have been in the hardware business sooner, and we were still suf

. >> steve: right? >> jimmy: a subtle hint, a a subtle hint for christmas. >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: things have been pretty tense, though, but with trump winning the election, the stock market has been going up and down a lot lately. let's see exactly if we can figure out why this is happening. for example, the market went up when trump met with president obama. the market went down when trump asked obama to change the it's easier to remember. later, the market went down when trump announced he's getting rid of obamacare. the market went up when trump simply assured everyone that he replaced it with "something terrific." [ laughter and applause ] and finally, the market went up when donald trump flew to washington, d.c. on his own plane. the market went down when trump made the pilot land in the hudson river to see if sully was real or not. [ laughter and applause ] of course, it was real! what are you talking about? the red holiday cups are coming back this year, and will have 13 different designs. >>

>> steve: oh, oh! >> jimmy: whoa, whoa, whoa! >> steve: hey-oh! >> jimmy: whoa, hey! >> steve: hey! [ jersey accents ] >> jimmy: on thanksgiving. don't do it on thanksgiving. hey, jimmy! [ laughter ] >> steve: dvd! >> jimmy: jimmy, come on. this is for you. it's for you. take this. [ laughter ] meanwhile i read that donald trump and his family spent thanksgiving at his mar-a- lago resort in palm beach, florida. marking the only thanksgiving dinner where you are actually allowed to bring up donald trump. [ laughter and applause ] i guess trump really loves thanksgiving because it's the one day a year he can talk about legs, thighs and breasts without getting in trouble. [ cheers and applause ] so, it's perfect. >> steve: oh! hey, hey! whoa! oh! >> jimmy: i saw that snoop dogg just posted a 30-minute video of himself smoking weed, eating turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, and pumpkin pie. [ light laughter ] yeah. asked if he was having a good thanksgiving, snoop said, "it's thanksgiving?" [ laughter and applause ] "oh, that's inre happy thanksgiving." and, finally listen to this. a do

>> steve: oh, god. hey-oh! ♪ there we go. >> jimmy: it's a used copy. no, no, no it's nice. it's actually, someone wrote on the inside in pen. >> steve: oh. >> jimmy: "to christy and david, a souvenir of your winter vacation from grandma." [ laughter ] [ applause ] "horny." there it is. [ applause ] isn't that sweet? >> steve: don't sit on the kids. >> jimmy: isn't that sweet? next up is one of those word circle books and i swear i didn't make this one up here. this is real. "jimmy fallon facts -- a word search puzzle book, 104 pages of big puzzles and facts." someone actually made this. and i'm -- i'm looking at it. >> steve: it's about you? >> jimmy: it's all facts about me. [ talking over each other ] career at "saturday night live," weekend update with tina fey. made cameos. >> steve: wow. [ light laughter ] you seem really over the moon -- >> jimmy: the leather man's in here. >> steve: what up? what is? >> jimmy: the leather man. [ light laughter ] i had an album out called "blow your pants off."

>> steve: yeah! >> jimmy: that's proof. >> steve: come on! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: watching that is how i want the feel always. [ laughter ] can we have a split screen? let me see that again. ?? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tariq, tariq! give it a try! give it a try! [ cheers and applause ] ?? higgins! higgins, give it a shot! higgins! [ cheers and applause ] ?? we have a great show, everybody! give it up for the roots! [ cheers and applause ] ?? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: whoa! thank you! [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: come on! >> jimmy: it has been a great week so far. there is more ahead. tomorrow night, jeremy renner will be dropping by our show. >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have something fun planned with him. be sure to tune in for that. plus, michelle dockery and magic from david blaine. >> steve: oh! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm excited about david blaine, because i -- it's total sey. going to do. i'm not allowed to know what he's going to do. >> steve: he's just going to blow

>> steve: totino's. >> steve: totino's? >> jimmy: oh, we should call it toastino's. >> steve: you did? >> jimmy: well, if you make it in the toaster oven. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: where do you make your pizza rolls? >> steve: anything i make in the toaster oven are called toastino's'. >> jimmy: is that the only pizza -- did they corner the pizza roll business? >> steve: yeah, i think so. they are the kings of pizza roll. talk about your michael jordans of pizza rolls. >> jimmy: totino's pizza rolls. isn't there another one? didn't la choy? >> steve: gino's maybe? >> jimmy: maybe those tiny egg rolls? who? >> audience: elio's? >> jimmy: elio's? they make pizza rolls? >> questlove: no. >> steve: no. [ laughter and applause ] questlove says no. he should know. >> questlove: it's my next book, "pizza rolls." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: let's see you do the pizza roll. ? let me see that pizza roll? ? let me see that pizza roll? [ laughter and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] ? babylon ? >> steve: hey! >> jimmy: it's a remix. [ laught

>> steve: hey! >> jimmy: it's a remix. [ laughter ] next up, we have a photo of mike pence and nancy pelosi. this one's called #tinderfail. [ applause ] >> steve: dang! oopsie. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: here's a photo of, lady gaga. her meme says, "when you crush that eye exam." it's like -- [ laughter ] and finally, we have kim jong-un. [ audience ohs ] take a look at this photo. his meme says, "ermahgerd, check out my bernerculers." [ applause ] that was "this week in memes." we'll be right back with more of "the tonight show," everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ? (laughs..) here it is. ? ? hey dad! ? wishes do come true. the lincoln wish list sales event is on. get exceptional offers on the lincoln family of luxury vehicles. sign and drive off in a new 2017 lincoln mkc with zero down and a complimentary first month's payment. ? olive garden now offers catering delivery we make the food and deliver it to your door so you can enjoy what's important ? we sent two women into a real guys night out to see

. >> steve: schnitzgabai? >> jimmy: gabai? >> steve: gabai? >> jimmy: goodbye! >> steve: goodbye! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: schnitz, goodbye! >> steve: hey, schnitz, bye! >> jimmy: schnitz, goodbye! >> steve: immodium, a.d. >> jimmy: it's not that. it's, like, what heidi klum says at the reality show. if you lose, she goes, "schnitz, goodbye." and that's it. [ laughter ] but that's different. this is different. >> steve: okay. >> jimmy: this is different. this is -- >> steve: i thought it was like an anti-diarrhea medicine. >> jimmy: schnitz, goodbye. schnitzgabai? "dude, i'll have the schnitzgabai!" >> steve: "look at my new t-shirt, dude!" >> jimmy: "how about the chicken schnitzgabai?" >> steve: "dude!" >> jimmy: "dude!" [ laughter ] schnitz says, "in all driver's licenses, the description of eye color will be permanently changed to red." now that's -- [ applause ] everyone has red eyes. "he's six foot tall. he has red eyes. he's half closed." this last one is from @kingbeyhive. beehive. he says, "there should be a separate line at fast food places for the 'i just smoked, so this

>> steve: old buddy of mine. old buddy of mine. >> jimmy: jimmy, i love so many things about the fall. it's hard to keep track of them. could you put them all into one song? well, i don't think i can do that, but i know someone who can. ?? ? last summer was a scorcher it went on forever it was torture but autumn is the time to ? ? support your local farms by going apple picking at the orchard we can pose for ? ? the holiday portraits with the scarecrows hangin' at the doorstep getting chilly out ? ? keep your door shut tight wear a sweater and boot when you go outside wife thirsty for ? ? something nice i say lattes with the pumpkin spice i'd rather do that than ? ? look all lame with muddle outside i mean it's almost ? ? thanksgiving again word side dish stuffing in a ? ? dead bird pull it from the oven and it gets served if i take a nap ? ? don't get scared because -- [ unintelligble ] it was halloween then i wake up in the ? ? morning it was all a dream and jimmy making fun of me i'm human and it's ? ? only on

>> steve: yeah! >> jimmy: that's proof. >> steve: come on! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: watching that is how i want the feel always. [ laughter ] can we have a split screen? let me see that again. ? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tariq, tariq! give it a try! give it a try! [ cheers and applause ] ? higgins! higgins, give it a shot! higgins! [ cheers and applause ] ? we have a great show, everybody! give it up for the roots! [ cheers and applause ] ? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: whoa! thank you! [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: come on! >> jimmy: it has been a great week so far. there is more ahead. tomorrow night, jeremy renner will be dropping by our show. >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have something fun planned with him. be sure to tune in for that. plus, michelle dockery and magic from david blaine. >> steve: oh! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm excited about david blaine, because i -- it's i haven't been told what he's going to do. i'm not allowed to know what he's going to do. >> steve: he's just

steve: sure and no. i have the comfort of knowing what i did, feeling good about myself and everything else doesn't really matter. toly: where did you want take the company and where did he want to take the company? steve: i think is a fundamental disagreement about how to be in the product business. i pushed for the surface and he was reluctant. then it came to what to do about the phone business. said: satya nadella recently on stage that missing the mobile phone was one of the big mistakes in microsoft's history. what would you have done? steve: i would have moved into the hardware business faster. what we had in the pc where there is a separation of chips, systems and software was not going to largely reproduce it else in the mobile world. i wish i had thought about the model of subsidizing phones through the operators. point to theo quote where i said the iphone would never sell because $700 was too high and there was business model innovation by apple to get it built into the monthly cell phone bil

he's already -- already in the car. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, he's out. >> steve: the clapper. >> jimmy: some celebrity news. ricky martin announced that he is engaged to his boyfriend, who happens to be sy. yeah, that's right. ricky got down on one knee and said, "will you help me make donald trump's head explode?" [ laughter and applause ] meanwhile, carrie fisher said that she went public with her affair with harrison ford because she felt like she waited an appropriate amount of time. [ laughter ] specifically, she said it was a a long time ago in a winnebago far, far away. and you go, all right, that's tmi. i'm not sure what to make of this, guys. there's a new workout where people -- have you heard of this? people crawl like a baby. [ light laughter ] it's a new thing, yes, because it strengthens your core while working your shoulders and hips. [ light laughter ] yeah, in response, babies were like, "have you seen our bodies?" [ laughter ] wrists don't normally have dimples. but, i'm just saying. you want us to be -- well, this seems kind of silly. a man is suing krispy k

>> steve: oh, god. hey-oh! ?? there we go. >> jimmy: it's a used copy. no, no, no it's nice. it's actually, som the inside in pen. >> steve: oh. >> jimmy: "to christy and david, a souvenir of your winter vacation from grandma." [ laughter ] [ applause ] "horny." there it is. [ applause ] isn't that sweet? >> steve: don't sit on the kids. >> jimmy: isn't that sweet? next up is one of those word circle books and i swear i didn't make this one up here. this is real. "jimmy fallon facts -- a word search puzzle book, 104 pages of big puzzles and facts." someone actually made this. and i'm -- i'm looking at it. >> steve: it's about you? >> jimmy: it's all facts about career at "saturday night live," weekend update with tina fey. made cameos. >> steve: wow. [ light laughter ] you seem really over the moon -- >> jimmy: the leather man's in here. >> steve: what up? what is? >> jimmy: the leather man. [ light laughter ] i had an album out called "blow your pants off." that's true. i did, i did. it was grammy-awar

>> steve: totino's. >> jimmy: toastino's? >> steve: totino's? >> steve: you did? >> jimmy: well, if you make it in the toaster oven. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: where do you make your pizza rolls? >> steve: anything i make in the toaster oven are called toastino's'. >> jimmy: is that the only pizza -- did they corner the pizza roll business? >> steve: yeah, i think so. they are the kings of pizza roll. talk about your michael jordans of pizza rolls. >> jimmy: totino's pizza rolls. isn't there another one? didn't la choy? >> steve: gino's maybe? >> jimmy: maybe those tiny egg rolls? who? >> audience: elio's? >> jimmy: elio's? they make pizza rolls? >> questlove: no. >> steve: no. [ laughter and applause ] questlove says no. >> jimmy: did he mean, no? >> steve: he's writing a book [ laughter ] >> jimmy: let's see you do the pizza roll. ? let me see that pizza roll? ? let me see that pizza roll? [ laughter and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] ? babylon ? >> steve: hey! >> jimmy: it's a remix. [ laughter ] next up, we have a photo of mike pence and nancy pelosi. this one

>> steve: yeah! [ applause ] >> jimmy: i celebrate every year. i celebrate it the same, every year. >> steve: love it. love it! >> jimmy: oh, listen to this. so, experts are warning shoppers to check the spelling of websites on cyber monday because there are lookalike a slight misspelling of a a store's name. yep, they said if you want more info on this, just look it up on goggle. [ applause ] goggle should have it. black friday was the biggest shopping day of the year in the u.s., but some stores in canada also offered their own door buster deals. and i was watching the news, and it made me realize how different our two countries are. look at this store in the u.s. on friday. >> jimmy: all right. that's -- yeah. yeah, okay. [ laughter ] now take a look at black friday in canada. [ applause ] [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: single file, people are clapping. >> steve: even the employees are applauding. >> jimmy: later, two people fought over a big screen tv saying, "you take it!" "no, you saw it f

>> steve: oh! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> steve: come on. >> jimmy: be sure to tune in for that. plus, we have michael shannon and miranda lambert will be joining us. it's a big show. [ cheers and applause ] then on friday, we have megyn kelly. she and i are playing a game of "box of lies." >> steve: ooh! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: but first, we have a a fantastic show tonight. he stars in the upcoming new hbo series, "the young pope." he's fantastic, i love that dude. >> steve: love him. >> jimmy: jude law is here ladies and gentlemen! >> steve: come on! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: he knows how to do it. >> steve: come on! >> jimmy: speaking of knows how to do it. from the number one new show of the season "this is us," sterling k. brown is stopping by! [ cheers and applause ] plays chris -- chris darden. and we got great new music from macklemore -- >> steve: yeah! >> jimmy: featuring ariana deboo! [ cheers and applause ] big show tonight. i can't get this out of my he

>> steve: oh, god. hey-oh! ?? there we go. >> jimmy: it's a used copy. no, no, no it's nice. it's actually, someone wroten >> steve: oh. >> jimmy: "to christy and david, a souvenir of your winter vacation from grandma." [ laughter ] [ applause ] "horny." there it is. [ applause ] isn't that sweet? >> steve: don't sit on the kids. >> jimmy: isn't that sweet? next up is one of those word circle books and i swear i didn't make this one up here. this is real. "jimmy fallon facts -- a word search puzzle book, 104 pages of big puzzles and facts." someone actually made this. and i'm -- i'm looking at it. >> steve: it's about you? >> jimmy: it's all facts about me. career at "saturday night live," weekend update with tina fey. made cameos. >> steve: wow. [ light laughter ] you seem really over the moon -- >> jimmy: the leather man's in here. >> steve: what up? what is? >> jimmy: the leather man. [ light laughter ] i had an album out called "blow your pants off." that's true. i did, i did. it was grammy-award wi

it could be anything. >> steve: could be anything. >> jimmy: could it be, "i love you more." >> steve: sure. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: it could be, "i'm not your mother." [ audience oohs ] yeah. >> steve: wow. mind blown. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: "this place doesn't exist." [ light laughter ] >> steve: what? >> jimmy: and it's a snow globe. the whole thing's been a dream someone holding a snow globe, camera pans out. [ applause ] they go on to win an emmy award. >> steve: you don't know. yeah, you don't know. >> jimmy: yeah, i don't know. guys, welcome back to "the tonight show." it is time for bad signs. here we go. ?? [ applause ] >> jimmy: that sounds like something familiar. yeah, i like it. yeah, that was the theme from "gilmore girls." [ light laughter ] it is not. who is my invisible five. >> steve: oh. >> jimmy: yeah, and her daughter, because her daughter sings on the thing. on the opening thing. ?? ? if you're out on the road feeling lonely and so cold all you have to do is ? ? call my name and i'll be there on the next train ? if you -- that's it. that's all i got. [

>> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: he has a big, new movie called "rules don't apply," and a bunch of amazing stories. we'll be talking to him. film "moonlight," naomie harris is dropping in. [ cheers and applause ] also, joining us tonight, he is a legendry musician who just released a new memoir, called "testimony." robbie robertson is here tonight! >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: that's my man! the band! he's the best. he's the best. also, performing his hit single "caroline," we have music from amine, everybody. yeah. [ cheers and applause ] amine. yesterday, we had a fun show. i did a -- i did the muff of truth with andy cohen and, you know, like a muff where you heat your hands. so, we had -- [ laughter ] so we had our hands -- >> steve: yeah, sure. >> jimmy: it's called the muff of truth, you put your hands in the muff. and you shake each other's hands. >> steve: okay. >> jimmy: and things heat up and you have to just make a a confession of something that you w