>> greg: no. he's in the closet with lying. >> bob: there is not a presidential candidate that became president that you couldn't get somebody on the campaign trail and put it up on the air and say he didn't do ma he said he would do. granted, i think obama overspoke that. he shouldn't have said what he said. in the course of the campaign, people say that. every president does. every president could be open to this. i think frankly he has done less of it than others have. i give him credit for that. >> kimberly: you brought up something moments ago that was important. you talk about the president and the campaign promises. he said recently about what he has done and the percentage of the campaign promises he has fulfilled. take a look at it after this. >> i keep a checklist in my drawer of my campaign promis promises. once a week i take it out, make a little check. we've got about 60% done so far. in three years. i need another five to get the other 40% done. >> greg: he is not that far off. he on

let's reroute greg to fresno. growing businesses use machine-to-machine technology from verizon wireless. susie ! the nding machine... already filled. cool bike. because the busine with the best technologyules. >> kimberly: welcome back to "the five." battle is brewing in florida over your right to flash your car headlights in 2009, florida man was pull over and ticketed by the highway patrol for flashing his lights. that man filed a class action lawsuit saying the first amendment rights were violated because blinking your high beams is a form of free speech. no, i am not making this up. this is a real story. >> bob: this is right. the cops that pull you over if you flash your lights, too bad. if there is a speed trap and let someone know about it, fine. they're flashing a light to say there were deer on the road. how do the cops know that? the cops have too much power. >> greg: this is not freedom of speech. this is activity and action. i hate when they take freedom of speech and cover everything with it. >> bob:

former editor in chief. >> greg: i could be wrong. >> dana: i think ron paul -- >> greg: i thought he was great! >> bob: i say non-existent in terms of having a chance to get the nomination. the numbers, keep this in mind about the presidential politics what they don't show you is how much debt they are in. some of them -- there are no report, believe me when i tell you, you hide half of your debt. >> eric: it shows where you are getting it from, too. >> kimberly: like solyndra. >> bob: but i'm saying you play with the numbers all you want. >> eric: this is important about romney no debt. perry, $300,000 of the $15 million. low debt. >> bob: i'm saying that what you do when you get up to the quarter of these things and file it with the sec, every contract you put together you have it dated november 1 or 2. >> kimberly: show more cash on hand. >> bob: of course. all about the cash on hand. that's the way you play the game. the fact is there are two guys that dominate this. >> kimberly: we'll respectfully disagree on that. herman cain is still in it. >> bob: you are doing your best to k

>> greg: yeah. "q" or "g "g." >> eric: gitmo, you bring in a detainee. >> bob: you're bringing this back to obama? >> eric: of course. you have gitmo and they go through a military trial and found guilty and process. >> dana: they never went through it. >> eric: okay, that is just too harsh. terrible because waterboarding but this is shift justice. drone, baby, drone. .9-millimeters in the street of tripoli and that's okay. >> bob: hussein tried by group of his peers? >> eric: he absolutely was. was he not? >> dana: the thing about hussein and dictators, they no peers. they hold themselves above all others and rule with iron fist. sometimes one said find nelson mandela of iraq and get it said. he said because mandela is dead. everybody is like did he die? but he meant anyone who would have been a peace-maker or considered a peer had been killed along the way. egypt example is good one. institution trusted the most in egypt was the military. is the military going to allow for democratic rule? the big

sorry, greg. >> greg: sorry, i was daydreaming. just like america. here is the thing, we started off saying that obama's approval rating was lowest at 41%. there is only one elected president that was lower. president brad fitzmiln. no one has heard of him. because it was that low. >> bob: wow! that is really good. your political history is staggering. thought about being a political scientist? 41% now. it should be 41%. i'm surprised it's not lower but it will be higher next year. >> eric: coming up, we have a 2012 round-up and look ahead to the important iowa caucus information news. that's next on "the five." also, don't forget to e-mail us. thefive@foxnews.com. we'll be right back. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> bob: yeah, man. by the way, donald trump sent out a tweet saying i should be fired here. but guess what, donald? i've now moved up to the "b" block, man, since you tweeted. keep it up, will you? i happen to like you. you don't have to be so thin-skinned about it. you're a decent guy. welcome back to "the five." we have a bunch of 2012 news to talk ab

>> greg: no. he's in the closet with lying. >> bob: there is not a presidential candidate that became president that you couldn't get somebody on the campaign trail and put it up on the air and say he didn't do ma he said he would do. granted, i think obama overspoke that. he shouldn't have said what he said. in the course of the campaign, people say that. every president does. every president could be open to this. i think frankly he has done less of it than others have. i give him credit for that. >> kimberly: you brought up something moments ago that was important. you talk about the president and the campaign promises. he said recently about what he has done and the percentage of the campaign promises he has fulfilled. take a look at it after this. >> i keep a checklist in my drawer of my campaign promis promises. once a week i take it out, make a little check. we've got about 60% done so far. in three years. i need another five to get the other 40% done. >> greg: he is not that far off. he on

. >> greg: here is the problem. i like the old name. the original name was the real american jobs act. that was a stab at "american idol" jobs act. like starting show at 5:00 on the other channel and calling it "the real five." >> dana: the so-called five. >> greg: they chickened out. >> dana: one other thing happening here that is interesting, the democrats are talking about teachers. they came up with a stimulus bill in 2009 and a recovery act they said it would prevent layoff of teachers. last ago, $26 billion for state aid because they would prevent a layoff of teachers. now after two years of the policy, they are saying that the teachers are laid off in droves. they have done polling fiend cuss group testing and said teachers, that's what we should talk about. >> bob: the teachers salary that the stimulus bill helped ran out, ran out and they need money to do it. one thing about the republicans. they are coming after the epa. they are mind dead and they come out after the clean act water every year and try to amend it. >> eric: so

agree with -- >> you meaner rick. >> greg: i'm greg. i'm the little guy. >> bob: i said giving loans to people who cannot afford them, minorities, whoever they are is discrimination. and you immediately cut me off. you agree with me, right? >> eric: that is not what you said. giving loans to people who can't afford them and bundling them up the road -- >> greg: it's discrimination if you don't do it and it's discrimination if you do, do it. >> kimberly: you can't win. >> andrea: it's not stupid. >> bob: it's not just against black people or brown people. i'll be careful here. against people who qualify to have loans. if bankers knew they wouldn't pay the bills -- >> eric: you're right up until that point. right there, you are right. the problem, kimberly, bankers were told push the loans out the door. b. because they could sell them upstream. >> kimberly: there is a sense of what about personal responsibility? why is it everybody else's fault. you have to understand if you know your money and you know your finances and you know you're i

he ain't. >> greg: you

sorry, greg. >> greg: sorry, i was daydreaming. just like america. here is the thing, we started off saying that obama's approval rating was lowest at 41%. there is only one elected president that was lower. president brad fitzmiln. no one has heard of him. because it was that low. >> bob: wow! that is really good. your political history is staggering. thought about being a political scientist? 41% now. it should be 41%. i'm surprised it's not lower but it will be higher next year. >> eric: coming up, we have a 2012 round-up and look ahead to the important iowa caucus information news. that's next on "the five." also, don't forget to e-mail us. thefive@foxnews.com. we'll be right back. ♪ ♪ i'm phil mickelson, pro golfer. if you have painful, swollen joints, i've been in your shoes. one day i'm on p of the world... the next i'm saying... i have this thing called psoriatic arthritis. i had some intense pain. it progressively got worse. my rheumatologist told me about enbrel. i'm surprid how quickly my symoms have beemanaged. [ male announcer ] beca

right, greg? >> greg: you are right. we've had 5,000 years of human civilization. so we didn't have to run 27 miles. >> dana: 26.2. >> greg: what are we doing? what a waste of time. i salute him. >> juan: is guy is 100? district lighten up. >> dana: eight hours to get it done. 5'8", 115 pounds. this is amazing to me. a vegetarian. i don't know how you have enough energy. >>

let's do it. >> bob: you have to get out of here, greg. >> greg: next on the "the five." shred the constitution. a judge rules american courts can use islamic law instead. also, don't forget to e-mail us at thefive@foxnews.com. send me pictures of your cat. ♪ ♪ the postal service is critical to our economy-- delivering mail, medicine and packages. yet they're closing thousands of offices, slashing service, and want to lay off over 100,000 workers. the postal service is recording financial losses, but not for reasons you might think. the problem ? a burden no other agency or company bears. a 2006 law that drains 5 billion a year from post-office revenue while the postal service is forced to overpay billions more into federal accounts. congress created this problem, and congress can fix it. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> eric: welcome back to "the five." yet, another example of america bending over backwards to be inclusive. a florida appeals court cleared the way for lawsuit over a monetary dispute at a mosque to be determined by islamic shariah law. in a u.s. court, not the first

let's do it. >> bob: you have to get out of here, greg. >> greg: next on the "the five." shred the constitution. a judge rules american courts can use islamic law instead. also, don't forget to e-mail us at thefive@foxnews.com. send me pictures of your cat. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> eric: welcome back to "the five." yet, another example of america bending over backwards to be inclusive. a florida appeals court cleared the way for lawsuit over a monetary dispute at a mosque to be determined by islamic shariah law. in a u.s. court, not the first time but why is it happening at all? kimberly, the legal eagle here. shariah law shouldn't -- >> kimberly: you know my opinion on this, right? >> eric: i don't. >> kimberly: i think it's serious and should not be allowed at all. it should frighten people that it's acceptable that a judge says okay, you can use it. it's not the law of the united states. so what is the legal authority for allowing shariah law implemented in the court system? wake up, we have the u.s. constitution, those are the laws we're governed by. not shariah law

of -- >> greg: a lot of things. i want to talk about greater together. the obama youth vote plan. greater together. it sounds like a match.com commercial. joom just launched. >> greg: young voters and obama have a lot in common. that he mirror assumption of high school sophomore that everything you want can be paid for by somebody else. this is a unicorn in every pie. >> bob: don't jump on match.com. i'm going to try it. >> greg: but you lie on the profile. >> bob: true. >> andrea: he didn't stay in touch with the digital army he had when he came in office. people were logging on and following the tweet, all excited. now if you look at the number -- >> dana: the enthusiasm numbers are way down. i think the only way they can try to motivate them is by fear. fear that republicans will be in charge of the congress as well as the white house. what will it mean then for all sort of things? fear cam tain. >> bob: a democratic pollster, one of my dearest friends and one of the strangest. he said enthusiasm gap for obama wa

>> greg: never mind. weren't you listening? >> kimberly: 100%. scary. >> greg: wow! >> bob: serious thing to say about this. are you going to ask a question? >> greg: ask you a question. it's weird herbal remedies, people like them if you are dealing with harmless headaches. things like this. even if they don't work. for example, the headache is going to go away anyway. but you say, that helped. that is not with cancer. >> bob: no, not with cancer. more people ripped off by more different quacks as you pointed out. we have to make a distinction there is some legitimate alternative medicines that have been around for a long time. st. john's wort is proven help against depression. steve mcqueen, if you remember mcqueen, he had stomach cancer and went to mexico for series of treatments and it kled him this story about jobs is true, it's another indictment to allow the stuff be advertise, beginning with the fact you can stop them from advertising. if it's not truth in lending. it's not. >> eric: absolutely right. especially with cancer. especially with pan creatic cancer

>> greg: never mind. weren't you listening? >> kimberly: 100%. scary. >> greg: wow! >> bob: serious thing to say about this. are you going to ask a question? >> greg: ask you a question. it's weird herbal remedies, people like them if you are dealing with harmless headaches. things like this. even if they don't work. for example, the headache is going to go away anyway. but you say, that helped. that is not with cancer. >> bob: no, not with cancer. more people ripped off by more different quacks as you pointed out. we have to make a distinction there is some legitimate alternative medicines that have been around for a long time. st. john's wort is proven help against depression. steve mcqueen, if you remember mcqueen, he had stomach cancer and went to mexico for series of treatments and it killed him this story about jobs is true, it's another indictment to allow the stuff be advertise, beginning with the fact you can stop them from advertising. if it's not truth in lending. it's not. >> eric: absolutely right. especially with cancer. especially with pan creatic canc

>> greg: never mind. weren't you listening? >> kimberly: 100%. scary. >> greg: wow! >> bob: serious thing to say about this. are you going to ask a question? >> greg: ask you a question. it's weird herbal remedies, people like them if you are dealing with harmless headaches. things like this. even if they don't work. for example, the headache is going to go away anyway. but you say, that helped. that is not with cancer. >> bob: no, not with cancer. more people ripped off by more different quacks as you pointed out. we have to make a distinction there is some legitimate alternative medicines that have been around for a long time. st. john's wort is proven help against depression. steve mcqueen, if you remember mcqueen, he had stomach cancer and went to mexico for series of treatments and it killed him this story about jobs is true, it's another indictment to allow the stuff be advertise, beginning with the fact you can stop them from advertising. if it's not truth in lending. it's not. >> eric: absolutely right. especially with cancer. especially with pan creatic canc

>> greg: no. he's in the closet with lying. >> bob: there is not a presidential candidate that became president that you couldn't get somebody on the campaign trail and put it up on the air and say he didn't do ma he said he would do. granted, i think obama overspoke that. he shouldn't have said what he said. in the course of the campaign, people say that. every president does. every president could be open to this. i think frankly he has done less of it than others have. i give him credit for that. >> kimberly: you brought up something moments ago that was important. you talk about the president and the campaign promises. he said recently about what he has done and the percentage of the campaign promises he has fulfilled. take a look at it after this. >> i keep a checklist in my drawer of my campaign promis promises. once a week i take it out, make a little check. we've got about 60% done so far. in three years. i need another five to get the other 40% done. >> greg: he is not that far off. he on

>> greg: never mind. weren't you listening? >> kimberly: 100%. scary. >> greg: wow! >> bob: serious thing to say about this. are you going to ask a question? >> greg: ask you a question. it's weird herbal remedies, people like them if you are dealing with harmless headaches. things like this. even if they don't work. for example, the headache is going to go away anyway. but you say, that helped. that is not with cancer. >> bob: no, not with cancer. more people ripped off by more different quacks as you pointed out. we have to make a distinction there is some legitimate alternative medicines that have been around for a long time. st. john's wort is proven help against depression. steve mcqueen, if you remember mcqueen, he had stomach cancer and went to mexico for series of treatments and it killed him this story about jobs is true, it's another indictment to allow the stuff be advertise, beginning with the fact you can stop them from advertising. if it's not truth in lending. it's not. >> eric: absolutely right. especially with cancer. especially with pan creatic canc

>> greg: mary kay letournea letourneau. >> eric: right. >> andrea: had a child with him. >> greg: she is still married to that guy. >> bob: i study serial killers but a lot of them comes from the northwest. >> greg: are you going to blame an entire group of people? >> bob: i do. i know virtually all of them. a weird thing. i went up to the green river killer sites to look around years ago and i got hooked on it. anyway, we want to get out of here. >> andrea: and you had a french teacher. >> eric: college. please don't tell that story.

and you have one. >> greg: yes, i do. when i was doing my research on the bus tour, i recalled one of my favorite movies "weekend at bernie's." if you remember the plot, two guys carted around their dead boss pretending him to be alive, that way they wouldn't get killed when they found out their boss was dead because they were chased by the mob. this is the jobs bill. the jobs bill is the dead boss. president obama is wheeling him around the country, pretending it's alive. it's dead. >> bob: that is torture. no question about it. >> greg: that is a great metaphor. or a simile. >> monica: that is true and realistic. this is tied to grizzl grisly dn the senate. this is also from the democrats who don't want to vote for a monstrously expensive stimulus, what are we up to? stimulus three or four? now what they will do is break apart the jobs bill to different pieces. harry reid said he will go forward to try to introduce more stimulus for teachers, for infrastructure, for first responders. isn't that what the first $1 trillio

>> greg: mary kay letournea letourneau. >> eric: right. >> andrea: had a child with him. >> greg: she is still married to that guy. >> bob: i study serial killers but a lot of them comes from the northwest. >> greg: are you going to blame an entire group of people? >> bob: i do. i know virtually all of them. a weird thing. i went up to the green river killer sites to look around years ago and i got hooked on it. anyway, we want to get out of here. >> andrea: and you had a french teacher. >> eric: college. please don't tell that sry

right, greg? >> greg: you are right. we've had 5,000 years of human civilization. so we didn't have to run 27 miles. >> dana: 26.2. >> greg: what are we doing? what a waste of time. i salute him. >> juan: is guy is 100? district lighten up. >> dana: eight hours to get it done. 5'8", 115 pounds. this is amazing to me. a vegetarian. i don't know how you have enough energy. >> anda:

greg: this will be from 40 yards out. cundiff looking to tie the team record held by matt stover and cundiff himself with five field goals made in a single game. and it's good. so with 1:55 to play, baltimore extends its lead to 29-14. want to remind you tonight begins with scott pell li's eye-opening record on afghanistan on "60 minutes," followed by a new "amazing race," "the good wife," and "c.s.i.: miami" only on cbs. dan: well, greg, the texans' road trip continues as they go to tennessee next weekend. so another hostile environment in nashville as this team that just doesn't do very well on the road has to try to somehow beat a good team on the road. greg: and every time they think and every tame the fans think they've turned the corner, they come right back to that same corner. this is mcmahons deep. -- mcmanis deep. cundiff will do a retee. and he has made it a habit of driving it over through and beyond the end line of the end zone. dan: on question of the kickoff, does the fan going to catch that? i know we move

greg gumbel along with dan dierdorph. it will be seen in its entirity immediately following this game expect on the west coast. we are just under four minutes to play. kolb, touchdown. dan: cardinals have to go for two, i would think. greg: early doucet with the touchdown catch. and they will go for two. dan: yeah. that was just a lapse in the steelers coverage. kolb did a good job of identifying who was covered. that was made pretty easy. but you are down by 12. the magic chart says this is a go for two situation and try to make it a 10-point game. play fake. kolb looking and looking. ran out of time. throws it incomplete. dan: when it is a two-point conversion, throw it somewhere or maybe get lucky and someone can catch it in the field of play. nobody is go to catch it out of bounds. greg: you brought it up to kevin kolb. if there was anybody that would have used the extra work during the summer when the player lockout took place, it was the guys on this team. dan: that goes for every other team. that was a pretty good

greg, you never heard that song? >> no. >> i bet you can harm -- you ka can remember the song at the end of "sex and the city." >> god, i love that song. in 1994 i followed them on tour and all through the midwest. >> were they opening for fish? >> yes, it was fantastic. you i was a motley crew. >> were you? good for you. add adam, i kind of agree with you. williams saying president obama and joe biden are the real problem here? >> yes. >> on the other hand, adam, i don't think hank's brain was saying stop, stop. >> no. i think you are right. >> i really don't think he was. >> thanks for ensuring the show won't air over the weekend. >> my pleasure. we can watch it privately, right? >> absolutely. sure. bill, you mentioned tom brady's wind-swept locks. actually brady cut his stupid, long hair and has stupid short hair. >> the short locks. i prefer to think of brady in his hippie days. i think most america agrees with me. >> we are both padres. >> what? >> we both went to the same high school. >> i don't care. >> i jus

>> yes, greg. i want you to know that if fox news were the food network you would be paula dean. >> how is that? >> well, if you don't know, greg, i am not going to explain it to you. >> come on, joe. >> i am not here to spoon feed you. >> but i spoon feed you sometimes, joe. >> and that's why i call you paula dean. you are tiny, tan, hot. >> thank you, joe. while we are on the subject of cooking, i always look at you like you were -- >> ida garden. >> garlic. you are smelly, sticky, but sometimes the necessary ingredient. beat it you sad freak. >>> let's welcome our guest. i am here with diane ma -- macedo. and he has more gags than a kidnapper. it is dan soder. and it has been years since he:00 occupied a shower, bill schulz. and he is tougher than a thong made of sand paper. terry sapor fresh from sniper school. and he is never surprised when he is caught printing lies. good to see you, pinch. >> as pleased as i am by the heavy presence of "new york times" back issues that occupy wall street, i

greg? >> well done, my friend. >> thank you. >> didn't mean it. >> well. >>> should we appoint a tea peat counter point? those other dopes are unworthy copycats. yet tea partiers chafed at comparisons between their crowd and the wall street protesters. one leader saying, quote, i don't think it is the left answer to the tea party movement. and there are a lot of people there that don't support barack obama. they are unhappy people that don't know what they want. well, they seem to be growing by the day. now the anti-capitalist crowd has a gossip girl. she recently showed up at a protest. on the show he plays dan humphreys. anyway, also making an appearance, susan sarandon's son, tim robins who noted, quote, this is when an actual grassroots movement looks like. but not everyone is going on their own accord. a lefty organizer told the caller that he paid hispanics to occupy the bc protest. >> are you paying them? >> some are volunteers. some of them aren't. i can't identify them. >> [speakin

call me. >> you are a gentleman. >>> to the greg-alogue made with 100% greg with no fillers or additives or lies. so a 19-year-old student with a learning disability was allegedly raped at this weekend's occupy cleavland rally. right now a reporter call itself a she said without the he said. and he is right. but that's not what i want to talk about. i want to focus on how the media bends over backwards to protest the protest because they share their assumptions. here the reporter forwkyc, a local nbc affiliate tells us what the big question is. >> the big question, how much damage will this do to the work that's been done in the future of the occupation? >> no, the big question is where is the perp? the reporter managed to find someone who questions the motives of the victim. >> somebody probably brought her here and hanging out with her one day and just to say she was raped. >> you know he calls himself a feminist. the reporters hammer home the real point of this story. >> so again, the question, how much damage will this ugly allegation do? >> so this allegation does put a cloud over t

. ♪ >> greg: welcome to "red eye." i couldn't possibly be on my knees getting sick between cars on the "a" train in chelsea. mike baker, formerly of the ria, now the president of diligence of diligence garter belts. for all you garter bell needs, think diligent. we will probably kill you in your sleep. mike, what's coming up on tonight's show, old sport? >> funny you should mention that because glue spots actually represent about 12% of our revenues. we're expecting big things in q4. the graphics department for one has been busy since this morning putting together our signature crappy homemade charts. and the research staff is standing by to isolate and review any errors made by tonight's guests. the air is turning crisp and leaves are changing colors and it looks like fall's in full swing and that can only mean one thing that overly sensitive d-bags, you'll ask why we've all turned into such nancy's. this one involves public desecration, je genitalia. >> are men funnier that women? what kind of stupid ass question is

i'm greg gutfeld, live at 3:00 a.m. at headquarters, so obviously i am no that guy in the park asking for back rubs. andy, what is coming up on tonight's show? >> cool out, america. our top story tonight, occupy oakland calls for a city wide general strike. we will have the opposite of full team coverage straight ahead. and a new poll shows gun ownership among americans is at -- is at its highest rate in 20 years. something to think about, zombies. and something to think about when bill schulz visits the morbid museum. >> thank you, andy. >> happy plush animal lovers day, greg. >> what kind of sick things are you into, andy? >> i am not into sick things. animal lovers day is a day for people to enjoy and appreciate their stuffed animals. >> what did you think it was? >> oh. >> i was wrong, move on. >> come on. >> let it go. >> you thought it was some kind of furry thing, didn't you? >> he is quite the hair ball, andy. >> we were just friends, greg. >> whatever. >> jealous much? >> why would i be jealous? >> just because

>> that's greg. >> excellent job on everything. >> thank you. no one ever said that to me before. >> greg, i am getting riled up by wall street. so we will move on from that and go to drive. i want to confirm some quotes. gavin? >> yes. >> if you don't enjoy something, sue. did you say that? >> yes, anything. >> brooke -- >> it is a checklist. >> you are free to be a bigot in this country. >> correct. >> you did say that? >> yes. can i do this next time when andy is gone? i would be really good at it. >> would you be good at it? >> i would. >> greg, pete hammond, is he a film critic or is he not? >> i don't know, is he you? >> no. i am just trying to get the facts here. i am just trying to get things straight. >> are you supposed to find the facts and throw them in our faces. >> i am just trying to create a conversation here. there were actually no facts in that entire segment i watched. >> there was not a single fact that was made anywhere in the entirety of the first two segments. >> really? >> john, in your defense brooke cannot replace you.

. >> that's crazy, greg. cranky co worker days is an actual day. >> i'm sure it is, just as i'm sure you picked it for a reason. >> you are wrong, greg. i thought it was a funny day. >> yeah, right. >> i'm serious. i don't know what it is. it just sounded funny. >> seriously? >> then i apologize. >> it is okay. >> it is a funny day. >> happy cranky co-workers day. >> happy cranky co-workers day to you. >> maybe you can learn something from it. >> let's welcome our guest. she is so cute that hello kitty has a picture of her on her backpack. she is the co-host of the of "the five" and if brains were baby powder he would prevent chafing in all of your problem areas. it is chris barron, co-chairman of the board. and he is filling in for bill. bill schulz is away on assignment or gender reassign meant if you catch my drift. and he is sharper than a samurai sword made from the femurs of men saw saw saw -- men saw members. no pinch today. who cares? i hope he is dead. to the greg-alogue. >> welcome to the realm of m

>> i agree with you, greg. kevin, i understand your point , but what if all of america is in agreement we want him dead, then maybe it is okay. you know what i mean? what if we are all on the same page? >> i don't think 100% majority says you get to kill somebody. this is a guy not accused of being under arms. he was not somebody directly linked -- >> she directly linked. >> no, he wasn't. he was put on the list for things he had written and a film me made. >> well, the film was awful. >> this is a guy targeted specifically for things he had said and done and thought. it was not for having carried out a bombing or assassination. in the war there were confederate agitators, but at least they got a military trial. >> the failed plots he was connect etd to -- connected, if one of the operatives was smart enough to carry them out, they were all foiled -- >> but we don't know his connection to the plot. we have information coming from the same executive charged with making a decision of carrying it out and acting as

. >> greg: see you tomorrow. bye. >> bob: maybe. >>> we are here live at 3:00 a.m. just like we were last night. they were doing body shots off my chest and have to be doctored. i can't be two places at once, people. not even for you, philip. let's go to andy levy for a pre game report. what's coming up on tonight's show? >> rock and roll ain't noise pollution, america. occupy oakland gets ugly as police fire teargas into frank ogala. i'm sorry, that should have said frank ogala plaza. you will never guess why the adorable people at peta are suing seaworld unless you have read or heard the story elsewhere. and jersey shore's snookie announced she is marketing her own perfume. and by the way i said jersey shore's snookie so you know which one i was talking about. happy cranky co cocoa workers day. >> this bit is getting old. >> what bit? >> the day you send some sort of message you think is subtle, but it is really not. >> that's crazy, greg. cranky co worker days is an actual day. >> i'm sure it is, just as i'm sure you picked it for a reason. >> you are wrong, greg

greg, i was so upset i almost didn't have sex with her. >> wow. had a .-- poignant moment and he had to bring it down. >>> we will wrap up up with a post game wrap up with andy levey. go to foxnews.com/redeye. >>> see you back at 5:00 p.m. eastern for "the five." return appearances from paul mccure yo and diane ma -- macedo and jaime weinstein. >> time to go back to andy levy for the post game wrap up. >> i am told heidi isn't dead. she is just playing possum. >> you know, what heart less. heartless. >> masa, why is your hair pink? >> october is breast cancer awareness month, and i am doing my part to get the word out, andy. >> excellent. >> i am that type of girl. >> good for you. >> the stock market is at a two-week low and your eagles suck. how is your life? >> my life sucks and my girlfriend broke up with me last week. it has been a struggle. i was thinking of dying my hair pink to change things up too. >> i'm sure you waited the requisite four hours before jump ning -- jumping in the sack with another chick? >> sherrod,hat is going on in your

>> thanks, greg. tonight i will read each and every e-mail released in the sylindra scandal, topless. just kidding. they haven't been this furious since they looked into a mirror. they are encouraging the wall street protesters to insight violence. and mark ruffalo, who ever that is, says we should join the protest to get our dignity back. nothing says dignity like crapping on a police car. right, mark? whatever the hell your name s. and are you ready for robust tax relief? the nfl is surprisingly, not really, overwhelmingly supports republicans over democrats. and we will tell you which sport supports democrats even though it is technically not considered a sport. in bill's apartment it is, and in certain new york neighborhoods after 3:00 a.m. >> thank you, andrea. i look forward to your analysis in this block. >>> let's welcome our guest. she is cuter than 10 smurfs impaired on the hood of a unicorn with a smurf onesie. it is a medical memwior, and she writes one every year. >> that is not true. >>

greg, you started off the show by saying i'm greg gutfeld and i'm right here so the guy peeking in the window at 3:00 a.m. wouldn't be me. did some digging and turns out we tape earlier in the night. >> you lie. lie. >> still isn't me though. >> i am not saying it is. >> i am somewhere else. >> you said it couldn't be you. i stay could be. >> i am across town right now. i have an alibi. >> doesn't shep live across town? >> all right. >> isn't alibi the name of your binoculars? i'm just asking questions. >> occupy wall street hits its one-month anniversary. greg, i believe the traditional one-month anniversary is soap, so that's goods. that is my one cheap shot of the night. if the protesters didn't so such ridiculous things we wouldn't make fun of them. right? like dressing up like the founding father, right? >> you are picking the person that is normal? no. half of the people are not clothed with children walking around. the guy defecating. >> i think you missed my point.ilgeer >> then would you like them. >> wow. >> paul, you asked greg to acknowledge that you made a good point what

but i do have a library card, greg. i don't ever go over there at lunchtime because you would not like what you see. i would also add, on-line has classes? is this a new porn i am not aware of? >> sherrod, the education system sucks. doesn't it stop us? they are integrating a competition the teachers don't like. they may actually learn something. these teachers are scared. >> the unions want a job. they want to work. >> no, no, no. they want a job. they don't want to work. >> they just want a paycheck. >> more power to the on-line classes. if you don't have to pay for a dormitory, god bless you. >> you are not supposed to eat there anymore, sherrod. >> i was there yesterday. >> you when you are there people go missing. >> last word, they know the jig is you. and once they figure out these teachers are not needed, they suck. >> all unions suck. >> nfl. >> sucks. >> it goes back to the civil war. punch him, black man. >> this guy is a coned it rat. -- confederate. send your hate mail to him. >>> able time to take a break

not cool. >> back to you, greg. >> thank you, jesse. i shall see you in about 18 minutes or so. >>> coming up, andy levy is dead tired of sitting at home and taking his medicine. get well soon, andy. take care of the cats. and what is with venezuela an mimes? my guess is it is probably something. >>> what are you doing, bill? >> i had a fingernail in my teeth. maybe i can use the string. >> don't do that. she wasn't feeling the rush. i speak of a texas woman suing the local police for forcing her to listen to rush limbaugh. bridgeen nicker son boyd said she was arrested for driving on the shoulder after pulling off the highway because her engine was steaming. on the way to jail the sheriff deputy cranked up and was making derogatory comments about black people. now boyd is suing for defamation and inflix of emotional distress. is we must discuss all things rush in the -- >> lightning roooooouuuunnd. lightning round. >> yea. what are are yo thoughts on this? should she be able to sue because she didn't like what was on the radio? >> no.

>> corporations. >> greg is beating up on new hampshire. new hampshire will ruin "the five"'s christmas because everything will be shifted. >> i play an elf at the department store. >> what are you going to do? >> i have no idea. >> didn't you play baby jesus? >> i broke the manger. >> next on "the five," perry lays out his plan to spur job growth and his wife comes to his defense -- again. we have that and a lot more. 2012 for you, news up next. if opping for insurance re like shopping foriapers, you might think all these cost about the same... protect about the sam.. but what if you have an accident? allstate accident forgiveness starts the day you sign up. these guys might make you wait a couple of years. we can't wait a couple years. [ babbles ] no you cannot. thanks. don't mention it. [ dennis ] shop less. get more. make one call to an allstate agent. [ female announcer ] call allstate now and you'll also get a free lifetime membership in good hands roadside assistance. the 3.6-liter v6 engine of the jeep grand cherokee has a best-in-c

>> corporations. >> greg is beating up on new hampshire. new hampshire will ruin "the five"'s christmas because everything will be shifted. >> i play an elf at the department store. >> what are you going to do? >> i have no idea. >> didn't you play baby jesus? >> i broke the manger. >> next on "the five," perry lays out his plan to spur job growth and his wife comes to his defense -- again. we have that and a lot more. 2012 for you, news up next. 4g-- the next evolution in wireless technology. with advanced power, the verizon 4g lte network makes your business run faster: smartphones, laptops, tablets, mobile hotspots. but not all 4g is created equal. among the major carriers, only verizon's 4g network is 100% lte, the gold standard of wireless technology. and while other carriers may have limited lte coverage, verizon is the largest lte network in america and ever-growing. with verizon 4g lte, you can invent new ways to upgrade your business using real-time group meetings from remote locations, video conferencing, mobile credit-card paymen