guillermo -- guillermo has the book. it's called "shaq uncut." is that a coffee table book, guillermo? >> no. >> jimmy: seems kind of big. i don't think he took into account that normal-sized people would be the ones reading. take that down to shaq's dressing room. let's see -- luckily we have a wheelbarrow. take that down -- thank you, guillermo. take that down to shaq's dressing room. i would love to hear an explanation as to why the book itself is so enormous. it seems unnecessarily so but -- that's our green room, everybody iswaiting. oh, there he is. hey, shaq. look at that. shaq -- if you could, just show, like, hold up the book and show us -- >> it's not that big, guillermo. what are you complaining about? where's my tea? >> jimmy: get the man his tea. all right. yeah, that's the book. there, a little cup. see shaq in a minute. >> i said tea, not coffee! >> jimmy: oh, no, we got trouble. shaq's a lot of fun. earlier this year, guillermo went to shaq's house in florida. we shot this for our nba special last year. since it was in primetime,

guillermo -- guillermo has the book. it's called "shaq uncut." is that a coffee table book, guillermo? >> no. >> jimmy: seems kind of big. i don't think he took into account that normal-sized people would be the ones reading. take that down to shaq's dressing room. let's see -- luckily we have a wheelbarrow. take that down -- thank you, guillermo. take that down to shaq's dressing room. i would love to hear an explanation as to why the book itself is so enormous. it seems unnecessarily so but -- that's our green room everybody iswaiting. oh, there he is. hey, shaq. look at that. shaq -- if you could, just show like, hold up the book and show us -- >> it's not that big, guillermo. what are you complaining about? where's my tea? >> jimmy: get the man his tea. all right. yeah, that's the book. there, a little cup. see shaq in a minute. >> i said tea, not coffee! >> jimmy: oh, no, we got trouble. shaq's a lot of fun. earlier this year, guillermo went to shaq's house in florida. we shot this for our nba special last year. since it was in primetime, th

guillermo leÓn sÁenz vargas naciÓ en bogotÁ en 1938. vivÍa con una familia estable, con matrimonios y un hijo, estudiando antropologÍa y derecho en la universidad nacional. su naturaleza y la lista y su don de palabra no permitirÁ en un importante lÍder de la juventud comunista. se uniÓ a las farc bajo el nombre de alfonso cano en la dÉcada del 70. para el 78 era el jefe de la comisiÓn de finanzas de la organizaciÓn, estaba a cargo de la obtenciÓn de recursos econÓmicos mediante extorsiones y secuestros. tuvo una activa participaciÓn en las negociaciones de paz entre 1982 y 1996, las conversaciones de caracas y mÉxico. sobre todo resaltÓ su liderazgo entre el 99 y el 2002. en el 2000 las movimiento bolivariano para la colombia, una asociaciÓn clandestina de izquierda que surgiÓ de la octava conferencia guerrillera. en el 2003 presentÓ un plan para transformar los cultivos de cocaÍna. paso al mando de las farc tras la repentina muerte de su antecesor en el 2008. hoy se abre para las farc el inicio de un capÍtulo injerto

i don't know if you announced this, guillermo is having a baby in a couple of weeks, right guillermo? >> yes, jimmy. [ applause ] >> jimmy: how many do you want to have? >> two. >> jimmy: two? >> yes. >> jimmy: you're going to have -- can you say what you're going to say? >> a boy. >> jimmy: and you want to have two boys or -- >> a boy and a girl. >> jimmy: okay. and have you decided to name the baby after me yet? >> no. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: seems like the right thing to do. >> i want to name it benjamin fr francis. >> jimmy: after the president and uncle frank? put francis first. >> yeah, you're right. >> jimmy: thank you. he told us before the show his name is dr. guy and i'm worried about that because doctors should have a last name and -- you don't go to a dr. guy. you go to the ice cream guy. >> you're right again. >> jimmy: okay. [ laughter ] one more thing. lindsay lohan did a brief stint in jail on sunday night. she turned herself in to serve what was supposed to be a 30-day sense sentence for probation violation. they released her after five hours. it was like a kardashian

as you can see, i'm here with my sous-chef preparing the brand-new -- >> guillermo: my name is guillermo. call me sue. >> jimmy: no, i said you're my sous-chef -- as in "my second-in-command." sous-chef, under the chef. >> guillermo: oh, now i see. >> jimmy: anyway, like i was saying, applebee's has a new sizzling entree, double barrel whisky sirloins. they're placed on two grilled 4-ounce sirloin steaks, flavored with blackened seasoning, garlic and thyme on a delicious mountain of garlic mashed potatoes. delicious. >> guillermo: is it good, jennifer? >> jimmy: stop calling me jennifer. >> guillermo: you stop calling me sue. >> jimmy: do you want a steak or not? then stop calling me jennifer. >> announcer: app lebee's sizzling entrÉes, including the new double barrel whisky sirloins. fresh flavor never sounded so good. >> jimmy: "jimmy kimmel live" is back in two minutes with missy piggy, music from the belle brigade and sarah michelle gellar. oh, big game, guys! what are we having? you've got to try the new sizzling entrees. [ sizzling ] [ male announcer ] fresh flavor never sounded a

right guillermo? >> right, jimmy. >> jimmy: thank you, guillermo. he always agrees. here's a sign of the times, i guess. this is from a wedding ceremony in san diego. watch here as the camera captures this beautiful moment between two people who are clearly very, very much in love. >> this is a relationship which much abide in genuine love, remembering the god of self has established it by his needs. by the high standard of love, god's wisdom gives marriage to promote goodness, happiness and holiness, not by whim or option, but as a foundation of the home. generation of children in the perfect social order will so much remain until the end of time. >> jimmy: yeah, that should work out. maybe she's -- i don't know. she's married now, she has to update her facebook status. you can catch the remaining 11 hours of their fairy tale wefrding wedding channel on the "e!" channel all this weekend. oh, speaking of that, can we just take a moment of silence? and bow our heads? because earlier today on twitter, kim kardashian unfollowed her former husband kris humphries. i know.

guillermo, you want one of these? >> no. >> jimmy: no? all right. all right. >> i actually sectioned testicles in real life -- >> jimmy: why? >> you have to take a scralpel. you have to take a little section. >> jimmy: what do you do with it? >> you put it into a jar and you have a piece of it so you can say you've done the testicle. >> jimmy: oh, yeah. great. all right, and finally? >> oh, the smell is just horrible. this is the other thing you do as a medical examiner. my character is always doing this. you go like this all the time. >> jimmy: why? >> to smell it. i don't know. >> jimmy: supposed to teach you something? >> it's like somehow -- i can't remember, it gets up -- i don't know. whatever. i fake it, you know? i'm acting. >> jimmy: like a fine wine. >> this is a pig heart. >> jimmy: oh. oh, you know what? >> yes. >> we could put it in this and bring it back to life. where does it go? >> jimmy: there's a price tag. it goes -- all right. >> poor pig. >> jimmy: this poor pig. how about us? >> look at the ventricles. >> jimmy: it's beautiful.

and most adordable of all, as usual, our parking lot security guard guillermo. tell us who you are. >> pikashu! >> jimmy: and do you have any idea what that is? >> ah -- i know he's from japan. >> jimmy: okay. and did you tresz your little dogs up? >> no, no. >> jimmy: all right. very good. some of our staff behind the scenes dressed up today, too, which is kind of a weird thing, wearing a costume into an office. like what if you get fired? nothing sadder than clearing out your things dressed like dora the explorer. some of our studio audience dressed up tonight, too. let's see what we have here. we have hot dog group here. are you guys a family? >> yeah! >> jimmy: all right. you really went all out. >> thanks. >> jimmy: what else do we have? let's see. we got a guy dressed like me from the hottie body hump club. that's nice. thank you. colonel sanders. we have the beatles. the beatles or old justin biebers? [ laughter ] oh, we have alidy pee-wee herman here for pee-wee herman here tonight. he's going to sue the daylights out of you when he gets out here. [ laug

. >> jimmy: good job, guillermo. "jimmy kimmel live" back in two minutes with manny pacquiao, music from chickenfoot and eddie murphy. the ford focus with up to 40 miles per gallon highway. [ girl's voice ] hi todd, do you wanna be my boyfriend? [ chuckles ] sure! great- gimme your melt. myy--melt? [ singsong voice ] yeah. i'm your girlfriend now. ahh, i don't think this is working out. [ male announcer ] get your own subway steak melt. like the steak & cheese -- layers of juicy steak and bubbly, melted cheese. subway. eat fresh. isn't some optional pursuit. a privilege for the ultra-wealthy. it's a necessity. i find investments with e-trade's top 5 lists. quickly. easily. i use pre-defined screeners and insightful trading ideas to dig deeper. work smarter. not harder. i depend on myself the one person i do trust to take charge of my financial future. [ bell dinging ] and the chocolate cravings begin... again. ♪ for nights like these, there's special k chocolatey delight cereal. ♪ so you can get your chocolatey f

guillermo? >> ellen, ellen degeneres. do you have anymore of those tofu -- >> jimmy: guillermo. >> i have one for you, big g. >> oh, thank you very much. you have a parking lot on your show? >> i do, yeah. >> and you have a security guard? >> not one as handsome as you. >> oh, thank you very much. >> jimmy: put it down. >> hey, jimmy. >> jimmy: put it down. hi, how are you? >> how are you? you can eat it. go ahead. >> jimmy: proud of yourself? >> not that i'm proud of myself, i was just trying to be nice. >> jimmy: i'm nice, too. just as nice as you are, people just don't know about it because i don't ever do any nice things. >> you are nice. >> jimmy: i know. i'm nicer. a lot nicer. >> okay, you're nicer. >> jimmy: you don't believe me, do you? >> i mean -- >> jimmy: i guess there's only one way to settle this. >> oh, my god. nice-off! >> nice-off! nice-off! nice-off! nice-off! ♪ >> nice-off! nice-off! >> okay. you ready? because i have to get to an animal shelter i'm volunteering tonight. >> jimmy: oh, no -- i'm actua

guillermo? >> ellen, ellen degeneres. do you have anymore of those tofu -- >> jimmy: guillermo. >> i have one for you, big g. >> oh, thank you very much. you have a parking lot on your show? >> i do, yeah. >> and you have a security guard? >> not one as handsome as you. >> oh, thank you very much. >> jimmy: put it down. >> hey, jimmy. >> jimmy: put it down. hi, how are you? >> how are you? you can eat it. go ahead. >> jimmy: proud of yourself? >> not that i'm proud of myself, i was just trying to be nice. >> jimmy: i'm nice, too. just as nice as you are, people just don't know about it because i don't ever do any nice things. >> you are nice. >> jimmy: i know. i'm nicer. a lot nicer. >> okay, you're nicer. >> jimmy: you don't believe me, do you? >> i mean -- >> jimmy: i guess there's only one way to settle this. >> oh, my god. nice-off! >> nice-off! nice-off! nice-off! nice-off! ♪ >> all: nice-off! nice-off! nice-off! nice-off! >> okay. you ready? because i have to get to an animal shelter i'm volunteering tonight at. >

guillermo is one. i actually built him out of clay. and so are the kids you're about to see. on halloween night, i challenged parents watching the show to pretend they ate all their kids' candy and upload the kids' reactions to youtube. they were great. we put the best ones together. the video already has more than 18 million views. it's like the top most liked comedy videos of all-time. and much of that interest is because of these kids, c.j. and jake. >> i ate all your candy. you have no more halloween candy left. >> what? >> she ate it. what the heck? >> mom! >> don't you guys think you ate enough candy last night? >> no. i only had one bite of candy. are you serious? and you ate the rest? you're probably going to get a belly ache. why do you have to eat so much candy? mom, that's two. >> two what? >> two bags of candy. >> two plus two is -- two plus two equals five! >> you were so close. did you see how much i had? i went to a lot of houses. >> i know. i ate it all. it tasted so good. especially the peanut butter cups. >> you sneaky mom! >> jimmy: i watch it about 12 time

with more. ♪ i'm here with guillermo ♪ with a song for all you vets ♪ we want to say gracias ♪ because you guys are the best ♪ ♪ on this veterans day ♪ you're gonna be treated like a star ♪ ♪ you can eat for free at applebee's neighborhood grill and bar ♪ ♪ so happy veterans day ♪ army navy air force and marines ♪ ♪ applebee's is feeding steak, chicken, shrimp and even beef ♪ ♪ so happy veterans day [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: sorry, rodney. >> dicky: visit thank you movement.com to share your personal message of gratitude and appreciation. >> jimmy: "jimmy kimmel live," back in two minutes with the stars of our halloween candy prank, c.j. and jake will be here. jon bernthal will be here. music from feist. and kristen stewart, too, so music from feist. and kristen stewart, too, so come on back. ♪ won't you stand up, stand up, stand up ♪ ♪ won't you stand up, you girls and boys? ♪ [ male announcer ] our heroes. for their service and sacrifice, we will honor them always. this veterans day, all veterans and active duty military eat free at applebee's.

ahora mire como acomoda la jugada y esto cierra con el ala cerrada y vean como va a anotar al estilo de guillermo quiroz y esntre la repada y ganan por paliza. >> hasta acá los deportes, volvemos con usted. >> gracias y feliz lunes a todos allá en casa y el panorama se mantiene húmedo para el norte y veremos como se encuentran las temperaturas y en san josé y san mateo lo 48° y la bahía en los 49° y se espera que para mañana las temperaturas se mantengan y la lluvia a partir del miércoles llega y podría extenderse para el jueves y será un día de acción de gracias frío y con el fin de semana comienza a generar y el pavo pronostica algunas lluvias y más detalles mañana. >> buenas noches y feliz lunes, regresamos a los estudios. >> ♪ ahorros extremos. extrema generosidad. la venta de dos días comienza el próximo viernes a la medianoche. . >> un nuevo estudio señala que cada vez más niños admiten ser acosados por vía de texto y muchos de ellos han sufrido de esto también conocido como ciber bullying. >> hay que tener más cuidado sobre todo que los padres investiguen bien . >

. >> siete hor duraron los enfrentamientos que terminaron con la muerte de guillermo saenz, su verdadero nombre, >> no habÍa nadie que tuviera esa ascendencia y ese mando sobr elas farc. >> desde 2008 cuando reemplazÓ a manuel marulanda vÉlez, cano era el hombre mÁs perseguido de colombia. >> ademÁs de la importante muerte inteligencia militar resalta que quedaron en su poder importantes archivos pertenecientes al legendario guerrillero. fueron recuperados en el campamento donde se encontraba alfonso cano 20 computadoras portÁtiles 24 discos duros, lo que es mÁs importante par libretas con instrucciones y recuentos histÓricos de puÑo y letra de ese, el hombre mÁs buscados de colombia y fue abatido en la operaciÓn odiseo por los hombres que hoy son calificados como hÉroes de la patria. regreso contigo a los esdios. >> muchas gracias. y ahora el municipio de suÁrez en colombia cobrÓ notoriedad por estar vinculado con la cabecilla. amara villamarÍn fue hasta allÍ. >> buenas tardes, nos encontramos en el municipio de suÁrez en el departamento del cauca a los pies de la cordi

. >> siete horas duraron los enfrentamientos que terminaron con la muerte de guillermo saenz, su verdadero nombre, >> no habÍa nadie que tuviera esa ascendencia y ese mando sobr elas farc. >> desde 2008 cuando reemplazÓ a manuel marulanda vÉlez, cano era el hombre mÁs perseguido de colombia. >> ademÁs de la importante muerte inteligencia militar resalta que quedaron en su poder importantes archivos pertenecientes al legendario guerrillero. fueron recuperados en el campamento donde se encontraba alfonso cano 20 computadoras portÁtiles 24 discos duros, lo que es mÁs importante parir libretas con instrucciones y recuentos histÓricos de puÑo y letra de ese, el hombre mÁs buscados de colombia y fue abatido en la operaciÓn odiseo por los hombres que hoy son calificados como hÉroes de la patria. regreso contigo a los estudios. >> muchas gracias. y ahora el municipio de suÁrez en colombia cobrÓ notoriedad por estar vinculado con la cabecilla. amara villamarÍn fue hasta allÍ. >> buenas tardes, nos encontramos en el municipio de suÁrez en el departamento del cauca a los pies de la c

guillermo ochoa quedo fuera por lesion y fue llamado jesus corona. por el tÉcnico jose manuel de la torre para el Último encuentro del aÑo. el tri entrenarÁ hoy y maÑana en el centro de alto rendimiento y el jueves se trasladarÁ a querÉtaro para tener una pra Áctica en el estadio la corregidora. hasta aqui los deportes esta noche entre otras noticias tendremos el resumen del futbol local con imagenes y reacciones, recuerde hoy solo a las once.

. >> el cadÁver de guillermo leÓn sÁenz, este subversivo que en 30 aÑs en las farc, se convirtiÓ en uno de sus mayores comandantes, serÁ entregado su familia. >> el departamento de estado de estados unidos felicitÓ al gobierno colombiano por esto. en un comunicado pÚblico las partes reconociera la muerte de su mayor jef >> sin embargo, lo que mÁs rescatan los militares eque fue una operaciÓn impecable, como lo dijo el presidente santos y tan sÓlo un soldado resultÓ herido, por fortuna ya estÁ fuera de peligro. martÍn, la informaciÓn que tenemos por ahora de este bocallÁn, regreso contigo, muy buenas noches. >> muy buenas noches juan carlos. hoy fueron analizadas las huellas de pilares de alfonso cano y eventualmente se realizara una autopsia. nos explican cÓmo serÁ el proceso ahorapara alterar el cuerpo sus familiares. >> en el municipio de suÁrez donde fudado de baja el primer comandante de las farc, todo el mundo tiene miedo. >> quiso saber quÉ represiones para tomar ellos porque hace unos 10 mataron a un policÍa. >> alfonso cano llegÓ hasta las inmediaciones de bocal

sponsoring the world's largest "words with friends" game and our favorite car and spelling enthusiast, guillermo, was there. >> wow! look! words with friends. i love that game! brought to me by the new ford escape. come on, let's go. i want to play the game. wow! >> all right, everybody, i need a volunteer to play words with friends. >> pick me! >> okay, come on up. how are you doing? >> great. >> if you can guess the word of the day, you get a shot at the all-new ford escape right behind this wall. >> behind this wall? >> behind this wall here. >> wow. >> try it out. >> okay, the ford escape is gorgeous? active? slick? >> oh, boy. >> amazingly smart? >> sorry, buddy. >> i didn't win? no, no -- look! shh! wow! look. what a new slick design. this is a versatile vehicle. look, no hands. i told you guys. this is how you spell happiness. h-a-p -- happiness! >> dicky: play the special escape words with friends word of the day from today to the 18th for a chance to win the completely redesigned ford escape. the gaming fun continues with ford's new reality game, escape routes. curious? go to escaperout

. >> jimmy: can i say guillermo has offered to buy a lot of our debt. right, guillermo. >> yes, jimmy. >> jimmy . >> when you don't have any takers you are bankrupt and the problem is -- see, back in the '90s when i was on the board of the federal reserve in kansas city we didn't have this problem. people would stand in line to buy u.s. debt. the reason that the fed is doing some of the things that it's doing to prop up the treasury department is because many of them are saying your rating has been downgraded, you got $14 trillion in debt and they're saying hmm, i don't know if you're going to remain solvent. what you got to do like i said is grow in economy which we have the capacity to do and then make sure that we bring down the debt and people will be standing in line to buy our debt again. >> jimmy: i read your wife is a democrat. is that true? >> my wife is a democrat, but that doesn't mean that that's how she votes all the time. >> jimmy: i see. >> yes, she still says she's a democrat and i believe that. but that doesn't mean that she votes democ

guillermo? cory? that's an interesting pattern. there we go. america has spoken. your dance card has been punched. you can watch david and kym tomorrow -- going to norm? >> yeah. we do "good morning america" here and then we fly out there for "the view." >> jimmy: "good morning america" and "the view." "dancing with the stars," monday and tuesday nights here on abc. david and kym, everyone. we'll be right back with the bangles. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ♪ when life gets busy... there are days where you want to give your immune system some support. try airborne. each serving contains 14 vitamins, minerals and herbs including zinc, echinacea, ginger, and a blast of vitamin c. it's the easy, great-tasting way to help support your immune system. try airborne. in fast-acting effervescent formula, and new super-convenient chewable tablets! >> jimmy: this is their new cd. it's called "sweetheart of the sun." here with the song "i'll never be through with you," the bangles! ♪ ♪ i'll never have you completely but somehow i don't care ♪ ♪ i don't want to give up th

---cano, cuyo nombre verdadero era guillermo leon saenz asumio la jefatura de las farc en mayo de 2008 luego de la muerte del fundadro de la agrupacion manuel marulanda. take vo --- mientras que guatemala y nicaragua se aprestan a celebrar elecciones generales el proximo domingo... -----en la campaa electoral de guatemala, su actual presidiente no puede ser reelegido y por eso se esperan grandes cambios para este pais. en este momento encabeza las encuestas el candidato otto perez molina del partido patriota con casi once puntos de diferencia a su oponente manuel baldizon. ---mientras que en nicaragua, daniel ortega su actual presidente se muestra como un posible ganador, con un 48 por ciento de votos, ya que su principal oponente el empresario fabio gadea tan solo tiene un 30 por ciento de votos. take vo ---en mxico, la violencia en el norte del pas ha generado temor entre los empresarios ---segn el director del centro de convenciones de cancn, un congreso que se celebrara en monterrey, donde ocurri el ataque al "casino royale", estaba por salir del pas debido al temor generado por la

guillermo is one. i actually built guillermo out of clay. [ laughter ] and so are the kids you're about to see. on halloween night, i challenged parents watching the show to pretend they ate all their kids' halloween candy and then upload the kids' reactions to youtube. they were great. we put the best ones together. it is was a huge hit online. the video already has more than 18 million views. it's like the top most liked comedy videos of all-time. and much of that interest is because of these kids, c.j. and jake. >> i ate all your candy. you have no more halloween candy left. >> what? >> she ate it. what the heck? >> mom! >> don't you guys think you ate enough candy last night? >> no. i only had one bite of candy. are you serious? and you ate the rest? you're probably going to get a belly ache. why do you have to eat so much candy? mom, that's two. >> two what? >> two bags of candy. >> two plus two is -- two plus two equals five! >> you were so close. did you see how much i had? i went to a lot of ho

guillermo. agent cero-cero-siete. my assignment today -- to stop the diabolical mr. mean from blowing up the world. stop, mr. mean! >> you're too late. i blow up the world. >> do not blow up the world. >> oh, my god. what is that car? beautiful. >> it is the new fiat 500 ah-bart. >> it's beautiful. >> yeah. i will give you a ride if you don't not blow up the world. >> buy cheeseburger for me? >> yeah, i buy you cheeseburger. let's go. >> come on. >> you got to put the seat belt on before we go, okay? >> okay. one minute. ♪ >> dicky: visit fiatusa.com to learn more about this new vehicle from fiat usa. >> jimmy: "jimmy kimmel live" is back in two minutes with jamie oliver, music from vince gill and peter facinelli. it's national unfriend day! ♪ ...elegance... ♪ ...is hard work. ♪ it's taking style... ♪ whatever you want me to ...performance... ♪ i'm gonna see you through ...and originality and making them look easy. ♪ i can breathe, i can feel ♪ i believe ♪ and there ain't no doubt about it ♪ [ male announcer ] introducing mio. a revolutionary wate

guillermo? cory? that's an interesting pattern. there we go. america has spoken. your dance card has been punched. you can watch david and kym tomorrow -- going to norm? >> yeah. we do "good morning america" here and then we fly out there for "the view." >> jimmy: "good morning america" and "the view." "dancing with the stars," monday and tuesday nights here on abc. david and kym, everyone. we'll be right back with the bangles. >> jimmy: this is their new cd. it's called "sweetheart of the sun." here with the song "i'll never be through with you," the bangles! ♪ ♪ i'll never have you completely but somehow i don't care ♪ ♪ i don't want to give up this feeling deep as the ocean floating on air ♪ ♪ and i wish you could love me like i love you and i wish you would leave me ♪ ♪ but i'll never be through with you oh oh ♪ ♪ say goodbye and i will let you go oh ♪ ♪ i will never be through with you ♪ ♪ oh oh ♪ you'll never see me crying no you won't taste my tears cause you slip away in the darkness ♪ ♪ before the morning light makes this

. >> el cadÁver de guillermo leÓn sÁenz, este subversivo que en 30 aÑos en las farc, se convirtiÓ en uno de sus mayores comandantes, serÁ entregado su familia. >> el departamento de estado de estados unidos felicitÓ al gobierno colombiano por esto. en un comunicado pÚblico las partes reconociera la muerte de su mayor jefe. >> sin embargo, lo que mÁs rescatan los militares es que fue una operaciÓn impecable, como lo dijo el presidente santos y tan sÓlo un soldado resultÓ herido, por fortuna ya estÁ fuera de peligro. martÍn, la informaciÓn que tenemos por ahora de este bocallÁn, regreso contigo, muy buenas noches. >> muy buenas noches juan carlos. hoy fueron analizadas las huellas de pilares de alfonso cano y eventualmente se realizara una autopsia. nos explican cÓmo serÁ el proceso ahorapara alterar el cuerpo sus familiares. >> en el municipio de suÁrez donde fue dado de baja el primer comandante de las farc, todo el mundo tiene miedo. >> quiso saber quÉ represiones para tomar ellos porque hace unos 10 mataron a un policÍa. >> alfonso cano llegÓ hasta las inmediacione

guillermo? cory? that's an interesting pattern. there we go. america has spoken. your dance card has been punched. you can watch david and kym tomorrow -- going to norm? >> yeah. we do "good morning america" here and then we fly out there for "the view." >> jimmy: "good morning america" and "the view." "dancing with the stars," monday and tuesday nights here on abc. david and kym, everyone. we'll be right back with the bangles. [ screaming ] [ zapping ] there goes dwayne's car. oh, man. there goes dwayne's house. whoa! whoa! and there goes dwayne. n, that thing does not like dwayne. [ male announcer ] state farm's got you covered. nice landing. it was. [ male announcer ] get to a better state. and started earning loads of points. you got a weather balloon with points? yes, i did. [ man ] points i could use for just about anything. ♪ keep on going in this direction. take this bridge over here. there it is. [ man ] so i used mine to get a whole new perspectiv ♪ [ male e announcer ] write your story with the citi thankyou premier card, with no point caps, and poi

. >> jimmy: can i say guillermo has offered to buy a lot of our debt. right, guillermo? >> yes, jimmy. >> when you don't have any takers, you are bankrupt, and the problem is -- see, back in the '90s when i was on the board of the federal reserve in kansas city, we didn't have this problem. people would stand in line to buy u.s. debt. the reason that the fed is doing some of the things that it's doing to prop up the treasury department is because many of them are saying, your rating has been downgraded, you got $14 trillion in debt, and they're saying, hmm, i don't know if you guys are going to remain sol vent. what you got to do, like i said, is grow in economy, which we have the capacity to do, and then make sure that we bring down the debt, and people will be standing in line to buy our debt again. >> jimmy: i read your wife is a democrat. is that true? >> my wife is a democrat, but that doesn't mean that that's how she votes all the time. >> jimmy: i see. >> yes, she still says she's a democrat, and i believe that, but that doesn't mean that she votes democrat. >> ji

. >> jimmy: can i say guillermo has offered to buy a lot of our debt? right, guillermo? >> yes, jimmy. >> jimmy: and -- >> when you don't have any takers, you are bankrupt, and the problem is -- see, back in the '90s when i was on the board of the federal reserve in kansas city, we didn't have this problem. people would stand in line to buy u.s. debt. the reason that the fed is doing some of the things that it's doing to prop up the treasury department is because many of them are saying, your rating has been downgraded, you got $14 trillion in debt, and they're saying, hmm, i don't know if you're going to remain solvent. what you got to do, like i said, is grow this economy, which we have the capacity to do, and then make sure that we bring down the debt, and people will be standing in line to buy our debt again. >> jimmy: i read your wife is a democrat. is that true? >> my wife is a democrat, but that doesn't mean that that's how she votes all the time. >> jimmy: i see. >> yes, she still says she's a democrat, and i believe that, but that doesn't mean that she votes dem

i'd like to thank my guests, mos def, guillermo diaz, everybody that helped me out this week. i got to say that he... [♪...] man: yo! chappelle! yo, wrap it up! that's it, you done, man! wrap it up, b! you're done! wrap it up, right! all right, all right... we'll see you next week! wrap it up! [♪..., applause...] i'm rich, bi-atch! [horn honks] hi. thank you. [♪...] >> november 8, 2011. from comedy central's world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with jon stewart. (cheers and applause) captioning sponsored by comedy central (cheers and applause). >> jon: hey, everybody, welcome to "the daily show." my name is jon stewart. we've got a great show tonight. our guest is going to be former president of the united states bill clinton. i'm going to get right to it because i have a feeling the interview might go long! (laughter) let's begin tonight with the economy. the occupy wall street protests have reminded americans of two thing: one, the unchecked excesses of the financial industry and, two, just how few public toilet facilities there are in lower ma