they say bill schulz, bill schulz to you. >> no, there is another reason for that. >> but i avoid hr because it is a code. >> hr? >> it stands for human resources. in cling on -- >> the meter is coming off. we have to get restraints for bill tonight. from words to wheels, are we not far from self-driving cars? a convoy of so-called autonomous autos cruised along the highway in spain in normal traffic. a world first apparently. viewers are sitting up now i think in their chairs. a professional driver took the lead in the truck and was followed by four volvos equiped with safety systems like camera, radar, bubble wrap and laser sensor usa louing them to monitor the -- allowing them to monitor the lead vehicle and other vehicles. and the cars talk. >> amazing. >> these are the stories i get when i replace greg. that lady is a volvo project manager. she said afterward, quote, it is quite funny to see the passing vehicles. they are surprised they are not driving the car, but reading a magazine. >> was that an ago sent? an accent? >> yes. >> that's a great way to trap the terrorists, don't

and bill schulz who thinks he is in got them city rising up against baine. and look it is anthony cumea, co-host of the "opi expe anthony -- and an thon nay show." >> today in science the jennette tau cysts sequenced the genome in the hope of breeding better specimens and found that it is 30,000 genes versus 30,000 in a human being. which begs the question, who cares? and furthermore, why do we do this story to begin with? never mind. >> everything you say begs the question, who cares? i'm talking to both of you. >> making fun of an inadd met -- an inadd do met object. why go through the paces? mitt romney may have officially clinched the gop nomination. apparently the election is already over. according to a volume gist, the skies predict an obama reprize. five star stargazers assess the opponent and say barak will be back. for you know nothings, that's when the sun enters the sign of air reece. that clinches the decision. she says, quote, it is obvious obama stays where it is without a change in status. you know who is not staying where he is? no uh stroll

if i was going choose to rob a place, take anthony and bill schulz. anthony, no offense, bill, but far more wealthier than you are. you have been to his house. it is ridiculous. it is opulent. your place? a tiny apartment. even though there is wealth in your place, i am not going there. i will steel from bill. >> let her go. >> to extrapolate on that, it is a deterrent -- it means russian food. it is a deterrent for bigger crimes like campus shootings. it could have changinged columbine. >> but they don't allow guns. >> you can't bring a gun to college. >> there are certain states and cities that are allowing college students to carry guns. own if that will help in the future. the open carry law and say let me go for the guy without a gun. it is common sense. >> there is a flaw in your theory. yes, he is wealthy, but i am wealthy in commune cable diseases. when you are around me, all i have to do is cough, sir, all have i to do is cough. >> from carrying a piece to keeping the peace. should we use drones on our own. they are not just for blowing up al

now i go to my fuzbal table because play is work and work is play. >> when bill builds the bill schulz puppet theater i will look forward to that day. can i say something about mark zuckerberg and why i want to punch him in the neck? there was a quote -- it is like bringing clips. he said simply put -- he said this in an e-mail to the bazillion airs, we don't build services to make money. we make better services. does anybody going public that has bazillions of dollars and generous with it that they are not in the business of making money? it is sort of underscoring the point of i don't know if it is a post occupy wall street, but everybody is ashamed. >> they are creating jobs and a great, free service. >> you are absolutely right. everybody is somehow ashamed. you should be seen as a professional athlete, but your playing field is the economy and you should be treated -- kids should be going, wow, i want to be that guy. instead, oh, you better hide your wealth. when will obama order them to pay their fair share? when will that happen? i have a question. does anybody know because i do

it is bill schulz. and he leaves audiences gasping for air because he suffocates them with a pillow. he is tom shlou. and he is the troll with the liberal soul. good to see you, pinch. >> intelligence officials tell reporters that recruiting a double agent like the one that foiled the underwear bombing plot is extremely difficult. it is? i have been spying on news corp and appearing on the late night fox tv show foregoing on five years now. so far it is as will toes. all staff members report to him as, quote, care bear. megan kelly bench presses 250 pounds and john gibson gets monthly body waxes at planet harry. >> thank you, sir. >> you are welcome. >> well, problem solved. president obama has endorsed the same sex marriages becoming the first president to take that stance. in an interview with abc news, an actual network, the president who was previously opposed explains that he has gone through an evolution. roll tape, roll tapers. >> i was sensitive to the fact that for a lot of people the word "mar

and he lists his dealer as a dependent on his tax returns, bill schulz. and he can kill you with a chimichanga. fyi, that's the name of his boomerang. diligence, the fine i can makers of diligence breath mints and diligence beagles. for all of your breath mint, bath soap and other needs, think diligence, diligence, we might kill you out of bore dom. and our new york times cory done spent -- correspondent, pinch. >> it is the secret walking papers he gave richard granel. here is a quote,. ♪ you didn't have to snoop so low ♪ ♪ i guess i didn't need the dough sthoat ♪ now you are just somebody i used to know ♪ ♪ now you're just somebody i used to know ♪ it is turning up the pop charts. >> i know, and i think we have to pay a royalty now. >> wonderful. >> yes, fantastic. >>> and it will save you from strive for all of your life and help you behave from cradle to grave. that's the message of president obama's greatest campaign, "the life of julia." julia is a fictional or composite woman who tells us how it will happen from birth to old age. we s

the samples tested negative after bill schulz said he tested all of it and felt nothing. with all of the strive he will protect our bikes. >> i guess obama ordered takeout. jokes like that never get old, or perhaps they do. gavin, after the show you are actually going downtown to the east village to an ows benefit. these plotters here are self-described anarchists and part of the ows group. should you be ashamed of yourself some. >> look, i will defend these kids to the death, even if they blow me up. they are what i was when i was that age and i love all of this stirring it up, stirring up the pot. the truth comes to the top. >> but so does the [bleep]. >> they are young. give them a break. >> this is not a wet t-shirt contest, and you were cherry picking the worst of them. i was with them today, and there are a lot of stupid, young people, there were people out there trying to expose corruption. the bank thing, i like that being exposed because -- >> with powder? >> i like people talking with the banks. they say why are they mad at the banks? they said did you know they

and his scabies have crabs, my sidekick bill schulz. and he is better looking than debbie and the only gibson in my life that matters. the great john gibson the host of the john gibson show. and he cackles in delight our new york times correspondet. good to see you, pinch. >> today times panelists ask is it healthier to love the body you have or strive to be fit? on a personal note i have come to love my body. ♪ we're headed to the bar ♪ no shoes ♪ no shirt ♪ we still get service i have passion in my pants ♪ ♪ and i apt afraid to show it ♪ ♪ i'm sexy and i know it ♪ wiggle, wiggle, wiggle >> nice. >> it is nice, my body. >> why do we start this show with you? >> wiggle, wiggle ?ie. can we have it both ways when it comes to gays? it is getting harder. the vp said he is, quote, absolutely comfortable, end quote with same-sex marriage and deemed the right to marry. it put obama in a pickle. he says his own thinking is, well, what is the word? >> the president was asked and he said his views -- his perm views on this -- hi

it is my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz. and he is doing our show in between his shifts at hot topic and the piercing pagoda. the star of the lifetime series, writer and comedian, jesse joyce. it is called pro joyce. and, that is enough about him, he loves to vent about the 1%. tabooed to see you, pinch. good to see you, pinch. >> tyler kepner stars don madingly who is happy being a dodger. as for his exmustache, dejected. he is alone and hoping john stocil splits and his former mustache will start dating again. greg? >> thank you. >> they are flipping through mags as the terror trial lags. on saturday the hearing for the self-proclaimed master find evolved into a holy mess as they made every effort to disrupt the proceeding. he refused to speak because as his lawyer put it, he was deeply concerned with the fairness of the proceedings. instead they prayed, red the koran and one even placed a paper airplane on the my microphone. and adding to the farce, one of the lawyers were drawn here. they suggested the women on the prose

and my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz. and if insightful commentary were jury duty i would do him with 11 random strangers. his latest book is called how to bleep in public. see, i saved the editors work. and our new york times correspondent. good to see you, pinch. >> today the times reviews the movie based on the book "when you to expect when you are expecting." it can be expected they are infants to be thrown into mormon youth m cay pes when they enter the world and then given reagan-omics and de calf. >> very unform tiff. >> yes, i am all the news that is fit to print. you may want to lower the camera because you can see bill's sleeve. yes. >>> is he backtracking when it comes to back taxing? even he has limits. during an interview on french tv, they have television in france, the actor changed his tune after hearing the new president proposed raising the rate to 75%. >> yes, that is different. >> french tv is annoying. how can they get through that? chuck schumer and another senator who is not chuck schumer talk to pe

it is bill schulz. and mall security at the local food court have his picture up in the break room. sit -- sitting next to me, it is called pro joyce. and his reporting is damnables. good to see you, pinch. >> today times writer reports that george lucas' rich neighbors are angry he is selling land to a developer to bring in low income housing. every house is to be built on a tree so it can house an ewok or wookie family of limited means. said one recipient -- greg? >> keep going. and then there was any wok that says, yubnub. yubnub. >>> a second district house race wants to put the grass in cong-rass. he says he will smoke a joint on the steps of capitol hill. andy capray is focused on battling climate change. who isn't? but he is pro pot, regularly smoking marijuana on the campaign trail. he wants nothing less than full legalization. >> it is a plant. it is a plant like so many other plants that provides medicines for people. and this is one of the most harmless recreational intoxicant there is. certainly such more benign than alcohol. >> there is your spokesman. meanwhile on mond

and my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz. and he was the star of "battle star galactica" and" the a team" a legend and first time guest dirk benedict. that was great. and he is not worth a dime because his articles are slime. good to see you, pinch. >> scientists have found a livering, breathing example of the composite girlfriend in the obama tomb "dreams of my father" and you are looking at it. that's right, it is me. what i lack in appendages i more than make up for in mouth. it is more like dreams of my paper, am i right, mr. president? >> thank you. >> you are welcome. >> no idea what that meant. >>> did he muddle the truth of a girl from his youth. and barack obama's 1995 auto-biography "get er done" the life of me, barack obama future president of the usa, he writes about a new york girlfriend and describing her appearance and man riches in great detail. the president admitted that she was a composite character based on a number of ex's he had had. in the book, obama mentions taking the new york girlfriend seeing a pla

. >> thank you, andy, laura, bill schulz, that does it for me. i'm greg gutfeld. see you tomorrow. >> bill: the o'reilly factor is on. tonight. >> no justice. >> no peace. >> bill: are some powerful american institutions intimidated by african-americans? the answer is yes and we will make that case this evening off the terrible mob assault in norfolk, virginia. >> what began as a dispute over a community center in lower manhattan has formed and grown into a much larger -- >> bill: finally the man behind the proposed mosque ground zero is coming on the factor. imam rauf and i will sort it all out. >> poke poke poker face. um momma, momma. >> bill: harry, larry king your charitable foundation is in trouble. not enough money going to the folks. garth brooks, andre august agassi. you have got problems too. john stossel is investigating. >> bill: caution, you are about to enter the no spin zone. the factor begins right now. >> bill: hi, i'm bill o'reilly. thanks for watching us tonight. why the media and politicians fear african-americans. that is the subject of this e

my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz. and he was called the funniest and best looking bald man in the business, but howie mandell was busy and so next to me was robert kelly looking sexy. and the nation throws a fit because he is full of -- crap. good to see you pinch. >> today in "the times" he writes of al-qaeda's long-time love of poetry. here is a translated selection. "relike flying into towers and hate taking showers. if you are into stoney women give us a holla. death to americans and praise allah." >> there you go. >> there we do go. >> i said that. >> i agree. >> i want to move on. it is saturday morning. >>> has a week in may ever been this gay? you couldn't lose with nonstraight news. to recap, obama came out in support of same-sex marriage. romney reportedly bullied a gay classmate 40 years ago. travolta was accused of masseuse abuse. and then to end his dizzying week we learned that queen, the band, will be touring with a hole law greatly -- hologram, and it is not adam lambert. freddy mercury will take cente

it is my sidekick, bill schulz. and he is so tough he brushes his teeth with a belt sander and gar gels with bleach and shaves with a lawn mower. it is terry safford. and our new york times correspondent, good to see you, pinch. >> writer judy blume asked the following question, are sex scenes filmed differently when it is from a women's perspective? haven't read the article, but the answer is, who cares ? dames couldn't vote when i was born, so don't bore me with this crap and give me porn. or as they used to call it, stag films. >> those were the days. collecting the postcards from the beach. >> the press room was filled exclusively with men, and we preferred it. >>> is it a sin to know about kim? the president has shown he is expert in all things kardashian after talking pop culture on "the view" on monday obama went from the white house to the smelly couch where the co-hosts grilled him on a certain celebrity. roll the tape. >> i have some questions. >> fire uh wai. >> let's see what you were read jig which kard

and his scabies have crabs, my sidekick bill schulz. and he is better looking than debbie and the only gibson in my life that matters. the great john gibson the host of the john gibson show. and he cackles in delight our new york times correspondent. good to see you, pinch. >> today times panelists ask is it healthier to love the body you have or strive to be fit? on a personal note i have come to love my body. ♪ we're headed to the bar ♪ no shoes ♪ no shirt ♪ we still get service i have passion in my pants ♪ ♪ and i apt afraid to show it ♪ ♪ i'm sexy and i know it ♪ wiggle, wiggle, wiggle >> nice. >> it is nice, my body. >> why do we start this show with you? >> wiggle, wiggle ?ie. can we have it both ways when it comes to gays? it is getting harder. the vp said he is, quote, absolutely comfortable, end quote with same-sex marriage and deemed the right to marry. it put obama in a pickle. he says his own thinking is, well, what is the word? >> the president was asked and he said his views -- his perm views on this -- h

bill schulz who thinks he is on the set of "tron." and he gets more ha, ha, ha's than a dojo. >> believe that. >> and his bosses are grieving because his readers are leaving. how are you, pinch? >> today in the times, it is the picture of a five-year-old boy, adore blee touching president obama's head that was in the oval office for three years now. oh, obama. ♪ it is hard to look right at you baby ♪ ♪ but here's my number ♪ so call me maybe >> i cannot wait for to you go out of business. >> it is a top 10 hit. i'm with it. >> be quiet. is going green a smoke screen? the environmental protection agency and nascar formed a sexy partnership to form eco-friendly products. and the deal covers everything except the racing. confirms an epa spokesman, quote, yes, the focus is on suppliers and programs and not green cars. the cars gulp two million gallons of gas a year. but everything else will be green. god bless america. nascar will expand the use of safer chemical products and push products with a small echo footprint and have fans

and my resols sigh sidekick, bill schulz. and if sharp commentary was a fender bender, i would give him my number after rear ending him. executive producer for imus in the morning. and our new york times correspondent, good to see you, pinch. >> they decide who is happier at home versus employed mothers. in my day the only women permitted to work, period, were the single kind, and they were reel law gated to assembly lines of breweries. one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, shamile, smalie. ♪ give us any chance we'll take it ♪ ♪ give us any rule we'll break it ♪ ♪ we're gonna make our dreams come true ♪ ♪ doing it our way put a glove on the bottle. >> it is still amazing we beat pierce morgan in the demo with that. >> he can't do what i do, happy days. >>> should they be sued for an image so crude? an expolice sigh -- an expolice sit porno mag has done something . in a recent issue of hustler sc cup engaging in a sex act under the headline "celebrity fantasy." the piece carries a disclaimer saying no i

my repulsive sidekick, bill schulz. and he is so british he sneezes crumpits. a first time guest from stud yow b and "the fox report" on fox newschannel. a real job. anyway, his lefty views earned him lots of booze. boos. good to see you pinch. >> the top three revelations in the mark zuckerberg profile, the ceo -- the fake book ceo enjoys hoodies. he handed it out over a steak din better it is founder. at the beginning of every new lunar cycle he spouts horns, wings and a tail and flies over to the google headquarters and deaf pho indicates on the roof while cackling ma. >>> clear. it was quite a scoop. >> it was. i am not interested in having a discussion with you. >> all right. >> is it okay to call obama gay? news week magazine saw "times" breastfeeding cover. do you remember that? and they raised them one gaylo. in the media obama had a halo and they made it a rainbow. they write the president's bold move to support same sex marriage wasn't political, but the culmination of three years of work. but not everyone agrees. some have condemned them calling it c

>> thanks, juliette, bill schulz, david angelo and michael . that does it for me. i shall stair at you lovingly until the show pulls away. >> bill: the o'reilly factor is on. tonight: >> mitt romney chose today to release his tax returns. ereveals what most americans will regard as unmanageable wealth. >> bill: while the three network evening newscasts are concentrating on mitt romney's wealth, they virtually ignore john kerry's vast fortune in 2004. we will have the facts and carl rove will analyze. >> you can hear that trayvon -- somebody trayvon hit the grass you? could hear something going on. >> yeah. >> bill: florida authorities release documents that say that trayvon martin had drugs in his bloodstream when he was killed and that a fight between the teen and george zimmerman did take place. geraldo with the latest. >> more than half a billion people use facebook every day. >> it's mind blowing from my perspective. >> >> shepard: and facebook exploding throughout the u.s.a. does that mean anything? lou dobbs will tell us. caution, you are about to enter the n

and he was pawned more times than my old guitar, bill schulz. and he has been called the comedic voice of an urban generation. but dave chapelle is no where to be found. >> this is a tan, by the way. >> and he is stropped -- strapped for cash because his timing is trash. >> they review "dark shadows" that is the eighth film by johnny depp and tim burton. who could forget the performance that they brought out in the actor in the summer blockbuster that was "hotel for dogs" johnny's role as the baron vaughn cutie-patootie has been described as a role and something by the hollywood reporter. greg? >> that is completely inaccurate. hotel for dogs was not a tim burton film. >> it was a tim burton film and how dare you question my editorial staff. >>> should he hang for cutting bang? according to the washington post, when mitt was at a prep school he had a hankering for a preppery. and one time he held down a friend and cut his hair. romney was apparently irked at the long pleached -- bleached long locks. team mitt grabbed scissors and told another fr

anna gilligan, bill schulz, joe devito, that does it for me, i'm greg gutfeld. i shall stand here awkwardly and look at you. s bill o'reilly. >> bill: the o'reilly factor is on. tonight: >> it seems as though we have put money over everything else. our lives are more important than the almighty dollar. >> shepard: a new poll says nearly half of the democrats in america believe rich people do no good for the country. i am taking that personally and will retort in kind. >> i think same sex couples should be able to get married. >> bill: "newsweek" magazine declares president obama a saint for supporting gay marriage. bernie goldberg has some thoughts. >> you have to wonder what is an editor of a newspaper thinking? >> bill: and brit hume let's the "the washington post" have it for its front page storing depicting mitt romney as high school bully. >> the way it was handled, ridiculous. >> bill: caution, you are about to enter the no spin zone. the factor begins right now. >> bill: hi, i'm bill o'reilly. thanks for watching us tonight. does a democratic party hate t

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schulz, anthony and joe. that does it for me. i'm greg gutfeld. see you next time. rnalists of fx news, i'm shepard smith. opinion and analysis now. >> bill: the o'reilly factor is on, tonight. >> trayvon was hunted down like a rabed dog. he was shot in the street. >> abc news reporting and fox news confirming that george zimmerman had extensive injuries after his confrontation with trayvon martin. will this turn that murder case around? we will have the very latest. [chanting] we are not afraid. we are not afraid. >> bill: feds say 36% of the american workforce is not working. will that lead to riots in the streets if the entitlements are cut back? ben stein says yes. >> because of the steps we took. the economy is much stronger than it was when i came into office. >> dennis miller has some thoughts on president obama'sview appearance. miller also with some advice for mitt romney. >> shake it off, let's roll. >> bill: caution. you where to enter the no spin zone. the factor begins right now. >> bill: hi, i'm bill o'reilly, thanks for watching us tonight. stunning n