ha ha ha ha ha! ha ha ha ha ha. it is time for us to flex our positive attitudes. we show a lot of bad news on this show. we also want to show you that there's always a bright side, even if you have to look harder sometimes. for example, the bad news -- the good news -- everything in those boxes is now on sale! [ applause ] okay. the bad news -- the good news -- come on. did you really think we'd kill off a puppy? the bad news -- woman: hello. i bet that's a bit hard work for you. the good news -- they got a gas station on the corner. okay. the bad news -- man: look at the dog. i mean, it's just -- oh, look at this. oh, look at this. the good news -- they didn't get the leather interior. the bad news... [ baa ] the good news -- the good news -- lamb chops for everybody! no! [ audience cheering ] oh, no. all right. here's some more good news -- another finalist. this one originally appeared in our segment on "how to buy your dog a gift." man: good morning. man: getting the wrong gift for your dog can cause stress between you and your pet. this little fellow wanted s

ha ha ho, ha ha ho. ha. [ laughter ] look, 47% of voters are never going to vote for me and that's a fact. basically, the only guaranteed vote i got right now is nicki minaj. i got that super bass, super bass, boom, boom, boom, super bass. i wear bass shoes, they're very comfortable. [ laughter ] look, we've got to get back to the issues that are affecting our country. unemployment is up, wages are down. the american people are hurting. especially the ones that have been in a car with amanda bynes. ha ha ha ha. [ laughter ] we've got to get back to the things that make this country great. a strong workforce, powerful defense, an "american idol" with only three judges, not four. we already have that show. it's called "the voice." holla. [ laughter ] ha ha ha. oh. listen, i put my foot in my mouth sometimes. what can i say? i'm human. i breathe the same air you breathe. i eat the same things that you eat. i enjoy the same things that your species seem to enjoy. [ laughter ] in conclusion, i'm glorgon the p

ha ha ho, ha ha ho. ha. [ laughter ] look, 47% of voterarnever going to vote for me and that's a fact. basically, the only guaranteed vote i got right now is nicki minaj. i got that super bass, super bass, boom, boom, boom, super bass. i wear bass shoes, they're very comfortable. [ laughter ] look, we've got to get back to the issues that are affecting our country. unemployment is up, wages are down. the american people are hurting. especially the ones that have been in a car with amanda bynes. ha ha ha ha. [ laughter ] we've got to get back to the things that make this country great. a strong workforce, powerful defense, an "american idol" with only three judges, not four. we already have that show. it's called "the voice." holla. [ laughter ] ha ha ha. oh. listen, i put my foot in my mouth sometimes. what can i say? i'm human. i breathe the same air you breathe. i eat the same things that you eat. i enjoy the same things that your species seem to enjoy. [ laughter ] in conclusion, i'm glorgon the power

." ha-ha.":59 hafernick says::" we've been calling it the flight of the living ead.." dead.." zombie bees, are infected with a parasite,, the colorffl nickname was given for the way they act. they aree't a threat to humans... but they do pose a threat to the honey bee population. --- react to sttry --- beautiful weather for the past few ays... but we do have pome rainnin the forecast. &pchief meteerooogist vytas reid... 3 tte ravens havveput the the browns...bruce cunningham has that story next in sports. p bit of a bump in the road forthe oriiles last night... after winning the opener off their doubleheader wwth toronto,they dropped the nighcap...nd it dropped thee back in the race for tte al eas. east..the yankees won last niihjt,,protecting their slim divisional lead...but the loss pn tte second game dropped the birdssa half game further back...they now trail the yankees by a game and a half ...the doubleheader was a result of a rainout earlier this season....and it's a tuff thing to ddto t

ha ha ha ha ha! down at the market. um, ha ha! i know. yeah, actually, i was at the market shopping, doing my sunday morning routine and i went by their booth, and i was looking for the right goat cheese to feature here at grange and basically to become our, you know, true local chee. >> soon after we arrived, chef tuohy came in as a customer and started to purchase our product, and he came for many weeks. probably 3 or 4 or 5 weeks. um, we didn't know who he was. he was just an individual, just another customer. and he was, uh, very complimentary, of course, on our product, and then he introduced himself, uh, who he was and that they were starting the new restaurant downtown. >> sourcing local ingredients has always been at the top of michael's list in terms of planning out his menus at grange, but getting to visit the farm, make his own cheese, and meet the goats behind all of it, well, that was way too much to ignore. and thus a farm friendship was born. >> and so these are the ones that, um, you ordered, that'll go back to the grange

ha ha ha ha! how you doin', man? >> i'm doin' great. >> are you havin' a great time >> havin' a great time. >> in the wine business, everyone is trying to get their bottle of wine noticed, but for mac mcdonald, being noticed in a crowd has never been a oblem. from his overalls to his straw hat, mac is about as an original character to the wine industry as it comes, but he's banking on exactly that fact as he tries to bridge the gap between his heritage and a new blend of wine drinkers. >> it's to promote wine to all nationalities, but with special interest on the african-american community. and i think that it's good for the wine industry. i don't say you have to drink african-american wine. i just want folks to drink wine. you may not like vision cellars phnot noir. that's ok. >> and mac couldn't have come into the industry at a better time. new research shows that only a handful of wineries are actually owned by african-americans, yet they make up more than 10% of the nation's wine drinkers, whi

you had to go buble studio. >> ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! >> jimmy: is that true? >> do you want me to be killed? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: don't kill me. >> okay. >> jimmy: but you had to go to his place, right? >> well, we went to a place, a different place. and there was -- you know. >> jimmy: why, he wouldn't -- everyone else came to see you. he wouldn't do it? >> everyone else came to my house and sang -- >> jimmy: except for buble. >> except for -- do you -- >> jimmy: i don't want you to get killed. no, i don't. i really don't. i like you. but, there's a name i don't know, dorothy shackleford. who is that? you discovered her? >> that's -- that is my mother singing on the christmas album. [ audience aws ] >> jimmy: that is your mother? >> yeah. [ cheers and applause ] you talk about -- you think -- she is -- we actually wrote that song together for the album. and it's kind of the song about going back home, being with your family for christmas. i said, "mom, i want you to sing this with me on my album." and it was like, "well, i mean, i don't like how country i s

i'm not in this race to slow the rise of the oceans or to heal the planet. >> ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. day nashtion the president rightly points out the floods and wild fires created by climate change are not a joke, so why does mitt romney repeatedly say this kind of thing? is he so desperate to hang onto the gop base that he has to? >> well, it does seem at times that the sea of self-contradiction is rising up to romney's chin here and he has been at various places on global warming leading among many other issues here. it's the old dance that he's still not exactly confident in his base. he's doing better. the paul ryan pick made it better, but he still needs to bring his base out in large numbers, so he's risking ali alienating the vast majority of people in the middle who say it sounds like there's a scientific con consensus on here. >> here is how he defined his position. he says, my best assessment of the data is that the world is getting warmer, that human activity contributes to that warming. yet, one sentence later he writes, however, there remains a lack of scientific consen

ha-ha-ha. >> ha-ha. >> but, so, just, food for thought. i love those kind of studies. >> very interesting. >> won't -- >> something for y'all to just chew on. chew on that. >> playing off that last little bit of information. does, you know, your girlfriend help dress you and pick out your outfits. >> i ask advice. i don't like her shirt/tie combination i go with mine. >> my husband has much more style sense than i do. this study out of britain says that more than half of men confess that they rely on the woman in their life, their spouse, or, partner, to pick out their outfits for the next day. on the rare occasions that they do choose their outfits half admit that they ask their partner or mom to approve the ensemble. one of four asks their wife or girlfriend to shop for them. guys get ready in less than two minutes. not fair. rob is in the makeup chair, how long. i acm in more like ten hours. >> you are more complicated creatures if i will ask jenny. am i dressed okay? do you look shopping with yourself or other people? >> i hate shoppin

ha-ha-ha. >> ha-ha. >> but, so, just, food for thought. i love those kind of studies. >> very interesting. >> won't -- >> something for y'all to just chew on. chew on that. >> playing off that last little bit of information. does, you know, your girlfriend help dress you and pick out your outfits? >> i ask advice. i don't like her shirt/tie combination. i go with mine. >> you do? >> i do, yeah. >> my husband has much more style sense than i do. this study out of britain says that more than half of men confess that they rely on the woman in their life, their spouse or partner, to pick out their outfits for the next day. on the rare occasions that they do choose their outfits half admit that they ask their partner or mom to approve the ensemble. one of four asks their wife or girlfriend to shop for them. most guys get ready in less than two minutes. i say complete ly minutes. not fair. rob is in the makeup chair, how long? i am in more like ten hours. >> you are more complicated creatures if i will ask jenny. am i dressed okay? do you look s

ha ha ho, ha ha ho, ha. >> let's see the leaves are falling. temperatures are falling. romney's poll numbers are falling. it must be autumn. >> mitt romney's words give late night comedians one of their best weeks. he became the punch line. romney's elegant explanation of the secret tapes inspired stephen colbert to get fancy. >> i will now deliver mitt's core message, but this time with a little more panache. unfortunately, two score of 7% will vote for my opponent, that socialist hotten to the. bring me the mindless masses. come on, come in. see how they love it? see? stop being a victim. oh, winslow, winslow, take them away. they depress me, and they smell like shrimp. out, out. >> hilarious. hilarious. "saturday night live" found enough material for a special thursday night edition. >> this first question is worth $25. >> that's okay. we're not going to answer questions for a quarter. >> so, that's $25. >> right. which is a quarter of $100. is there any other type of quarter? i don't understand. >> as for his claim that it's not his job to worry about americans who

but to say it has mass is to say it has inertia. to say it has inertia is to say it tends to stay right there. that's a tendency. now what i'm gonna do is i'm going to flip this tablecloth and i'm gonna pull it like this. and you're gonna guess what is gonna happen to the block. will the block stay essentially where it is? will it recoil, come down here and hit the cylinder or will it follow along in the direction it's pulled? check your neighbor. take a guesstimate, make a hypothesis. all right. here we go, gang. which way? a-one, two, three. [laughter] stapled, they're stapled. hey, this illustrates newton's zeroth law of motion. that's stay on your toes, gang. be skeptical. these little staples provided a force that made it move, see? so there was a force. but what if the staples weren't there? and what do we have down here, gang? we have some plates. no staples, no velcro, the tablecloth. this is what i want you to do over the weekend when you get invited to dinner at someone else's house, okay? they say, "hey, what are you lear

ha a ha ha."so far, noophone calls. but kimberly simply refuses tt see anything but a silver lining.. "i feel like i'm on the right path. and it's good knowing this is the path that god intended for me." -----end-----cnn.script------ troubles continue today... for american airlines. airlines.why the airline is flights through october. [ female announcer ] with the 2-in-1 swiffer sweeper, a great clean doesn't have to take long. i'm done. are you thinking what i'm thinking? ♪ give me just a little more time ♪ okay. all right. oh! [ female announcer ] the 2-in-1 swiffer sweeper uses electrostatic dry cloths to clean better than a broom. and its wet mopping cloths can clean better than a mop in half the time so you don't miss a thing. mom, have you seen my -- hey! hey! he did it. [ female announcer ] swiffer. better clean in half the time. or your money back. -reporter pkg-as follows --six million people are expected to pay a penalty for not having health insurance in 2016. that's a big ump from two years ago, when the

he has a normal iq, he has been divorced and remarried. he has no history of psychiatric illness. oddly, has worked as a correctional officer for a while. he has worked as a schoolteacher. 16 years ago, he hit his head and knocked himself unconscious. no kind of neurological events following that. for the last year, he has had some migraines. he started using pornography on the internet. he started soliciting sex from women working in massage parlors. he reports that he has a very high sex drive and conceals his behavior because he feels that it is wrong. there is a picture. [laughter] in 2010, he makes some subtle sexual advances to his stepdaughter. mom find out about this and brad is legally removed from the home and diagnosed as a pedophile. he is chemically castrated in treatment to try to reduce his sexual behavior. he is found guilty of child molestation and he is sent to a sexual addiction facility or jail. brad chooses rehab. in rehab, he starts being inappropriate. staff. he starts to solicit sex from other clients. he has some of bedwetting. the night before he goes to

but he has asked the constitutional court to -- >> he has asked the constitutional court to delay its decision. >> these new tools were championed by the german chancellor herself. >> the court is reviewing its request that it review its long- awaited ruling on whether to let it bailout fund pass into law. peter gauweiler file the request in light of the central bank's announcement that it will buy unlimited amounts of bonds from troubled eurozone countries. for the far left, too, it is reason for a rethink. >> if the european central bank goes this way, we will not need a bailout mechanism. the bank itself will do the bailing out. it will not have to consult any parliament. >> the ecb's decision to buy barnes has raised fears that national parliaments -- buy bonds has raised fears that national parliaments will be sidelined. the president of the german parliament try to ease those fears. >> whatever justifiable objections may be raised regarding individual measures, what is certain is that it will definitely remain subject to parliamentary debate and consideration. >> germany's oppos

has been at times a cruel teacher, but it has also been a great gift in my life because what it has done, it has taught me to be more compassionate and caring for those who are suffering. i know people are suffering right now. for people to think we don't have empathy just because we're not suffering like they're suffer something ridiculous. it's ridiculous to think that you can't have empathy for somebody that's struggling. our life has always been devoted to those that are struggling more than we are and i was grateful for the opportunity that we had at the convention for others to speak up and talk about the kind of lives we've led and in particular for mitt, who really has been demonized in many ways as many heartless, and for people to stand up and say, excuse me, he was there when my son was dying of leukemia, he came to my son's bedside, he did all of these things for my son. and another woman saying how mitt was there for her. there's hundreds of those stories that haven't been told. and it was refreshing to me for the american people to finally be able to see the lens throu

has been at times a cruel teacher, but it has also been a great gift in my life because what it has done, it has taught me to be more compassionate and caring for those who are suffering. i know people are suffering right now. for people to think we don't have empathy just because we're not suffering like they're suffer something ridiculous. it's ridiculous to think that you can't have empathy for somebody that's struggling. our life has always been devoted to those that are struggling more than we are and i was grateful for the opportunity that we had at the convention for others to speak up and talk about the kind of lives we've led and in particular for mitt, who really has been demonized in many ways as many heartless, and for people to stand up and say, excuse me, he was there when my son was dying of leukemia, he came to my son's bedside, he did all of these things for my son. and another woman saying how mitt was there for her. there's hundreds of thosetold. and it was refreshing to me for the american people to finally be able to see the lens through which i see my husband a

he has since retired. he has been married twice. he has raised four children. he has lived an extraordinary life. i am grateful for having had him in my life as a guidepost. i do think it is the ultimate irony that he turned out to be a police officer. >> we have some other questions. very good questions. we do not have much time. i work at san quentin prison. they segregate inmates based on color and gangs. why do prisons not work on educating inmates on social relations, racial tolerance, and why don't they find a way so the different races can get to know each other? >> i would like to enter that. segregation has -- i would like to answer that. segregation has always been a problem in this country. i grew up in new orleans. we believe that education is the key. we all need to sit at the table. i do not believe in segregation for inmates. they need to tear that barrier down and put people together, no matter what. when we go inside the walls of san quentin, it is not just black inmates. it is hispanic, pacific islanders, white, native americans, it is everybo

there has been another convention -- conviction in the scandal that has rocked the nation's leadership. a former police officer has been sentenced to 15 years in jail. been a the relationship turned -- >> the relationship turned sour. he fled the u.s. consulate and given permission that led to the toppling of julybo x -- of bo xilai. >> a taiwan-based company which assembles components for apple computers has closed one of its factories in northern china after a massive fight among its workers erupted at a company dormitory. >> around 2000 workers were involved. foxconn says the trouble started when a personal dispute got out of control. comments posted on the internet came -- claim that factory guards had severely beaten workers, which prompted a further escalation of violence. it is not clear how long this shutdown will last. we will check on the mood among german business leaders in just a minute. >> the mood is not very good. first, let's take a look at some of the other stories making the news. >> flooding and landslides that killed at least 33 people in northeast india. heavy rai

he has repeatedly told his wife that he has been beaten by prison guards. since the video was released, the whole country has been talking about abuse in prisons. this woman has never been interested in politics, but she came out to protest along with thousands of other people in georgia. they say president saakashvili should step down. >> i support these people because they want to help me. with the elections coming, i could not just sit at home and do nothing. i had to come in protest -- and protests. >> the mass protests were prompted by this footage. it shows guards torturing inmates in a tbilisi prison. the footage is said to have been secretly filmed by a former prison worker. the nation is in shock. miranda is among those who fear the scand could destabilize the country. the videos were first broadcast by two tv stations closely associated with the billionaire opposition leader. miranda supports saakashvili and is concerned the scandal could damage his chance of being returned to office. >> the standard of living has gone up here in the past few year

in a lifetime but there has to be a reputation of holiness and has to be a consensus among those that knew the person that this person lived a very devout life a very holy life l.f. of heroic virtue but then someone has to push the cause of has some times have to be a religious order particular individual whose cause was a valid religious brother or sister or it could be a dialysis the bishopric push across if it was somewhat in his diocese or another organization as well. >>> and it's not an easy thing to begin if to compile volumes contemporary people today whose causes for st. louis are being followed the archbishop fulton just declared venerable but they said the raw volumes and volumes that they had to acquire about his life and the thing city did. >>> and a lot of interviews that had to be done of people living that knew him and also a lot that was written about him as well and in view of his own writings to find out with the quality of those were and whether there was anything in there that would be problematic or opposed to the fate and they haven't found any of that. >>> and

he has not always had this position, but since he has adopted his present position, it has been clear. he has favored the usual exceptions. the obama campaign has in two tv ads repeated this utterly false claim. i do not think we would hear that out of the mouth of the president. do you share my view that the candidates are more circumspect in person than they are -- and their campaigns are in advertising? or is it just the president, not mitt romney? what do you think? >> particularly in a high-stakes situation like a debate, we are talking about the debates, i think it will be more circumspect. i cannot offhand think of a claim that they would or would not say, but it a whole different matter when you are right next to that person and they are able to respond and say, actually -- you saw during the campaign debates that there were moments when they would turn to each other and say, you got four pinocchios for that. that was pants on fire. you do not want to get into a situation where you are exposed in that way, particularly with the internet, people can quickly look these things up

but it has also been a great gift in my life because what it has done, it has taught me to be more compassionate, and caring for others who are suffering. and i know that people are suffering right now. for people to think that we don't have empathy just because we're not suffering like they're suffering is ridiculous. it's ridiculous to think that you can't have empathy for somebody that's struggling. our lives have always been devoted to those that are struggling more than we are. and i was grateful for the opportunity that we had at the convention for others to speak up and talk about the kind of lives we've led, and in particular, for mit who really has been demonized in many ways as being heartless. and for people to stand up and say, excuse me, he was there when my son was dying of leukemia. he came to my son's bedside. he did all of these things for my son. and then another woman saying how mitt was there for her. so there's hundreds of those stories that haven't been told. and it was refreshing for me, for the american people, to finally be able to see the lens through which i see my hus