mmm mmm mmm mmm mmm it's beggin'! mmm, i love you. (announcer) beggin' strips...there's no time like beggin' time. she can't always move the way she wants. until now. only stayfree ultra thin offers flex fit for movement, thermocontrol® for dryness, and free fitness classes with purchase. so keep moving. stayfree. [ gasps ] were you looking for this? seems the drive-thru is closed tonight. instead... velveeta cheesy skillets. [ horse nays in background ] just brown the meat. stir in the noodles, seasoning, then smite them... smite them with the liquid gold until there can be no more smiting. hmmm yes... [ spoken faintly ] liquid gold. very nice. very nice. very nice. here's your sports illustrated. very nice. wait a minute. what was that? oh. uh... i don't like it anymore. so you're giving up reading altogether? i still have cereal boxes. unless count chocula suddenly lowers his standards. you want to tell me what's going on here? nothing. sports illustrated used to be good. now it's bad. they have no credibility. no taste. oh, ray.

mmm-mmm-mmm. come on, dad,what are ya do? that was a tribute? you didn't like it? it was stupid. and it was so short. we kinda went with a fastmtv ki. well, i didn't get it. hot with marshmallows?le i told yato get rid of that. it was cute. frank, what are you doing? come on, marie,we'r. what are you talkin' about?this. it's not so biganym. you didn't evenfinish your stea. i'm not hungry. shoulda dressedlike. they top it off with sweet honey and a kick of cracked black pepper in their signature honey pepper sauce. and they top that top off with crispy fried jalapenos and onions. and to top the top of that top off, it's on their famous 2 for $20 menu. applebee's new honey pepper sirloin. see you tomorrow. i don't do any cleaning. i make dirt. ♪ very, very heavy. i'm not big enough or strong enough for this. there should be some way to make it easier. [ doorbell rings ] [ morty ] here's a box, babe. open it up. oh my goodness! what is a wetjet? some kind of a mopping device. there's a lot of dirt on here. morty, look at how easy it is. it's almost like dancing. [ both humming ] t

mmm! thank you! mmm! mmm! people have been daring them to clean up tough messes. my fans think a paper towel can't handle this. ♪ that is tough when wet. [ peggy ] grab viva and break the rules on all your tough messes. they top it off with sweet honey and a kick of craed black pepper in their signature honey pepper sauce. and they top that top off with crispy fried jalapenos and onions. and to top the top of that top off, it's on their famous 2 for $20 menu. applebee's new honey pepper sirloin. see you tomorrow. it's on their famous 2 for $20 menu. ♪ don't disguise bad odors in your trash. neutralize them and freshen. with glad odorshield with febreze. father hubley?] what? oh, raymond. yeah. how you doing,father? i was just inthe neighborhood, . did you want something? yeah, um... listen, i'm just--i'm having th, and all the real shrinksare boo. how flattering. so, can i sit? not in my chair. to talk to somebody.s ie we hadthis discussion. fight. not really a fight.i me. well,the jelly doughnut. what did

mmm! thank you! mmm! mmm! [clanging] where am i? ma. i had the strangesdream. oh, come on, ma. all right, i was hungry. i'd offer you some,but i don't . ma, whatabout y? [beep] come on. i wass. at makes me happy.dowhatever its yes, i did, but i-- well, you knowwhat makes me hap? butter. butter makes me happy. yeah. ha ha ha! mmm! oh, mmm! this is goodfor restaurant food. the danger zone?hol? to the danger zone. i'll worry about it.anger zone, besides, it's thanksgiving. well, the least i can do is keep you fromeating . ha. let's sit.come on. ? yeah. here. ok. yeah. ha ha ha. oh, boy.want some of that? yeah. here's potatoes.those are great. whoo! aha! i said, aha! what are youdoing here? i rolled over in bedand sudo greato stop me.arie so muchfor your willpower. you going to talkor you goi? i'm in! hey, i wascruising by. i saw dad come-- hey. i get it. for robert, tofu andthe brussels wait till he goes on shift,and ! there. sit down. thanks. take breaths, dad.t. want some gravy,raymond? yup. yup, yup, yup, yup. ok. you wantanything el? bring it on.what have you g? marie: here we

mmm! thank you! mmm! mmm! into an easy dinner with crescent dogs. just separate, add hot dogs, cheese, roll 'em up, and bake. lookin' hot, c-dog. pillsbury crescents. make dinner pop. he loves me. he loves me not. he loves me. he loves me not. ♪ he loves me! that's right. [ mom ] warm and flaky in 15, everyone loves pillsbury grands! [ girl ] make dinner pop! everwhat?n music plays]y grands! nothing. this is nice. raymond. peace be with you. captions made possible by talk productions ok. have fun drivingou later. your little scooters. they're not scooters, ok? they're professional go-karts. you know they're go-karts. hey, good news, raymond. they had "the meat lovers pizza special" today. you order one meat-lovers, you get another free meat-lovers. after breaking up with amy, i know you swore off women. but i don't think turning to meat is the answer. very funny. that's a good one. i got side salads and wings, too-- all for the big game. all right? so fire up the satellite, because the food's gonna be here any minute. oh, man. robert, i completely

mmm! thank you! mmm! mmm! - oh, here's one. did i ever tell you about the time that my brothers videotaped the lottery announcement and bought the winning numbers the next day, and then, played the tape for me the next week-- - and you thought you guys were millionaires. - you heard that one. - yes, but there's--wait. oh! there's a funny ending to that story. i can't remember. - that i thought we were millionaires. - that you thought you were millionaires. - yep. - that's funny. - shoot, i knew that one! - that's all right. - the senator and i still have mystery. i'm always waiting to see what he's gonna surprise me with next. [spits] [coughs] - you all right? - you support the taliban abroad, so i assume you're willing to live by their rules here. - anything else would be inconsistent. - will you join me then in a pledge to live by taliban law in this office? - absolutely, i will. i feared nelly had some sort of a plan, but she used a ridiculous font. [snorts] [in cockney accent] you don't have a plan! - when

mmm. mmm. mmm. this is nice! this is nice. move in here. very sweet. ah! i'll check us in. all right. very cool! very cool. we are gonna find out where the action is, my friend. okay. where's the concierge? yes. wallace said there would be one of those. mmm, bingo. follow moi, bro-sieur. wow! [chuckles] what about a nice sushi place? maybe a place with a view? tsk. oh. matsuki. that's a good one. uh, you may walk there if you wish or you may take the number 17 bus until 9:00. other than that, you can take the taxi, and the number is right there. wow! wow. i'm blown away by this. i, um... i--ah! this is great. thank you. one final question. um. where might you find yourself on a winnipeg night like tonight? oh, the huntsman is good. the huntsman. down here. the financial district. mm-hmm. a concierge is the winnipeg equivalent of a geisha. this is a woman who has been trained in the ne art of fanciness and pleasure. and when you meet one, it is intoxicating. just what the doctor ordered. can't believe this. [sighs] are you sure? (pam over phone) i just talked to my advisor.

mmm. >> ming: mmm, great. not bad. >> fantastic. thank you so much, ming. >> ming: oh. >> mmm. >> ming: notice you're not being hot. thank you so much. >> it's my pleasure, thank you. >> ming: all you out there, as always, oven roast, peace, and good eating. for more information on simply ming, including upcoming guests and more, visit us online at ming.com/simplyming. funding for simply ming is provided by: >> ocean spray. for over 75 years our grower-owners have been harvesting cranberries to bring you and your family products liked craisins, sweetened dried cranberries-- a versatile snack that's surprisingly sweet. ocean spray-- straight from the bog. >> ming: and by... >> t-fal's actifry. one spoon of oil for two pounds of fries and many other meals. >> ming: and by... >> simply caring about the planet. it's what makes a subaru a subaru. subaru of new england, a proud sponsor of simply ming. >> ming: and by... >> melissa's world variety produce is a proud sponsor of simply ming. >> ming: and by... >> wan ja shan soy sauce-- simp

. >> como estÁ mal de salud mmm... peor. >> o por quÉ no se va a su casa doctor que a lo mejor la niÑa ya llegÓ allÁ. >> tambiÉn. >> pueda ser demÁs que sÍ, muchas gracias. >> en todo caso disculpen. >> doctor que estÉ muy bien. >> sÍ, permiso. >> mira le da una grabadora para rumo bar aquÍ hoy. >> pago. >> ay! ya. >> no llores mÁs ¿si?. >> ¿cÓmo no voy a llorar mira la hora que es, leonel me va a matar, debe estar desesperado. >> fuerza que maÑana salimos, relÁjate que no va a pasar nada. >> sÍ claro, no fui a la casa a dormir, nada mÁs es eso. >> (risas). >> pero es que a vos se te ocurre insultar un policÍa, ante agradece que salimos maÑana y no en ocho dÍas. >> pero bien que se lo tenÍa merecido el morboso. >> en serio, leonor me va a matar. >> pero cuÁl es el miedo?. >> ni que te fuera a pegar. >> si se pone muy ale to' so pues lo abrÍs. >> es un buen hombre, me quiere y yo tambiÉn lo quiero a el, pues yo no lo quiero dejar y tampoco quiero que Él me deje es z maÑana le explicas y todo b

[whistling tune] mmm! tuna fish. where's that can opener? it's in the drawer. what? the can opener is in the utensil drawer! rightie-oh. ah. yeah, i bought a new one. oh. did we need a new can opener? it's better! ok? it cuts from the side so there's no sharp edges. how does this thing work? you put it on the can! you twist the thing! you open...the can! [sighs] great! a better can opener! ha ha ha ha! what's so funny? whoop! whoop! whoa! ha ha ha! ha ha ha ha! would you look at this? oh...use a fork! god. hmm? oop. [exasperated sigh] was...was there somethin' wrong with the other can opener? there's nothing wrong with this can opener. [chuckling] no, nothing's wrong, honey. i mean, i would've preferred the tuna on bread, but, you know, it's... it's just as delicious right out of the sink. ha ha ha ha! this is the can opener i bought. ok, ray? because it's better. it's not stupid, and i'm not stupid! [clunk] what'd i say? and i'm not exaggerating. it's just that sometimes he's such a jerk! given. details? last night. ok? the kids are a mess. i'm tryin' to hold everyt

> mmm, delioso. y cuando necesitamos altas temperaturas, solo apretamos un boton y nos vamos hasta los 575 grados, para hacer bisteces, luego lo bajamos a 350 y podemos parrilla, chuletas de puerco, salmon, incluso vegetales a la parrilla. >> bien, la temperatura para freir es 375 grados, especialmente si usamos aceite vegetal, queremos mantener la temperatura perfecta. asi es. >> mira esto... aqui vamos a probarlo, ponemos esto a 375 grados, dice 375, nuestro pollo se fe suavementey no se quemara. >> aqui en este quemor esta aqui abajo.bina electrica, >> puedo ver que, jenny, ha estado cocinando ahi. >> esto es lque ocurre, no es seguro. y no solo no es seguro, nunca se a quteeratura ta, siempre estoy adivinando. >> cuando comes esos estupendos pollos fritos en unae las cadenas comida, es porque ellos tienen fraidores caros, los ponen a 375 grados, pueden usar el mismo aceite todo el dia sin quemarla. pues ahora tenemos ese control eciso en casa con la estufa induccion precisa. dejenme darles un emp

que se seque. >> es asombroso. >> mmm! >>ujer 1: ¿que opinan? >> hace crujiente. >> puedefreir, puedes asar, vapozar... puedes hacer practicamente lo que queas, >> es asombroso nunca habia visto algo asi. >> me encanta cuando remueves cubierta. porque se apaga a olla, se para y las manijas estan frescas, eso es asombroso. >> ¿y san que s tiene de eno? es que eportatil... pueden llevarla a cualqui mesa, colocarla y setiene a 110 gros. siempre disponible en medio de sus intados y pueden usarl por el dia entero, cocinar y cocinar to el a. ¿y saben cual es la mejor parte de esto? es que puedeasar en la mesa. >> mmm... >> si ta lloviendo o hace frioaun asi pueden comer asados, cambiara la forma en que cocina. >> todos: si! >> esta estufa hace todo muy simple. queda todo como si lo ordenara de un restaunte. ahora puedo cocinar mer con este aparato. >> [risas] [♪.] >> anunciador: les presentamos la estufa dendon precisa de nave, los lideres en tecnologia portatil para cocinar con la precision de inccn. la esta nuwave calienta dos veces mas rapido,

. >> mmm... >> es asombroso. >> mmm! >> mujer 1: ¿que opinan? >> hace crujiente. >> puedes freir, puedes asar, vaporizar... puedes hacer practicamente lo que querias, me encanta. >> es asombroso nunca habia visto algo asi. >> me encanta cuando remueves la cubierta. porque se apaga la olla, se para y las manijas estan frescas, eso es asombroso. >> ¿y saben que mas tiene de bueno? es que es portatil... pueden llevarla a cualquier mesa, colocarla y se mantiene a 110 grados. siempre disponible en medio de sus invitados y pueden usarla por el dia entero, cocinar y cocinar todo el dia. ¿y saben cual es la mejor parte de esto? es que pueden asar en la mesa. >> mmm... >> si esta lloviendo o hace frio, aun asi pueden comer asados, cambiara la forma en que cocina. >> todos: si! >> esta estufa hace todo muy simple. queda todo como si lo ordenara de un restaurante. ahora puedo cocinar mejor con este aparato. >> [risas] [♪...] >> anunciador: les presentamos la estufa de induccion precisa de nuwave, los lideres en tecnologia portatil para cocinar con la p

>> mmm, delicioso. y cuando necesitamos altas temperaturas, solo apretamos un boton y nos vamos hasta los 575 grados, para her bistece luego bajamos a 350 y podemos hacer bellas salchicas a la parrilla, chuletas de puerco, salmon, e incluso vegetas a la parril. >> bien, la temperatura para freir 375 grados, especialmente si usamos eite vegetal, queremos mantener la temperatura perfecta. >> a es. >> mira esto... aqui vamos a proba ponemos esto a 375 grados, dice 375, nuestrpollo se fri suavemente, noe quemara. ai en este quemador esta una tipica bobina electrica, aqui abajo. >> puedo ver que, jenny, ha estado cocinando ahi. >> esto es lo que urre no es seguro. y no solo no es seguro, nunca se a que temperatura esta, siempre estoadivinando. >> cndo comes esos estupendos pollos fritos en una de las cadenas de comida, es porque ellos tienen fidores caros, los ponen a 375 grados, pueden usar el mismo aceite todo el dia sin quemarla. pues ahora tenemos ese control preciso en casa con la estufa de induccion pr

mmm, no, there's a hold on that, too. all of your accounts are frozen. are you sure? can you tell me why? no, i'll call my supervisor. that's okay. that's okay, i'll, um, i'll sort it out later. can i have an envelope? you were in there an awful long time. what's in your jacket? nothing. loan documents. it's gonna be a long, boring day. meetings. lacrosse practice. (knocking) hey. uh, they need you in the gym. somebody twisted their ankle. they want you to take a look. okay. thanks, morgan. what are you doing? i... just needed something for my stomach. why didn't you ask me? i forgot... i just... thought i'd get it myself. you know, you came in here last week complaining of nausea, morgan. probably just a stomach virus. you sure there's nothing else going on with you? you're not pregnant, are you? no! you can tell me the truth. i'm fine. there's nothing to tell. okay, let me get you something for your nausea. you know, if you were pregnant, you'd need to take care of yourself. obviously, no alcohol. prenatal vitamins. folic acid. and no stress. thanks, but it's just t

mmm-hmm. i know. the day you go do that, you have not just disrespected your would-be-girlfriend, the potential mother of your five children, you're disrespecting the kids, too. that's the family. that's their family! they have to go to holidays in that family. they have to play with their other little cousins in that family. why you all traipsing around in the family? why you keep sleeping with her cousin? jones: it's like this... you say that that's my child, and you say you going back to the same cousin, who was there from day one, that made me have these doubts. how could you continue to do that? you living your life as a mare right now. basically, every time i do something, you gotta go do it. okay, yeah, so i slept with his cousin a month ago. after that, we both made a vow to each other, that we're done. that there's no more of it. judge lake: okay. i kept my promise. i have not done nothing. he's doing everything, just like i said, yesterday on facebook, he's talking to girls. i have not done

mmm. thank you. oh. your hair looks nice. oh, yeah? sue helped me finish it off. i-it's not too frosted? no, no. in a couple weeks, it'll be perfect. (can fizzes) (yawns) oh, how long was i asleep? i'm starving. hey, you know what would be great? one of your grilled cheese sandwiches with the potato chips in the middle. (sniffles) i love the way you make 'em. uh, okay, could you not lean on my "people"? you're making it all crinkly. sorry. (sniffles) ahh. (sniffles) and, mom, in triangles, okay? i know. triangles. (crowd cheering) how do you guys survive with just basic cable? (turns tv off) mmm! thanks, mom. ooh. this looks good. (whiny voice) aw. no chips? (smacking) (normal voice) hey, how long do you think it would take to make some pudding, hmm? (slurps) mmm. (thud) are you mad? no. anything else i can get you on mother's day? see, now you sound mad. i mean, i just came all the way up here so you wouldn't be alone on mother's day. well, i'm sorry, but did you ever think maybe i wanted to be alone? you didn't want to be with your daughter on mother's day? oh,

mmm... i'll keep one. let's see, now. "kill spiders"? we don't have spiders. ( screams ) ( panicked whimpering, grunting ) yee! stupid spider! afraid of dying? ( grunting ) aha! huh? ( screaming ) ( relieved sigh ) ow! ow-how! what?! spider poison is people poison?! gaah! ( yelling ) bart! ( pained grunt ) hm, where's the pain? ( loud grunt ): oh! there it is! ( crying ): ow-ah-ah-ow! ( whimpering ) ( hisses ) a spider?! yech! aah! gaah! aah! gaah! ow! ( door continues pounding ) ow! ow! ( becoming quieter ): ow. ow. ow... ( gasps ): homie! time to open the envelope i gave you. ( marge grunting ) out of the way! i learned cpr while waiting for other kids to finish their math tests. ( lisa exhaling, homer grunting ) compress his chest! i'm on it. ( bart grunting, homer grunting ) ( gasps ) ( coughing, gagging ) ( babbling ): hey! wha...?! wha' happened?! where am i?! who put those spiders in my mouth?! oh, thank god! he's alive! ( babbling, crying ) you wouldn't believe what happened to me! i tried to do what you told me to, but... i don'

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. >> mmm. ♪. ♪. ♪. >> chavo, chavo, ¿quÉ vas hacer? no es por nada chavo, pero no creo que los insectos les guste ese refresco. >> no es refresco, es gasolina. >> de todos modos. (risas). >> mamÁ! ♪. (llanto). (llanto). (llanto). (llanto). ♪. ♪. ♪. ♪. ♪. (llanto). >> mira, ya estÁ bien, chilindrina, ya estÁ bien. como no te voy hacer caso aunque estÉs llorando, ten la bondad de ir a llorar allÁ afuera. (llanto). >> ya, ya. (llanto). >> fuera, fuera. (llanto). ♪. >> ¿estÁs llorando? >> no, me estoy lavando los ojos de adentro pa'fuera. (risas). ♪. >> chavo, ¿les pusiste gasolina ♪. ♪. ♪. ♪. >> chavo, ¿les pusiste gasolina a las palomitas de maÍz? >> no es cierto. >> sÍ, es cierto. me supieron a gasolina las palomitas de maÍz. >> porque no son palomitas de maÍz. >> ¿entonces? >> son mis insectos. (risas). (llanto). >> te voy acusar quico, palomitas de maÍz. (llanto). >> a ver, a ver, un momentito, un momentito con lo poquito que te entendÍ me quieres decir que tÚ le quitaste las palomitas de maÍz

>> mmm, delicioso. y cuando necesitos altas temperatatas, solo apretamos un boton y nos vamos hastlos 575 ados, para hacer bisteces, luego lo bajamos a 350 y pemos hacer bellas salchicas a la parril, chuletas de puerco, salmon, e inclo vegetales a la parrilla. >> bien, la temperata para freies 375 grados, especialmente si usamos aceite vegetal, queremos mantener la temperatura perfecta. >> asi es. >> mira esto... aqui vamos a probarlo, ponemos esto a75 gras, dice 375, nuestro pollo se frie suavemen, y no se emara. >> aqui en este quemador esta una tipica bobina electrica, aqui abajo. >> puedo ver que, jenny, ha estado cocinando ahi. >> esto es lo que ocurre, no es seguro. y no solo no es seguro, nunca se a qutemperatura esta, siempre estoy adivinando. >> cuando comes esos estupendo llos f ftos en una de las cadenas de comida,s rque ellos tienen fraidores caros, los ponen a 375 grados, pueden usar el mismo aceite todo el dia sin quemarla. pues ahora tenos ese control eciso en casa con la esta de inccion

mmm! thank you! mmm! mmm! she can't kill me, right? no, of course not. people break up. every day. it just didn't work out. i wanted to love her. i tried. i couldn't. you tried. i'd be looking at her face going "come on. love her." did you tell her you loved her? she squeezed it out of me. she'd say she loved me. at first, i'd just look at her. i'd go, "oh, really," or "boy, that's-- that's something," but eventually, you have to come back with, "well, i love you." you can't hold out forever. you're a human being. she asked me out first. she called me up. what was i supposed to do, say no? i can't. you're too nice. i am. i'm a nice guy. and then she seduced me. we're in my apartment, i'm on the couch, she's sitting on the chair. i go to the bathroom, i come back, she's on the couch. what could i do, nothing? that would have insulted her. you're flesh and blood. i had nothing to do with this. i met all her friends. i tried avoiding it. i knew it would only get me in deeper, but they kept popping up all over the place. "this is nancy, susan, amy, my cousins, my brothers, my father."

>> mmm. >> and a mouthful. look at that. mm-mmm. >> good? >> mmm! >> oishii. >> wow. those are wonderful. they're so fresh, and i could taste the sea. arigato. >> [speaks japanese] >> hiromi, this is something pretty interesting here in the market. it's not fish. >> no. this is a turtle omelet.

. >> mmm-mmm. i love you. i can't wait to see you. here is a little something to remember me by until i get home. i love you, baby. >> what? >>> dudes trying to break open a dry ice bomb. >> i'm going to do this the old-fashioned way to try to break into this thing. >> why this was all >>> hunter in minnesota went out looking for some game and wound up losing himself. troopers up in the helicopter were looking around for about 20 minutes when the technology of this lear camera system helped find the guy and his dog. see that hot, bright spot out in the woods. that's his body registering as a bright, white signal for the camera. you see the guy waving, over here. the pilots up in the helicopter were able to guide ground teams in because they weren't able to land the helicopter. >> who is the other dude? >> that's the ground team. the pilot up in the air saying, here is your guy. keep walking that way. >> they let the dog lead them to his owner. the dog helped. >> this is 1:15, 1:20 in the morning when this is going on. >> that's right.

>> lo se, es casi increible, ¿no es as >> mmm, delicioso. y cuandoecesitamos altas temperaturas, solo apretamos un boton y nos vamos hasta los 575 gradosra hacer bisteces, luego lo bajamos a 350 y podemos hacer bellas salchicas a parrilla, chuletase puerco, salmon, e incluso vegetales a la parrilla. >> bien, la temperatura para frr es75 grados, especialmente si usamos aceite vegetal, queremos mantener la temperatura perfecta. >> asi es. >> mira to... ui vamos a probarlo, ponemos esto a 375 grados, de 375, nuestro pollo se frie una tipicaobina electrica,sta aq abajo. >> pdo v que, jenny, ha estado cocinan ahi. >> esto es lo que ocurre, no es seguro. noolo no es sero, nunca se a que temperatura es, sieme estoy adivinando. >> cuando comes esos estupendos pollos fritos en u de las cadenas de comida, eporque ellos tienen fraidores caros, s ponen a 375 gros, pueden usar el mismo aceite todo el dia sin emarla. pu ahoraenos ese control preciso en casa con la estufa de induccion precisa. dejenme darles un ejemplo. en esta cocina de pruebas, cimos mad

. >> mmm... >> es asombroso.> mmm! >> mujer 1: ¿que opinan? >> haciente. >> puedes freir, puedes asar, vaporizar... puedes hacer me encanta.te lo que querias, >> es asombroso nunca habia visto algo asi. >> me encanta cuando remueves la cubierta. porque se apaga la oll se para y las manijas tan frescas, eso es asombroso. >> ¿y saben que mas tiene de buen es que es portatil... pueden llevarla a cualquieresa, colocarla y se mantiene a 110 grados. siempre disponible en medio de suinvitados y pueden usarl r el dia entero, cocinar y cocinar todo el dia. ¿y saben cual es la mejor parte de esto? es que pueden asar en la mesa. >> mmm.. >> si es lviendo o hace frio, aun asi pueden comer asados, cambiara la forma en que cocina. >> todos: si! >> esta estufa hace todo muy simple. queda todoomo lo ordenara de un restaurante. ahora puedo cocinar mejor con este aparato. >> [risas] [♪...] >> anunciador: les presentamos la esta de induccion precisa de nuwave, los lideres en tecnologia portatil para cocinar con la precision de la induccion. la estufa nuwave

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> mmm, delioso. y cuando necesitamos altas temperaturas, solo apretamos un boton y nos vamos hasta los 575 grados, para hacer bisteces, luego lo bajamos a 350 y podemos parrilla, chuletas de puerco, salmon, incluso vegetales a la parrilla. >> bien, la temperatura para freir es 375 grados, especialmente si usamos aceite vegetal, queremos mantener la temperatura perfecta. asi es. >> mira esto... aqui vamos a probarlo, ponemos esto a 375 grados, dice 375, nuestro pollo se fe suavementey no se quemara. >> aqui en este quemor esta aqui abajo.bina electrica, >> puedo ver que, jenny, ha estado cocinando ahi. >> esto es lque ocurre, no es seguro. y no solo no es seguro, nunca se a quteeratura ta, siempre

mmm! thank you! mmm! mmm! ♪ dial up my number now ♪ weaving it through the wire ♪ switch me on ♪ i want to touch you ♪ you're just made for love ♪ i need ooh la la la la la i want you to know stuff i want you to be kind. i want you to be smart. super smart. i want one thing in a doctor. i want you to be handsome. i want you to be awesome. i don't want you to look at the chart before you say hi...david. i want you to return my emails. i want you to keep me doing this for another sixty years. at kaiser permanente, we want you to choose the doctor that's right for you. find your perfect match at kp.org and thrive. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: everybody, we are back with the one and only johnny knoxville. his new movie, "jackass presents: bad grandpa" is in theaters everywhere this friday. johnny and i are about to play a cool drinking game called "battleshots." and the game works like this. johnny and i are going to take turns guessing coordinates. if you miss, you mark that spot with an "o."

>> mmm, delicioso. y cuando necesitos altas temperatatas, solo apretamos un boton y nos vamos hastlos 575 ados, para hacer bisteces, luego lo bajamos a 350 y pemos hacer bellas salchicas a la parril, chuletas de puerco, salmon, e inclo vegetales a la parrilla. >> bien, la temperata para freies 375 grados, especialmente si usamos aceite vegetal, queremos mantener la temperatura perfecta. >> asi es. >> mira esto... aqui vamos a probarlo, ponemos esto a75 gras, dice 375, nuestro pollo se frie suavemen, y no se emara. >> aqui en este quemador esta una tipica bobina electrica, aqui abajo. >> puedo ver que, jenny, ha estado cocinando ahi. >> esto es lo que ocurre, no es seguro. y no solo no es seguro, nunca se a qutemperatura esta, siempre

mmm. (risas). >> bye. >> ¿quiÉn era, eh? >> era el chavo que pasÓ por la ventana y lo vi por aquel espejito y lo saludÉ. Ándale. >> ¿te gustÓ la medicina? >> ay, estÁ rica, mijita, me encantÓ. >> pues acÁbatela. (risas). >> mijita, pero la que estÁ enferma eres tÚ. >> mira, si te tomas otra cucharadita, luego yo me la tomo. asÍ yo veo que si te gustÓ. >> ¿si me tomo otra? >> sÍ, otra. >> estÁ rica, mijita, pero despuÉs te la tomas tÚ, eh. conste, mira que rica estÁ. mmm. (risas). >> mamÁ! >> ¿quÉ te pasÓ? >> quÉ te pasÓ, que no viste que tu papÁ me escupiÓ. (risas). >> bueno, es que me espantÓ con su cara de burro cachetÓn, mija. >> va a ver, le voy acusar con mi mamÁ. >> ay sÍ tÚ, mira que miedo, mira como estoy temblando. Ándele, mijita, ahora sÍ se va a tomar su medicina. >> no, fÍjate, la otra no se valiÓ porque tÚ la escupiste. >> mira, mijita, ya. >> tÚ dijiste. >> estÁ bien, mijita, me voy a tomar esta, pero es la Última, eh, despuÉs te la tomas tÚ. mira que rica. (risas). (ris

mmm. tan ricas, que se han ganado un nuevo baile. ♪ [ locutor ] nuevas mighty wings. tan deliciosas, que todo el mundo las celebrará con un baile de victoria. hay algo nuevo en mcdonald's que a todos les va a encantar. ¿y las mighty wings? [ silbar ] vivido, merendado y tus dientes se han manchado. ya que si no los estás blanqueando, los estás manchando. crest 3d white whitestrips. aplícalas tú misma y remuévelas para ver un resultado 25 veces mejor que una pasta blanqueadora líder. para ver un resultado 25 veces mejor para que sea mayor de edad. >> sÍ. >> ¿y quÉ? >> ¿cÓmo y quÉ? vas a cumplir 18 aÑos, ya tienes depa, casa, ¿a dÓnde te vas a ir o quÉ? ♪ >> ah, pues no sabÍa que me tenia que ir, a otro lado. >> no lo sabÍa. >> samuel, ya estÁs grande yo creo que tienes que empezar a pensar a hacer tu propia vida. ♪ [mÚsica triste] >> ay, san jerÓnimo, acompÁÑame, siento como que les estorbo, que no tengo a nadie. acompÁÑame. ♪ >> ya es tardÍsimo, apÚrate. >> pues tÚ que te picaste. >> ¿estÁ mi papÁ ahÍ o no? >> no, ni estÁ viend

>> mmm, delicioso. y cuando necesitamos altas temperaturas, solo apretamos un boton y nos vamos hasta los 575 grados, para hacer bisteces, luego lo bajamos a 350 y podemos hacer bellas salchicas a la parrilla, chuletas de puerco, salmon, e incluso vegetales a la parrilla. >> bien, la temperatura para freir es 375 grados, especialmente si usamos aceite vegetal, queremos mantener la temperatura perfecta. >> asi es. >> mira esto... aqui vamos a probarlo, ponemos esto a 375 grados, dice 375, nuestro pollo se frie suavemente, y no se quemara. >> aqui en este quemador esta una tipica bobina electrica, aqui abajo. >> puedo ver que, jenny, ha estado cocinando ahi. >> esto es lo que ocurre, no es seguro. y no solo no es seguro, nunca se a que temperatura esta, siempre

. >>> mmm. yo? no. borracha no estoy contenta. >>> feliz niÑa. violeta tomate un trago. >>> con ganas de levantar mel no tira un pelo partido por la mitad, ¿no? ja ja ja. . >>> igual o quÉ. >>> mamacita. >>> se la aventaron... >>> seÑor. no me pesque que va. seÑor policÍa, por favor. >>> no hice nada, en mi casa me estÁn esperando. seÑor, no me puedo ir. estoy muy mi casa. policÍa. >>> seÑor. en mi casa me estÁn esperando. seÑor, por favor. me van a matar en mi casa. >>> yo creo que igual. en la casa de mis papÁs. >>> >>> ay ! no. cuando yo me considero ne mi gordito. >>> no se puede quejar que va por buen camino >>> al paso que va, la Única que abrirÁ en este cuarto soy yo. >>> lo tengo claro. y yo tambiÉn quiero. (risas). >>> echarme los perros. me devuelvo a mi casa. >>> ni siquiera vino >>> serÁ que... >>> ay ! sÍ. >>> muchas gracias, perdone. su colaboraciÓn. >>> ¿quÉ hubo? >>> bonita venezuela. lleveme al hotel, por favor. >>> entra, a dentro, a dentro. pare mijo. no me puede dejar enzo errada no hice nada. devuelvame el

mmm mmm mmm mmm mmmm it's beggin! mmm i love you... (announcer) beggin' strips...made with real bacon. there's no time like beggin' time! the recent increase in cafeteria prices is not cool. when you vote for flo, we'll have discounts. ice-cream discounts. multi-cookie discounts. pizza loyalty discounts! [ kids chanting "flo!" ] i also have some great ideas on car insurance. [ silence ] finding you discounts since back in the day. call or click today. i like her. for aveeno® positively radiant face moisturizer. [ female announcer ] aveeno® with soy helps reduce the look of brown spots in 4 weeks. for healthy radiant skin. aveeno®. naturally beautiful results. how much is it costing you to make them here? it's costing me-- hold your breath. $30 to make one. wow. (gasps) yeah, it's killing me, okay? shocking. i'm retailing them for $64.95. retail? what about wholesale? and wholesaling-- hold your breath-- $32.50. you're making $2 and fif-- that's why i'm not selling them! (robert) come on! that's why-- i'm not kidding you. are you a c

>> mmm. no, soltero. >> sÍ, yo vi que te dio un gusto que yo llegara. ♪. >> claro. ♪. ♪. >> te dije que no somos nada. >> ay, quÉ divertido. >> ay, quÉ padre. ♪. ♪. >> se fue a descansar y maÑana si se siente bien en la maÑana viene a trabajar. me pidiÓ que no pasaras a verla porque va a descansar. >> es que su celular no me contesta, entra luego, luego su buzÓn. >> sÍ, tenia que descansar, hijo. gerardo, el mÉdico le recomendÓ reposo absoluto. >> entonces, lo de isa es sÓlo cansancio. >> exactamente. va a estar bien, diego. >> yo sÉ, mi doÑa, yo se que va a estar muy bien, yo lo sÉ. lo que voy a hacer es pasar por ella maÑana y si quiere venir a trabajar me la traigo en el coche, ¿no? mmm? oiga, ¿quiere probar el otro paicito que hicieron? >> no, no. >> estÁ bueno, ese esta bueno, pero el otro estÁ muy bueno. >> no, no empieces. >> ¿unas enchiladas? >> ay, enchiladas, ¿para quÉ las mencionaste? >> pues ahorita se las traigo. >> pollo sin crema. >> unas enchila

david: mmm, frutas ricas que podemos comer. sean: eno, puen disfrutar de sus baloncitose fruty su juegdeini baloncesto. ¿por quÉ nvan a sa a pcticar unasess con su niÑero y divertse? niños: ¡gracias, sean! >>por nada. sean: giacomo, daniel y david estÁn jugando mini baloncesto con su niÑer frankie. noodle: ¡ah! y mira, los baloncitos de albarique se ven apetosos. todos: ¡adiÓs, sean! >> ¡fantÁico! gracias, doodle. doodle: por nada. isas]>>¡guao! buen tiro. >>¡sÍ! ¡buen juego, chicos! quÁs tÚ quieras hacer un juego de mini baloncesto con cosas recicladas de tu propia casa ¿cuÁntos puntos anarÍas? [♪ ¡eso es! me pregunto cuÁl sera nuestra prÓxima para. ¡nos vemos pronto! locur: no te vayas, viene mÁs "noodle and doodle" en mi mundo de la imaginaciÓn. cc: telemundo networ caioning@telemundo.com (305) 887-3060 >>¡ohh... ahh...! preÁrate para sentir el trueno [golpe] >>>>empre... [quejidos] ¡uh! !oh!estu bÁrbaro! ¡otra vez!rullas de la policía -¡laventura nos aguarda! urar que no se lo contarás a

mmm! thank you! mmm! mmm! every second -- we chip away. at advancing safety with technology, like seeing every curve, even when you don't, being a second set of eyes, or having stopping power when you need it most. it's not intuition, it's intelligence. this is the new 2014 jeep grand cherokee. it is the best of what we're made of. well-qualified lessees can lease the 2014 grand cherokee laredo 4x4 for $359 a month. into an easy dinner with crescent dogs. just separate, add hot dogs, cheese, roll 'em up, and bake. lookin' hot, c-dog. pillsbury crescents. make dinner pop. faster than kenny can dodge a question. honey, how'd that test go? [ female announcer ] in just 60 seconds, you've got snack defying, satisfying mmm. totino's pizza rolls. mm-hmm. hmm. [ female announcer ] zero to pizza. pronto. now in two bold new flavors! >> jimmy: welcome back. our next guest is the author of the "the tipping point," "blink," "outliers" and i think he wrote one of the "50 shades of grey" books, his latest is called, "david and goliath: underdogs, misfit

[ female announcer ] in just 60 seconds, you've got snack defying, satisfying mmm. totino's pizza rolls. mm-hmm. hmm. [ female announcer ] zero to pizza. pronto. now in two bold new flavors! >>> fire invest investigators are trying to figure out what sparked an apartment fire that left two people critically injured including a child. the fire started in west l. a. roughly 700 people lived inside that building. >>> tenants of a redwood city apartment building that went up in flames yesterday returned today to pick up their personal belongings. as ktvu's robert handa reports some of the displaced residents say they've been victimized a second time. >>> just when one person can carry. >> former tenants of the terrace apartments gathered outside their old home to try to get their lives back on track. many residents ran on climbed out from the six alarm fire that starletted on the third floor yesterday morning. today paul jacobson and others came back to see what personal belongings you can retrieve. >> if i can get my laptop and something else that would be great. i def

mmm. tan ricas, que se han ganado un nuevo baile. ♪ [ locutor ] nuevas mighty wings. tan deliciosas, que todo el mundo las celebrará con un baile de victoria. hay algo nuevo en mcdonald's que a todos les va a encantar. ¿y las mighty wings? [ silbar ] ¿y las mighty wings? >> pues empezamos con los preparativos de la cena. >> hay juegos en los que la victoria alimenta mÁs que el mismo alimento persÉ en la isla. en este caso se nos dio muchÍsimo gusto haber ganado porque de esta forma seguimos unidos y sabemos que ahora un equipo de cuatro que se queda de tres va a pasar algo que no sabemos todavÍa. >> me voy a caer. >> ¿ya lo viste? ♪ >> yo ya empecÉ a moquear y no es tos de maritere. >> es gripa. >> debe ser la fogata. >> es el humo, es el pasito que me hace llorar. >> hablamos, hablamos en equipo y pues alan ya se sentÍa mal, ya se siente mal, tiene un hombro... beto y cecilia pues no, ellos quieren estar aquÍ y yo en este momento quisiera seguir. >> la decisiÓn unÁnime del juicio pues es que yo salga. >> lo mismo que hemos venido haciendo es irlo habla

mmm! thank you! mmm! mmm! it's time to free ourselves from the smell and harshness of bleach. and free ourselves from worrying about the ones we love. lysol power & free has more cleaning power than bleach. how? the secret is the hydrogen peroxide formula. it attacks tough stains and kills 99.9% of germs. lysol power & free. powerful cleaning that's family friendly. another step forward in our mission for health. did nana ever give you cheerios when you were a little kid? yeah, she did. were cheerios the same back then? cheerios has pretty much been the same forever. so...when we have cheerios, it's kind of like we are having breakfast with nana... yeah... ♪ yeah. you're so smart. narrator: if animals are our best friends, shouldn't we be theirs? visit your local shelter, adopt a pet. cbs cares. visit your local shelter, adopt a pet. the "cbs dream team & it's epic." announcer: today is vinny's final test to see if he's overcome his skittish behavior. this will determine if he's ready to move in with lucky dog ranch volunteer brooks. brandon: let's see if all the hard work a

>> mmm... >> it's the nuwave oven. you talk about healthy. >> all right, now we're gonna move on to dessert... >> it's about time. >> which we have right here. >> yup. >> cookies are one of my favorite things to make for dessert in the oven. >> the nuwave oven... blows me away all the time when i use it. >> and we've got lemon squares. >> yeah. >> cobbler, pineapple upside-down cake... >> look at this! everything you see here, nuwave oven, fast,asy, quick-- i love this. >> being a middle school p.e. teacher and knowing how kids are hungry after they get home from school activities, the nuwave would be an excellent thing for almost every household to have. the students come home, it's healthy, it's fast, 's easy. >> don't waste your time and energy slaving in the kitchen. >> stop settling for fast food or unhealthy microwave meals-- make a smart decision. make great-tasting food faster and easier, save money and maintain a healthy lifestyle. >> it's time for you to pick up the phone and order your very own nuwave oven.

. >> mmm. >> tÚ tampoco sabes comer con educaciÓn. >> ¿por quÉ lo dices? >> porque no se limpia uno la boca con la manga. >> ¿entonces? >> para eso estÁ el mantel. (risas). >> tome. >> precisamente lo que andaba buscando. (risas). (timbre). >> con permiso caballeros. >> pÁsale, pasale. (risas). (sonido ambiente). >> y ahora quiÉn te escribiÓ remedio. >> otra vez petrita pÉrez, ven. >> voy enseguida. >> y el prÍncipe resultÓ ser un simple ratero que huyÓ de la casa llevÁndose hasta la jaula del perico. (risas). >> sinvergÜenzas, canallas! (risas). ♪. (risas). ♪. ♪. ♪. ♪. la, gente de internet, soy francisco navarrete y ella es mi esposa marisol. ¡hola! Éste es nuestro hijo miguel que anda de mochilero por europa con su amigo jeremy... y el problema es que está utilizando el teléfono con internet y nos está costando una fortuna. ¡miguel Ángel navarrete martín, apaga ese teléfono! si lo ven por ahí, díganle por favor que... ¡apágalo! ¡sí, apágalo! le vas a dar un infarto a tu padre. ¡apágalo! la cobertura nacional de t-m

. >> mmm. >> dame una mitad de un chicle. >> mmm. >> dame un pedacito chiquito. >> mmm. >> dame un pellizquito. (grito). >> ah! mamÁ! (llanto). >> vas a ver, mamÁ! >> ¿quÉ le pasÓ a quico? (balbucea). >> ¿quÉ? (balbucea). >> espera, espera. ¿estÁs comiendo chicle, verdad? con razÓn no se te entiende. ¿puedes escupir el chicle? a ver. (escupo). (risas). >> me refiero a que si puedes tirarlo que cuando hables se te entienda lo que dices. pero al suelo no, chavo! ¿dÓnde quedo? >> por ahÍ. >> ¿dÓnde? >> hola maestro longaniza! >> ta, ta, ta, ta, ta! mi apellido es jirafales. >> ah, caray, entonces ¿lo de longaniza es un apodo? >> sÍ. >> ah. >> por cierto de muy mal gusto. >> no se crea, le viene como anillo al dedo. (risas). >> digo, digo. >> ¿que usted no tiene ningÚn apodo? >> bueno, sÍ. algunas mujeres me dicen "el roro". >> no es cierto. doÑa florinda le dice "lombriz de agua puerca". (risa). >> lombriz de agua puerca. (risa). >> mira, chavo, no me vuelvas a mencionar a la chancluda del 14, ¿oÍste? (risas). >> ¿a quiÉn le dice "chancluda del 14"? >> bueno. >> asÍ le

mmm. >> ¿a quiÉn saludaste? >> es que pasÓ el chavo del ocho por la ventana y lo vi por el espejo, pero ay, que rica medicina, mira. >> ¿ay, te gustÓ? >> ay, pero harto mucho, bastante. >> ¿mucho te gustÓ? >> sÍ, mijita. >> pues acÁbatela toda, te la regalo. (risas). >> mijita, te lo estoy diciendo, tÚ eres la que estÁ enferma, y tÚ te la vas a tomar. abre la boca. >> pero otra vez, tÚ tÓmatela, para yo estar segura de que sabe buena, papÁ. >> estÁ bien, mijita, pero me tomo esta y ya, eh. >> ya. >> despuÉs te la tomas tÚ, eh. >> yo, yo, sÍ. >> conste. >> conste, conste. >> ahÍ va. mm. (sonido ambiente). (risas). >> mamÁ! >> ¿quÉ te pasa? >> mamÁ! >> quico, quico, espÉrate. >> ¿que no viste que tu papÁ me escupiÓ? (risas). >> quico, quico, es que, es que, como se me apareciÓ de repente, me espantÉ con tu cara de burro cachetÓn. >> va a ver, va a ver, le voy acusar con mi mamÁ. >> ay sÍ, mira como tengo miedo, mira, ay quÉ miedo me da, uh. hasta se agitÓ la medicina. (risas). >> b

(risas). >> mmm. >> y tÚ tambiÉn quico. >> yo tambiÉn. (risas). >> sÍ, tesoro, el profesor y yo tenemos derecho a descansar. >> estÁ bien. >> ay, al fin paz, tranquilidad, silencio. >> sÍ. (risas). >> gol! gol! gol! lo metiÓ, lo metiÓ, es gol! (risa). >> quÉ golazo! america, amÉrica, america! quÉ bÁrbaro! (risa). (llanto). ♪. ♪. >> ya regresamos con mÁs de "el chavo". esta semana kmart te da 50% de descuento en disfraces. y miembros de shop your way obtienen un reembolso adicional del 10%, en puntos. además, deliciosos dulces fun size están a 2 por 5 dólares. kmart consigue más en halloween. >> seguimos con "el chavo". >> ah, mira quico, yo tengo una paleta, y no te voy a dar. >> al cabo que no me importa porque yo tengo un radio de transistores y no te lo presto. >> ¿eso es un radio de transistores? >> sÍ. >> uy, estÁ tan chiquito que ni se oye. >> es que el locutor me cae gordo y le quitÉ el sonido. >> ay, mira, no seas menso, sÚbele el sonido para oÍr cÓmo acaba el partido. >> no quiero. >> ay, no te preocupes

mmm, mmm, mmm. mmm-mmm. [ munching ] yummy, yummy, yummy. mmm. scrumptious! [ giggling ] [ chuckling ] [ stomach gurgles ] [ gasps ] ohhh, oopsy daisy. huh. maybe i shouldn't have eaten so fast. i don't feel so good. oh my peas. [ stomach rumbles ] oooooh, bad tummy ache. hi, whyatt. hi. hi, princess pea. [ giggling ] i have some popcorn to share. ah! want some? oh sure. yummy! hmm. princess pea? huh? what about your tummy ache? [ stomach gurgles ] oh-h-h-h-h, my tummy. split pea! i really want some popcorn, but my tummy hurts! what should i do? this sounds like a super big problem. and a super big problem needs us, the super readers! we need to call the rest of the super readers. call them with me! [ cellphone ♪ ] say, "calling all super readers!" children: [ in audience ] calling all super readers! [ remote phone ringing ] to the book club! to the book club! children: to the book club! come on, to the book club! [ ♪ ] whyatt here. [ ♪ ] "p" is for pig! [ ♪ ] red riding hood rollin' in! [ ♪ ] princess pea at your service! and you, say your name. gr