dean pork sausages, jimmy hendrix and jimmy buffett cds. jimmy ice cream cone, an action figure. autographed picture of jimmy smits, jimmy neutron on dvd and a letter from jimmy's actual mother telling you she loves you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, luke, thank you. appreciate it. tonight on the show david blaine is here. we have music from charlie wilson. we'll be right back with sarah silverman. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i get times are tight. but it's hard to get any work done like this. then came this baby -- small but with windows and office. it runs my work stuff. ...and i can use apps like flipboard for news, or xbox video to watch the shows i'm never home to see... and i can still get work done at the same time. excuse me, do you mind if i... yep. ♪ honestly, i wanna see you be brave ♪ this holiday, tech the halls and ring in the savings with our radioshack price match guarantee. get great deals on the best brands at radioshack. >> jimmy: hi there. welcome back. tonight on the program, his new special "david bl

and now, here's jimmy kimmel! >> jimmy: tonight on the program we have a special show, from the hunger games movie, elizabeth banks is with us here tonight. and we will have music from daughtry tonight and celebrate birthday 80 with larry king. today is larry king's 80th birthday. larry king was born on this day in 19 something, i am not great with math. he is still working. most men are wandering around the beach with the metal detector. not larry, larry is here to party. i might try to get him drunk. wouldn't that be fun? big news from the oxford english dictionary for all you kids watching, that don't know what the oxford english dictionary is, small part, printed out. kept on the shelf. opened once every three years in a scrabble game. the oxford dictionary announced their word of the year, 2013, it is selfie. that's right. the word, oh, no. don't you dare clap for that. i'm upset it has been wedged into my brain. never to encourage, selfie as a word of the year. i don't know if they do this as a publicity stu

jimmy! [ chrs and applause ] ♪ >> stevefrom studio 6a in rockeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonighs guests are -- and feuring the legendarroots crew. and here he is -- jimmfallon! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheersnd applause ] >> jimmy: thank you very much. thank you! yeah. oh. hot crowd. hot crowd right there. welcome great new york city crowd. welcome, everybody, to "late night with jimmy fallon." you guys feeling good? [ cheers and alause ] welce. thank you so much. welcome to the show. it's fun one. i love you, too. [ lighlaughter ] let's get right to i here's what everyone's talki about. this guy, b ford, the mayor of toronto. i love this guy. everyoneoves the guy. what a great guy. he's admitted that he's oked crack while he was in office. [ laughter ] he's rusing to step down. and despite all this, he's annouced that,his is true, he's going to start hosting a tv show with his brotr in canada. [ lahter ] it raised a loof questions. starting with, "wher

♪ jimmy kimmel live ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: here we go. i'm jimmy. welcome to the show. thank you very much. thank you for being with us. thank you for -- thank you for braving the elements to be here tonight. the weather was wow, i think we got 1/18 inch of precipitation over the last 24 hours. we have counselors available if any one was hit by a rain drop. for those of you whuch lio live normal cities it rained here this morning. i don't know if we will ever be able to recover from it. everyone was late to work here this morning. everyone was complaining abut tabut -- about the traffic. you would think we got hit by a tornado. we got .26 inches of ran for real. i think you get wetter if someone knesneezes. that did not stop the local news channels to spring into action to cover every drop of storm watch 2013. >> check out the new video in from the wharf. puddles building up there. our team is standi ining by. >> it is not too bad. >> just within the past few minutes. the wind started picking up a little bit and started drizzling a little bit. >> ta

but jimmy fallon happening right now. jimmy! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: from studio 6a in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, my goodness. please, welcome welcome. [ cheers and applause ] thank you so much. thank you. hot crowd! [ cheers and applause ] hot crowd! hot, hot, hot! stop the show right now! [ cheers and applause ] too hot in here! welcome! welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," you guys. you guys are feeling good, obviously. [ cheers and applause ] welcome to the show. here's what people are talking about. justin bieber has just gotten himself into more trouble now. i don't know what's going on with this guy, but now this time he's facing charges in brazil after he was not -- the monkey thing. remember when he tried to smuggle a monkey into the country? [ laughter ] >> steve: yeah, i heard about that. >> jimmy: no

>> jimmy: sure. yeah. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i'm not a jewelry guy. >> i wasn't that convinced by your answer. >> jimmy: no, i'm not a jewelry guy. >> okay, but, maybe today is gonna change everything. >> jimmy: okay, i don't know. it could be me. [ light laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> give me your ear. lend me your ear. we will put a little cuff on you. >> jimmy: yeah, this is definitely me. >> look. oh. [ cheers and applause ] i think you could do that, actually. >> jimmy: you think can i rock this? >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, i can definitely rock this. >> there's a little pineapple. we have like tiny little vacations. pineapples and unicorns and palm trees. >> jimmy: they're super fun. so what is it called and how do i end up getting this? >> it's called fine by danni jones. and you can go to dannijo.com. it's online. >> jimmy; dannijo.com. pal i don't mean to bring you down here, but "parks and rec," coming to an end for you. >> for me. for me. not for you guys. >> jimmy: for y

here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ indiscernible ] >> jimmy: i know there are so many things you could be doing with your wednesday night. you could be sleeping, reading, could be making love. oh, wait a minute you are making love. did any of you vote yesterday? yeah, right. it's all right. you will get to it eventually. the city of new york has a new mayor, bill de blasio. and chris christie. the measure in portland, maine, the first city to legalize recreational use of marijuana. [ applause ] joint is a m-- >> jimmy: it is legal for adults to possess 2.5 ounces of marijuana. a lot. like a zip lock bag. enough to get an elephant stoned. which would be hilarious by the way. the measure passed by 70% of voters said yes to marijuana. there is not an nba team in maine. that is rob ford is still mayor after admitting he smoked crack in office. reason he admitted this, they report lead have a video of him smoking crack. a video he claimed did not exist until last week. mayor ford changed hi

but jimmy fallon happening right now. jimmy, take it! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: from studio 6a in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hey, how you doing? that's a hot crowd right there. oh, my goodness! you sound so good. hey, welcome! thank you very much. hey, guys, oh, my gosh. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon." you guys are feeling good tonight. hot crowd, new york city, right there, everybody. people are in a great mood. people are in a great mood here in new york city. we've got a new mayor, you guys. [ cheers and applause ] that's right. i want to say congratulations to bill de blasio, who became new york city's first democratic mayor in 20 years by getting an amazing 73% of the vote here in new york city. [ applause ] or as new yorkers are saying today, "you suck, de blasio!" [ laughter ] "i voted for you yesterday!" that's ri

and now, behold, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ >> jimmy: that's very nice! thank you. [ cheers and applause ] welcome to the show. thank you for watching. [ indiscernible ] thank you very much. i have a -- i have a great story for you tonight. do we have any canadians in our studio? [ cheers and applause ] excellent. i need your help. how many of you are familiar with toronto mayor rob ford? [ applause ] if you aren't let me catch you up. rob ford has been mayor of toronto for three years. he was a city councilman, seven years before that. since then he has been involved in a number of shenanigans, most notably a video seen by reporters from "the toronto star" that showed mayor ford smoking what they described as a crack pipe. but the video some how disappeared after they saw it. mayor ford claimed it did not exist. he said it was a media conspiracy against him. last week the chief of police in toronto announced he has the video and plans to show it. now in court. which changed things a bit. so today after several days of dodging the press, the mayor held tw

tomorrow night, bi o'reilly, but jimmy faon happening right now. jimmy! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> ste: from studio 6a in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents - tonight's guests are -- and featuring the gendary roots crew. and here he -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >>immy: welcome, welcome! thank you so much. that was feels good, right there. thank you. [ cheers andpplause ] oh, my gdness. what a great crowd. welcome everyby. great new rk city crowd right there. welcomto "late night with jimmy fallon" everybody. welcom all righ wow. well, guys, it is official. it is official. toronto mayor rob ford is officially the best. [ light laughter he is the best. this guy is unbelievable. the mayor of torontonow he has admitted that he bought crack. and now he may be forced to take a leave of absence. whicraises the question, "what the hell does he have though do to get fired?" [ laughter consider this cracthing a warning -- cheers and applause no more crack. hey, listen to this. aftehe admitted t

jimmy say yeah yeah ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, my goodness. that's what i'm talking about. charlie wilson. [ cheers and applause ] see him live saturday at foxwoods casino in connecticut. we'll be right back. wow. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: all my thanks to will forte, blain howard from xbox, charlie wilson! [ cheers and applause ] and the greatest band in late night, the roots, right there, ladies and gentlemen. stay tuned for carson daly. thank you for watching. have a good night. hope to see you tomorrow. bye-bye, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

she said, you look fine. >> jimmy: she did? >> yes. >> jimmy: how old is she? >> she's 15. but instinctively she has a sense that it's putting clothes on her back. >> jimmy: she knows you have dressed as a woman before? is this the first time? >> this is the first time in a public forum. >> jimmy: i happen to know one thing about you and that's that you're a prankster and you like to trick. >> i don't know that i'm in your league. >> jimmy: you do things to your co-workers which i love to hear these stories. >> i like to harass my castmat.s >> jimmy: who do you like to harass in particular? >> castle. >> i go from the unsophisticated and i often will on the inside of trailer door handles, coat it with a proprietary blend of toothpaste and vaseline and i like to a small fish hidden in the trailer. a sardine or a smell or a little bit of shad will do in a pinch. if you want to prank, you can do no better than to consult with an 11-year-old and among 11-year-olds you can do no better than to consult with my son, avi and he turned me on to a website of dubious legalities that a

[ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: hi there, i'm jimmy. thank you for watching. thank you for being here on this beautiful night in southern california. [ cheers and applause ] it was really lovely today from beginning to end. it was sunny, and -- 80 degrees here today. it is a perfect night in hollywood. yet i am still jealous, i am not in toronto where the saga of mayor rob ford is better than any good weather could be. if you have not been following the story, a video floating around since may, that reportedly shows mayor ford smoking crack. we haven't seen the video yet. but the tore ron tomorr rtoront has. tuesday after months of denials, the mayor admitted he had smoked crack in a drunken stupor, and today, as if that wasn't good enough, there is new video that was obtained by "the toronto star," not sure what exactly is going on here, or who the mayor is talking about, but -- let's say it is amazing and leave it at that. [ indiscernible ] >> jimmy: take whatever time you need. he is bright red -- [ applause ] he is ranting. he is raving. what it would be l

>> jimmy: i am jimmy kimmel. the reason you are seeing me backstage instead of on stage, tonight's show will have limited commercial interrumeption thank to hp, a two in one design, a high performing device and portable tablet with detach bulky board. just, very, very, very exciting. >> guillermo: we are going to have more time for each other. >> jimmy: for each other and a holiday prank. >> guillermo: sound so good. >> jimmy: release me from the clutches. get out to the spot and let's go do the show. >> guillermo: just one more second. okay, let's go. >> jimmy: okay. >> from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live." tonight -- plus idris elba, chef rene redzepi, and music from chvrches and now, i'll remind you, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ jimmy kimmel live ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] thank you for watching. thank you for being here tonight. this is -- this is going to be a -- a big fat show. because we are, we are coming to you with only two commercial breaks tonight. it will almost be like hbo only with less nudity

>> jimmy: oh. okay, um -- [ making donald duck sounds ] [ laughter ] that's such a giveaway. [ making donald duck sounds ] i'm spitting on you. i'm sorry! i'm spitting on everybody! not goofy. not mickey mouse. >> daffy? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he wears a sailor outfit with no pants. trump's first name is? >> donald. donald duck! [ cheers and applause ] okay, when you go to the bar and you have to pay something? >> a tab. >> no, you have -- >> a bill. a check. a cover. >> yes, but it's a cover -- >> cover charge. >> yes. [ shrieking ] >> oh, my god! i eat it for breakfast every morning! [ buzzer ] >> jimmy: oh. [ sad tuba ] [ cheers and applause ] >> what does it mean? >> jimmy: you eat it for breakfast every morning? i don't know! i don't live with you! i don't know what you eat for breakfast! never were roommates with you, ever! oatmeal, great. now we know what giada eats for breakfast. here we go. >> you know what it is. i'm thinking about it right now. >> jimmy: i don't know. [ laughter ] i alre

. >> jimmy: oww! >> it's a sharpie. jimmy? >> jimmy: yeah? >> relax. >> jimmy: oh. >> what a puss. >> jimmy: shut up. don't say that. questlove! is it bad? >> questlove: uh, err -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: ahh! [ dramatic music ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ oh, my god. all right. [ laughter ] >> uh-oh. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you forget something? what are you looking for? >> this was your first choice? >> jimmy: that's my earring? [ laughter ] >> how does it feel? >> jimmy: it hurts. >> no, it doesn't hurt yet. this is going to hurt. are you shaking or is that me? >> jimmy: it's me. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: it's all cleaned up, let's see the final thing. ready? [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> there's a pair. you want to go for the other side? >> jimmy: no! no, no, no, no. you want to put that one on? just put that guy in that guy? we have matching earrings? >> it does go with my outfit. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] we have to do that and get a photo. harrison ford just pierced my ear, you guys. this is great. [

>> steve: right there, jimmy fallon. >> jimmy: i'm right here. >> jimmy fallon? ♪ whatever, man. hey, listen, we've got to get this sketch put away. if you can come to the voiceover -- >> hey, man, what's up miles? ♪ >> hey, man. >> hey, what's up. >> have you seen jimmy? >> jimmy: i'm right here. i'm right here. the lamp's right there. >> how's it going, man? have you guys seen jimmy or miles? we supposed to have, like, a writer's meeting. >> he's right there. >> he's right where? >> this jimmy thing is annoying, though, because i really need to talk to that guy and i can't find him anywhere. >> jimmy: i'm right here. oh, my gosh, this is so infuriating. and seriously, no one can tell me what's going on with this lamp? >> i still don't see miles. >> i still don't have any idea who you're talking to. but i could use a lamp in my office, so if you see one, let me know. >> oh, yeah sure. >> look, if you see jimmy, can you tell him we're looking for him? >> jimmy: i'm right here. >> steve: dude, it's like they can't see you or something. >> seriously, who are you talking to? >> wh

but jimmy fallon happening right now. jimmy! ♪ >> steve: from studio 6a in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh that's fantastic. that's what i'm talking about. thank you all very much. hot crowd right there. great new york city crowd. welcome. [ cheers and applause ] welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon." you guys feeling good tonight? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: well, here's what people are talking about. yesterday, kenyan runner geoffrey mutai, geoffrey mutai took just two hours and eight minutes to win the new york city marathon. [ cheers and applause ] two hours. not to be outdone, i spent more than four hours on the couch watching a "duck dynasty" marathon. [ laughter ] thank you very much. [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: big marathon fan. >> jimmy: yeah. let's see what's going on in washington. president obama gave his we

. >> jimmy: sad. really sad. >> steve: you look so sad. ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, butterball, for announcing that there's a shortage of large turkeys in the u.s. clearly, you haven't looked in canada. [ laughter and applause ] that's the best picture. best picture of anyone in the whole wide world. >> steve: greatest picture. >> jimmy: greatest picture ever. >> steve: if would you do that for a comedy sketch, would go come on that's too much. >> jimmy: that's real photo. >> yeah. ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, thanksgiving traffic. on one hand, you're annoying. the other hand, every minute i spend stuck in you is one less minute i spend stuck with my family. so, thank you, holiday traffic. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ thank you, peacocks, for being turkeys that came out of the closet. [ laughter and applause ] thanksgiving is a very kind holiday. you know what? i encourage any -- >> steve: any time is the right time. >> jimmy: any turkey that wants to do it this thanksgiving, go for it. ♪ thank you, clear m

. >> jimmy: i'll clean it up during the commercial break. [ chanting ] >> audience: jimmy, jimmy, jimmy! >> jimmy: oh! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: cornocopola. yes! >> all right. now this one. >> jimmy: i don't know. >> i'm not sure how we're going to do this. >> jimmy: i have no advice. >> i'm going for the whole bowl. >> jimmy: i could go for the whole bowl, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] between the legs on this one. >> i'm thinking -- i'm going with a side shot. >> jimmy: all right. oh. [ audience oohs ] >> made a good splatter though. it was a nice splatter. >> jimmy: it was a good splatter. >> i think you're going to make it. >> jimmy: you do? >> i'm going to stand right here. >> jimmy: oh, my gosh. >> here we go. ♪ >> jimmy: you ready? >> be careful. don't get any on your pants. [ audience oohs ] >> jimmy: that was frightening. that was a little scary. there's plastic shards all over the place. here we go. it's a tied game. all right. you've got to make this one. >> is this worth two points? [ audience oohs ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah. it's the money turke

and now, behold, here's jimmy kimmel! ♪ >> jimmy: that's very nice! thank you. [ cheers and applause ] welcome to the show. thank you for watching. [ indiscernible ] thank you very much. i have a -- i have a great story for you tonight. do we have any canadians in our studio? [ cheers and applause ] excellent. i need your help. how many of you are familiar with toronto mayor rob ford? [ applause ] if you aren't let me catch you up. rob ford has been mayor of toronto for three years. he was a city councilman, seven years before that. since then he has been involved in a number of shenanigans, most notably a video seen by reporters from "the toronto star" that showed mayor ford smoking what they described as a crack pipe. but the video some how disappeared after they saw it. mayor ford claimed it did not exist. he said it was a media conspiracy against him. last week the chief of police in toronto announced he has the video and plans to show it. now in court. which changed things a bit. so today after several days of dodging the press, the mayor held tw

. >> jimmy: i hate it. >> i like it. >> jimmy: really? >> yeah. >> jimmy: what do you do? treadmill? >> sometimes. i do more of a cardio. i like to dance a lot so i take a dance class. >> jimmy: really? like zumba? >> not zumba, not zumba. i take something called a.k.t. which is the anna kaiser technique. >> jimmy: anna kaiser? >> she teaches you hip hop dancing. >> jimmy: oh, really? >> yeah, that's right, i said hip hop. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: hip hop dancing. >> hip hop dancing, yeah. >> jimmy: what is it -- >> i can't do it, it's too embarrassing. >> jimmy: come on. >> no i can't do it. >> jimmy: you can't? >> i can't. ♪ >> jimmy: anna kaiser dancing. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: absolutely don't do that anymore. that was no twerking. that was wow -- >> could you see my underpants? >> jimmy: no, we couldn't do that. >> i just want to make sure -- >> jimmy: so, i'm always looking for a short cut to lose weight. so i thought here is a good idea. someone sent this to me. we can do this while we're interviewing. they're called sauna pants. >> sauna pants? >> jim

and now, while we're at it, here's jimmy kimmel! >> jimmy: welcome! thank you for watching. thank you for showering me with your affection. i did need another shower. that's very nice. we have a, a great show for you tonight. hopefully to match your enthusiasm, jennifer garner, david arquette, and music from arcade fire. great band. arcade fire. on the roof of capital records building down the street. their new album "reflection" came out. if you don't buy it they will jump off the capital records building to. night is a difficult night for our announcer, dickey he has a thick boston accent. in case you hadn't noticed. dickey, pronounce the names of the guests tonight. go through it one more time. >> we had jennifer garner, david arquette, and arcade fire. >> jimmy: there you go. boston. and good accent. guillermo does, believe it or not, guillermo does imitations and does a boston accent, too. >> guillermo: little bit. >> jimmy: do your boston accent ape little bit for us. >> guillermo: i got an apartment, i went to harvard, i want some clam chowder. [ cheers and applause ]

♪ jimmy kimmel live [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: hi, i'm jimmy. welcome to the show. thank you for watching. thank you for being here. on this momentous occasion. i appreciate that. i will say it is -- i'm glad, it is a special day today. a special date. today is november 12, 2013, or 11/12/13. you realize what that means, guillermo, right? >> guillermo: i don't know. >> jimmy: it means nothing. but my plan is to make this the best 11/12/13 of your life. the one-and-only robin williams is here with us. [ cheers and applause ] and -- we are hosting the first of two nights with the killers. tonight. for practice. tomorrow they nail it. not easy to get the kill tires play on your show on consecutive nights. they fell for the you have to book minimum of two nights requirement, trick. it is rare we ask band to play two nights in a row. snoop dog did it once in the first week. he forgot he played here the first week. he went with. we have something else fun tonight. a month ago cast of "modern family" was here. adults from the show. and we played a round of "modern family"

"jimmy fallon" happeng now. jimmy! [ chrs and applause ] ♪ >> sve: from studio 6a in rockefeller cente the national broadcaing compy presents -- tonight's guests are -- an as always, the lendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy faon! [ cheers and appuse ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmygood to see you, buddy. welcome to "late nig," evybody! you guys feeli good? [ cheers and alause ] happy monday. welcome, welme, welcome. weave a great show tonht as always. it's really, really fun. but thanyou for being here. i appreciate it. let's talk about what's ing on in the news. big news for fans of "du dynasty." cheers ] love that show. a great show. well, the cast of "duck dynasty" is now selling tir own brand of we at walmart. [ lahter ] r just $10. the great part is if you drink five bottles, you start to understand what ey are saying "duck dynasty." oh yeah, i get i [ applause ] that's right. "duck dynasty," cheap booze and walmart. or as rednecks call that, the trifecta. [ laughter ] ll, our pal miley cyrus is in

>> jimmy: all right. you see what i am sake. next one. >> jimmy it is your aunt -- >> jimmy: all right, what does that sound like to you? >> angry. >> jimmy: let's find out. >> you are up for the emmy, i am so excited! i am so excited! and i think i wet myself anyway. i am so happy for you. i love you. i love you. i love you. bye. >> jimmy: once again. that's one -- the next one. hey, jim it is aunt chippy. g >> jimmy: happy or angry? >> angry. >> the only way to get ahold of you this is your aunt. the only way to get ahold of you, i will get a carrier pigeon that [ bleep ] on your head when i call you or leave a message for you. i love you. when you get a chance. give me a call. >> jimmy: a little of each. we have one more. >> i have waited since 5:30 this morning to call you to wish you a happy birthday. >> happy? >> jimmy: all right. let's see. >> i waited at 6:30, that's too early, i will let him sleep. 7:30, no. 8:30. it's 9:30, where the -- i called to wish you a happy birthday. don't play this [ bl

jimmy. >> jimmy: you are blindfolded. can you see anything at all? >> guillermo: no. >> jimmy: you have got a lot of gel in your hair tonight. that is going to be crucial. we played this. remember how the game works? >> yeah, unfortunately. >> jimmy: he doesn't like the game. put an animal on guillermo's head. you can ask three, yes/no questions to try to figure out what animal it is. if you guess one correctly, you will win a prize, okay. >> okay. >> jimmy: very good. bring out animal expert. here with animal number one, the famous turtle man from animal planet, ernie brown jr. from "call of the wild." hello. how are you? all right, now guillermo do you hear ernie behind you? >> guillermo: yeah. >> live action! >> jimmy: are you concerned at all? >> no, it is okay. >> jimmy: okay. ernie, put that -- animal. on guillermo's head. are the animals allergic to hair gel. because he has got a lot in there. all right, guillermo, go ahead, ask questions. >> yeah. >> guillermo: this pet gets very big? >> two fists size. >> jimmy:

"jimmy fallon" happening next! see you tomorrow. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: from studio 6a in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: what's up, buddy? hey. hey. [ cheers and applause ] welcome. that's a hot crowd right there, higgins. [ cheers and applause ] what do you think, huh? thank you. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon," everybody. you guys feeling good? [ cheers and applause ] you guys feeling sexy tonight? here's what people are talking about. welcome to our show. it's fun. a fun show tonight. it's been a rough week for president obama. oh, man, i mean, he finally had to admit that obamacare is a flop. it's just a mess, complete mess. but get this, now the white house is coming out with a way for americans to bypass the obamacare website and buy policies directly from insurance companies. [ laughter ] it's

>> jimmy: this is my shotski. >> jimmy's jam right now. >> jimmy: this is my shotski. >> this is your jam. this is pineapple juice and jaeger. >> jimmy: that's correct. >> which is called a -- >> jimmy: surfer on acid. and a little bit of ga-ga pee. a little bit. >> don't waste it, it's going to be worth so much. >> okay, we can do this? >> jimmy: here we go. ready? >> one, two, three. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: andy cohen, "watch what happens live" airs sunday through thursday, at 11:00 p.m. on bravo. cut copy performs next. come on back everbody. >> thank you guys for doing my song. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ thisck f briladay nobody is busting out the doorbusters like sears. because you can save 40% or more on appliance doorbusters. including 50% off this kenmore refrigerator. and take 50% off each of these kenmore elite refrigerators. plus save 50% off each of these kenmore laundry pairs. and why wait? starting 7:00 pm this friday, members of our free rewards program get early access to these black friday doorbusters at sears.com. don't miss black friday at sears. is one t

. >> jimmy: did you go on a date? >> we did. >> jimmy: where did you go? >> marry's restaurant. >> jimmy: would you look to go on another date, if you would, we will send you on another date. >> with pleasure. >> jimmy: i hope you name the child after me, that that's haul i ask. boy or girl. doesn't matter. tonight on the show, larry king, music from daughtry, and we'll be right back with elizabeth banks. don't go away. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ my, oh my. would you look at that? ♪ girl, we could make some beautiful music together! she's slender, she's portable, and silver! wha? oh no she didn't. she just took her top off? a tablet and a laptop in one? oh wee! what more can a man ask for? the hp split x2 ultrabook with beats audio and an intel core processor. plan the honeymoon! >> jimmy: tonight on the program you can watch his show "larry king now" on hulu and ora.tv. he is here tonight celebrating his 80th birthday, larry king is here. i might need to run out and get him something. and then, larry's favorite band, their new album came out today.

but jimmy fallon happening ght now. jimmy! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: from stuo 6a in rockefellerenter, the national broadcastin company esents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the legendary ros crew. and now,ere he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you veryvery much! welcome, everybody. pleasewelcome. w, what a bunch of crazy people, welcome to. "latnight with jimmy faln." at's the energy i love. i appreciate you being here. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh my gosh. you guys are actg like -- u guys are acting li a bunch of mayors from toronto! [ laughter ] my man, rob ford, the mayor of toronto, he's just out of control, that guy. seems like a great guy, admitted to buying illegal drugs. he admted to smoking crack while heas still mayor. [ laughter ] and now they're trying tforce him to take a leave of absence while they figure this all o. wh asked what he wouldo with his time off, he was like, "i'll probably smoke cck." [ lahter ] stop asking questi

. >> jimmy jimmy. >> over the. jimmy: not me. >> do that again [ lking over each othe] >> jimmy: not me. >> jimmy: at is not me. >> bill, save your - bill, hey, hey, hey, buddy. >> jimmy? >> yes. >> it's . >> jimmy. >> yes. [ laughter ] >> did you come -- >> no. [ talking over each her ] >> jimmy, do you have hair o your legs? i'm ripping it off -- don't get -- don't getiolent. what happened here? >> oka >> oh, oh,h. >> are you hurt in. >> d you say you have a perm? [ laughter ] >> it's a betiful sweater. >> i'm leaving. [ cheers and applause ] >> oh. okay. i got to go overere. ♪ which wa i hearyou guys played something bere i walked out. and i want you to know, thanks to you, i have piece, you know, fore i walked out, not the "sweet georgia brown" hello? [ laughter ] >> i was getting scared. >> jimmy: no, don't get scared >> you know the thing u played before i walked out, before you played "sweet georgibrown?" >> yes. >> i want you to play itgain, because i have my life fm age 66 on. [ laughter ] is that that g

but jimmy fallon happening right now. jimmy! ♪ >> steve: from studio 6a in rockefeller center, the national broadcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and as always the legendary roots crew. and here he is -- jimmy fallon! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: oh, that feels good! that is what i'm talking about right there! a great, great new york city crowd. welcome to "late night," everybody. thank you so much for being here. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon." oh, my gosh. [ cheers ] that's a great feeling. thank you. welcome. welcome, everybody. hey, guys, just a reminder that this weekend is the end of daylight savings time. so to put it another way, your microwave is about to have the right time on it again. [ cheers ] everybody who waited it out -- everybody have a good halloween? [ cheers ] it seemed like everybody got into the spirit this year, even the white house. i read that last night the obamas gave out dried fruit to more than 5,000 trick-or-treaters. [ laughter ] in

>> jimmy: maddie. good job, maddie. [ applause ] >> they came up from the north -- from the north georgia zoo. >> jimmy: don't do that. the monkeys -- the animals are learning from you. >> they came up from the north georgia zoo. they're pretty neat and they got some great animals. but this next animal i have for you. and my brother's going to bring it out. it's a jackass leading a jackass. >> jimmy: don't let him do that to you. don't let him do that to you. >> sorry, i love you. got nothing but love for you. got nothing but love for you. this is star. it's a miniature donkey. they're from sicily and sardinia. they're mainly a pet species. you can pet him. you can feel him. don't touch the ass. go around. well, you can pet the ass, but go around. on the way here we hauled ass. then we got here, we had to lift the ass, and now we're here and you're looking at my ass. [ laughter ] i just always -- >> jimmy: i'm so sorry. >> i just always wanted to say that. >> jimmy: oh, wow. >> but come on over here. t

dean pork sausages, jimmy hendrix and jimmy buffett cds. an action figure. autographed picture of jimmy smits, jimmy neutron on dvd and a letter from jimmy's actual mother telling you she loves you. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: thank you, luke, thank you, lornlg. appreciate it. tonight on the show david blaine is here. we have music from charlie wilson. we'll be right back with sarah silverman. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ trek, look at that sleek form. i'd introduce her to my mom! oh yeah, not only is she super bad, beats audio gives her rich, dynamic sound. whoo! mmmm oh here it comes! ooo eee uuu ... yeah!!!! did you see that? put it in the bag! that's what i'm talking about. a laptop and a tablet. i'm in love! the hp spectre x2. with beats audio. and an intel core processor. i can't wait to bluetooth with her! hurry into the sears veteran's day event you want big savings? and save 30-40% off appliance super buys like this kenmore stainless steel refrigerator. save 44%. and, with our free rewards program you can get 10% in points whe

♪ jimmy kimmel live ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: here we go. i'm jimmy. welcome to the show. thank you very much. thank you for being with us. thank you for -- thank you for braving the elements to be here tonight. the weather was wow, i think we got 1/18 inch of precipitation over the last 24 hours. we have counselors available if any one was hit by a rain drop. for those of you who live in normal cities it rained here this morning. i don't know if we will ever be able to recover from it. everyone was late to work here this morning. everyone was complaining abut -- about the traffic. you would think we got hit by a tornado. we got .26 inches of ran for real. i think you get wetter if someone sneezes. that did not stop the local news channels to spring into action to cover every drop of storm watch 2013. >> check out the new video in from the wharf. puddles building up there. our team is standing by. >> it is not too bad. >> just within the past few minutes. the wind started picking up a little bit and started drizzling a little bit. >> talking about a go

but jimmy fallon happening right now. jimmy! [ cheers and appuse ] ♪ >> steve: from studio 6a in rockefeller center, the national badcasting company presents -- tonight's guests are -- and featuring the gendary roots crew. and here he -- jimmfallon! cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers a applause ] >> jimmywelcome, everybody. welcome! welcome! that's a hot crowd. that's what i'm talking about. welce, everybody. i el the love. welcome to "late night with jimmy fallon." [ cheers and applause ] oh, i love you very much you make me feel good. welcome, everybody hey, it was just aounced today that theoots and i are going to be inhe macy's thanksgivi day parade. [ cheers and applause ] that should be very fun. >> jimmy: i ard that -- more big news. i heard that the ct of "duck dynasty" will also be in the parade. [ audience oohs ] those guys are erywhere. yeah, they got the tv show they g cookbooks. now they're ing to be in the macy's thanksgiving day parade. ki at the parade are going to beike, "santa's coming [ laughter ] other sant

jimmy: yeah. >> yeah. >> jimmy: we did, yeah. >> this s before we were -- >> jimmy: neither of us were married. >> -- married, yeah. >> jimmy: we didn't really know each other tt well. >>o, nice to meet you d then our tongues were in each others mouth. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: it was unbelievable. yeah. for me especially. >>t's great. it was memorable. >> jimmy: yeah. certainly was. don't forget it ever. the idea was- i know. [ ughter ] yeahi can't look at you. >> i know. [ laughter ] it'super awkward. >> jimmy: thbit was -- the bit was i think the bit wathat we were -- in order for me to host the vmas you we my girlfriend or something? or -- i asked them- i don't get whathe joke was. >> i don't really remember. >> jimmy: oh, i know. maybe the joke was that we were --- we're on a date and like -you weren't into me at all. anthen the tv says thai'm going to hosthe vmas. and go, i'm hosting the vmas? then you go, you are hostinghe vmas? i go, cool, man or something like that. >>es. hilarious. jimmy: we have the clip. yeah, it's hilarious. let's see hofunny this is. it'srom 20 years ago. >>

jimmy, jimmy, jimmy, i didn't know, i was like, oh, i dent know what to do? i didn't know what to do. i was sure i was, i dent knidn' what to do. i was just stuck, like [ bleep ] what do i do? i'm going back to jail. he comes up and seen these people naked, and their eyes are glassy, and i'm high, and oh, god. >> jimmy: that is a fix that you found yourself in is what it is. >> very difficult quagmire. ha-ha. >> jimmy: really good to see you. hope you have a great thanksgiving. mike tyson, everybody. and "undisputed" the book. get it out right now. we'll be right back with music from linkin park and steve aoki. >> jimmy: new best friends. >>> jimmy: i'd like to thank casey affleck, mike tyson and apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time. nightline is next, but first from this album "recharged" here with the song "a light that never comes" linkin park and steve aoki. ♪ put them up y'all ♪ nah you don't know me lightning above and a fire below me you cannot catch me ♪ ♪ cannot hold me you cannot stop much less control me when it rains it pours ♪ wh

>> jimmy: that's guillermo. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ hi, gym mow. >> guillermo: hi, jimmy. >> jimmy: blindfolded can you see anything at all? >> guillermo: no. >> jimmy: you have got a lot of gel in your hair tonight. crucial. we played this. remember how the game works? >> yeah, unfortunately. >> jimmy: he doesn't like the game. put an animal on guillermo's head. you can ask, three questions to find out what answer. if you guess one correctly, you will win a prize, okay. >> okay. >> jimmy: very good. bring out animal expert. here with animal number one, the famous turtle man from animal planet, ernie brown jr. from "call of the wild." hello. how are you? all right, now guillermo do you hear ernie behind you? >> guillermo: yeah. >> jimmy: are you concerned at all? >> no, it is okay. >> jimmy: okay. ernie, put that -- animal. on guillermo's head. are the animal as ls allergic tr gel. go ahead, ask questions. >> guillermo: is the head very big? >> two fists size. >> jimmy: yeah, a big one. next question. >> guillermo: oh, is the animal can be indoor or outdoor? both? >> jimmy: not a y

and now, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: thank you for being here. [ indiscernible ] i appreciate that. great show of hand, how many were in line because you thought you would get 40% off on electronics tonight. happy thanksgiving. tonight i am thankful for you. and the first thanksgiving was held in 1621. it lasted three days, it was burning man for people and then it became a national holiday, 150 years ago by order of abraham lincoln. at that time in the middle of a civil war. americans were killing each otheric human rights. and many years later we kill over discounted playstations. more than anything, play station means three nights of sleeping in my childhood bed. uncomfortable part about thanksgiving, you sit down to eat. before you do, your mom decides everyone should go around the table and decide what you are thankful for. that is the part i am least thankful for, to be honest with you. you can't eat in till you answer. a good idea to go in with an answer in mind. here's on

jimmy? >> thanks, and here's some of the magic that's waiting for you after the news. >> ladies and gentlemen, noon hour the special musical birthday treatment to me from fabulous las vegas, the taylors. ♪ [ music ] ♪ jimmy, it's your birthday ♪ you're watching a year slip away until the day that you pass away ♪ ♪ oh, birthday, good morning nelly! woah. hey! have you ever tried honey nut cheerios? love 'em. neat! now you on the other hand... you need some help. why? look atchya. what is that? you mean my honey wand? [ shouting ] [ splat ] come on. matter of fact. [ rustling ] shirt. shoes. shades. ah! wow! now that voice... my voice? [ auto-tuned ] what's wrong with my voice? yeah man, bee got swag! be happy! be healthy! that's gotta go too. ♪ hey! must be the honey! [ sparkle ] sweet. she's just gif-ing out, honey what's up with grandma? ♪ hey! must be the honey! over the great deals she got at kmart. i didn't know grandma could move like that. friday and saturday family outer

. >> jimmy: yeah. and then we had the extravaga-ganza with lady gaga. >> jimmy: all three of them were absolutely insane. i tell everybody that the oprah interview in particular, one of the best interviews i've seen, ever. oprah ever do with anyone. >> thank you. >> jimmy: you go her -- you went for it. >> i did. i asked her, the last time she smoked the good herb. >> jimmy: yeah. i mean, who would have the guts to ask oprah that. >> i wanted to know. >> jimmy: did she rememeber? >> she said like '84 or '85. [ light laughter ] i was like, "sweetie." >> jimmy: yeah, hello. >> come in the back. [ laughter ] anyway, and then what else. we talked about that. i asked her if she had ever swum in the lady pond. >> jimmy: i couldn't believe you asked that. >> she goes, "what?" >> jimmy: once she put it together. >> and then she said, "no, i haven't." and then we moved on.

jimmy was not turning himself in. >> james steven max well, he would be considered somewhat of a legend around here. >> i've taken down heavies. >> but now consequences well beyond what a judge can give him. >> that's the next jimmy maxwell. >> it's hard to explain a wasted life. he felt like he was meant for more. >> i love you very much, brendan, and i'm sorry i wasn't there for you. >> now lockup telling the story of a criminal legend, the family he left behind, and the devastating consequences of his decisions. living in the heart of tornado alley, people in tulsa, oklahoma know to be ready for a destructive force of nature. it's also that way inside the walls of a half million square foot structure in downtown, the criminal justice center for the tulsa county jail. >> another day in para dice. >> most of the 1800 men and women have been charged with crimes and awaiting trial of the resolution of their cases. but newly arrived james maxwell is an exception. he's not only a convict, but is as familiar to staff and

i'm jimmy justice. >> but the man who calls himself jimmy justice won't back down. >> they're afraid of me. >> you're not allowed to do that. >> and they're afraid of my video camera. >> what are you doing? move away from the vehicle. >> i'm filming you breaking the law. >> his goal -- to bring justice, vigilante justice, to the streets of new york, streets on which he says he sees a double standard. >> everybody else gets summonsed the second they break the law. you're in a "no-standing" zone. it's a bus stop. >> so what? >> you would give a ticket to somebody else that did that. >> yes. >> but the people writing those summonses drive around the city like cowboys and do whatever they want with impunity. and i wanted to bring justice. i wanted to level the playing field. >> it all begins in 2005. a fuse is lit when jimmy justice sees a traffic agent make a u-turn over a double yellow line. in his mind, an obvious violation of the law. he starts reporting the violations he sees to law enforcement by taking still photos. but he says his complaints go nowhere. so he comes up with a plan

i'm jimmy justice. >> but the man who calls himself jimmy justice won't back down. >> they're afraid of me. >> you're not allowed to do that. >> and they're afraid of my video camera. >> what are you doing? move away from the vehicle. >> i'm filming you breaking the law. >> his goal -- to bring justice, vigilante justice, to the streets of new york, streets on which he says he sees a double standard. >> everybody else gets summonsed the second they break the law. you're in a "no-standing" zone. it's a bus stop. >> so what? >> you would give a ticket to somebody else that did that? >> yes. >> but the people writing those summonses drive around the city like cowboys and do whatever they want, with impunity. and i wanted to bring justice. i wanted to level the playing field. >> it all begins in 2005. a fuse is lit when jimmy justice sees a traffic agent make a u-turn over a double yellow line. in his mind, an obvious violation of the law. he starts reporting the violations he sees to law enforcement by taking still photos. but he says his complaints go nowhere. so he comes up with a pla

he's dangerous. >> jimmy knows he sounds like a crybaby. but he says this is a serious issue that needs attention. and he thinks these antics help. >> you broke the law. >> what has jimmy justice so upset in this video? these new york city sanitation enforcement agents are blocking a bus stop. >> look, the buses can't get through, can they, thomas? >> yeah, yeah. >> look, skippy. can the buses get through? no. they can't get through because of you. they can't get through because you parked your official vehicle, blocking a bus stop. a designated "no standing" zone, skip pio. >> they parked not at the edge of the bus stop, to allow room for the buses to come in and out. they're right in the middle. it's disgusting. >> jimmy isn't only furious because of what he sees here at the bus stop. minutes earlier and a few blocks away, he caught these same sanitation enforcement agents blocking a fire hydrant. >> you're parking your official city vehicle blocking a fire pump? you ought to be ashamed of yourself. you're supposed to enforce the law, not

who's jimmy kimmel. >> jimmy kimmel told me to do this. >> he did? >> he told me to eat all of your candy. >> what? he doesn't like me. >> he doesn't like you? >> no he doesn't. >> i spent two hours walking around the whole entire neighborhood getting candy. >> just kidding. >> mom! why did you do that every halloween? >> i ate all of your halloween candy yesterday. you want to call her? she's at school. >> tell her to come home and bring me me my candy. >> she can't. she ate it. >> that [ bleep ]. >> out of the mouths of babes. thanks to all of the kids and their terrible parents who pitched in and made that possible. tonight on the show, artie lang is here. we have music from jane's addiction. and we'll be right back with chris hemsworth. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ yeah, i dream about bacon. [sfx] wham! so i'm bringing back the blt cheeseburger combo. a juicy jumbo beef patty loaded with hickory smoked bacon and melting cheese plus fries and a drink for just $4.99. but this isn't a dream. it's just a video from my last birthday party. to those who

. >> jimmy: didn't you go to the movies with -- >> yeah. thers a scene in the show where i'm at my first moviwith bill holliday. >> jimmy: with billie holiday. >> and it's -- it's a very funny kindf wonderful thing to play as an acr. >> jimmy: i love the opening is bob sheppard, does thepening. i'not going on ruin thjoke. bu it's a great -- it starts off funny and en funny. it'such a good -- look at all the people -- >> this is the svenir book which i thought you'd get a kick out of. it has a lot of pictures from "snland stuff that i was on. >> jmy: all billy crystal. [ applse ] th is yul brynner's sister. >> this was from a skeh we did when i was on "snl," cald "life styles of the latives of the rich and famous." and i was yubrynner's sister, ruth who was a tvel agent. [ light laughter i said -- [ imitatg accent ] "i can get there, but you have to go totlanta." [ laughter ] it wasn "snl." eat times. di't you have good tim when you did it? you had to cnge really fast?

♪ jimmy kimmel now >> jimmy: thank you for watching. we have got a -- a wonderful program lined up for you tonight. my favorite band named after a vegetable is here tonight. and the cast of "modern family" is here with us. [ cheers and applause ] we didn't have room for the kids, too. our couch only holds five people so somebody is going to have to sit on my lap. the winter olympics are four months away from today but the olympic torch is already being run. after the official lighting ceremony in greece, the torch arrived in russia this weekend and it ran into a little snag. that's former world swimming champion. the wind blew it out. which would never have happened if they had used the new olympic e-torch. i think if it blows out they would have to run it back to greece and start over. he got a light from a security guard. i love that a guy running with a global symbol of athleticism needed help from somebody with a cigarette lighter. what a proud day for smokers all over the world. this is an abc show on sunday nights. sometimes you a