stewart. -- this is "the daily show" with jon stewart. ["daily show" theme song playing] [cheers and applause] >> jon: welcome to "the daily show". my name is jon stewart. [cheers and applause] tonight's guest, it's a fine one. tonight's guest presidential historian johnny knoxville will be joining us. last night washington, d.c. president barack obama delivered his fifth state of the union address with the help of congressional ball bouncers and youon. wow that is right up to the came virginia what having google glass sex looks like. wow. even they couldn't keep at dooring crowd back from the president. ladies, no. he is not a piece of meat. no. ladies it's going to stick all night. he has to do his speech! let the man tell us the state of the union. i've got $5 on strong. >> my fellow americans, today in america a teac

stewart -- world news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with jon stewart. ["daily show" theme song playing] [cheers and applause] >> jon: welcome to "the daily show". my name is jon stewart. and happy birthday, maggie. happy birthday. my guest tonight elizabeth banks "the lego movie." which i've already seen four times. [laughter] why know if you saw it on fox sunday there but before the seahawks scrimmaged with the -- [cheers and applause] -- team of stoned colorado teenagers --

my name is jon stewart. and happy birthday, maggie. happy birthday. my guest tonight elizabeth banks "the lego movie." which i've already seen four times. [laughter] why know if you saw it on fox sunday there but before the seahawks scrimmaged with the -- [cheers and applause] -- team of stoned colorado teenagers -- [laughter] -- fox air another world-class matchup as the most powerful man in the free world sat down with obama to cover topics like loose nukes, middle east peace, trade regulations and the environment. i'm just (bleep) with you. >> libya. your detractors believe you did not tell the world it was a terror attack because your campaign didn't want that out. i have to get to the irs. you are say nothing corruption with the health care. when did you know there were problems with the computers? >> jon: look at that o'reilly dipping wholescale in the full fox scandal of grab bag. though they've been investigated on multiple occasion it's a big show, it's a super bowl preshow you have to play the hits. do you think the chili peppersps are going

[applause] jon: welcome to the daily show, my name is jon stewart. we have a good one tonight. our guest tonight, toronto star reporter robyn doolittle, has written a book about -- a gentleman named rob ford, apparently he's

so what is jon stewart's excuse? here is the comedy central sometimes funnyman taking a shot at our reporting at lou dobbs tonight in his recurring bs mountain segment. >> the government is effectively incentivizing amicans to stop working. >> you know, like social security incentivizes americans to not die at their job. well, hey! it's nice to witness the birth of a new talking point. giving someone health care is all that it takes to geteople to stop showing up to work, i don't know why we don't chip in lou dobbs some health care. >> jon stewart once was too intellectually rigorous to ignore the truth or try to avoid it. he's been living on that bs mountain for far too long apparently and is obviously fallen off one of the slippery slopes or no longer possesses the intellectual integrity to show the congressional budget office director making the exact statement that i was reporting. let's take a look at douglas he will men door of and listen to his testimony wednesday. >> by providing heavily subsidized health ins

and last night on the jon stewart show, he made the house minority leader his main punch line. watch this. >> okay, we're going to set up a health care website that is an exchange, people are going to come to it. why is it so hard to get a company to execute that competently? >> i don't know. and -- as one -- no, and my question -- >> well, let me get the house minority leader here, i can ask her. wait, what do you mean you don't know? how do you not know? >> well, it is not my responsibility. >> all right, reaction from the great american panel, we have our panelist here, former ms. american kirsten hagelin, it is pretty bad when jon stewart is begging me to stay in new york and taking on nancy pelosi. >> yeah, i haven't figured out the begging you to stay in new york part. i know i'm supposed to defend her, this is not the worst thing nancy pelosi has ever said. >> first of all, yes, you have to pass the bill to find out what is in it. i have nothing to do with it. $600 million, six and a half years. >> the truth of it is, i wouldn't expect her to know how the site was built.

my name is jon stewart. [cheers and applause] you know, one of my favorites is here. one of my favorite guests is here tonight. from "goldbergs", television's "the goldbergs" is here tonight jeff garlin. but first, a crisis brewing right here in new york. it began last week with remarks from governor andrew cuomo. >> it's the republican party in this state a moderate party or an extremely conservative party? who are they? are these they extreme conservatives who are right to life, pro-assault weapon, anti-gay? is that what they are -- who they are? [laughter] >> jon: i didn't know there were that many sill liables -- sill -- sylallsble circumstances in gay. either he is spending way too much time with senator schumer or he is my grandmother. who are they, gaaaay? >> if that's who they are, if they are the extreme conservatives they have no place in the state of new york. >> jon: whoa. that's a little rough. cuomo wasadvising new york's republican party to clarify the identity to stay viable in this left leaning state but it accidentally came out as (bleep) (bleep), (b

. >> begging me to stay in new york, jon stewart. >> stay, wouldn't you stay? >> the question is, should i. rand paul says things are just fine in the gop, but is it really true? and we'll show you the scarlett johansson commercial that was banned from super bowl sunday. plus, another edition of ask sean coming your way. >> they can ask me anything and i don't know the questions ahead of time. digging up your questions, you ask, i answer. i'm six for six, the last two weekends, we'll see, joe. we're on. >> and it is "hannity" versus joe theisman. and it appears host of jon stewart actually really likes me. >> sean hannity is disgusted, disgusted at the new york mayor's intolerance. we must keep him. but how? nathan? >> sean, we know you're mad at us. and you have every right to be. occupy wall street, governor cuomo, the weird smell. new york has made a lot of big mistakes but we're going to change, just please stay. >> stay. >> stay. >> we can't lose you. >> stay. >> yo, sean, you can't leave, we need you, dog. >> the city debates on you, sean, we'll give you

my name is jon stewart. very, very good show tonight. our guest tonight joel kinneman of roab cop, the story of an -- robo cop, the story of an irish policeman. [laughter] robocop story of an irish robot. [ laughter ] but, of course, first. ♪ [laughter] you know the vaguely olympic sounding but yet still public domain means it is time for "the daily show" update norway currently leads the medical count with 12 and followed by the netherlands and canada and followed by white slyvania and albinostan. the winter games is the only games where to do well you have to look exactly like the surface you are competing on. normally in the winter olympic it's as an advantage to be from a country known for its more tund dra like winters. but in sochi. >> the winter olympics in sochi are feeling more like at summer games. high temperature today 59 degrees. >> up on the slopes we saw bare earth where there should be snow. the mercury topping 60 degrees. >> jon: so to be clear it's right now colder in florida than it is at the winter olympics. of cour

in new york, this is the daily show with jon stewart! [applause] jon: welcome to the daily show, my name is jon stewart. we have a good one tonight. our guest tonight, toronto star reporter robyn doolittle, has written a book about -- a gentleman named rob ford, apparently he's the mayor of toronto and a crack aficionado. >> stunning report by the congressional report. >> potentially explosive congressional report. >> a report. >> oh, my god! could it be true? have they actually released the biannual congressional budget office's outlook on the budget and economy entitled the budget and economic outlook 2014 to 2025, appendix -- snoring. labor market effect of the affordable care act, a jack mystery. i can't believe i fell asleep during that. i was nearly a third of the way through the title. i wonder why there's so much excitement about the cbo report. >> cbo projecting the debacle will cost nearly 2 1/2 millions jobs. >> obamacare killing the american dream. >> an extra 1 trillion dollars added to the deficit. >> 10 trillion dollars to

[applause] jon: welcome to the daily show, my name is jon stewart. we have a good one tonight. our guest tonight, toronto star reporter robyn doolittle, has written a book about -- a gentleman named rob ford, apparently he's the mayor of toronto and a crack aficionado. >> stunning report by the congressional report. >> potentially explosive congressional report. >> a report. >> oh, my god! could it be true? have they actually released the biannual congressional budget office's outlook on the budget and economy entitled the budget and economic outlook 2014 to 2025, appendix -- snoring. labor market effect of the affordable care act, a jack mystery. i can't believe i fell asleep during that. i was nearly a third of the way through the title. i wonder why there's so much excitement about the cbo report. >> cbo projecting the debacle will cost nearly 2 1/2 millions jobs. >> obamacare killing the american dream. >> an extra 1 trillion dollars added to the deficit. >> 10 trillion dollars to the deficit. >> they will employ far fewer full-time people, more part-time people. >> this is

so what is jon stewart's excuse? here is the comedy central somemes funnyman taking a shot at our reporting at loudobbs tonight inis recurring bs mountain segment. >> the government is effectively incentivizing americs to stop working. >> you know, like social security incentivizes americans to not die at their job. well, hey! it's nice to witness the birth of a new talking point. giving someone health care is all that it takes to get people to stop showing up to work, i don't know why we dot chip in lou dobbs someealth care. >> jon stewart once was too intellectually rigorous to ignore the truth or try to avoid it. he's been living on that bs mounta for far too long apparently and is obviouy fallen off one of the slippery slopes or no longer possesses the intellectual integrity to show the congressional budget office director making the exact statement that i was reporting. let's take a look at douglas he will men door of and listen to his testimony wednesday. >> by providing heavily subsidized health insurance to p

so what is jon stewart's excuse? here is the comedy central sometimes funnyman taking a shot at our reporting at lou dobbs tonight in his recurring bs mountain segment. >> the government is effectively incentivizing americans to stop working. >> you know, like social security incentivizes americans to not die at their job. well, hey! it's nice to witness the birth of a new talking point. giving someone health care is all that it takes to get people to stop showing up to work, i don't know why we don't chip in lou dobbs some health care. >> jon stewart once was too intellectually rigorous to ignore the truth or try to avoid it. he's been living on that bs mountain for far too long apparently and is obviously fallen off one of the slippery slopes or no longer possesses the intellectual integrity to show the congressional budget office director making the exact statement that i was reporting. let's take a look at douglas he will men door of and listen to his testimony wednesday. >> by providing heavily subsidized health

my name is jon stewart. our program tonight we prepared it. my guest house minority leader nancy pelosi will be joining us of the united state congress. [cheers and applause] that's honestly the only applause the united states congress has gotten in -- [laughter] -- god knows how long. first we've seen a lot of reaction to tuesday's state of the union address. perhaps the most alarming reaction came from senator lindsey graham who told "roll call" that the world is literally about to blow up. i wish it had been on camera. i can't help but wonder what it must have sounded like when lindsey graham said that. how would that sound if lindsey graham would say hello governor -- no that won't be it. the world is literally about to blow up. no new york city. hey what are you gonna do the world -- no, no, not it. i, senator graham do believe -- i do declare that this vessel which we inhabit is about to just explode and me just here all along in my sitting room surrounded by sweet tea and just my figurines. [ laughter ] i didn't take graham seriously, y

jon stewart. ["daily show" theme song playing] [cheers and applause] >> jon: welcome to "the daily show." my name is jon stewart. oh, we have a fine program tonight. my guest elizabeth kolbert author of sixth extinction about how we as a species doomed ourselves. it's a beach read really. [laughter] wanted to wish good health to young bob costas. he dropped out of tonight's coverage due to a nasty eye infection. i told him, bob, do not wash your face with the water. [ laughter ] but bob is all, i'm eight-time sportscaster of the year bob costas surely my eyes eyes are impervious to russian toxins. look at the poor eye. [ laughter ] he's a good man we're going to help him out. to lift some of the burden from bob's pink, goopy shoulders, here is tonight's "the daily show" olympics moment. ♪ that doesn't seem very sensitive. here we go. can i do this. yesterday -- i can do. this yesterday saw canadian skier alex bilodeau. here is alex in the lead he's catching up so he shot him right there the othe

my name is jon stewart. oh, we have a fine program tonight. my guest elizabeth kolbert author of sixth extinction about how we as a species doomed ourselves. it's a beach read really. [laughter] wanted to wish good health to young bob costas. he dropped out of tonight's coverage due to a nasty eye infection. i told him, bob, do not wash your face with the water. [ laughter ] but bob is all, i'm eight-time sportscaster of the year bob costas surely my eyes eyes are impervious to russian toxins. look at the poor eye. [ laughter ] he's a good man we're going to help him out. to lift some of the burden from bob's pink, goopy shoulders, here is tonight's "the daily show" olympics moment. ♪ that doesn't seem very sensitive. here we go. can i do this. yesterday -- i can do. this yesterday saw canadian skier alex bilodeau. here is alex in the lead he's catching up so he shot him right there the other guy died and he fell off a cliff. [ laughter ] so ultimately a big victory for the guy who shot the other guy. [laughter] bob, stay and rest those peep

my name is jon stewart. oh, we have a fine program tonight. my guest elizabeth kolbert author of sixth extinction about how we as a species doomed ourselves. it's a beach read really. [laughter] wanted to wish good health to young bob costas. he dropped out of tonight's coverage due to a nasty eye infection. i told him, bob, do not wash your face with the water. [ laughter ] but bob is all, i'm eight-time sportscaster of the year b

my name is jon stewart. we've got a good one tonight. a whole show we planned out. liam neeson, very tall man, is joining us. he's an actor. i want to get this right away as jason collins becomes the first openly gay professional basketball player. as michael sam prepares to become the first openly gay nfl player the earth continues to spin on its axis and a plague of low justs has yet to descend upon america. because of this lack of catastrophe it's up to states like arizona to pick up the slack. >> arizona's legislature passed the bill on thursday allows business owners as long as they assert their religious beliefs to deny service to gi and lesbian customers [audience boos] >> jon: i believe that is the appropriate response. [laughter] arizona, i'll say something to you with all due respect. you are on a little bit of a roll. you have a law to allow police to ask hispanics for papers, allug doctors to talk to the women about unborn children and now. this you are lucky you are warm and you appear to have the perfect climate for golf and people with asthma because

i'm jon stewart. i have a good one for you tonight. my guest tonight we have your ty burrell. ty burrell son the program best known for modern family but did you know he also plays a time traveling dog? guy has range. the big news the sochi climb bick games began this weekend with the pomp pageantry and nostalgia for dehumanizing industrialization ending with the russian champions running the 1,000 meter olympic torch lighting -- [laughter] and they are -- they are running to light the torch and then it just gets further and further and -- they are running to the -- [laughter] the height is going to go out. -- light is going to go out. a note to affiliates we'll go long on account of the running we'll check back in later. team usa one the first gold in the event of bustage when the american scored in the one meter door hole today create because he couldn't get out of poorly constructed bathroom. they made the bathroom and he couldn't get out of it. it was a huge upset though. gold was expected to go to the kool aid man. kool aid man has to settle tour silver. many storeives so

my name is jon stewart. my guest tonight ronan farrow. he has a new show on a network called msnbc, look it up in your cable guide it's called ronan farrow daily. so i assume that means it will air four days a week for 22 minutes. [laughter] but if i may: i believe it was martin luther king,j who said the arc of the moral universe is long but it bends towards justice. or something like that. [ laughter ] however, appears some of america's fate legislators would like to make that arc longer and maybe have it bend not as much towards justice but towards their own ass. like kansas the wheat state. the place you are desperately trying to get back to from oz, ol boxy. state lawmakers asking their parents is that all you got? [laughter] put your back into it. >> one kansas lawmaker wants to allow parents to hit their kids harder. [laughter] >> jon: yeah. chew on that for a little bit. hello my name is representative gale finney. are you holding back from punching the (bleep) out of your children because you fear legal repercussions? fear no mor

my name is jon stewart. [cheers and applause] hey, everybody. you are here on a fine night. [cheers and applause] the guest tonight mr. george clooney. [cheers and applause] i'm going to let you enjoy that for a little bit because first we're going to talk about syria. [ laughter ] this is kind of the spinach of world news. [ laughter ] you gotta eat it before you get your clooney sundae. [ laughter ] how bad have thinging gotten in syria? nor than two million refugees have fled the country. homs still under bon bardment. historical sites pounded into rubble but not to worry people,

my name is jon stewart. [cheers and applause] hey, everybody. you are here on a fine night. [cheers and applause] the guest tonight mr. george clooney. [cheers and applause] i'm going to let you enjoy that for a little bit because first we're going to talk about syria. [ laughter ] this is kind of the spinach of world news. [ laughter ] you gotta eat it before you get your clooney sundae. [ laughter ] how bad have thinging gotten in syria? nor than two million refugees have fled the country. homs still under bon bardment. historical sites pounded into rubble but not to worry people, the world finally getting together to -- no, no. [ laughter ] not that example. there you go. [ laughter ] coming up on round two of the syrian peace talks in geneva. we're going to hear a recap from the algerian u.n. special envoy to syria. what is the word about homs. >> homs haven't been able to do something. [ laughter ] >> jon: okay, okay. hey, man, you know what? fine that's just one city. this is the u.n. this is the united united states is the west and the east getting together. what abou

my name is jon stewart. our program tonight we prepared it. my guest house minority leader nancy pelosi will be joining us of the united state congress. [cheers and applause] that's honestly the only applause the united states congress has gotten in -- [laughter] -- god knows how long. first we've seen a lot of reaction to tuesday's state of the union address. perhaps the most alarming reaction came from senator lindsey graham who told "roll

["daily show" theme song playing] [cheers and applause] >> jon: my name is jon stewart. welcome to "the daily show". my guest tonight -- this say good one. american hustle. american hustle director david o. russell is joining us tonight. really got a good movie. wow. now, as many of you are aware, the united states -- where we live -- [laughter] has long been at the forefront of explodable technology having advanced in two short centuries from barrels labeled tnt -- [laughter] -- to today's flying tnt barrel delivering unmanned aerial vehicles. and you know what they say, if you got 'em, smoke 'em. >> you united states has been conducting targeted killings in battlefield tour 10.5 years. 375 of these strikes under president obama. >> jon: president obama is our country's all-time leader in outside battlefield sky killing or bsk for those of you -- he's like barry bombs. la laugh -- [laughter] of drone strikes, if will you. but there are limits to this practice. >> for the record, i do not believe it would be constitutional for the government to target and kill any united

my name is jon stewart. what a show for you tonight. my guest tonight journalist hooman majd but first for all the criticism russia endured about the olympics from the lack of snow to the shoty work manship, the combination of tap water you couldn't drink or wash your face in or look ate for very long. [ laughter ] human right as abuses, anti-gay legislation. my point is -- >> a colorful end to the winter games in sochi. the president of the ioc declairg them an extraordinary success. >> jon: extraordinary some people went count a hill and nobody blew up. so as russia saluted the end of games with the signature giant weeping bear and, of course, their ode to all the really great artists they had shot, impresident order exiled we're reminded that our own jason jones was in russia near these games. here now his final report. ♪ >> now that the pageantry of the sochi olympics is behind us i finally have time to reflect on my stay in russia. what it boils down to is russias are a lot like us. they go to bars like us. they enjoy museums lik

my name is jon stewart. good show for you tonight. tonight's guest from house of cards, house of cards kevin spacey will be joining us in a little bit for house of cards. that's right. remember the moment -- do you remember the moment it was about six months ago when you found out that george zimmerman was acquitted for the shooting murder of trayvon martin and you were drinking a glass of milk and did a spit-take but it wasn't like a funny spit-take it was just kind of a sad one. it was not like oh, my god it was just you couldn't swallow milk in a world where people can just shoot people in a fight that they themselves instigated. well, guess what? you probably shouldn't take a sip of milk right now. >> the verdict in the michael dunn case. the jury did not convict him for killing teenager jordan davis. >> jon: that may sound like your run of mill florida bat (bleep) in which the killer was not convicted for the killing. >> dunn says he and his fiancee pulled into a jacksonville gas station park next to a red dodge durango playing m

important to jon stewart or the president. they don't see them as vital because they don't pertain to social justice or global warming. so, if i ask about those issues i'm a dufus. a scandal monger. that's the spin now i'm going to speak very slowly so stuart and his crew can take some notes. number one, there are serious charges that the obama administration would not tell the truth about libya because of the upcoming presidential election. those charges have not been proven but they are in play. number two if the irs is abusing its power every american should be concerned there has been little done by the obama administration to uncover possible abuse of power finally the american people are being forced to accept obamacare right now despite billions of dollars spent it's still chaotic. i believe that might be an important issue. are you hearing me out there in left wing fantasy land? good grief. and that's the memo. one footnote we invited on the factor. we will send a car for him that is not subsidized by the government. n

my name is jon stewart. the program tonight will be exceptional. my guest tonight michio kaku. he is a theoretical quantum physicists post laying on the neurosciences. i will ask him to give me his lunch money. [ laughter ] let's begin in the ukraine. a barrier twixt between east and west, a thin borscht wall f you will show the russian influence, represented here by the crying bear, a classic icon of russian power and european influence represented by an (bleep). [ laughter ] who thinks his tiny coffee is somebody better than anybody else's coffee. if it was so great, why don't you drink more of it? [laughter] >> anyway my point is ukraine descended to chaos. >> the the problems began when president yanukovych favored the union. a country split in two until demonstrators finalry called for president yanukovych to step down. >> riot police and protesters clashed again in kiev's independence square. >> jon: first thing i'm going to do when i'm a dictator, i'm going get rid of all these (bleep) squares. [ laughter ] nothinging good happens -- nothing good happens for dictators in

news headquarters in new york, this is "the daily show" with jon stewart. ["daily show" theme song playing] [cheers and applause] >> jon: whoa. welcome to "the daily show". i'm jon stewart. i have a good one for you tonight. my guest tonight we have your ty burrell. ty burrell son the program best known for modern family but did you know he also plays a time traveling dog? guy has range. the big news the sochi climb bick games began this weekend with the pomp pageantry and nostalgia for dehumanizing industrialization ending with the russian champions running the 1,000 meter olympic torch lighting -- [laughter] and they are -- they are running to light the torch and then it just gets further and further and -- they are running to the -- [laughter] the height is going to go out. -- light is going to go out. a note to affiliates we'll go long on account of the running we'll check back in later. team usa one the first gold in the event of bustage when the american scored in the one meter door hole today create because he couldn't get out of poorly constructed b

my name is jon stewart. very, very good show tonight. our guest tonight joel kinneman of roab cop, the story of an -- robo cop, the story of an irish policeman. [laughter] robocop story of an irish robot. [ laughter ] but, of course, first. ♪ [laughter] you know the vaguely olympic sounding but yet still public domain means it is time for "the daily show" update