uh, lamont, lamont. grace and mabel-- y'all sit down right here and i'll pour you some champagne well, aren't we cute? young me, and old her. see, when we were young, you know, i was 34 and she was 44, it didn't seem like we'd end up this ugly a couple, did it? we'll have a little toast anyway right here. little drink for you, mabel, some for me, and for grace, right there, we'll all have a little sip. here you are, darling. now, to my son, and his lady friend and their future happiness. and to president mckinley! [glass breaking] well, that's it. that's it! i thought i had seen everything till tonight, but this takes the cake. come on, grace, let's get out of here. hey, hey, wait a minute, son! son, listen, son! fun? would you like to have a little fun, freddy? your father meant well. yeah, so did attila the hun. i mean, he spoiled our engagement party. engagement party? yeah. surprise. lamont, it's beautiful. but i can't accept this. i can't marry you. why not? as crude as your father was, int. the dif

this is lamont, lamont sanford. oh, hi, lamont. how are you? fine. how are you doing? uh, are you busy tonight no. what's up? because i need a little favor, and i was wondering if you could help me out. see, um... do you remember that improvisational acting class that we took together where you played the drunk? sure. yeah, well, i was wondering if you could give a little repeat performance tonight over at my house for a little party that my father's throwing. see, it's kind of like a surprise party, and i was wondering if you could wear the dress that you wore that night. uh-huh. and--and get here at about 8:15, and everything'll be perfect, ok? and when my father answers the door, him that your name is nora simpson and you're my computer date. you got that? nora simpson. nora simpson. ok. what time, again? about 8:15. uh-huh. ok, and everything'll be perfect. all right. ok. bye-bye. uh-huh. hey, lamont! lamont: i'll be right down, pop! that's good. she ain't got here yet. ok. "chateau newfie de papa." "ohio's best." [knock on door] all right. hi! i'm nora simpson! he

it's lamont. lamont. it's lamont. sanford. sanford. lamont sanford! lamont: yeah? did somebody-- pop? what are you doing here, pop? pop? yes. gerhard popwell. everybody calls me "pop" for short. listen, i got some money to spend if you'll sell me some things. well, lamont, take care of the gentleman. show him all of our haberdash. our what? haberdash. this is a haberdashery, isn't it? show him our haberdash. yeah, right. hey, pop, what are you doing here? d i am of you. for crying out loud. ah, yes. i'll take several of these, and i'd like a shirt. you got black on black? oh, you could order some, lamont. no. i wanted to wear it tonight. and please, don't butt in. the sweaters are right over here. thank you. say, couldn't you wait until i got home? yeah, but listen, son. i figured i'd make you look good if i come down here and bought $200 worth of stuff. where did you get $200 from? the bank. listen, do you have anything arments? uh, no, but can i interest you in a silk boxer? no. i got a doberman. hey, pop, what you take-- what you take the money out of the bank f

hey, lamont. come on in here, son. lamont: i'm not hungry. you don't have to eat. just come on in here. what's going on? your father will what's going on. i don't know what's going on, but i know what's going out. gladly. i've had stomach cramps here, baby. thank you, aunt esther. i don't know why i came to this heathen house. praise the lord! oh! would you mind telling me what's going on in here? well, i was talking to your aunt gorilla, this where you ought to be. i want you to move back home. well, if i do move back in here, pop, it's gonna be on my own terms, man. no more of this "my this and my that." it's gonna be "share and share alike." yeah. share and share alike. what do you want first, my arthritis or my heart condition? ok, pop, it's a deal. now when the group gets here tonight-- now wait a minute, now wait a minute, just a moment. now you didn't say nothing about no group. all right, the deal is off. ok, ok. you want them groupies, you can have the groupies, but i just won't be here. well, that's up to you, pop. i'm gonna go next-door and get my things

n-now, fred, you remember this is for lamont. oh, yeah. for lamont. uh-huh. well, i'll take her sundays and weekends. now, i won't tell you, fred, what's inside the box, but the clue is "fun every night." or you can wheel and deal for what's behind curtain number one. and that clue is "air." it's up to you, fred. air. air and curtain. curtain air. air and curtain. take the curtain! man: take the curtain! second man: take the box! curtain! take the box! [all talking at once] why don't you sit down? put your wig on. no, it's air balloon. balloon--breath! breath! bad breath! a year's supply of mouthwash! no, no. no, no, no, fred. you take the box. the box! you sure, grady? i'm positive, fred. it's the box. the box. i'll take the box. the box is yours. but before we show you what you've got in the box, let's see what you turned down behind curtain number one. a brand new convertible! y] you told me to take that box. look what was behind the curtain! a convertible! lamont would have liked that. i could see him now parked up there on mulholland drive with a pretty

lamont, i'll get to the point. you are the perfect candidate to run for the office of state assemblyman in this district. assemblyman? me? hey, man, i didn't even graduate from high school. oh, well, lamont, that doesn't matter. you're down to earth. you should run for deodorant. look, i... i appreciate all the nice flowery speeches you're making, mr. cambridge, but i'm just not interested. now, lamont, i beg you to reconsider. your state is calling you. no, man-- definitely not. oh, well, all right. i guess i'll just have to cancel your fundraising dinner. fundraising? your state is calling you. now, now, hurry up and answer before they hang up. uh, ahem. lamont, by the way, just in passing, an assemblyman does earn about 20,000 a year. my son, serving his country with honesty and youth, serving his voters with integrity and pride, and serving his father with a new truck and a color tv. [knock on door] hey, everybody. say, lamont, you mind signing these postcards? i promised the fellas down at the barber shop that

lamont sanford. senor lamont sanford. uh, that's right. thank you. hello, lamont? that you, sir? listen--listen, son. you having a lot of fun? you are, huh? well, come on home. yeah, i think it's the big one. yeah, son. yeah, i can--i can feel it. my--my heart ain't beating like it should. instead of going "bump, bump, bump," it's going "bumpity, thumpity, wumpity." no, i swear, son. listen. you have to believe me. listen to it. heart and listen. did you hear it, son? yeah. son, hurry up here. [knocking on door] rush. bye. esther: open this door, fred sanford. hold your horses. [knocking on door] i said hold your horses. what is-- hello, uncle fred. elizabeth. i'm named after aunt elizabeth. you know, she died the year before i was born. y-you're the spitting image of elizabeth. that's what my daddy says. [kiss] thanks so much for letting me stay here with you. you--you even smell like elizabeth. go get her bags and stop smelling her. ooh, what is that i smell smelling so good? oh, that's bean sauce for the spaghetti. uncle fred, we're having spaghetti for breakfast? no, honey. f

hi, lamont. oh, hi, audrey. mr. sanford, i'll be with you in a second. hey, son. you didn't tell me they serve cocktails in here. mr. sanford? the doctor's ready to see you now. i'm not ready to see him. come on, man. let's go. listen, son. listen, son. all of a sudden, i got this pain-- this empty feeling. well, mr. sanford, where is this empty feeling? in my wallet. ah... here you are, mr. sanford. well, the examination's all over, mr. sanford. that wasn't so bad, was it? no, not if you consider that i was mauled and pawed and plucked and stuck. heh. if you have, uh, any pain, yeah, well, if they boosted me any higher, i'd have to sit down on my lips. take a seat. i'll look over your records. yeah, i know you will. [groans] ooh... [grunts] well, mr. sanford, there are still some tests to come back, but barring anything unforeseen, i can give you a reasonably clean bill of health. uh, how much is my clean bill of health gonna cost me? the bill? oh, you mean my fee. well, as a favor to audrey, sh

not only did he receive-- lamont! lamont! lamont! , i think-- lamont! to err is human... and to keep talking may be fatal. yeah, but, see, i think-- lamont! lamont, will you please go in the kitchen and get my miracle drug that i keep in the aspirin bottle? what? in the kitchen, lamont! you goin' to jail, chump. now, i hope the delay in this check did not contribute in any way to your sickness. we all make mistakes. well, here's your miracle drug. oh, why, thank you. i got the money for the social security! are you all right, mr. wilson? he's gonna be fine. are you from the social security? yes. i'm mr. hastings. how do you do? my name is otis littlejohn, and-- don't say nothin'! dr. otis littlejohn. doctor, i'm certainly glad that you have arrived. you see, i've been having trouble with my lungs, and i'd like for you to check me out. open my mouth, and you can listen down my throat. [whispers] sounds good! his lungs sound real good! yippee! well, i guess i better be going now. i'm glad to see you're feeling better, mr. wilson. oh, hey, mr. haystack, i feel like a million

lamont: uh-oh. i have taken into consideration the testimony in this case and have reached a decision. it seems to me that you're a pretty conscientious young man. and taking into consideration the 2 hazards confronting you, you acted with reasonable judgment. i find you not guilty and order this case dismissed. hey! order. hey, son, i defended you real good, didn't i? and judge, if i hadn't spoke up for our rights like i did, you would have found him guilty, wouldn't you? wouldn't you judge, right? wrong. huh? because i've also come to a decision about you. who, me? yes, you. i have no choice but to find you in contempt of this court. judge, i don't have no contempt for this court! i did, but i don't now! you're fined the sum of $25. pay on your way out. 25 bucks! listen, brother, you gave-- and if you utter one more word, the fine will be increased by another $25! next case. [inaudible] that's some justice. you get a ticket and i wind up paying the fine. i'm gonna get me a "coming back from court"

oh, lamont, lamont. what's the matter, pop? i just hate to be a burden to you. hey, would you stop talking like that? yeah. "i don't need you, pop." i heard you with my own lips. ears. yeah, yeah. ears. hear with ears, talk with lips. i'm losing my mind. you're not losing your mind, pop. you just got a hangover. now, come on. yeah, and i want you to help me get rid of it. all right. here. i'm gonna tell you what i want you to do. listen. give me some tomato juice and a raw egg. right, pop. [groans] tomato juice and a raw egg. yeah. uttering indistinctly] ...sauce and some tabasco. ohhh, son. hey, where's my prune juice? your prune juice? yeah, get me some prune juice. oh, and salt and pepper. [groaning] and the prune juice... and tomato juice. ohhh. and, son, help me. help me over there so i can get to the vodka. the vodka? yeah. i just need a smidgen of vodka. know what i mean? just enough to wake up the flavor. a bloody mess. now, would you mind telling me what you heard that made you so upset? "i didn't need pop." "i didn't miss pop." i heard you, now. don't

hush, lamont. shut up, lamont. mr. wilson, would you run on out to the kitchen to see if anything's burning? well, if you want me to run, i'll run. i thought you said he was rough. i told you to leave him to me. if he's the only thing standing in our way, i can see it now. you can see what now? a charge plate that says, "mrs. lamont sanford." uh, maybe i better stay here after all. oh, no, sugar. you just go on out and enjoy your bowlin' night. bye. it's not gonna work, judy. that's what you think. everything is fine out in the kitchen. good. are we gonna have our smoked pork butt now? oh, in a minute. but first, we gonna sit down here i want you to get nice and comfortable. you comfy now? yeah, i'm comfy. i'm hungry, too. say--say, that was really nice of you to take off in the evening to spend with an old man. you wanna know something? i like older men. you do? mm-hmm. they're so much more refined and experienced and wise. they are? mm-hmm. they really are, daddy. can i call you daddy, grady? if--yeah, you can call m

oh, say, lamont, i want you to meet mr. clancy fitzgerald, the fight promoter. - hi. - how you doing? - mr. wilson, where is junior's sparring partner? i haven't got all day. - folks, you'll notice a celebrity has just joined us here in camp. one of the great names in the fight business. - oh, you don't have to introduce me, yerby. - i'm talking about a great fight promoter, now, you've all been watching the champ exercise and work out, and in a few minutes, we're gonna present some thrilling exhibition boxing. - oh, no, we're not. - oh, yes, we are. (audience applauding) - what do you think i'm dressed like this for? what do you think, i'm selling sherbet? - look, i, look, i can't let you go in there and fight junior. you'll get killed. - oh no, i won't. i'm going in there and take care of him. when i come back, i might give you two or three of these across your lips. - ok, open wide now. - pop, i can see right through your little scheme. see, you think you're gonna shame me into going in there and fighting junior, but it'

lamont, will you drive me over to pastor stackhouse's church? i'd love to, aunt esther, but i don't have the truck. does that mean you tellin' me you loaned the truck to somebody else? no, i didn't loan the truck to somebody else. and it got towed away. why you let the truck get towed away? because there was no place to park it in here. now, do you have $25 so i can go get the truck? do mice bark? i have some money at the house i can loan you. thanks a lot, aunt esther. i was saving to buy me a new spring outfit. esther, don't get no spring outfit. just get a mattress and cover your face with it. no, he makes me sick-- no, it's all right. aunt esther, no.. no, aunt esther. knock on the door. smitty. hoppy. fred: smitty. hey, fred. we heard you're having that big sale tomorrow and we thought we'd come by early and see if you had any bargains. yeah. yeah. we--we-- thought we'd kinda get the pick of the litter. you--you get it? junk. litter. now, that's funny, isn't it? you have to admit. well, uh, well, maybe it isn't. uh, now, what's on your mind

lamont? lamont, is that you? lamont! yeah, the truck's out there, he gotta be here somewhere. lamont? are you up there? lamont: yeah! well, you oughta say something when you come in. i could have taken you for a burglar what are you doing? lamont: i'll be right down! well, how come you-- what did you sneak in the house for? you got a girl up in your room with you? [laughing] what is that you got on? grady, this happens to be called a "gi," and it's what you wear when you study karate. oh. you look like you're going to open up a beauty shop. you look like a beautician. what are you wearing that for? because i'm gonna study karate. see, rollo and i are going back to the boondocks bar and grill, and if jojo jackson starts acting crazy, i'm gonna have to use karate on him. i told you i had a plan. you gonna need more than a plan. you gonna need some burial insurance. yeah, well just stay out of it, grady, all right? as a matter of fact, just leave me alone here, 'cause i'dike to loosen up before my karate lesson. oh. [knock on door] you see that? now there's the instructor now. fo

let's wake lamont up. well, why? because if he only got 6 months to live, it seems a shame to waste 'em sleeping. go ahead. you wake him up, no, no. he might get mad at me, so--so you wake him up. well, he's already mad at me, so you wake him up, and i'll be right here. ok. he looks so cute. [chuckling] i just can't resist. coochy coochy coo! grady, what are you doing? just leave me alone, all right? i got a headache. let me get some rest over here. oh--oh, i'm sorry. i'll go fix you a nice cup of hot tea, lamont. yeah, you do that. yeah, son, and i'll call the doctor. hey, pop, forget it, man. doctors don't make house calls. they will if it's an emergency. a headache is not an emergency. not an emergency? well, what else is it? if you got a headache, you can't go to work. if you can't go to work, you can't make no money. you can't make no money, i can't eat. you know, maybe if i eat something, i'll feel better. yeah. well, there's one piece of roast beef there in the kitchen. it's leftover from last night. [mumbling

lamont, go home. go home? would somebody tell me what's happening? bad news, lamont. some of our boys picked him up at the royal wilshire hotel about an hour ago in possession of some jewelry, allegedly the property of one francis albert sinatra, alias old blue eyes. hey, hoppy, you got to be kidding, man. there's got to be some mistake. no, son, it's true. i did it. would you tell me what's going on here, smitty? lamont, just relax and let me handle this. now, mr. sanford, when did you steal the alleged jewelry? it's allegedly steal the jewelry. oh, yeah, that's right. i missed that on the exam, too. cost me my straight-a at the academy. well, see, i stole it last night because i like to tiptoe through the twig light. and when you went to sleep, i tiptoed down to the hotel. smitty, what's he talking about? this ring, lamont. he says he stole it from frank sinatra. he didn't steal that ring from frank sinatra. he got that from behind the sofa at our house. listen, will you shut up? you ain't had nothin' to do with it. i stole it--me. not him. what's wrong with you? li

hey, roberto, say hello to lamont and se?or sanford. hey, roberto. hi, lamont. hello, se?or sanford. buenos tacos. ha ha ha ha. [speaking spanish] well, you see, mr. sanford-- he'll love this one. adios, brat-os. hey, julio? yeah. tell your sister carlotta that i'm glad that she's here, and my home is her home. wow. that's nice, man. carlotta, dice que aqu? en esta casa, t? puedes estar como si t? eres en tu propia casa. ah, s?. muchas gracias. thank you very much. [speaking spanish] oh, no. no, no, no, no. no, no, look, no. you don't have to do that. this. this--this lady's a guest in our house. get them papers over there, honey. [speaking inaudibly] hey, julio, tell your sister carlotta that she doesn't have to do any cleaning or cooking because my pop--see, he does all the housework. tell her that. julio: right. great. [speaking spanish] ah, s?. ay, pero eso no es trabajo del hombre. eso le toca la mujer. es el trabajo de las mujeres. hey, hey, hey, lamont. what'd she say? how would i know? who you think i am, ricardo montalban? my mama say to clean is the work of a wom

well, yeah, emma, now lamont and i can handle it. lamont will help me, won't you, lamont? i'm going down here-- thanks for helping me, lamont. we'll take care of it. well, i'll let you do that, but then you both clear out the kitchen so i can do the dishes and the cleaning and fix you a nice big supper. yeah, well, emma, you see, i'm in charge here, so i don't ever leave anyway. well, you'll just be in my way, so you just clear out after you finish the breakfast. no buts. get out. well, where you going now, emma? i'm going back to my bedroom until breakfast is ready! i want to be good and rested for my day's work. call me whent's ready. you wanna know what i think? i think your cousin emma is a gold brick. oh, no, don't say that. she's just got to get used to the place, that's all. she's not going to be here that long! to go out on the truck with me. oh, now i can't lift no heavy stuff, now. so don't expect too much. um-hmm, you and your cousin emma, y'all can't lift nothing, but you sure know how to throw it around. yeah, i feel sorry for her. that's what happens when the

lamont: got it. oh, hi, son. uh-- what you doin' walking around talkin' to yourself like a fool, fool? come here, son. huh? don't move now. don't move. just be calm. don't get excited, and don't move to your right. because i'm positive there's some fungus growing over there. watch it, sucker. i don't have to take no insults from you. you sure don't. just look in the mirror. pop, do you always have to attack aunt esther like this? here to ask you if you want me to cook dinner for you and your friends. but now i wouldn't do nothin' for you or any of your old, sinful friends. lamont, you always welcome to my house. but you, fred sanford, you old fish-eyed fool... don't you ever set foot in my house again. oh, glory! you old heathen. back to your cave, you old bat! listen, let me tell you something right now, pop. yes, all right then, son. ok. huh? yeah. anything you want me to do, i'll do because i want you to do anything i tell you to do. what's the matter with you, pop? well, see, it's like this, son. let me expla

with you, lamont. today is november 1, and it's extremely possible that november 6 is only 5 days away. excuse me, mr. wilson, i think what lamont meant was that the massive earthquake is unlikely to happen. oh, that's good! wow, thank you, lamont! you know, none of the american experts agree with the russian experts, either. what do they say? well, here's a newspaper. should be an article right here on the front page, reprinted courtesy of that fantastically respected publication, pravda. now, according to the 2 commie pinkos, the fault begins up here in the san fernando valley, cuts down the san diego freeway to the schlossen cut off, and it-- the schlossen cut off, do you know what that is? that's where you get out of your car and cut off your schlossen. here's johnny! here's knuckles! slices into watts, right past 9114 south central, turns eastward-- hold it, hold it, hold it. did you say 9114? this is 9114 south central! holy moly, i am standing on a potential earthquake! that is bad luck. you kno

say, lamont, when are your friends coming over here to play poker? now they'll be here any minute, and i want you to promise me something. now you can watch, but just, you know, don't interfere with nothing 'cause it takes a lot of concentration to play poker, pop. oh, i promise you, son--we'll be good. we'll be very good. the left. right. no, left. [knocking] oh, hey, julio. hey, lamont. [door shuts] hello there, mr. sanford. pop, say hello to julio. all right. then say hello to your ex-shirt. ha ha ha. that's funny, that's funny. say, julio, that shirt does look good on you. mr. sanford. it would even look better if you washed it. and then-- and starch it and iron it, and then fold it up real neat and shove it up your nose. [knocking] hey, rollo. what's going on, dude? what's happening? hey, everybody, say, you know arms crowder. what's happening? julio: how you doing, arms? what's happening, man? hey, pops, how's it going? oh, it's pretty good, rollo. uh, crime outside went down 50%. why? 'cause you inside. man. hey, rollo. how come you got here o

say, lamont, i don't think we should lie to your aunt like that. look, herman, nobody's asking you to lie. just don't volunteer any information that's not asked. come on, man. that ain't no way to do business. ok, look at it this way. would you tell anybody what your blood type was if they didn't ask you? of course not. all right, put your blood cell in the same category as your jail cell. can i count on you being there this afternoon? yes, ma'am, i'll be right down there. just let me get my stuff. fine. bye. you don't have to rush off now, do you? yeah, why? well, i just like having you hang around out here. it makes the junk look so pretty. grady wilson, i wouldn't lower myself to even answer that, because i've got too much class. will you come on downstairs? i didn't come here to rob nobody. grady: well, what'd you come back for? i got fired. you got fired? the first day on the job and you got fired? she caught you stealing again, right? no, pops, i wasn't stealing nothing. did you kill her? put your hands down, man. well, how'd she find out tha

and lamont, you know, keep them happy, man. oh, no! hey, lamont, man. hey, man, what are you doing here? i brought you dinner. you know how i hate to waste stuff that i cooked especially for you. yeah, well, why don't you take it home and put it in the freezer, all right? no, this is stew! this ain't ice cream. you eat it when it's hot, not when it's cold. and there's enough here for everybody. hello, rollo. how's my good friend rollo? and hello, ladies. uh, who's this? uh, this is fred sanford, lamont's father, of sanford and son. oh, what you got in the pot, pops? oh, it's just some stew that i fixed, and i was sitting at home alone and i thought i'd bring it over. y'all didn't eat yet, did you? uh, no, uh, all we had was peanuts and potato chips. oh, that ain't no good food. that's the kind of stuff you take to the zoo to feed the animals. look here, smell this. yeah. ooh, i just love onion stew! oh, and i'm hungry enough to eat that whole pot. that's good. it's a good feeling to know somebody's enjoying your cooking while you at home, all alone, lon

lamont, put my wine on ice for me. i'm gonna go get my honey bunny sugarplum, and i'll be right back. just wait here. [knock on door] now, there they are now. now, don't go spoiling it for grady, all right? i ain't gonna spoil nothing. you don't try to raise me. you my kid. i raised you. don't tell me what to do. grady. yeah. well, here i am with the girl of my dreams. now, get ready to meet my little dove. ok. now, close your eyes. and here she is. this is-- this is dolly simpson. my darling. est friend fred, and that's his loving son lamont. dolly: so very glad to meet you. oh, i see you do laundry. lamont: uh, uh, it's awfully nice meeting you, miss dolly. grady's told us so much about you. and pop and i wish you the best in your new marriage, don't we, pop? hmm? yeah, yeah, yeah. dolly: oh, thank you. thank you. fred's gonna be the best man at the wedding, hon. off. miss dolly, it was nice meeting you. and again, best wishes. oh, thank you. grady, why don't you and dolly sit over there on the couch? and i'll be rig

[lamont and julio laughing] that's nice, man. i said t?o, not chico, i'd like my newspaper now, if you don't mind. well, i do mind. getting your newspaper wasn't one of the promises i had to make. no, but watching what i wanted to watch on television was, and if you don't get my newspaper, i might not feel like watching roller derby tonight. roller derby? i'll get your newspaper for you. where's my newspaper? i'll get it for you as soon as i take care of something else. omises. i only asked you to be nice to julio. yeah, and you made me promise to be nice to chico, too. well, what's so hard about that? he's in the yard, and if i hadn't promised you that i'd be nice to him, i'd chase him out of here. why? what's he doing? why? you don't know? well, if you go out in the yard, i hope you don't have no shoes on. captioning made possible by sony pictures television ? good times ? ? anytime you need a payment ? ? good times ? ? anytime you need a friend ? ? good times ? ? anytime you're out from under ? ? not getting hassled, not getting hustled

can i come in, lamont? you already did. oh. thanks, lamont. [door shuts] grady: who is it, lamont? it's uncle woodrow. who? uncle woodrow. that's what i thought you said. say, grady, what are you doing? you father left me in charge, and he said if your uncle woodrow came around, you don't? no, no. that's not what's on my mind. i got troubles. trouble? yeah. well, what--well, come over here and sit down, take your hat off, and tell me about it, uncle woody. and--and hey, man, what you doing with a suitcase? you going somewhere? yeah, i'm going somewhere. you aunt esther kicked me out of the house. what did she do, catch you coming out of one of them massage parlors again? grady. now go ahead, uncle woody. tell me what happened, man. see, i was out all night drinking and celebrating, and when i got home this morning, esther had set out all my clothes out in this suitcase and would let me in. well, it looks like you're in the doghouse this time, uncle woody. what you plan on doing? i don't know yet. guess i'll just have to stay here a while. oh, no. nope, nope, nope. what do you mean

lamont: wait a minute. hold it. cut. cut. what are you doin'? well, i saw steve allen do this on tv, and he sold a lot of cars. maybe you should just tell it like it is, you know. i mean, straight and simple. ok, ok. ok, stand by. roll 'em! and action! hi, i'm fred. fly me to junk city. wait a minute! cut it. wait a second. man, wait. i don't know. i don't understand what's going on, man. would you stop fooling around? [all talking at once] now, back on out the way. give me some action. uh, as i was saying, my name is fred sanford, and i'm president of sanford and fuentes. [speaking spanish] wait a minute! cut! what's the matter? d he donno help from you! i'm not helping, man. i'm translating for our chicano viewers. go on, fred. you're doing great, man. get out the way. folks, this is our junkyard here-- a giant supermarket of junk. e got more junk than we know what to do with. [speaking spanish] if we lined all this stuff up end to end, it would reach from here to yugoslavia. [speaking spanish] you gotta see it, folks, to believe it. this is t

i r [inaudible] lamont: you really blew it this time, pop. what did you have to run out like that for? what do you expect me to do when that big guy comes toward me with them 2 needles? i couldn't think of but 2 things-- run and fast. well, you can just rest assured that that's the last time we're gonna see those people. oh, you'll see them again. see, they need this property, and i bet you we can still get $30,000 for this place. don't you understand, pop? we're not getting nothing, man. running out on those people like that was a supreme insult. i'll tell you what. just to show you i ain't got no hard feelings, well, maybe calling would help. yeah. see, calling is the next best thing to being there. [knock on door] see there? what did i tell you? 35,000. not 30,000. miss funai, how are you? i would like to apologize for my father's behavior-- oh, that's all right. we understand. yes. won't you please come in our humble home and partake of some sofa? thank you. great-grandfather has much he wants to say to you. exactly how much? [speaking ja

you hear that, lamont? yeah? so what? he won $200,000 as a 3 year old. and you 32, and you never seen $200,000. he--he pulled up lame in a stake race for 4 year olds and was retired. "g." what? "g!" i heard the "g." "g" what? "g" nothing. that's what it has here in the description. does it say what it means? no. i guess it means girl. let me see. girl? yeah. now, why would they name a horse-- a girl horse-- general lee? i don't know. maybe he was into wax. what does that mean? it means you were right. that horse was into wax? no, grady. it means that he's... what--what do you mean, fred? it means we're finished, and so is he. well, i don't understand. grady, the horse has been fixed. fixed? yeah. see, he's fixed. well, why not? because he had a horseterectomy. the...the poor horse. maybe he can adopt, fred. shut up. hey, pop. pop, how come you didn't know that? all i know is 4 things about horses: win, place, and show, and tearing up tickets. now neither one of those anytng to e kndo wit that the horse is not stolen. perkins probably picked that horse up

lamont, you always welcome to my house. but you, fred sanford, you old fish-eyed fool... don't you ever set foot in my house again. oh, glory! you old heathen. back to your cave, you old bat! listen, let me tell you something right now, pop. yes, all right then, son. ok. huh? yeah. anything you want me to do, i'll do because i want you to do anything i tell you to do. what's the matter with you, pop? well, see, it's like this, son. let me explain. like what? how's this sound? now, you've heard of the zanies. song, comedy and dance. lamont: right. well, bowlegs and i, we're song and comedy. and you are dance. pop, i-- popeye ain't got nothing to do with this. see, bowlegs is in trouble,

no, hey, look, lamont! lamont! hey, look. oh, thank goodness, you're still here. now, look, this lady was out drinking with your father one night, and she claims that he proposed to her. and now she's saying that i'm fred sanford. for pete's sakes, will you please tell her who i am? oh, sure, that's easy. he's the boss, fred sanford. i'll see you later, pop. no, no! hey, no! oh, fred! i'm gonna get you. hey, good morning, grady. say, good morning, grady. hey, you shouldn't do that. you scared me to death. hey, what happened last night after i left? 'cause when i got home, you was asleep. well, how come you didn't stay around and tell that lady who i was? you could have cleared everything up. no, i couldn't do that, grady. you kicked me out of my own house yeah, well, you sure left me in a bad spot. hey, how'd you get rid of her, anyway? well, when your father gets in trouble, he either has arthritis or a heart attack. and i had them both. plus, a severe case of abdominal cramps. you mean gas, don't you? hey, listen, you better stick around in case that lady comes

lamont and fred: ahh. were you shocked? oh, no, darlin'. nothin' could ever be wrong as long as i'm alive. everything gonna be all right. so, don't you worry about a thing. you--you just go on upstairs and unpack your suitcase. yes, put i don't want to put you out. you couldn't put me out. you mean all the world to me. now, go on upstairs and take the first bedroom to the left. i'll go get the bags. yeah. and you come on back down and take the first couch to the left. what are you talking about? i'm talkin' about a place for my sister she'll sleep in your bed, you'll sleep with me, and the couch goes to the man from glad. oh, oh, not to put you out. you two sleep in your own beds and we'll just cuddle up nice and tight right here on this couch. no, no, no. wait a minute. now, it's been all decided, now. look here. now, here's what it is. ok. now, this is all straight, ain't it? this is straight. now, lamont takes the couch. that's fine with me. sounds like a good plan. and--and you and rodney, frances, take my bed. whatever you say, brother

lamont, i'm ashamed of you. that old fool grady was right. such wickedness i've never seen in my life. aunt esther, all we was doing was having a little fun-- a little party. that's all, a party. a little party? with these two jezebels? yes, ma'am. you ought to be ashamed of yourself. out! out! everybody! wait a minute, aunt esther. we was just-- all of you should be in a vocational school learnin' a trade. soldiers, it's time to save the sinners! [all shouting at once] god will beat the devil! [all shouting at once] whoo! jesus! come save 'em, lord! save 'em from sin! grady wilson! grady wilson, you come down here right now! now, you get down here right now! oh, hi, lamont. hi. you still mad at me? never mind. oh, yeah, you are. i can tell. are you mad enough to do something nice for me again? mont: no. well, you know, i was only doing what i promised your father that i would do while he's away. yeah, you didn't promise my father that you'd go waving and pointing that rifle around at people. you know, that's dangerous, grady. somebody could'

lamonte fredrick: it was kinda tough, because we had never importan motivated. lamonte fredrick: they were a lot of inspiration and a lot of help because we heard a lot of stories of a lot of other a job, ya know, to make sure that we were getting our things done for the kids." and they did just that... we are happy to report this family just moved into their own place -- after a long struggle. frances riven: i thank them every and each day, without them and their help there wouldn't have been no fredrick family out here in their own spot, you know honestly i felt lamonte fredrick: coming here and seeing what people go through especially single women with kids you know there was times when she had to go to work and i was outside with the boys until 10 o'clock pm you know waiting until she got off work just to come back here frances says the blessings keep coming for their family. the mission staff put them in touch with people that have helped them get dishes and furniture for their new place. frances riven: i thank god every day ya know i am thankful for whatev

now, keith lamont scott's wife, she had, and her attorneys had said she believed that keith lamont scott was unarmed, that she wasn't aware he had any type of weapon. during this news conference, the district attorney said that text messages a month before the shooting included arguments about a gun between scott and her husband keith lamont scott. now, there was another witness. remember that story that initially, you know, really catapulted this to national attention is keith lamont scott was holding a book instead of a gun. several witnesses repeated that. it really caught fire on social media. and it really fueled the community anger. again, the district attorney said upon further investigation by those agents, by the state bureau of investigation, the witness who initially said that, that witness then told the agents she never actually saw the shooting. she was in her apartment. never witnessed that. it really speaks to how, you know, in this age of social media and this digital age where some sketchy information may come out at the very beginning of this investigation, it really, y

this is officer-involved shooting from back in september of keith lamont scott. the district attorney saying no charges. the officers acted lawfully. this is a case again, the nation was watching after this shooting took place and it also sparked days, at least two days of riots following this shooting. >> officer bradley sin vevincen d.a. said, acted lawfully. we want to bring in laura coates and cnn senior law enforcement analyst and former fbi assistant director tom fuentes. danny, let me start with you. this case, as in so many we have seen involving police shootings, seems to turn on whether the officer believed he was in imminent danger. >> it actually centers on two inquiries. first, what was the reason for approaching mr. scott in the first place and secondly, the decision to shoot. those are separate, distinct inquiries. critical here is the determination that once, if the police saw number one, marijuana, and they saw him exit the car with a firearm in his hand, remember, this is an open carry state which creates a thorny issue. how do you decide someon

from keith lamont scott during that incident. laid out in great detail the incident, but a few things he mentioned really bear talking about right now. he said that scott ignored repeated commands, at least ten commands, for him to drop the gun. scott was inside his car when he first drew the gun, and the officers at that time saw him draw the gun inside his car. commanded him to drop the gun. yelled that he had a gun. at that point, the d.a. sdays that keith lamont scott took a deep breath, exited the vehicle with his gun and started to back away from it. the key thing asserted, keith lamont set, assessed the officers, looked at the other officers, looked back at vinson and vinson felt he was in immediate threat of being shot by scott. here is the d.a.'s announcement what he concluded. >> after thorough review and given the totality of the circumstances and credibility evidence in this case, it is my opinion that officer vinson acted lawfully when he shot mr. scott. he acted lawfully. >> and, therefore, no criminal charges will

then they saw keith lamont scott. he was not the suspect they were looking for. he was inside the car and they say he had a gun and they saw him rolling a marijuana cigarette. they left to get backup to return to arrest scott because of that and they had put on these vests, these police vests, got out of their car and yelled at least ten times, according to the district attorney, to drop the weapon. now, the district attorney says that scott ignored those commands and that was key in determining that the officer acted lawfully in order when he used deadly force. of course, as you mentioned, tom, the family disagrees with that. they say, you know, that just because he had a weapon or even if he did have a weapon, that the officer shouldn't have used deadly force. they are still looking into pursue civil legal action in this case. >> gabe, stand by for me. let's talk more about that. we know that the scott family lawyers will have their own investigation in this but also as gabe is pointing out, the presence of a gun should not be reason enough for deadly force. ta

lamont: this way, smitty. it's right over here. and not as a policeman or in your official capacity. i'm just gonna come right out and be honest with you and tell you it's gone. what's gone? officer smith, i think we should be a bit more official about this inquiry. now, uh, what's gone? it was parsley. it was a wheelbarrow. huh? a wheelbarrow. parsley. it was a wheelbarrow full of parsley. wheelbarrow... full of parsley. well, i guess whoever it belonged to must've come and taken it away, so it was a false alarm. now, now, now, wait. why would anyone put parsley in a wheelbarrow? i guess they wanted to make deliveries. make... all right. now, did we establish that the wheelbarrow was full of parsley? no, partially. partially full or partially parsley? partially parsley. partially...parsley. possibly. parsley. probably. probably possibly partially parsley. now... what i'm try-- oh, smitty and hoppy. hey, rollo. hey, how you doin', grady? fine. why, just in time for dinner. i just got through, and i got plenty, so come on in and joi

and sharp contradiction to what the family was saying, what keith lamont scott's wife had said from the get-go. and also, what witnesses at the scene had initially told reporters and had told police. but as you mentioned, the district attorney today, just a few moments ago, announcing his conclusion that officer brentley vinson acted lawfully in his use of deadly force. and he also had a message for the community, urging calm. again, the charlotte police is on alert following this decision. officers there are working 12-hour shifts, just in case any violent demonstrations were to break out. but as you mentioned, andrea, this was an extremely controversial case. two nights of rioting followed the shooting. and several more days of peaceful protests, throughout the city of charlotte. but several main points that the district attorney refuted that initial information that had come out. one, he said that contrary to what the family attorney had said and what several witnesses at the scene had said, the district attorney said that keith lamont scott was armed. there was initially some questi

. >> prosecutors in north carolina said the officer who shot and killed keith lamont scott sparked protest and it was justified in that action. there he is. lots of reaction to this announcement. we will bring you the latest on that and much more. we begin with the top story. a win for workers according to donald trump. he said he struck a deal with carrier, the indiana-based air conditioning company that he hammered for the decision to move thousands of jobs to mexico. for days, trump and vice president-elect mike pence remember is also still the governor. they have been pressuring carrier to keep the jobs in the state and trying to strike a deal to do that. carrier confirmed that it will be not be moving 1,000 jobs to mexico after all. trump is headed out to indiana for what he is billing as a major announcement about this deal tomorrow. obviously this is news that will come as a great relief to those workers. it's a major public relations win for the president-elect, but there are questions about what exactly trump has agreed to here. what he agreed to give carrier in order to get it to

>> we have, brooke, the district attorney said he met with keith lamont scott's family before this news conference and said they were very gracious toward him. the family is, of course, disappointed but they are calling for calm and they say they are moving forward with their own pursuit of justice in this case. here is what one of the attorneys for the scott family justin bamberg had to say a short time ago. >> i think it was safe to say that, yes, he did have a gun on his person during the course of this. it's a matter of where the firearm was and at the end of the day whether he had a firearm in haze hand or not, that's not the key question in terms of determining whether or not keith scott should have lost his life it's whether or not that officer should have pulled the trigger and extinguished his life. >> i asked district attorney andrew murray if their evidence ever showed keith lamont scott raised his hand, raised his gun toward officer brentley vinson and the d.a. said as far as all the evidence they have is concerned that they have seen he did not raise his hand but the d.a. s

if at any point keith lamont scott raised his gun and pointed it at the officers. he said as far as the evidence he's seen, he did not do that. but the d.a. repeatedly said that the officers felt they were under immediate threat and that he did have a gun on him. today, an attorney for the scott family, justin bamberg, did admit that scott had a weapon on him, but he said the killing was not justified. here's what mr. bamberg had to say. >> it was safe to say that yes, he did have a gun on his person during the course of this. it's a matter of where that firearm was. at the end of the day, whether he had a firearm in his hand or not, that's not the key question in terms of determining whether or not this guy should have lost his life. it's whether or not that officer should have pulled the trigger, and extinguished his life based on everything that occurred. >> reporter: the scott family says they are still going to pursue justice for keith lamont scott. it's unclear whether they're going to file a civil lawsuit tonight. i was told by a police official here that of

come tonight, no charges r a charlotte police officer who fatally shot a black >> the family ofeith lamont scot decision. >> a golden getaway.e robbery o with gold. the search for the suspect. new at5:a facing criminal charges for using debt funds touy women's did you know slow internet can actually hold your business back? that's 10 times faster mcast busine offers blazing fast a reliable internet than slow inteet from the phone compan say hello to internet speeds up to 150 mbps. and add phone and tv for only $34.90 more a month. . >> prosecutors in north carolina have decided not to charge the police off a they say it's not the decision they wanted but they appreciate the show of support. >> the officer involved shooting deh ofth lamont ott was caught on his wife's cell phone. >> don't shoot him. he didn't do anything. don't --he gu >> and it ignited protests in the city of charlotte. >> the d.a. announciny the officer accused o shooting scott will not face inal charges. when confronted by poli, exit the vehicle with comply with officers who to commandedimt let times to butt the gunown.

to the claims by some the white officers on the scene shot keith lamont scott, the d.a. said, every piece of evidence they have show that is not the case. only for shots fired at keith scott and all four came from officer vinson's gun. i asked the d.a., did keith scott ever raise his gun towards the officer? the d.a. said from every indication from the officers on the scene he did not actually raise his hand. none the less, officer vinson felt he was in imminent danger and said he has to fire the shots. >> a really good question, brian. giving clarity to what the district attorney was thinking and then laura coates, we then heard the d.a. talk about reaction time. that actually for scott to have lifted, if he were to, lifted his hand and point the weapon at the officer, that research shows that at best it could be a tie. so that he was trying to make the point the officer was very much at risk. i know that you see issue with that. >> well, that is an issue. not because it undermines the d.a.'s ultimate conclusion, but all this has done in realtime when an officer has a t

joining us from london, lord lamont. a trump election give theresa may and upper hand in negotiating trade with the eu? in athink it will help psychological sense because donald trump is sympathetic to brexit and the eu will be very worried about the relationship with the united states. in a general psychological sense, it will be a boost. there are obvious differences of the the approach brexit government and donald trump in that brexit actually is about pretrade. opening up opportunities worldwide. on the whole, i think the psychological effect is one that will worry the europeans quite a lot. odd, the letter that the president of the council sent to the american president. i think they are nervous. francine: because they are, would it not be going a step further. if you have a president-elect casting doubts on the u.s. commitment to nato, given the strength of the british military, even the intelligence of the british military, does it not mean that the eu will have to be a lot more friendly with theresa may? guest: i

prosecutors have decided not to charge an officer for the killing of keith lamont scott in charlotte, north carolina in september. authorities maintain scott, whose wife recorded the confrontation, had a gun on him. nbc's gabe gutierrez has the latest. >> don't shoot him. don't shoot him. >> more than two months after this dramatic video stunned the nation, today the announced that brent vincent, the charlotte police officer who shot and killed keith lamont scott, will face no criminal charges. >> it's my opinion that officer vincent acted lawfully when he shot mr. scott. >> the shooting sparked nights of violent unrest here. social media catapulted the story into the national spotlight, based on false information, the prosecutor says. according to state investigators, initial witness accounts that scott was holding a book proved to be owned a weapon, also false according to investigators, based on text messages the month before about a firearm in his possession. and they say witness claims that it was a white officer who shot scott are also untrue. police say they were trying to serv

prosecutors have decided not to charge an officer for the killing of keith lamont scott in charlotte, north carolina in september. authorities maintain scott, whose wife recorded the confrontation, had a gun on him. nbc's gabe gutierrez has the latest. >> don't shoot him. don't shoot him. >> more than two months after this dramatic video stunned the nation, today the district attorney announced that b police officer who shot and killed keith lamont scott, will face no criminal charges. >> it's my opinion that officer vincent acted lawfully when he shot mr. scott. >> the shooting sparked nights of violent unrest here. social media catapulted the story into the national spotlight, based on false information, the prosecutor says. according to state investigators, initial witness accounts that scott was holding a book proved to be false. his wife's statement false according to investigators, based on text messages the month before about a firearm in his possession. and they say witness claims that it was a white officer who shot scott are also untrue. police say they were trying to serve

new this afternoon, the north carolina police officer who shot and killed keith lamont scott in september will not be charged. that's according to prosecutors. they say he acted lawfully. my colleague kristen welker joins me now. you were on the trump transition call today. how did he characterize it for you? >> i asked about the fact that president-elect trump is getting criticism because he talked about draining the swamp and steve mnuchin is his nominee for treasury secretary and wilbur ross. steve mnuchin is a wall street guy, former goldman sachs and wilbur ross known as the king for bankruptcy for all of the restructuring that he has done with businesses. so i said, is this really draining the swamp? what would you say to critics that it's not? the push back the transition team says, look, these are winners. they understand the tax code better than anyone else. they now how the economy works and these are the best people to make sure tax reform is done in a way that it helps working class americans and really generates the economy, gets it going and it comes as there is renewed focu