[ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] let's get to the n2y??ews. the chicago cubs won the world series last night against the cleveland indians. it's so great, because if the cubs can win the worlds, serie that means anything is possible. oh, [ bleep ]. [ laughter and applause ] [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] following the chicago cubs victory in game 7 of the world hillary clinton tweeted a message of support saying, quote, "way to make history, cubs." while donald trump tweeted, "polls show i won world series. crcubsooked elong in jail."?g; [ lauger ae ] so the indians lt last night. while otritiilnd ouifhey lostn tuesda?? account,hat haveeen dormant r er a year, suddenlveral tweet donald trump.?- ?n'russia.(?2??tiwe [ ughterndpplae ] will repoedly large celebration, because he is fo??teader,av duke,?i and finally, a cafe in switzerland that was supposed to offer men oral sex along with their coffee, is considering replacing sex workers with high-end

[ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] fantastic to hear. let's get to the news. the chicago cubs won the world series last night against the cleveland indians. it's so great, because if the cubs can win the world series, oh, [ bleep ]. [ laughter and applause ] [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] following the chicago cubs victory in game 7 of the world series last night, hillary clinton tweeted a message of support saying, quote, "way to make history, cubs." while donald trump tweeted, "polls show i won world series. crooked cubs belong in jail." [ laughter and applause ] so the indians lost last night. while other minorities will find out if they lost on tuesday. [ laughter and applause ] authorities are investigating why an official fbi twitter account, that have been dormant for over a year, suddenly posted several tweets praising donald trump. oh, you don't know why? well, take your time. donald trump will reportedly hold a small gathering on election

[ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] fantastic to hear. let's get to the news. the chicago cubs won the world series last night against the cleveland indians. it's so great, because if the cubs can win the world series, oh, [ bleep ]. [ laughter and applause ] [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] following the chicago cubs victory in game 7 of the world series last night, hillary clinton tweeted a message of support saying, quote, "way to make history, cubs." while donald trump tweeted, "polls show i won world series. crooked cubs belong in jail." [ laughter and applause ] so the indians lost last night. while other minorities will find out if they lost on tuesday. [ laughter and applause ] authorities are investigating why an official fbi twitter account, that have been dormant for over a year, suddenly posted several tweets praising donald trump. oh, you don't know why? well, take your time. [ laughter and applause ] donald trump will reportedly hold a sm

[ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] fantastic to hear. let's get to the news. the chicago cubs won the world series last night against the cleveland indians. it's so great, because if the oh, [ bleep ]. [ laughter and applause ] [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] following the chicago cubs victory in game 7 of the world series last night, hillary clinton tweeted a message of support saying, quote, "way to make history, cubs." while donald trump tweeted, "polls show i won world series. crooked cubs belong in jail." [ laughter and applause ] so the indians lost last night. while other minorities will find out if they lost on tuesday. [ laughter and applause ] authorities are investigating why an official fbi twitter account, that have been dormant for over a year, suddenly posted several tweets praising donald trump. oh, you don't know why? [ laughter and applause ] donald trump will reportedly hold a small gathering on election night instead of a large ce

[ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] fantastic to hear. let's get to the news. the chicago cubs won the world series last night against the cleveland indians. it's so great, because if the cubs can win the world series, that means anything is possible. [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] following the chicago cubs victory in game 7 of the world series last night, hillary clinton tweeted a message of support saying, quote, "way to make history, cubs." while donald trump tweeted, "polls show i won world series. crooked cubs belong in jail." [ laughter and applause ] so the indians lost last night. while other minorities will find out if they lost on tuesday. [ laughter and applause ] authorities are investigating why an official fbi twitter account, that have been dormant for over a year, suddenly posted several tweets praising donald trump. oh, you don't know why? well, take your time. i won't russia. donald trump will reportedly hold a small gathering on e

[ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] fantastic to hear. let's get to the news. the chicago cubs won the world series last night against the cleveland indians. it's so great, because if the that means anything is possible. oh, [ bleep ]. [ laughter and applause ] [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] following the chicago cubs victory in game 7 of the world series last night, hillary clinton tweeted a message of support saying, quote, "way to make history, cubs." while donald trump tweeted, "polls show i won world series. crooked cubs belong in jail." [ laughter and appla so the indians lost last night. while other minorities will find out if they lost on tuesday. [ laughter and applause ] authorities are investigating why an official fbi twitter account, that have been dormant for over a year, suddenly posted several tweets praising donald trump. i won't russia. [ laughter and applause ] donald trump will reportedly hold a small gathering on election night i

meyers. >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] fantastic to hear. let's get to the news. the chicago cubs won the world series last night against the cleveland indians. it's so great, because if the cubs can win the world series, that means anything is possible. oh, [ bleep ]. [ laughter and applause ] [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] following the chicago cubs victory in game 7 of the world series last night, hillary clinton tweeted a message of support saying, quote, "way to make history, cubs." while donald trump tweeted, "polls show i won world series. crooked cubs belong in jail." [ laughter and applause ] so the indians lost last night. while other minorities will find out if they lost on tuesday. [ laughter and applause ] authorities are investigating why an official fbi twitter account, that have been dormant for over a year, suddenly posted several tweets praising donald trump. oh, you don't know why? well, take your time. i won't russia

meyers. >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] fantastic to hear. let's get to the news. the chicago cubs won the world series last night against the cleveland indians. it's so great, because if the cubs can win the world series, oh, [ bleep ]. [ laughter and applause ] [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] following the chicago cubs victory in game 7 of the world series last night, hillary clinton tweeted a message of support saying, quote, "way to make history, cubs." while donald trump tweeted, "polls show i won world series. crooked cubs belong in jail." [ laughter and applause ] so the indians lost last night. while other minorities will find out if they lost on tuesday. [ laughter and applause ] authorities are investigating why an official fbi twitter account, that have been dormant for over a year, suddenly posted several tweets praising donald trump. oh, you don't know why? well, take your time. donald trump will reportedly hold a small gathe

television's seth meyers. yeah, i'm gonna need to take derrick out of school for a couple of days on account of i just got stung by a bunch of jelly fish. and uh, it stings pretty bad. and i need derrick to pee on me until it feels better. [ laughter ] i just got to have that pee-pee. so, thanks for understanding. uh, i love you, bye-bye. >> seth: well obviously i did not get stung by a bunch of jelly fish. >> oh, so you just want to get peed on for no reason? >> seth: no. [ light laughter ] no i -- >> i -- i -- can explain. >> seth: thank you, derrick. >> so some people find that the only way they can reach sexual climax is by getting urinated on. >> seth: no, no, derrick. [ laughter ] derrick, what's the matter with you? this isn't the kid -- [ laughter ] this isn't the kid i know, buddy. it isn't. the kid i know had a good heart. remember when we went to the susset county pumpkin' chunkin'? you gave your binoculars to that little kid so they could watch em' shoot the pumpkin out of the cannon. you remember

[ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] let's get to the news. the chicago cubs won the world series last night against the cleveland indians. it's so great, because if the cubs can win the world series, that means anything is possible. oh, [ bleep ]. [ laughter and applause ] [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] following the chicago cubs hillary clinton tweeted a message of support saying, quote, "way to make history, cubs." while donald trump tweeted, "polls show i won world series. crooked cubs belong in jail." [ laughter and applause ] so the indians lost last night. while other minorities will find out if they lost on tuesday. why an official fbi twitter account, that have been dormant for over a year, suddenly posted several tweets praising donald trump. oh, you don't know why? well, take your time. i won't russia. [ laughter and applause ] donald trump will reportedly hold a small gathering on election night instead of a large celebration, because he i

[ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] fantastic to hear. let's get to the news. the chicago cubs won the world series last night against the cleveland indians. it's so great, because if the cubs can win the world series, that means anything is possible. [ laughter and applause ] [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] following the chicago cubs victory in game 7 of the world series last night, hillary clinton tweeted a message of support saying, quote, "way to make history, cubs." while donald trump tweeted, "polls show i won world series. crooked cubs belong in jail." [ laughter and applause ] so the indians lost last night. while other minorities will find out if they lost on tuesday. [ laughter and applause ] authorities are investigating why an official fbi twitter account, that have been dormant for over a year, suddenly posted several tweets praising donald trump. oh, you don't know why? well, take your time. [ laughter and applause ] donald trump will re

[ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] fantastic to hear. let's get to the news. the chicago cubs won the world series last night against the cleveland indians. that means anything is possible. oh, [ bleep ]. [ laughter and applause ] [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] following the chicago cubs victory in game 7 of the world series last night, hillary clinton tweeted a message of support saying, quote, "way to make history, cubs." while donald trump tweeted, "polls show i won world series. crooked cubs belong in jail." [ laughter and applause ] so the indians lost last night. while other minorities will find out if they lost on tuesday. [ laughter and applause ] authorities are investigating why an official fbi twitter account, that have been dormant for over a year, suddenly posted several tweets praising well, take your time. i won't russia. [ laughter and applause ] donald trump will reportedly hold a small gathering on election night instead of a large

meyers. >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] fantastic to hear. let's get to the news. the chicago cubs won the world series last night against the cleveland indians. it's so great, because if the cubs can win the world series, that means anything is possible. [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] following the chicago cubs victory in game 7 of the world series last night, hillary clinton tweeted a message of support saying, quote, "way to make history, cubs." while donald trump tweeted, "polls show i won world series. crooked cubs belong in jail." [ laughter and applause ] so the indians lost last night. while other minorities will find out if they lost on tuesday. [ laughter and applause ] authorities are investigating why an official fbi twitter account, that have been dormant for over a year, suddenly posted several tweets praising donald trump. oh, you don't know why? well, take your time. [ laughter and applause ] donald trump will reportedly

television's seth meyers. yeah, i'm gonna need to take derrick out of school for a couple of days on account of i just got stung by a bunch of jelly fish. and uh, it stings pretty bad. and i need derrick to pee on me until it feels better. [ laughter ] i just got to have that pee-pee. so, thanks for understanding. uh, i love you, bye-bye. >> seth: well obviously i did jelly fish. >> oh, so you just want to get peed on for no reason? >> seth: no. [ light laughter ] no i -- >> i -- i -- can explain. >> seth: thank you, derrick. >> so some people find that the only way they can reach sexual climax is by getting urinated on. >> seth: no, no, derrick. [ laughter ] derrick, what's the matter with you? this isn't the kid -- [ laughter ] it isn't. the kid i know had a good heart. remember when we went to the susset county pumpkin' chunkin'? you gave your binoculars to that little kid so they could watch em' shoot the pumpkin out of the cannon. you remember that? what happened to that kid i knew? >> well, the truth is,

television's seth meyers. yeah, i'm gonna need to take derrick out of school for a couple of days on account of i just got stung by a bunch of jelly fish. and uh, it stings pretty bad. i until it feels better. [ laughter ] i just got to have that pee-pee. so, thanks for understanding. uh, i love you, bye-bye. >> seth: well obviously i did not get stung by a bunch of jelly fish. >> oh, so you just want to get peed on for no reason? >> seth: no. [ light laughter ] no i -- >> i -- i -- can explain. >> seth: thank you, derrick. >> so some people find that the only way they can reach sexual climax is by getting urinated on. derrick, what's the matter with you? this isn't the kid -- [ laughter ] this isn't the kid i know, buddy. it isn't. the kid i know had a good heart. remember when we went to the susset county pumpkin' chunkin'? you gave your binoculars to that little kid so they could watch em' shoot the pumpkin out of the cannon. you remember that? what happened to that kid i knew? >> well, the truth is, i know

television's seth meyers. yeah, i'm gonna need to take derrick out of school for a couple of days on account of i just got stung by a bunch of jelly fish. and uh, it stings pretty bad. and i need derrick to pee on me until it feels better. [ laughter ] i just got to have that pee-pee. so, thanks for understanding. uh, i love you, bye-bye. >> seth: well obviously i did not get stung by a bunch of jelly fish. >> oh, so you just want to get peed on for no reason? >> seth: no. [ light laughter ] no i -- >> i -- i -- can explain. >> seth: thank you, derrick. >> so some people find that the only way they can reach sexual climax is by getting urinated on. derrick, what's the matter with you? this isn't the kid -- [ laughter ] this isn't the kid i know, buddy. it isn't. the kid i know had a good heart. remember when we went to the susset county pumpkin' chunkin'? you gave your binoculars to that little kid so they could watch em' shoot the pumpkin out of the cannon. you remember that? knew? >> well, the truth is, i kn

, i'm seth meyers, this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight?

[ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ]

[ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening, everybody. how are we doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] well that was a real grab in the [ bleep ] [ laughter ] and i'm sorry to use foul language like that but last i checked the electoral college you know, we have been talking about donald trump on this show for 18 months and one of the things i've tried to make clear over those 18 months is how i have been wrong about him at every turn. when he first came down the escalator at trump tower and announced i boldly said on this show he was a stunt and he would never really run. i then said he would never win the gop nomination and i certainly didn't think he would be our next president but the good news is based on this pattern of me being wrong on predictions he's probably going to be a great [ bleep ] president. [ laughter and applause ] let's just hope the trajectory holds. anyways i think i was not alone in watching the election last night. my wife and i went to watch the election returns at a friend's house and before we left we put our

[ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that is good to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. the rockefeller center christmas tree arrived over the weekend, but not before making a brief stop outside trump tower.

ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that is good to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. the rockefeller center christmas tree arrived over the weekend, but not before making a brief stop outside trump tower. [ laughter ]

[ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening, everybody. how are we doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] well that was a real grain the [ bleep ] [ laughter ] and i'm sorry to use foul language like that but last i checked the elecral college [ laughter ] you know, we have been talking about donald trump on th show for 18 months and one of the things i've tried to make clear over those 18 months iw i have been wrong about him at every turn. when he first came down the ancalator at trump tower and unced i boldly said on this show he was a stunt and he would never really run. i then said he would never win the gop nomination and i certainly didn't think he would be our next president but the good news ised on is patterof me beinon every one of my donald trump predictions he's probably going to be a great [ eep ] esiden [ laughter and applause ] let's just hope the trajectory holds. anyways i think i was not alone in watching the election last night. my wife and i went to watch the election retns at a friend's house and before we left we put

> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that is good to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. the rockefeller center christmas tree arrived over the weekend, but not before making a brief stop outside trump tower.

[ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening, everybody. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? how we doing out there? [ cheers and applause ] that is great to hear. donald trump settled the fraud lawsuit against trump university over the weekend for $25 million. well technically he settled it for $24 million plus two tickets to "hamilton." [ light laughter ] vice president-elect mike pence was booed by the audience of the hit broadway show, "hamilton," this weekend. but that's nothing compared to what happened when he tried to see "cats." [ laughter ] after the cast of broadway's "hamilton" addressed vice president-elect mike pence, following a show this weekend, donald trump demanded they apologize and tweeted, "the theater must always be a safe and special place." to which muslims replied, "two tickets to the theater, please!" [ laughter ] [ applause ] go to the theater, you'll be fine. one of donald trump's potential picks for homeland security chief may have accidentally after he held a bulleted list of

[ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] fantastic to hear. let's get to the news. the chicago cubs won the world series last night against the cleveland indians. it's so great, because if the cubs can win the world series, that means anything is possible.

meyers. >> seth: good evening, everybody. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? how we doing out there? [ cheers and applause ] that is great to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. donald trump settled the fraud lawsuit against trump university over the weekend for $25 million. well technically he settled it for $24 million plus two tickets to "hamilton." vice president-elect mike pence was booed by the audience of the hit broadway show, "hamilton," this weekend. but that's nothing compared to what happened when he tried to see "cats." [ laughter ] after the cast of broadway's "hamilton" addressed vice president-elect mike pence, following a show this weekend, donald trump demanded they apologize and tweeted, "the theater must always be a safe and special place." to whi m [ laughter ] [ applause ] go to the theater, you'll be fine. one of donald trump's potential picks for homeland security chief may have accidentally revealed sensitive information, after he held a bulleted list of nati

meyers. >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] fantastic to hear. let's get to the news. the chicago cubs won the world series last night against the cleveland indians. it's so great, because if the cubs can win the world series,

meyers. >> seth: good evening, everybody. how are we doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] well that was a real grab in the [ bleep ] [ laughter ] and i'm sorry to use foul language like that but last i checked the electoral college seems to be fine with it. [ laughter ] you know, we have been talking about donald trump on this show for 18 months and one of the things i've tried to make clear over those 18 months is how i have been wrong about him at every turn. when he first came down the escalator at trump tower and announced i boldly said on this show he was a stunt and he would never really run. i then said he would never win the gop nomination and i certainly didn't think he would be our next president but the good news is based on this pattern of me being wrong on every one of my donald trump predictions he's probably going to be a great [ bleep ] president. [ laughter and applause ] let's just hope the trajectory holds. anyways i think i was not alone in watching the election last night. my wife and i went to watch th

[ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] fantastic to hear. let's get to the news. the chicago cubs won the world series last night against the cleveland indians. it's so great, because if the cubs can win the world series,

[ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] fantastic to hear. let's get to the news. the chicago cubs won the world series last night against the cleveland indians. it's so great, because if the cubs can win the world series, that means anything is possible. [ laughter and applause ] [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] following the chicago cubs victory in game 7 of the world series last night, hillary clinton tweeted a message of support saying, quote, "way to make history, cubs." while donald trump tweeted, "polls show i won world series. crooked cubs belong in jail." [ laughter and applause ] so the indians lost last night. while other minorities will find out if they lost on tuesday. [ laughter and applause ] authorities are investigating why an official fbi twitter account, that have been dormant for over a year, suddenly posted several tweets praising donald trump. oh, you don't know why? well, take your time. i won't russia.

[ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] fantastic to hear. let's get to the news. the chicago cubs won the world series last night against the cleveland indians. it's so great, because if the

[ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] so wonderful to hear. in that case let's get to the

, i'm seth meyers, this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? well, that is wonderful to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. president obama and donald trump met at the white house today. where they discussed foreign and domestic policy. you know, things like which one is which.

, i'm seth meyers, this is "late night."

[ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] good to hear. very good to hear. in that case let's get to the news. hillary clinton made her first appearance since the election "there had been a few times this past week when all i wanted to do is just to curl up with a good book or our dogs and never leave the house again." oh, sure, now you're relatable. [ laughter ] a&e has announced that they're canceling the controversial show "duck dynasty." on the bright side, we're getting at least four whole seasons of "dick dynasty." [ laughter ] vice president-elect mike pence was seen today was seen using a selfie stick while posing with a group of house republicans. of course, right after using the selfie stick pence had to go to confession. [ laughter and applause ] the "harry potter" spinoff "fantastic beasts and where to find them" came out today. spoiler alert. they're in a gold tower. [ laughter and applause ] donald trump's transition t

, i'm seth meyers, this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? well, that is wonderful to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. president obama and donald trump met at the white house today. where they discussed foreign and

[ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] so wonderful to hear. in that case let's get to the news. today was halloween and right on cue, hillary's private e-mail server came back from the dead.

, i'm seth meyers, this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? news. president obama and donald trump met at the white house today. where they discussed foreign and domestic policy. you know, things like which one is which. [ laughter ] that's right, donald trump visited president obama in the white house today which got trump really excited to do his favorite thing, evict a black family from their home. [ laughter and applause ] during today's white house meeting, donald trump said he looks forward to seeking obama's counsel in the future to which obama replied, "yeah, sure, my number is 555 --" [ laughter ] and that's it. newt gingrich said in an interview yesterday that would but first, before starting his new job, though, he must finish up his contract at the keebler tree. [ laughter and applause ] bernie sanders told reporters yesterday that he is prepared to work with donald trump. but then he warned trump, "i keep the office hot and i don't clean up my pistachios." [ light laughter ] [ scattered applause ] a