seth meyers, "late night with seth meyers." secretary spicer, lately it feels like every day there is a new scandal in the white house to deal with. how long did last week seem to you? >> frankly, well over a year. [ light laughter ] >> seth: and how long do you think it will be until mike pence becomes the president? >> i think we've got an hour or two before he's actually sworn in. [ laughter ] [ scattered applause ] >> seth: an hour or two? what's been the biggest challenge so far for president trump? >> coping with the effects of traumatic brain injury and head trauma. [ laughter ] >> seth: your job seems pretty stressful. what do you do to keep yourself from taking up smoking? >> use the patches that are available to ensure that it doesn't happen. [ light laughter ] >> seth: what do you call when it a really tall man sits down in front of you at the movie theater? >> a historic show of obstructionism. [ light laughter ] >> seth: what is the republican party doing to ensure that trump >> we are calling on all of those folks

. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers, this is "late night," how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that's good to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. during a meeting with the president of panama today, president trump said, "we did a good job building the panama canal." despite the ct ago. mr. president, if you're going to keep saying stuff this dumb in front of other world leaders, could you at least wear a big bandage on your head? [ light laughter ] you know, so it seems like there's a reason. [ cheers and applause ] "oh, your president has suffered an injury, that explains it. we'll come back later." former fbi director james comey was reportedly seen dancing this weekend at a wedding in washington, d.c. got to say, i'm impressed. if i had read that many of anthony weiner's e-mails, i don't think i'd ever dance again. [ light laughter ] people are reportedly sending hate mail to the wrong shakespeare companies across the country, blaming them for the new york public theater's controversial pro

meyers. >> seth: good evening everybody, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] great to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. president trump today called the appointment of a special council to investigate his campaign's ties to russia, the single greatest witch hunt of a politician in american history. though it didn't help his case much when he flew away on a [ laughter ] during a press conference this afternoon, president trump said that his administration is getting things done at a record-setting pace. for example, most presidents take four years to finish a term and it looks like trump's gonna get it done in like eight months. [ cheers and applause ] so -- [ laughter ] you're out! the justice department yesterday appointed former fbi director robert mueller as special council to oversee the investigation into trump and russia. "i'm gonna get to the bottom of this." said donald trump to a pint of haagen dazs. [ laughter ] everybody, calling me a liar. i'm not a liar. they're

>> seth: wow! >> easy, right. >> seth: and so what would -- when you order this, what would this be called at a restaurant? >> at the tetsu? >> seth: yeah. >> tuna guacamole butsu. >> seth: all right. >> easy, right? >> seth: yeah, very easy. >> no. >> seth: tuna guacamole butsu. >> yeah. and then, not too expensive. >> seth: no? okay, good. [ laughter ] all right. what do we eat it with? chopsticks? fork? >> yes. >> seth: great. [ light laughter ] okay. very, very excited to try this. >> yep. >> seth: very good. >> it's good right? >> seth: yep. it's excellent. oh, my god. it's so good. [ light laughter ] all right, so what else -- what else are you gonna make us here? >> this is a -- >> seth: i'm almost done with my butsu. >> it's good, right? >> seth: it's good. >> this is, i made, 100% fish pasta. >> seth: wait, the pasta is made out of fish? >> 100%. >> seth: what kind of fish is it made out of? >> this is a whole -- called white fish. seabream -- a type of seabream. >> seth: uh-huh. so you ca

>> seth: i'm always so happy to see you. >> are you? >> seth: yeah. >> really? >> seth: yeah! >> i'm glad you're happy to see me. >> seth: of course. >> that's right. >> seth: you've been through a lot in the last couple years. we're all very happy to see you. >> really? >> seth: yeah. >> okay. >> seth: and this special, you actually open up, and you talk about everything you went through with your accident. was it -- was it hard to come to the decision to talk about it so openly? >> it wasn't hard. i got my money. [ laughter ] >> seth: okay, good. >> but i don't like to -- i don't like to talk about money, you know it disconnects me from my audience and stuff. and besides, do i look like the type of dude that's got a fan base with money? >> seth: no, no, i guess not. [ laughter ] >> my fans go to the strip club after they see me. [ light laughter ] >> seth: you talk about how you feel as though you -- you almost passed to the other side, and then they sent you back. >> yeah, you know god he sort of -- angels bringing me to the pearly gates, he said, "aw, take him back down."

. >> seth: strata. >> strata. >> seth: okay. can i come over and have a bite of strata. >> oh, i want to you taste it. it's so good. >> seth: okay, great. >> here, help yourself. >> seth: thank you. >> put it on the plate there. [ laughter and applause ] of course. what do you think? >> seth: mmm! >> isn't that good? [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: martha stewart, everybody! available where books are sold. everyone in the audience is getting a book tonight! [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i don't think that's how they're made. klondike hooks up with tasty flavors... the best ice cream bars ever conceived. he's got a condo. he's got a car. he's got a career. but that still doesn't mean he gets you. time to shine. orbit. ♪ ♪ guyscause this is my jam.n... showtime! ♪tell it to my heart ♪tell me i'm the only one... nailed it tim, nailed it. ♪ thank you so much. thank you! so we're a go? yes! we got a yes! what does that mean for purchasing? purchase. let's do this. got it. book

i tried, seth! [ light laughter ] anyways she would -- she would be about to get a kiss and she would say to herself, "colleen, this is it!" and then it wouldn't happen. [ light laughter ] so, you know, you can sort of see where lorne was coming from. >> seth: yeah. >> with that. >> seth: well, you know, i don't think it's something we can do with an active cast member. but, you know, "second chance theater" is an incredibly popular thing here at "late night." i think at one point we have to get colleen on her feet. >> are you saying there's a chance? >> seth: there's a chance. [ light laughter ] >> i'll only give up on her after i've left her after i've left "snl." [ light laughter ] i'm holding on hope until then, man. >> seth: all right. please hold on hope and keep doing what you do. kate, it's always just the best to see you. thank you for being here. >> thank you, seth. >> seth: kate mckinnon, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] "rough night" is in theaters friday. we'll be right back with bria

. >> seth: strata. >> strata. >> seth: okay. can i come over and have a bite of strata. >> oh, i want to you taste it. it's so good. >> seth: okay, great. >> here, help yourself. >> seth: thank you. >> put it on the plate there. [ laughter and applause ] of course. what do you think? >> seth: mmm! >> isn't that good? [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: martha stewart, everybody! "a new wake to bake" is available where books are sold. everyone in the audience is getting a book tonight! [ cheers and applause ] we'll be right back! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ i don't think that's how they're made. klondike hooks up with tasty flavors... the best ice cream bars ever conceived. he's got a condo. he's got a car. he's got a career. but that still doesn't mean he gets you. time to shine. orbit. ♪ ♪ guyscause this is my jam.n... showtime! ♪tell it to my heart ♪tell me i'm the only one... nailed it tim, nailed it. ♪ thank you so much. thank you! so we're a go? yes! we got a yes! what does that mean for purchasing? purchase. let

>> seth meyers, you are forgiven. [ applause ] my turn. seth? >> seth: yes, will? >> i am sorry for starting the website sethmeyerssucks.com. [ laughter ] the number one stop on the web for seth meyers haters to connect and bond over how much they hate seth meyers. >> seth: that was you? >> yes. i am the founder and ceo -- [ laughter ] of sethmeyerssucks.com. and i feel awful about it. >> seth: okay, well. you are forgiven. >> and if you people sign up at sethmeyerssucks.com today, they can become platinum members, which gives them an all-access pass to everything sethmeyerssucks.com has to offer. including this free seth meyers sucks t-shirt. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] and this seth meyers sucks koozie. [ laughter and applause ] so you can keep your drinks cool. much cooler than seth meyers. [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: are you apologizing or are you promoting the website? >> i'm apologomoting. [ laughter ] >> seth: fair enough. will, you are forgiven. [ applause ] my turn. will? >> yes, seth? >> seth: i am sorry for not letting you know about the

thank you, seth. >> seth: been a great week. >> thank you so much. >> seth: awesome having you. >> definitely. >> seth: now, if you've got a chance to look at the paper this morning, you might have seen there was a new story on migrating tree frogs, and -- [ light laughter ] i'm sorry. i could be wrong here, but i think i smell some smoke. and that could only mean only one thing. it's time for "ya burnt"! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome to the burn zone. we've got a lot of topics to sizzle through, but not a lot of time. over here at the burner, let's turn up the gas and load 'er up. woo-hooo-hooo! sizzle me timbers! first up -- ice cream trucks. ah, the pied piper of diabetes. [ light laughter ] nothing better than a truck that gets kids immediately running out into the middle of the street. [ light laughter ] and, hey, why don't your popsicles look anything like the picture? because my spongebob looks like he survived chernobyl. [ laughter ] also, ice cream trucks, would you quit playing that creepy jingle? what's that song called anyway? "abduction in c-major?" [ light laughte

>> yes. >> seth: you will? >> yes. >> seth: are you excited about that? >> yes. >> seth: okay. [ light laughter ] >> because i will have just done a matinee -- >> seth: right. >> at the end of an eight-show week, and what better way to spend an evening than to run right from the five-hour evening of sitting. [ laughter ] no, i mean, yeah -- i'm looking forward to it. >> seth: i can't tell. i can't tell. this is -- are you enjoying the show you're doing now? this is a farce? >> yeah. it's a -- it's an old coward. yes, it is a sort of farce and it's high-energy and very witty, and very funny, and humorous too. >> seth: have you done an old coward play before? >> never before. this is my first. i've always wanted to, and i'm delighted to be in this one because it's, i think, more than any of his other plays, it's hiss. it's accessible. it's funny. it's about an ego maniacal actor who is having a bit of a -- >> seth: did you have to do research to play an ego maniacal actor? [ light laughter ] >> funnily enough, no. [ laughter ] the role was so appealing i th

seth meyers, "late night with seth meyers." secretary spicer, lately it feels like every day there is a new scandal in the white house to deal with. how long did last week seem to you? >> frankly, well over a year. [ light laughter ] >> seth: and how long do you think it will be until mike pence becomes the president? >> i think we've got an hour or two before he's actually sworn in. [ laughter ] [ scattered applause ] >> seth: an hour or two? what's been the biggest challenge so far for president trump? >> coping with the effects of traumatic brain injury and head trauma. [ laughter ] >> seth: your job seems pretty stressful. what do you do to keep yourself from taking up smoking? >> use the patches that are available to ensure that it doesn't happen. [ light laughter ] >> seth: what do you call when it a really tall man sits down in front of you at the movie theater? >> a historic show of obstructionism. [ light laughter ] >> seth: what is the republican party doing to ensure that trump gets re-elected in 2020? >> we are call

. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." [ cheers and applause ] how's everybody doing tonight? that is great to hear. let's get to the news everybody. former fbi director james comey testified before the senate intelligence committee today and comey ran the gambit of emotions from bemusement, to confusion, to outright anger. [ light laughter ] during his testimony today, former fbi director james comey said that the trump administration chose to defame him and the fbi with "lies, plain and simple." a claim that was refuted by both plain and simple. [ laughter and applause ] president trump -- president trump did not post on twitter during james comey's senate testimony today. well, he thought he did, but his aide switched his phone with a speak and spell. [ laughter and applause ] former president barack obama's white house ethics lawyers said yesterday that, "comey's accounts of his meetings with president trump sounds like trial testimony, which is also what trump thinks comey did today. "this is jus

ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that's great to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. first lady melania trump and son, barron, officially moved into the white house yesterday. unfortunately, during the move, someone left the gate open and sean spicer ran away. [ light laughter ] spicey! spicey! [ light laughter ] according to a new poll, americans find former fbi director james comey to be more trustworthy than president trump. also more americans prefer pepsi to the bottle marked "rat poison." [ light laughter ] shocking polls. there are some shocking polls out there. [ light laughter ] labor secretary alexander acosta spoke to the press this afternoon and pushed for wider use of apprenticeship training for people who, quote, "learn better by doing." of course learning by doing doesn't always work for everyone. [ light laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] attorney general jeff sessions will testify tomorrow in front of the senate inte

i'm very -- [ wind ] >> seth. >> seth: gorbon? >> can you hear me, seth? >> seth: yes. >> seth? >> seth: are you speaking to me telepathically? >> yes. >> seth: that's impossible, how can you do this? >> an ancient tribe of norse witches performed paganistic ritual where my soul transcended my earthly body and entered valhalla where odin himself taught me how to free myself from the shackles of speech and gave me the power of mind-to- c >> seth: that's amazing. >> seth, i have a very important warning for you, seth. >> seth: what is it, gorbon? >> seth! >> seth: yes? >> get a hotel room if you take your family to a water park. >> seth: what? >> it's just such a long day. last summer i took my wife, rachel, and the twins to crystal springs water park in east brunswick, new jersey and we tried to drive back in the same day. what a mistake, we were totally wiped. the kids were cranky and it was just a complete nightmare. [ light laughter ] >> seth: our son is too young for water parks. >> you're lucky. i mean, don't get me wrong, there's nothing better than the look of joy on your

>> seth: wow! >> easy, right. >> seth: and so what would -- when you order this, what would this be called at a restaurant? >> at the tetsu? >> seth: yeah. >> tuna guacamole butsu. >> seth: all right. >> easy, right? >> seth: yeah, very easy. >> no. >> seth: tuna guacamole butsu. >> yeah. and then, not too expensive. >> seth: no? okay, good. [ laughter ] all right. what do we eat it with? chopsticks? fork? >> yes. >> seth: great. [ light laughter ] okay. very, very excited to try this. >> yep. >> seth: very good. >> it's good right? >> seth: yep. it's excellent. oh, my god. it's so good. [ light laughter ] all right, so what else -- what else are you gonna make us here? >> thi a >> seth: i'm almost done with my butsu.. >> this is, i made, 100% fish pasta. >> seth: wait, the pasta is made out of fish? >> 100%. >> seth: what kind of fish is it made out of? >> this is a whole -- called white fish. seabream -- a type of seabream. >> seth: uh-huh. so you can make noodles out of fish? >> 100%. >> seth: w

. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." [ cheers and applause ] how's everybody doing tonight? that is great to hear. let's get to the news everybody. former fbi director james comey testified before the senate intelligence committee today and comey ran the gambit of emotions from bemusement, to confusion, to outright anger. [ ligh during his testimony today, former fbi director james comey said that the trump administration chose to defame him and the fbi with "lies, plain and simple." a claim that was refuted by both plain and simple. [ laughter and applause ] president trump -- president trump did not post on twitter during james comey's senate testimony today. well, he thought he did, but his aide switched his phone with a speak and spell. [ laughter and applause ] former president barack obama's white house ethics lawyers said yesterday that, "comey's accounts of his meetings with president trump sounds like trial testimony, which is also right?" "we'll see how it goes, then decide if we like it?"

>> seth: no. i'm familiar with her, but i never did her work. >> yeah, but you improvised in holland? >> seth: i did. i used to work for a theater company in amsterdam, and i did improv comedy there. >> that's amazing. that's funny, because i did improvisation in bermuda. >> seth: okay. >> i was making a movie there. this was really -- we had nothing to do in the evenings. so we went to a bar. it was a town that had a port that boats from all over the world came. so in this bar were sailors who had had a lot to drink, who didn't speak the same language. they all came from different countries. >> seth: sure. >> so i'm there with this other actor, and i said, "what do you think we put on a show? they got a stage right there. let's put on a show." he said, "well they won't understand us." i said, "no, we'll do the show in gibberish. they won't know what language it is." [ laughter ] >> seth: gotcha. >> did you ever do gibberish in sketches? are you good at gibberish? >> i like it. mine sounds a littl

meyers. >> seth: good evening everybody, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] great to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. president trump today called the appointment of a special council to investigate his campaign's ties to russia, the single greatest witch hunt of a politician in american history. though it didn't help his case much when he flew away on a broom. [ laughter ] during a press conference this afternoon, president trump said that his administration is getting things done at a record-setting pace. for example, most presidents take four years to finish a term and it looks like trump's gonna get it done in like eight months. [ cheers and applause ] so -- [ laughter ] you're out! the justice department yesterday appointed former fbi director robert mueller as special council to oversee the investigation into trump and russia. "i'm gonna get to the bottom of this." said donald trump to a pint of haagen dazs. [ laughter ] everybody, calling me a liar. i'm not a liar.

>> seth: really? >> yes! lincoln was a republican, seth. a lot of people don't know that. >> seth: really? >> yeah, really. >> seth: and really, if this portrayal was offensive to anyone, it's caesar. caesar was beloved by the roman empire. to put it another way, he won the popular vote. [ cheers and applause ] he was so popular, we don't use his name for pizza, we use it for pizza pizza. [ laughter ] the only thing caesar and trump have in common is they both have casinos named after them. and really, you could tell that caesar wasn't really trump, because the senate stabbed him instead of just passing his [ bleep ] health care bill. [ laughter ] [ cheers ] >> also, protesters, this is new york city. if you want to interrupt a play, bring your grandpa and let him unwrap a werther's candy for two hours. [ laughter ] >> seth: really. >> because all you did by running on stage was make a shakespeare production entertaining for once. really?! >> seth: really? >> when you pulled your stunt, that audience was definitely buzzed on rose and this c

thank you, seth. >> seth: been a great week. >> thank you so much. >> seth: awesome having you. >> definitely. >> seth: now, if you've got a chance to look at the paper this morning, you might have seen there was a new story on migrating tree frogs, and -- [ light laughter ] i'm sorry. i could be wrong here, but i think i smell some smoke. and that could only mean only one thing. it's time for "ya burnt"! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: welcome to the burn zone. we've got a lot of topics to sizzle through, but not a lot of time. over here at the burner, let's turn up the gas and load 'er up. woo-hooo-hooo! sizzle me timbers! [ light laughter ] first up -- ice cream trucks. ah, the pied piper of diabetes. [ light laughter ] nothing better than a truck that gets kids immediately running out into the middle of the street. [ light laughter ] and, hey, why don't your popsicles look anything like the picture? because my spongebob looks like he survived chernobyl. [ laughter ] also, ice cream trucks, would you quit playing that creepy jingle? what's that song called anyway? "abduction in c-majo

meyers. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] very good to hear, in that case, let's get to the news. president trump today met several native american tribal leaders. they had a lot of questions for the president, such as how the hell did you manage to lose money running a casino? [ light laughter ] the chicago cubs made their second visit to the white house today, wow! two white house visits in one year. who do they think they are, the president? [ light laughter ] during a phone call with the irish prime minister yesterday, president trump reportedly told an irish journalist in the oval office that she had a nice smile on her face. then he said, "wait, now it's gone." [ light laughter ] according to new research, a press-on patch for the flu vaccine works just as well as the flu shot. you just remove the adhesive backing and place it firmly over your co-workers' mouth. [ light laughter ] a british man who previously set a record for making the world's

. >> seth: uh-huh. >> oh, yeah. >> seth: that's good. i'm glad you were. >> yeah. [ laughter ] yeah. >> seth: 'cause i was terrified, too, and i'd taken classes and stuff. >> well, i appreciate your kindness. [ light laughter ] it was very scary. but we just -- we jumped in and we had a really good time. and i apparently -- my first line was apparently a bold drop. >> seth: okay. >> so i impressed my team. >> seth: oh, good. >> and they asked me back, so i didn't destroy anything. >> seth: okay, great. what was your first line? >> well, the sketch quickly became -- everyone decided we were in a jail and it was obvious that as we were all lined up, there was a guy on the end who was going to be -- not really a criminal. so everyone said, you know, "i'm in for murder, or triple murder," or whatever. and then the gentleman at the end said, "accounting fraud." and i went, "oh, so you're a [ bleep ]." >> seth: oh, there you go. [ laughter ] >> because i figure if the president can say it, i can say it. >> seth: yeah, you can say it. >> so rig

>> seth: oh, yeah? >> they look at the boom -- >> seth: yeah. >> like, they're fascinated and so you're, like, "look at me." and they're like looking over here -- >> seth: oh, there's a microphone and they're just distracted by that, yeah. >> yeah, and then stage parents. >> seth: oh, you have the parents there, of course, because they know -- they can't just drop their kids off on set and go out and about. >> i just think it's a really dodgy business to be in. [ light laughter ] >> seth: yeah. >> i mean child labor of any kind -- >> seth: yeah. >> selling matches, sweeping chimneys and -- and -- and get your child to act are probably the three worse -- >> seth: now here -- it seems like you're taking both side of this argument because a second ago you were complaining about them needing breaks and now you're saying -- >> well, you know, yes, i -- i'm -- >> seth: do they -- cause obviously -- there's a -- the show's adult, there's language in the show that the children shouldn't hear. >> yeah. >> seth:

. >> seth: good evening, everybody. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] fantastic. that is great to hear, in that case, let's get to the news. the white house announced yesterday that president trump fired fbi director james comey. yet another long time dream that trump stole from hillary. [ laughter and applause ] "he did what? great. great." president trump said today that he fired fbi director james comey because he was simply "not doing a good job." you know, if i were you, i wouldn't put it out there that you can get fired for that. i mean, just say, like, i don't know. [ laughter and applause ] he was misusing taxpayer money. oh, wait, no that doesn't work either, i don't know. [ light laughter ] we'll -- we'll think of something. the white house is claiming fbi director james comey was fired, not because of the russian investigation, but over his handling of the investigation of hillary clinton's private e-mail use. right. they're firing him for the hillary thing. [ light laughter ] kind of li

i'm very -- [ wind ] >> seth. >> seth: gorbon? >> can you hear me, seth? >> seth: yes. >> seth? >> seth: are you speaking to me telepathically? >> yes. >> seth: that's impossible, how can you do this? >> an ancient tribe of norse witches performed paganistic ritual where my soul transcended my earthly body and entered valhalla where odin himself taught me how to free myself from the shackles of speech and gave me the power of mind-to-mind communication. >> seth: that's amazing. >> seth, i have a very important warning for you, seth. >> seth: what is it, gorbon? >> seth! >> seth: yes? >> get a hotel room if you take your family to a water park. >> seth: what? >> it's just such a long day. last summer i took my wife, rachel, and the twins to crystal springs water park in east brunswick, new jersey and we tried to drive back in the same day. what a mistake, we were totally wiped. the kids were cranky and it was just a complete nightmare. [ light laughter ] >> seth: our son is too young for water parks. >> you're lucky. i mean, don't get me wrong, there's nothing better than the loo

. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers, this is "late night," how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that's good to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. during a meeting with the president of panama today, president trump said, "we did a good job building the panama canal." despite the fact that the canal was constructed over a century ago. mr. president, if you're going to keep saying stuff this dumb in front of other world leaders, could you at least wear a big bandage on your head? [ light laughter ] you know, so it seems like there's a reason. [ cheers and applause ] "oh, your president has suffered an injury, that explains it. we'll come back later." former fbi director james comey was reportedly seen dancing this weekend at a wedding in washington, d.c. got to say, i'm impressed. if i had read that many of anthony weiner's e-mails, i don't think i'd ever dance again. [ light laughter ] people are reportedly sending hate mail to the wrong shakespeare companies across the country, blaming them for

meyers. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] very good to hear, in that case, let's get to the news. president trump today met several native american tribal leaders. they had a lot of questions for the president, such as how the hell did you manage to lose money running a casino? [ the chicago cubs made their second visit to the white house today, wow! two white house visits in one year. who do they think they are, the president? [ light laughter ] during a phone call with the irish prime minister yesterday, president trump reportedly told an irish journalist in the oval office that she had a nice smile on her face. then he said, "wait, now it's gone." [ light laughter ] according to new research, a press-on patch for the flu vaccine works just as well as the flu shot. you just remove the adhesive backing and place it firmly over your co-workers' mouth. [ light laughter ] a british man who previously set a record for making the world's largest rubik's

>> seth: wow! >> easy, right. >> seth: and so what would -- when you order this, what would this be called at a restaurant? >> at the tetsu? >> seth: yeah. >> tuna guacamole butsu. >> seth: all right. >> easy, right? >> seth: yeah, very easy. >> no. >> seth: tuna guacamole butsu. >> yeah. and then, not too expensive. >> seth: no? okay, good. [ laughter ] all right. what do we eat it with? chopsticks? fork? >> yes. >> seth: great. [ light laughter ] okay. very, very excited to try this. >> yep. >> seth: very good. >> it's good right? >> seth: yep. it's excellent. oh, my god. it's so good. [ light laughter ] all right, so what else -- what else are you gonna make us here? >> this is- >> seth: i'm almost done with my butsu. >> it's good, right? >> seth: it's good. >> this is, i made, 100% fish pasta. >> seth: wait, the pasta is made out of fish? >> 100%. >> seth: what kind of fish is it made out of? >> this is a whole -- called white fish. seabream -- a type of seabream. >> seth: uh-huh. so you can ma

i tried, seth! [ light laughter ] anyways she would -- she would be about to get a kiss and she would say to herself, "colleen, this is it!" and then it wouldn't happen. [ light laughter ] so, you know, you can sort of see where lorne was coming from. >> seth: yeah. >> with that. >> seth: well, you know, i don't think it's something we can do with an active cast member. but, you know, "second chance theater" is an incredibly popular thing here at "late night." i think at one point we have to get colleen on her feet. >> are you saying there's a chance [ light laughter ] >> i'll only give up on her after i've left her after i've left "snl." [ light laughter ] i'm holding on hope until then, man. >> seth: all right. please hold on hope and keep doing what you do. kate, it's always just the best to see you. thank you for being here. >> thank you, seth. >> seth: kate mckinnon, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] "rough night" is in theaters friday. we'll be right back with brian tyree henry." [ cheers and

>> seth: no. i'm familiar with her, but i never did her work. >> yeah, but you improvised in holland? >> seth: i did. i used to work for a theater company in amsterdam, and i did improv comedy there. >> that's amazing. that's funny, because i did improvisation in bermuda. >> seth: okay. >> i was making a movie there. this was really -- we had nothing to do in the evenings. so we went to a bar. it was a town that had a port that boats from all over the world came. so in this bar were sailors who had had a lot to drink, who didn't speak the same language. they all came from different countries. >> seth: sure. >> so i'm there with this other actor, and i said, "what do you think we put on a show? they got a stage right there. let's put on a show." he said, "well they won't understand us." i said, "no, we'll do the show in gibberish. they won't know what language it is." [ laughter ] >> seth: gotcha. >> did you ever do gibberish in sketches? >> seth: i'm not particularly good at gibberish. are you goo

> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers, this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] good to hear. in that case let's get to the news. treasury secretary steve mnuchin got married this weekend for the third time. and the wedding was officiated by vice president mike pence. because if there's one thing mike pence stands for, it's the sanctity of a third marriage. man, woman, i'm good, let's do it. [ light laughter ] president trump and his wife melania this weekend attended the wedding of treasury secretary steve mnuchin. when asked if she cries at weddings melania said, "just the one." [ laughter and applause ] after the white house announced cameras would be banned from press briefings, cnn recently sent a sketch artist to document it. and apparently, it was pretty wild. [ laughter and applause ] i haven't spoken to the president about that. [ light laughter ] a new study found that people who have sex more frequently, experience improved brain function as they got older. so who knows, maybe he will [ laughter an

. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening, i am seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] great to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. president trump visited the jewish holy site, the western wall in east jerusalem today. he also said the wall was the reason israel doesn't have any mexicans. [ laughter ] even brought out a tape measure. melania, how big is a mexico? [ laughter ] president trump said today he never mentioned the word "israel" as the source of intelligence about isis during a meeting with russian officials. dude, nobody said you did. [ laughter ] that's like if your wife said, "are you having an affair?" and you said, "i am not sleeping with jenna." [ laughter ] president trump was given an official welcome -- oh, sorry. president trump was -- one more time. [ laughter ] okay, great. will -- wally, will you admit there's a mistake on that cue card? >> yes, there is. >> seth: thank you, wally. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] wally! hey, wally! you [ bleep ] up buddy! [

> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers, and this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] fantastic. so good to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. senate republicans today released a draft of their bill to repeal and replace obamacare, which would cut taxes for richer americans and insurance companies, and defund planned parenthood for one year. the bill is so bad, president trump said, "does anyone have any questions for me about russia?" [ light laughter ] "alternatively i could show you my tax returns. do you guys want to see that?" [ light laughter ] president trump and the first lady hosted the congressional picnic today on the south lawn of the white house, or as eric was told, "the north lawn." [ light laughter ] following losses in two special congressional elections this week, one democratic staffer reportedly said, "we have 80-year-old leaders and 90-year-old ranking members. this isn't a party, it's a giant assisted living center." [ light laughter ] even w