greg: time for final thoughts. kat. >> thank you greg. i discovered a amazing website master class .com. amazing videos teaching what they do best. martin scorsese teaches directing, or samuel l jackson teaches acting. i decided i really want to teach my own master class in here is the trailer. >> if you only want to wear your real hair and this is not the class for you. but, if you're willing to wear enough makeup to draw a small rat that i could be speaking to you. after taking this class you'll learn not to how be on tv but how to btv. cable news is all about having good reaction basis. let me see your disagreement face. why are you smiling? would tucker carlson smile? [laughter] >> i'm sorry. >> get out. i can't look at you right now. we will tackle all the things you need to know to be at cable news talking head. start every answer with absolute so the host will like you and you get better back. you are only three appearances away from being an expert on anything. you can learn to form a strong opinion on any topic in five minutes or

greg: true. don't base foreign-policy on a really cool joke. >> yeah, as cool as it would be, it wouldn't look very good in history books. they thought it would be funny. greg: professor, to the elements help foster diplomacy between adversaries or does it only help rogue nations like north korea to put up polished based on their misery? >> if you go back to 1936 where the world welcomed hitler and the nazis and allow them to disqualify jewish runners and hitler wouldn't shake hands with jesse owens and all of that, it can be used as a terrible, terrible show of helping tyrannical regime. on the other hand, it also, look, think of how many cheerleaders will go back to north korea? i hereby offer to represent any of them want to defect. [cheering and applause] anyone who wants to do that, i'm their lawyer. greg: here is the reason they will not back. each of those cheerleaders families are probably in a room, right track there in a room and if you don't return their casserole for the starving citi

>> greg: that's why they have scripts. the great thing about robert de niro is he such a great actor when he was younger and it's too bad. i wrote de niro in my iphone to pitch the story and he came out as "denial," corrective for denial. his emotional perspective is causing him to deny the world in front of him. if you cite facts about what's going on. he thinks we are in this dystopian hel. things have never been better but he can't see that. i saw an actor of equal magnitude say stuff about obama. this emotional, irrational door could swing both ways. when your mind is clouded by emotions, that's what you see. any sensible person, when you look at that, you go, he's not doing well. it's not a good look for you, de niro. >> kimberly: what do you think, dana? >> dana: i thought the restraint at the golden globes was welcome and serve them well. could have turned into this. i love civility. >> greg: civility is overrated overrated. >> kimberly: we can tell you think so. jesse. >> jesse: i don't have anything else about de

it >> greg: me! >> kimberly: the next time you place an order, you may want to ask, do you want fries with that? super delicious taco bell cheesy fries. they come with nacho cheese. what do you think? it has a spicy kick. they have mexican seasoning on it. i think it's a bargain. you get the side of cheese. >> greg: taco bell is the edison lab of food. >> kimberly: $1. $1. you can get all of this. it's only for a limited time. >> greg: jesse. >> jesse: we have reported the nfl has a lot of problems. now the nfl has a new challenge challenger, a new league is coming. the xfl. vince mcmahon is bringing back the excess file to compete agaie nfl. it's going to be spring football. eight teams, 40 man rosters. has some requirements about the national anthem and breaking laws. let's listen. >> i think it's a time honored tradition to stand and appreciate the national anthem with any sport. you are in america. any country they do that. i think you would be appropriate to do that. you want someone who does no

greg. >> greg: time for greg's dating tips. you know, going back on the dating scene, it's important you are properly cleaned, especially if you are kind of hairy, like this fellow. look at him preparing for his date. he's getting all the important spots. he's looking forward to it. he just got out of a bad marriage. he just met somebody online. it was just a mouse click away. he's incredibly thorough. hoping maybe he find someone special. >> kimberly: you are aware that i have a kimberly's dating news and tips segments. >> greg: i invented mine well before. >> kimberly: i will see you after the show. good thing i have an outstanding "one more thing." a dog superhero. he's been called a hometown hero from his home town northern california. an elderly man was going for an early morning walk when he fell and he was unable to get up. he fell into water, so he was in danger. the golden retriever saw the incident, began aggressively barking which alerted his owner. his owner was able to help the man out of the water. the gentleman w

greg: adult son. that's a dolphin sound please what -- >> new year, new sound five not the bannon part but the other part. cat, you have the floor or the sea or however you would like it. go, say, a thing. >> all right. let's see, at the risk of teens saying conservative i did not love the tweet but that was my reaction. i don't love this but then i went on about my day with zero concern about being blown up whatsoever. i don't understand why you can't just kind of not like something anymore and that's not an option and you have to be convinced it will kill you and i have enough stuff to worry about killing me already five that is so true. me. >> forty-one. greg: yes, you can see me coming a mile away or smelly. i have a theory that trump has no resolutions. he didn't say let's less tweet or layout cnn he probably said one less cheeseburger after midnight. >> he's on top of the world why would you change anything? the north korea thing -- it's a game called good cop, bad cop. he makes a bold statement

. >> greg: let's do that. i think we have sound on tape of donald trump responding. >> that was a state thing, but we are now going to get involved with them. i love that they took responsibility. they took total responsibility but we are going to get involved. take total responsibility. they made a mistake. >> juan: you can see this concern is "don't blame me. wasn't me this time." that's his concern, as of close to expressing some of your outrage. >> greg: the proportion is so off. >> dana: the concern about it being a hack is a real one. cyber terror can come in lots of different forms. probably couldn't conceive of those forms. our responsibility, state or local government or federal government, trying to be more creative than what a criminal or hacker might do. if you have panic like that that leads to an accident, whether it be because people crash into each other on the highway trying to get out or something much worse. including retaliation. you could lose a lot of lives for nothing. >> greg: juan brou

greg, you go. >> greg: my favorite would be regret. "greg gutfeld show." saturday, great lawyer alan dershowitz. we've got the grade shall be holiday from "wall street journal." we've got kat timpf and cyrus. it's going to be awesome. and now it is time for this! okay, roll the tape. >> kimberly: that's not good. >> greg: what is this? does anybody know what this is? this came in my inbox today x... >> jesse: gerbil. >> greg: i don't think it's a gerbil. >> kimberly: you don't know? if this was a gerbil and up along to greg, it probably wouldn't be here on video. >> greg: i believe it's a baby possum. >> jesse: "watters world" live. we have phillips, lou diamond and silk. i want to show you this harrowing video. collision on a river. >> kimberly: this is terrible... >> dana: oh! >> kimberly: that's so awful! >> jesse: these guys are just trying to catch some salmon in oregon. allegedly on a cell phone. says he wasn't on a cell phone. >> kimberly: if kimberly was a prosecutor, that guy would be out of there. i would put them away and i would eat a doughnut.

wait, greg, greg, greg! i met katie! you're always talking about. - not always. seldom. never. - oh, he says such nice things about you. i mean, he's basically in love with you. - [laughs] okay. we should go and get some lunch? - it was so nice to meet you. i wish we had more time to talk. - oh, but you can! [loud crash] hey, i'm carol. i'm katie's mom. i have an idea. why don't the four of us go to lunch? both: what? no. both: why not? sounds fun! - wonderful, unless katie can think of a reason that we shouldn't in three... - uh, rat! - two... - dog! - one! yay! we're going! [both laugh] ♪ - all right, that's it. no more autographs! go on! - love you, chuck. - drain the swamp! i dropped my keys in it. - what's wrong, chuck? don't you like having fans? - of course, but i want fans who like me for the right reasons: because i'm impartial and i'm trustworthy and i do a great impression of [british accent] christopher walken, baby! yeah! - but you're old and from nebraska, so you've got to be some sort of conservative, right? - portia, i make an effort to never have a pub

♪ >> greg: i am greg gutfeld with kimberly guilfoyle, juan williams, jesse watters, and dana perino. "the five" ." to summarize the golden globes, women wore black. men wore pins. people used words like intersectional gender parity. >> we want intersectional gender parity. >> greg: yes. nothing like messing on the carpet. this script was set. a show of unity condemning abuses most in hollywood had ignored for decades. it's about time. i don't think i could stick another standing ovation for a child rapist. but one form of lockstep becomes another. hollywood therapy is always projection, lecturing us on us when what's really wrong is hollywood. connie britton's shirt reads "poverty is sexist." it makes no sense to inject identity politics into shared suffering unless of course it looks good on a shirt. "the handmaid's tale," a horror fantasy were women are routinely abused. keep it from becoming real, says the guy who won. sadly he wasn't referring to iran. i think he meant us because hollywood tends to this the real abuses. iran, venezuela, the ussr, cuba. they are always the last to

. >> greg: is when you wake up and decide. >> i don't know what you just said. >> greg: neither did i. >> i think it has a lot to do with gender. like 18 for women, 34 for guys. that's when men become actual men. >> i'm not sure i could disagree with that. i think women on campus i've been -- >> there having therapy sessions for people were thinking of going to a ben shapiro speech. those brains are still developing who's in charge of this? someone had to leave until he was 25. he still lives in the basement? sure, i'm only two years behind schedule. seriously, i just think it's because the people who bought all this past chair was on that we dealt with including western society made it possible for people to sit around and play video games. >> i just and say xbox. >> greg: still to come, the special investigation. you won't want to miss that. announcing the best countries ranking. if are not number one where say that phone number twos. patrick woke up with a sore back. but he's got work to do. so he took aleve this morning. if he'd taken tylenol, he'd be stopping for more pills right

let's go to greg. >> greg: two observations. he's going to do a great job because the expectations are set so low by the media. they are so upset with him, and they expect so little from him that all he will have to do is just the -- >> dana: i think expectations are high this time. >> greg: i don't think so it all. people are looking forward to them being evil and wrong command he will be nice. the other thing is i want to take a page out of angie ferguson from "the weekly standard." it would be much better if he got there and said you don't need this. i tweet every day. you don't need the state of the union. all you have to do is follow me on twitter. i tell you everything that's on my mind. this is the first and last state of the union i'm ever going to do. take your family after dinner on those bonuses. i'm going home. that would be the most awesome state of the union of all time. >> dana: he might get a standing ovation. >> greg: the problem is it is so fake. the reason why the state of the union sucks is that it is so fake

her husband is successful. $1,000, it's a lot of money, like greg said, to anybody. >> greg: that is at least one haircut for her. >> jesse: with a collar or no? >> greg: she is a multimillionaire. her mansion is insane, if you've ever seen her mansion in california. she calls five figures crumbs and she's not even a republican. >> jesse: could you run an ad of the scuffed of pelosi saying crumbs. >> dana: you could. i think what they are trying to do a show, not just tell, that there's a big disparity, that the corporations are, getting a sweetheart deal from this tax reform bill and yes they are having significant bonuses. they are raising wages are adding paternity leave. we are going to talk about walmart later. it's not artful, and i think the reality of what's happening on the economic side is really important. president obama wanted to do corporate tax reform. he wanted to go from the 35 rate to 27. paul ryan was at 25. they could never get the deal. if they'd gotten the deal, they would've been able to have economic benefits like they are senile, but they chose not to. >> jua

kidding. >> greg: probably watching "the five." they get it there. >> jesse: hillary and huma and podesta were all hacked and trump is being investigated. just so we understand that. i understand going after the deep state. people like sally yates. she thought it was her role to not follow the law and she was hailed by the left. there's a lot of little sally yatess still sprinkled across the administration, the fbi, do doj. look at peter strzok, he was a big trump hater. when trump says deep state, doj is out to get me, it creates this perception among people that read twitter and follow the news that he's been unfairly attacked from within his own administration and it rallies the base to say we've got to support this guy. he's taking it from the left and the right and within the white house. it creates a bond between the president and his supporters. >> richard: the 33%? the small base. >> jesse: if hillary ran again, she would still lose. >> richard: we should ban a word for jesse. it should be hillary clinton. >> greg: i banded

greg. >> greg: he is not of this generation. he is an old-school guy. puts a rump roast in front of him, he will meet you on the other side. missing out on what cnn did. this is progress. gupta said donald trump has heart disease. cnn is admitting donald trump actually has a heart. this is major, major progress. they need an emergency quadruple bias bypass. they need some cognitive dissidents stents. give them six weeks of brain rest followed by two weeks of fox news and they will all be fine. >> juan: you didn't mention the dentures. >> greg: he didn't have them. >> juan: that's right. >> greg: we talked about that yesterday, juan. i think you have a memory issue. see if i've gupta. >> greg: you know would be a great move for donald trump, offer to pay for the same tests for the white house briefing room. everybody does the cognitive and physical test and they all have a party. >> katie: compare notes. >> jesse: let's see acosta's bmi. >> juan: hawaii, one of the biggest false alarms of the century. the great emperor penguin migration. trekking a hundr

. >> greg: time for... greg's security news. before you allow anybody to take a picture of you in front of your desk you might want to look around first. take a look at this picture. this actually happened to me. this is jeffrey wong, hawaii emergency management agency operations officer. this was taken by the ap in july. if you look a little closer, you will see a sticky note with the password for his computer. anyway, we called the hawaii emergency management agency official and said that password was for an internal computer application and is no longer in use. i don't want to make fun of this guy. fox did a thing on me, filmed in my office. i had my social security number, my password. he leaves stuff all over your desk. don't let anyone take a picture of your desk. >> jesse: that is strike two for the people in hawaii. dana. >> dana: this will tell you a little bit about how social lives are going in the world. most dog owners said they would rather hang out with their pets and people. studies show more than half of america

>> greg: day now. juan. in the green room, you said i thought it was nice of you to say i'm glad where we have this to see where the press goes wrong. good for trump. >> juan: i am sure i said that. more fake news. >> kimberly: is that a ventriloquist? >> greg: they were legitimate errors. >> juan: what does this add up to? what does it mean? jimmy kimmel said it's the stupid people's choice awards. no, no, no. late-night comedians are on this because they wanted in on it. they wanted to win. stephen colbert took out the ad, billboard in times square. for your consideration, mr. president. if you look at this from my perspective, gosh, the press looks so good. they corrected all these mistakes. there were retractions. people got fired. >> greg: why did they do that? people want to be proven wrong by trump? the prove wrong trump theory. >> juan: trying to prove you are right for you are so wrong here. if a journalist makes a mistake and owns up to it, that's bad? >> kimberly: such a shame waterfall. it is a s

>> greg: you are a child no mor. scientists in australia have concluded that adulthood begins at 24. the reason, societal and biological changes have push the end of adolescence past the age of 19. according to some stats which i didn't read, people are continue education longer into lame parenthood. scientists a we know the human brain develops beyond the age of 20, unless you're liberal. am i right? [applause] red meat hacked joke. we caught up to the typical 20 oh for comment. [inaudible] [inaudible] [inaudible] [inaudible] >> interesting fact, he is now on the supreme court. >> when you make of this? why is this happening? why is adulthood late? because were living longer? >> the same story said it starting earlier. adolescence is starting at ten, four years earlier than i did a hard 50 years ago. that's horrible. you're sitting in fifth grade, you have a mustache in your voice is deep you want to party. you feel like sliced alone but they treat you like leave it to beaver. that's the part that disturbs me. it's

>> greg: i didn't consider that. jesse says he's aligned himself with patriotic symbols so that if you are against him, you're kind of against the flag. in a way it's almost parallel that if you are against president obama, you are a racist. it's like you line yourself with certain kinds of come in his case, identity politics. in this case, unification and patriotism. >> dana: when they didn't come out when the democrats didn't stand -- i shouldn't say didn't. i had a democrat today who did stamper rising wages. they are lacking a message and they don't have the bully pulpit and they know that in their districts all the citizens are seeing good headlines about the economy. so there is a disconnect. for people who watched the speech, most of those tended to be people who elect the president anyway. the democrats are starting to lose ground in the congressional ballot. republicans have made considerable ground in a month. i think what the democrats could've done from a communication standpoint is stood up and cheered a

- did you talk to greg? - okay, well, i... may have meddled just the tiniest bit. - okay--what-- - okay, i told greg that if he wanted to be with you, he had to break up with cat. - oh, my god. you gave him an ultimatum? - because he should have made up his mind by now. i mean, he told me a couple of months ago that he liked you-- - what? - oh, boy. - no! sit. what do you know? - ohh... a while back, greg and i followed you on a date. and he told me he liked you-- - so you've been meddling to my face and behind my back. oh, my god, what are you even doing here? are you interning because you actually want a career? or is it maybe because you're trying to control every aspect of my life? - you know how much i want a career. - really? i actually don't, because they just gave you a job offer at "morning wined up" and you turned it down. i think maybe you're still an intern for a reason. - well, if that's how you feel, then i'll take myself as far away as i possibly can... to another floor in this building! "morn

. >> greg: greg's social etiquette news. you go to a party and you look around and it doesn't look very good. you leave. that's rude. >> kimberly: you do it all the time. >> greg: this penguin jumps up. imagine if you are the guy who owns the boat and the penguin is checking it out and looking around, seeing if he knows anybody. checking out the spread. i'm done. hurts people's feelings. >> kimberly: that is like you. >> dana: you have a thing for penguins in 2018. fox news launched its new newsroom today. the main newsroom had been in the basement since the channel launched, it's now in the light-filled second floor. 7600 square feet. studio space includes all sorts of things. 72 displays, robotic cameras. you are going to see great shows coming out of that newsroom. we thank you, fox news channel. >> juan: lots of talk in d.c. among my conservative friends this weekend about the supreme court of the united states. any signs for justice kennedy is about to retire? how about justice sotomayor are calling paramedics to her ho

- did you talk to greg? - okay, well, i... may have meddled just the tiniest bit. - okay--what-- - okay, i told greg he had to break up with cat. - oh, my god. you gave him an ultimatum? - because he should have made up his mind by now. i mean, he told me a couple of months ago that he liked you-- - what? - oh, boy. - no! sit. what do you know? - ohh... a while back, greg and i followed you on a date. and he told me he liked you-- - so you've been meddling to my face and behind my back. oh, my god, what are you even doing here? are you interning because you actually want a career? or is it maybe because you're trying to control every aspect of my life? - you know how much i want a career. - really? i actually don't, because they just gave you a job offer at "morning wined up" and you turned it down. i think maybe you're still an intern for a reason. - well, if that's how you feel, then i'll take myself as far away as i possibly can... to another floor in this building! "morning wined up," here i come! [in