seth meyers, "late night with seth meyers". secretary sanders, i have a couple of questions i'd like to ask if you don't mind. why have donald and melania looked so unhappy since the election? >> they didn't want to win. [ laughter ] >> seth: when was the last time president trump saw his feet? >> the days of the ronald reagan. [ laughter and applause ] >> seth: where's sean spicer working nowadays? >> at the local walmart. [ laughter ] >> seth: what's your favorite part of this job? >> purposefully misleading the american people. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: what do eric and donald jr. do at the white house? >> repeatedly beg for money. [ laughter ] >> seth: what would be a horrible premise for a "thelma and louise" sequel? >> first lady melania trump and second lady karen pence will travel to texas. [ laughter ] >> seth: it's been reported that the president eats a lot of mcdonald's. if true, he must leave behind a pretty devastating fart cloud. >> i've walked through that a couple of times now. [ laughter and applause ]

meyers. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night"! how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that is fantastic to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. former white house press secretary, sean spicer, said yesterday that oprah winfrey does not have enough political experience to run for president. [ laughter ] i don't know what he said next, but it had to be, "why is everybody laughing?" [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] according to -- according to new analysis, president trump speaks at a fourth grade level. but only -- [ laughter ] but only when he doesn't want betsy devos to know what he's talking about. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] "this isn't for betsy. we need to do it a-mmediately!" [ laughter ] former white house chief strategist, steve bannon, has stepped down from his position as the head of breitbart news. so he's unemployed. [ cheers ] i guess -- all this time, he really was dressing for the job he wanted. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] president trump will have hi

meyers. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that's fantastic to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. as i keep mentioning, disney world this week debuted their new president trump robot for the hall of presidents. [ light laughter ] and i just couldn't be happier about it. i mean, look at this thing. [ laughter ] wow. the trump robot looks like he just saw the trump robot. [ laughter ] did they let his ex wives design this? make the eyes emptier. add more neck fat. [ laughter ] anyway, we're going to be using the trump robot as our picture for him during the monologue as our way of saying merry christmas. [ laughter ] moving on! president trump tweeted this morning -- [ cheers and applause ] quote, "was 'fox & friends' just named the most influential show of the news. you deserve it. three great people." hey, dummy, that show is influential, because you believe every word they say, and they mostly just read your tweets. [ light

meyers. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that's fantastic to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. as i keep mentioning, disney world this week debuted their new president trump robot for the hall of presidents. [ light laughter ] and i just couldn't be happier about it. i mean, look at this thing. [ laughter ]

meyers." thank you for watching. have a great night. i hope to see you tomorrow. bye-bye everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

. >> seth: good evening, everybody, i'm seth meyers. it's "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] in that case let's get to the news. today was cyber monday, when online stores offered deals for christmas shoppers. it's perfect if you have a lot of people to buy for. and you're not allowed to go to the mall. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] president trump on friday claimed that he turned down being named "time" magazine's person of the year, after the magazine only told him he probably would be selected. luckily, he has a 100% chance of being named person of the year by insane chubby golfer magazine. [ cheers and applause ] president trump today hosted an event honoring native american code talkers, and during his speech alluded to senator elizabeth warren. take a look. >> you were here long before any of us were here, although we have a representative in congress who they say was here a long time ago. they call her pocahontas, but you know what? i like you, because you are special. >> seth: this bring

: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night"! how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that is fantastic to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. former white house press secretary, sean spicer, said yesterday that oprah winfrey does not have enough political experience to run for president. i don't know what he said next, but it had to be, "why is everybody laughing?" [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] according to -- according to new analysis, president trump speaks at a fourth grade level. but only -- [ laughter ] but only when he doesn't want betsy devos to know what he's talking about. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] "this isn't for betsy. we need to do it a-mmediately!" [ laughter ] former white house chief strategist, steve bannon, has stepped down from his position as the head of breitbart news. so he's unemployed. [ cheers ] i guess -- all this time, he really was dressing for the job he wanted. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] president trump will have his first physi

. >> seth: good evening, everybody, i'm seth meyers. it's "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] today was cyber monday, when online stores offered deals for christmas shoppers. it's perfect if you have a lot of people to buy for. and you're not allowed to go to the mall. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] president trump on friday claimed that he turned down being named "time" magazine's person of the year, after the magazine only told him he probably would be selected. luckily, he has a 100% chance of being named person of the year by insane chubby golfer magazine. [ cheers and applause ] president trump today hosted an event honoring native american code talkers, and during his speech alluded to senator elizabeth warren. take a look. >> you were here long before any of us were here, although we have a representative in congress who they say was here a long time ago. you know what? i like you, because you are special. >> seth: this brings us to a new segment entitled, "eight seconds of seth pinching th

#timesup was the message posted by seth meyers as actors embraced the #metoo movement wearing black and calling for gender and racial justice in the post harvey weinstein era. >> harvey weinstein isn't here tonight because, well, i have heard rumors that he is crazy and difficult to work with. the don't worry, he will be back in 20 years when he becomes the first person ever booed during the in memoriam. in a actresses brought social justice activist within this year. we will speak with two of them, puerto rican activist reported by the presidential candidate rosa clemente, who joined susan ,arandon, and saru jayaraman president and cofounder of the restaurant opportunities centers united who walked the red carpet with amy poehler. all of that and more, coming up. welcome to democracy now!, democracynow.org, the war and peace report. i'm amy goodman. president trump is demanding a slew of anti-immigrant measures, including $18 billion for his border wall in exchange for legal protections for young undocumented immigrants known as dreamers. in total, trump is demanding $33 billion over a

meyers. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers, this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] it's fantastic to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. president trump will deliver his first state of the union address tomorrow, so if you want to know how the country is doing, the state of the union is being delivered by donald trump. [ laughter ] white house press secretary sarah huckabee sanders said today that president trump's state of the union address tomorrow is must-watch tv. incidentally, must-watch tv is also the first thought that goes through trump's head when he wakes up in the morning. [ laughter ] "must watch tv. where is remote?" [ light laughter ] several of the tickets to the state of the union address contained a typo that misspelled union as uniom. [ light laughter ] ah, you forgot the seven, said betsy devos. [ laughter and applause ] in a new interview, president trump said that he sometimes sends tweets from bed, or at breakfast and lunch. but, to be fair, tho

meyers. >> seth: good evening, everybody. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that is fantastic to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. hundreds of thousands of women across the country, this weekend, participated in the second women's march to protest president trump's policies. and what better way to attack

meyers. >> seth: good evening, everybody. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that is fantastic to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. hundreds of thousands of women across the country, this weekend, participated in the second women's march to protest president trump's policies. and what better way to attack trump than with exercise and reading? [ light laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] the senate reached a deal this afternoon to re-open the government. though it's a little like when there's a power outage and then the lights come back on and you see how crappy your apartment is. [ laughter ] yay! oh -- right. the senate reached a deal this afternoon to re-open the government, after senate majority leader mitch mcconnell promised to take up an immigration bill that included protections for daca recipients. i don't know, is that a face you can trust? i don't even trust that to be a face. [ laughter ] it looks -- looks like bill gates tried to paint a self-portra

we're going to talk to first-time host seth meyers in a moment. but joe fryer already in place on the red carpet. hi, joe. good morning. >> reporter: hey, good morning, guys. they've already rolled out the red carpet here. come sunday, this place will be packed with stars. this year brings a new host but it also brings questions about how hollywood will handle a series of scandals. the golden globes have a certain reputation. >> good evening, peers and regular people. >> reporter: as an unpredictable show -- >> already, the teleprompter is down. >> reporter: -- that doesn't take itself too seriously. >> okay, the nominees of five of the most taninted men -- >> talented. it's talented. >> reporter: it's not all fun and games this year. many stars plan to wear black to protest sexual harassment and assault in an industry rocked by scandals. >> we've got a lot to talk about. >> reporter: a challenge for seth meyers who is hosting the globes for the first time. as for the actual awards, "the shape of water," which puts a fairy tale spin on a monster m

. >> this year's host seth meyers is already in l.a. getting ready. getting maybe a tan. no, he's focusing. >> okay. >> we've got a lot to talk about. >> reporter: even more fun awaits sunday night when he hosts the award show. >> definitely an away game versus what you do every night in your own studio. >> announcer: ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> reporter: meyers goes from late night in new york to being the emcee in front of the who's who in hollywood. >> i would be nervous if i wasn't nervous. things like this have a high level of it makes them exciting to do. sweat may one day be used to power cesmartphones. get ready to be powered by steve bannon. >> reporter: even as hollywood honors its best, it's mindful of recent headlines on predatory behavior. >> you want to address it but remind people that despite the awful stuff that was, it was a great year for film and television. >> if i told you about her, what would i say? >> reporter: the fantasy drama "the shape of water" has the most nominations. "the post" and "lady bird" have a shot at multiple wins. meyers

meyers devoted to twelve minutes most of which was devoted to that but it was really interesting that actually the need to movement has morphed into what's called time's up so that's an initiative that was literally founded just last week . of over three hundred high level women from all across hollywood so not just actresses but also producers and writers and casting agents. etc etc and they are essentially calling for a change the end of the harvey weinstein era. it was interesting that on the red carpet and also in the speeches women were very very vocal about a number of the issues that they're addressing and on the other hand the men they wore black most of them even all black but had very little to say actually sort of in terms of speaking you mentioned the host seth meyers and he had also something to say about harvey weinstein this being the first awards since those revelations let's listen to what i have to say. well i think it's time to address the elephant not in the room harvey weinstein is in here tonight but don't worry he'll be back in twenty years when he becomes the f

meyers. >> seth: good evening, everybody. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that is fantastic to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. hundreds of thousands of women across the country, this weekend, participated in the second women's march to protest president trump's policies. and what better way to attack trump than with exercise and reading?

meyers. >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] fantastic to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. senate majority leader, mitch mcconnell, is calling for an ethics investigation into accusations that senator al franken sexually assaulted a woman in 2006. because mitch mcconnell absolutely will not stand for

meyers. >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that is fantastic to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. according to a new poll, 35% of people would give president trump an overall "f" for his first year in office. or as trump tweeted it, "i have been givhe

meyers. >> seth: good evening! i'm seth meyers, this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that's fantastic. in that case, let's get to the news. the alabama special election for senate is tomorrow, and it's currently too gross to call. [ laughter ] that's right, the alabama speciaec

i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] fantastic to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. well, this weekend, we learned just how much news anchors have been dying to say shithole. [ laughter ]

i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that is great to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. press secretary sarah huckabee sanders said yesterday that the white house wants to see the russia investigation come to a complete and full conclusion. "uh, no, you don't," replied robert mueller. [ t

i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that is great to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. press secretary sarah huckabee sanders said yesterday that the white house wants to see the russia investigation come to a complete and full conclusion. "uh, no, you don't," replied robert mueller. [ light laughter ]

i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everyone doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that is fantastic to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. president trump this evening delivered his final state of the union address. [ cheers and applause ] president trump's state of the

meyers. >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that is fantastic. in that case, let's get to the news. it was reported about an hour ago that donald trump jr. carried on a 10-month-long secret correspondence with wikileaks during the presidential campaign and the months following. wow, it's go

meyers. >> seth: good evening! i'm seth meyers, this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that's fantastic. in that case, let's get to the news. the alabama special election for senate is tomorrow, and it's currently too gross to call. [ laughter ] that's right, the alabama special election for senate is

i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everyone doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that is fantastic to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. president trump this evening delivered his final state of the union address. [ cheers and applause ] president trump's state of the union address was available to

. >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers, this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that is fantastic to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. during an immigration discussion today, president trump reportedly asked lawmakers, quote, "why are we having all of these people from [ bleep ]hole countries come here?"

meyers. >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] great to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. after his visit to japan yesterday, president trump praised prime minister abe and tweeted quote "massive military and energy orders happening, plus plus plus --" what?

meyers. >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] fantastic to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. senate majority leader, mitch mcconnell, is calling for an ethics investigation into accusations that senator al franken sexually assaulted a woman in 2006. because mitch mcconnell absolutely will not stand for se

meyers. >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that is fantastic to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. according to a new poll, 35% of people would give president trump an overall "f" for his first year in office. or as trump tweeted it, "i have been given the fifth highest grade of any president in

i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] fantastic to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. president trump arrived in switzerland this morning for the world economic forum, and immediately converted his money into francs. [ laughter ] president trump tried to dispel

meyers. >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that is fantastic. in that case, let's get to the news. it was reported about an hour ago that donald trump jr. carried on a 10-month-long secret correspondence with wikileaks during the presidential campaign and the months following.

seth meyers: it's 2018. marijuana is s finally allowed d sexual harassment finally isn't. oprah: the world is watching here and nowow to know and new y is on the horizon. reporter: many winnerers expresd their pride in taking part in the ceremony. >> trust me. the women in this room tonight are not here for the food. we are here for the work. to best: in addition actress "three billboards outside evan, missouri" won best drama. " little big lies" one the best made-for-tv movie. genie: you are watching "france 24." day one of the mental macron state visit -- and's state visit to china began at the site of the ancient silk road. former chiefs strategist grambling to make amends for remarks he made in a tell-all book. steve bannon saying remarks he ury" werefire and fear h not aimed at the president son. hi, yuka. theare going to start with president in china where trade is a big topic. yuka: it is. there are a number of commercial deals on the table. they are lookiking to set up a w butteral investment fund, macron is looking to rebound is the trade deficit with china. cathe

i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that's fantastic to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. president trump yesterday bragged about his cognitive test scores, claiming that he scored the highest out of all his predecessors. for context, here is the test he is so proud he passed. [ laughter ] good job, don, you aced a denny's placemat. [ laughter and applause ] that's right. president trump claimed that he scored higher on his cognitive test than all his predecessors. psychological test could use a little work, though. "hillary clinton in prison." [ laughter ] "hillary clinton in prison. a butterfly talking to hillary clinton in prison." [ light laughter ] following several postponements, vice president mike pence will finally begin his trip to the middle east tomorrow. apparently, it took them a long time to get his face to show up in front of a white background for his passport photo. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] in a new interview, white house special counsel ty cobb said that he

. >> seth: good evening, everybody, i'm seth meyers. it's "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ]

i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] fantastic to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. president trump arrived in switzerland this morning for the world economic forum, and immediately converted his money into francs. [ laughter ]