>> seth: at a club? >> at a club, seth. at a club. [ light laughter ] he's got his little pack of cigarettes. >> seth: that's great, yeah. [ light laughter ] obviously, he had to fake his hand stamp, because he doesn't have i.d. >> right, yeah. but you know -- >> seth: that's crazy. what does he -- obviously, i don't want to blow the surprise, but does he give you a list of things he wants for his birthday? is that a big part of it now? >> well, yeah-ish. i mean, it's harder as they get older. >> seth: yeah. >> because it's -- you know, it used to be like, look, more legos! yay. [ light laughter ] now it's like i want the scooter that sparks when you ride it. and i'm like, "i think that's a fire hazard." [ light laughter ] >> seth: right. but i got you a scooter you make out of legos! [ laughter ] >> exactly. honey, how about the lego scooter from when you were five. no. it gets increasingly difficult. >> seth: it's very exciting that you're on this season of "smilf." we can tell from the clip this is sort of a different ch

seth: yeah. >> it's pure creativity. >> seth: and you do have a lot of control when you're not doing it as a television show. when you actually just go out in front of an audience, it must just feel so freeing. >> yeah, it's fun because we call it punk vaudeville sometimes, because there's no way to make up our own category. but, we get out there and the songs -- the songs are really sharp. and then it all just falls to pieces in between. >> seth: uh-huh. >> you know? >> seth: that's great. yeah. >> we're like, "what -- now what do we do?" [ laughter ] we don't have anything planned. yeah. >> seth: that's great. >> it's great. >> seth: you just went through the awards circuit, you were at the golden globes. did you have a good time at the globes? >> i did. >> seth: did you get to bump into people that you were excited to see? >> i did. i've got the secret. so if you're -- if you're ever going to present the golden globes, and i'm sure most of you will. [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah. >> go -- just ha

e [ cheers and appla ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ eers and applause ] that's great to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. former starbks ceo howard schultz tweeted yesterday that he is consideringng for president. when asked if he's a democrat ou a ican, he said half and half. [ laughter ] that's right, former starbucks ceo howard schultz is seriouslyr consg running for president in 2020. first, he just has to find someonto keep an eye on his laptop. [ laughter and applause ] we chased it, you guys. [ laughter ] e. had our half and half j we could have got out of there. [ light laughter ] pushed it a little with laptop. i stand by it. [ light laughter ] former trump adviser, roger stone, was indicted on friday in special counsel robertueller's russia investigation and charged with seven counts, including witness tampering, making false st ements and impersonating the owner of a candy factory. [ laughter ] former -- [ cheers and applause ] please, if you applaud every joke

meyers. >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] fantastic to hear. he that case, let's get to news. president trump misspelled the word "hamburgers" in a tweet this morning. [ light laughter ] and sure, it's easy to make fun of trump for misspelling a word. so here goes. [ laughter ] normally, i would wonder if you didn't know how to spell it, ora if you jus a typo, but this one is so bad -- [ light laughter ] i think it's both. [ laughter ] i think you don't know how to spell it, and then you made a typo -- [ laughter ] off the wrong elling in your ad. [ light laughter ] i think you looked at thatnd afterwardshought, "oh, man, that's supposed to have two ds in it. [ laughter ] i'm so emblaranced." [ light laughter ]is also, look at art. of course you paid! [ laughter ] were you considering asking clemson to go dutch? [ laughter ] "okay, let's see. 1,000 hamberders between 80 people. i brought the weird candle so probably owe a littl. [ laughter ] you kno

[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that is wonderful to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. president trump announced yesterday that he will postpone his state of the union address due to the government shutdown. oh, yeah, i'm sure it had everything to do with the shutdown and nothing to do with the fact that you'd have to write a speech. [ laughter ] trump's like the kid in class who stages a walkout for better teacher conditions. you don't care about them. [ laughter ] today was the 34th day of the government shutdown, or as fox news is reporting, how come we never see alexandria ocasio cortez and i.s.i.s. in the same room? [ laughter ] according to a new poll, 60% of americans hold president trump responsible for the ongoing government shutdown, while others don't hold him at all. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] commerce secretary wilbur ross said today that he doesn't understand why federal workers are having to go to food ban

. >> seth: fine. >> seth? >> seth: yes, andy. >> i'm sorry that i've been selling nude pictures of you on the internet. >> seth: what? >> yeah, man, i've sold hundreds of them. >> seth: how did you get nude photos of me? >> oh, i didn't say photos. i said pictures. i draw nude pictures of you and sell them on the internet. do you want to see one? >> seth: i guess. [ laughter ] [ applause ] andy, i've got to say, that doesn't look anything like me. >> oh, right. this one is of me. [ laughter ] pretty big hog, though, right? [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah, i guess the crayon drawing you did of yourself does have a pretty big hog. [ laughter ] >> thank you. okay, but here's one of you. [ laughter ] it's got a little dinky hog. do you know what i mean, seth? >> seth: yeah. >> the hog's dinky. [ laughter ] because yours is little. >> seth: i get it! [ laughter ] andy? you are forgiven. [ chimes ] [ applause ] my turn. andy? >> yes, seth. >> seth: this one is actually pretty bad. >> are you being serious right now? >> s

. >> seth: seth. >> oh, my god! [ laughter ] seth! oh. yeah, seth. >> i mean, you know. it was the globes and it's a big deal. you wouldn't understand.>> eth: no, yeah, i hosted it last year. [ light laughter ] >> i thought she did. >>eah, you were great! >> thank you! e' yeah. >> anyway, andy, see you at the after party. >> seth: wait, this show has an after party?et >> oh, you wouldn't like it. it's just a bunch of people you know and work with. >> yeah, i think it's caelled. >> yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. it's cancelled. >> yeah. light laughter ] >> i'll see you at the cancelled after party. >> seth: all r fht. give it these awful, awful women! [ cheers and applause ] just kidding. love you guys! >> bye, my three new best friends! >> seth: you -- you actually -- again, i don't thinkeople fully appreciate how many jokes you generate and then have the jokes you do for the globe you have some you chose not to do that you would like to read now. >> yes, i mean, only because there's so littltime, and you've got to choose wisely.h: >> seah, you don't get a lot of time. >> but t

>> seth: uh-huh. >> like this. >> seth: great. >> okay, go. >> seth: yeah. i got it. >> okay. >> seth: ow! >> be careful of your fingertips. >> seth: oh, i almost got -- i really almost cut my finger off. >> be really careful. [ laughter ] okay. we're going to steam it. we're going to do, four, five slices. and the great thing about this, you see you have, like -- [ laughter ] yeah. >> seth: uh-huh. >> see, very simple. >> seth: yeah, very simple. >> so one piece is -- >> seth: okay. >> -- is giving you a whole -- look at that. >> seth: look at that. look at that. >> so it's really economical, right? >> seth: yeah. >> okay, so we're going to steam it. >> seth: i mean, i knew it would -- this was how it was going to go. >> you did that? >> seth: yeah. >> okay. so we're going to steam this slate and we're going to lay it down here. >> seth: okay. >> i've done it for you so you don't have to do anything else. [ laughter ] >> seth: i feel like you had no faith that i was going to be able to mandoline it. >> i -- >> seth: or you were like, "you were going to be a

. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late nighbo" how is eve doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] fantastic to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. house speaker nancy pelosi today sent a letter to president trump requesting he that delay the state of the union address. a at the very least remember to address this uni not the soviet one. [ laughter ] it's very sad what happened. ukraine, gone! estonia, gone! president trump today tweeted about border walls and claimed, quote, "over 800 miles of walls have been built in europe since only 2015." cool. we could have had the rst female president in american history, but instead we elected a snapple cap. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i am made from the best stuff on earth. former new jery governor chris christie is releasing a memoir later this month titled "let me finish." oh, you haven't seen your approval ratings lately! [ laughter ] you're finished. [ cheers and applause ] according to amazon, michelle obama's recent memoir, "becoming," has had e l

. >> seth: on nbc.la [ cheers and ae ] >> what kind of >> seth: the good kind. >> good. >> seth: the good kind. >> it's very good. >> seth: we -- wel happened was "brooklyn nine-nine" was a show that we loved. i did not realize you loved it as much as i did. it was canceled by fox. >> indeed. >> seth: we tweeted about it. we were upset.>> e were very angry tweeters. >> seth: very angry about it. >> self-righteous. >> seth: a few people put together -- aggregated some of the angry tweets we were also joined by sean astin. >> yes. >> seth: mark hamill. >> guillermo del toro. >> seth: guillermo dan toro. then the show got picked up by nbc. >> 24 hours later. >> seth: 24 hours lar! [ cheers and applause ] and -- >> and we choo to take all the edit. >> seth: and so -- but then you started -- we are in a twitter group right now with those- >> it's true. we started a group chat. >> seth: we started a group chat. [ laashter ] an reward to everybody, i saw samberg and got a picture i sent to you guys. he was so happy to see you all. l see, it says mark hamilus three. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter

[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> s >> seth: woo! >> seth! >> seth: woo! [ cheers and applause ] >> seth, i brought -- i broughto you a morom puerto rico. >> seth: wow. [ laughter ] >> yes. all the way.he >> seth:up -- the cup says chili's on it. >> i got it -- [ laughter ] i got it at the airport. >> seth: it doesn't ma yeah. so how was your weekend? what can you tell us about the show? >> it is -- unbelievable. so much fun. we love puerto rico.it i can't or you guys to see it. we have lin-manuel miranda. we have a special performance fromhe cast of "hamilton." we have a song with bad bunny. that's so --pp [ cheers anduse ] unbelievable. through old san juan, it's beautiful. chef jose andres. h we talked . he is a saint, that guy. jose feliciano and ozuna do a special duet. [ cheers and applause ] and i almost die on a zip line. seth: you almost die on a zip line. [ laughter ] >> it is -- it's insane. there's lots of fun surprises.re ly can't wait for you guys to see it. it's special. >> seth: so it sounds like it's gonna be a fantastic show. >> it'great.

la seth: yeah. hter ] >> who like -- >> seth: right. >> yeah. >> seth: yeah. that's true. once you -- i mean, i'm 44. and no one's like, "you're very ."art for [ laughter >> totally. we should -- we should start that. >> seth: i know. b there has more of just like, what do we expect at every age so people can just try to be a little bit better? >> just exceed it. >> seth: yeah. >> yeah. >> seth: wow! ten pushups. [ laughter ] you would not know you're 44 from those 10 pushups. [ laughter ] i want to also ask, been very vocal about the time's up movement. and i want to -- i hi read som really interesting about how you reached out. and i think there was a lot of people last year around this time reaching out to one another in the community, in the entertainment communit and brie larson said that when you reached out, she kind of realized she didn't have a lot of peers that she was friends with. was that something you found as well that because how hollywood works anhow casts work, that you just have less interaction with -- >> yeah. w >> seth: who yld consider your peers? >>

>> seth: good evening! i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight?h rs and applause ] that is fantastic to hear. in that case, let's wst to the ne. president trump is preparing to give his state of the union address one week from today. all he needs is a verb, an adjective, and a plural noun. [ laughter ] that's right, president trump is expected tgive his state of the union address one week from today. so step aside "this is us," there's a new reason to cry on tuesday! [ laughter ] president trump tweeted this morning that crime wl go down by record numbers if his border wall is built. but only if we build it with him on the other side. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] "what are you guys doing over there?t [ liughter ] they're not a huge fan of me on this side." [ laughter ] according to an upcoming book written by a former trde, president trump is very fixated on chyrons, which are the words on the lower third portion of the screen that are n cable news. wait a minute. so an

. >> seth: >> seth? >> seth: yes, andy. >> i'm sorry that i've been selling nude pictures of you on the internet. >> seth: what? >> yeah, man, i've sold hundreds of them. >> seth: how did you get nude photos of me? >> oh, i didn't say photos. i said pictures.aw i ude pictures of you and sell them on the internet. do you want to see one? >> seth: i guess. [ laughter ] [ applause ] andy, i've got to say, that doesn't look anything like me. >> oh, right this one is of me. [ laughter ] pretty big hog, though, right? [ laughter ] >> seth: yeah, i guess the crayon drawing you did of yourself does have a pretty big hog. [ laughter ]ha >> t you. okay, but here's one of you. [ laughter ] it's got a little dinky hog. do you know what i mean,eth? >> seth: yeah. >> the hog's dinky. [ laughter ]is because yourittle. >> seth: i get it! [ laughter ] dy? you are forgiven. [ chimes ] [ applause ] my turn. andy? >> yes, se. >> seth: this one is actually pretty bad. >> are you being seriousight now? >> seth: definitely. do

. >> seth: got it. >> so i had to rewrite that. >> seth: yeah. >> to write it -- >> seth: you had to rewrite in a way where you weren't culpable. >> right. >> seth: yeah. >> exactly, yeah. [ laughter ] yeah. it actually worked out really well -- >> seth: yeah. >> for the grit of it all. >> seth: yeah, of course. >> so -- >> seth: yeah, i mean, i think when you -- obviously, when you're making a doll soap opera, you need things to happen. >> you need -- you need the drama. >> seth: yeah. >> and i wanted people to know, this is real life. this -- [ laughter ] you know, people lose their arms. >> seth: yeah. because that's the thing about dolls. they live such sheltered existences. >> they do. plastic if you will. >> seth: they could go their whole life and they don't even leave the house. >> with two arms. >> seth: yeah, exactly. >> they have two arms their whole lives. and then every other doll is like, "oh, i'm always going to have two arms." and that's not the case. >> seth: yeah. [ light laughter ] and so if anything, it was a cautionary tale for the other -- and i think that you'v

♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening, everybody. i'm seth meyers. and this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] great to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. president trump misspelled the word "border" today when tweeting about border security. now, i don't want to get on trump about every misspelling. but come on, i underhow you but --sspell melania. [ laughter ] the wall is thactual love of ur life. [ laughter ] president trump tweeted on friday that his budget director will replace john kelly and become acting white houschief of staff, adding, quote, "mick m will do a great job." oh, . thinks it's mickey mouse, doesn't he? [ laughter ] oh, no. "looking forward to working wit. my childhood h [ laughter ] steamboat willie, that's wllt we used to im." [ light laughter ] in an inrview yesterday when asked if president trump would potentially sit down with special counsel robert mueller, rudy giuliani responded, quote, "over my dead body." okay, so how's two wks ago? [ light laughter ] presid

[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth! >> seth: woo! >> seth! >> seth: woo! [ cheers and applause ] >> seth, i brought -- i brought you a mojito from puerto rico. >> seth: wow. [ laughter ] >> yes. all the way. >> seth: the cup -- the cup says chili's on it. >> i got it -- [ laughter ] i got it at the airport. >> seth: it doesn't matter, yeah. so how was your weekend? what can you tell us about the show? >> it is -- unbelievable. so much fun. we love puerto rico. i can't wait for you guys to see it. we have lin-manuel miranda. we have a special performance from the cast of "hamilton." we have a song with bad bunny. that's so -- [ cheers and applause ] unbelievable. through old san juan, it's beautiful. chef jose andres. we talked to him. he is a saint, that guy. jose feliciano and ozuna do a special duet. [ cheers and applause ] and i almost die on a zip line. >> seth: you almost die on a zip line. [ laughter ] >> it is -- it's insane. there's lots of fun surprises. i really can't wait for you guys to see it. it's special. >> seth: so it sounds like it's gonn

>> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] fantastic to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. senator kamala harris announced today she will run for president in 2020. i wish her luck, but i don't know. is america really ready for a president? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] president -- i'm just saying, pump the breaks. president trump and vice president mike pence made an unannounced visit to the martin luther king, jr. memorial today. so i guess my question is, unannounced? how scared of black people do you have to be to sneak up on them after they're dead? [ laughter and applause ] according to the white house press pool, president trump spent approximately two minutes at the martin luther king, jr. memorial today before returning to the white house. and it's not a good lock when you give martin luther king the same amount of time you gave stormy daniels. [ audience ohs ] [ cheers and applause ] yesterday was the two-year anniversary of

>> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night."ry how is edy doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ]to fantastiear.ha in tt case, let's get to the news.ka senatola harris announced today she will run for president in 2020. i wish her luck, but i don't know. is america really ready for a president? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] president -- i'm just saying, pum breaks. president trump and vice president mike pence made d an unannouisit to the martin luther king, jr. memorial tiday. so i guess my qu is, unannounced? how scared of black people do you have to be to sneak up on them after they're dea [ laughter and applause ] according to the white house press pool, president trump spent approximately two minutes at theartin luther king, jr. memorial today before returning to the white house. and it's not a good lon you give martin luther king the same amount of time you gave stormy daniels. [ audience ohs ] [ cheers and applause ] yesterday was the two-year anniveary of president trump's inauguration. said t

. >> seth: okay. >> and '87 was a tough year -- >> seth: yeah. >> growing up in new england. >> seth: yeah. >> patriots just got their ass kicked in the super bowl. >> seth: that's right. >> by the chicago bears. >> seth: not even close. >> yeah, i don't know if anyone remembers the 1986 world series. >> seth: yeah, that was -- >> but that was a tough time for the boston red sox. [ scattered applause ] don't, don't -- >> seth: why are you -- what are you doing? >> what, a mets fan? [ laughter ] let a mets fan sneak in here? >> seth: sorry, we have -- >> tore my heart out! [ laughter ] >> seth: that was the worst for me ever, the '86 world series. >> because you're a red sox fan. >> seth: yeah, i'm a red sox fan. >> i have since denounced my fandom. i am a gypsy -- i'm a gypsy fan. >> seth: you are a gypsy fan. >> yes, i go with the winning teams. i like the winning teams. >> seth: see, i hung on until 2004 and that was my sweet release. now i just care less, because it let -- it let me free. >> yes. yes, but '86 was tough. '86 was tough. >> seth: '86 was tough. >> yes. >> seth: and yo

. >> seth: you did? >> yeah, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: is at your -- >> look at those yams. >> seth: is that -- is that a first time tattoo? >> no. i gea tattoo for every big long series that i do. >> seth: yeah. >> on "how i met your mother" i t the picture of the mother. tattooed on my scalp. >> seth: oh, so if you ever shaved your head. oh, that's the mother. >> yeah, for "dr. horrible," i had captain hammer tattooed on the length of my dong. >> seth: i heard about that. i did hear about that. let's transition to your children. [ laughter ] >> please. >> seth: you have -- your twins are eight years old. >> eight years old. >> seth: have they read the books? >> they read -- we read togetheo the firs, because i was doing it. but they've seen the series. the books are a little darker in tone. daniel handler, the writer, intentionally wanted them to be more "grimm's fairy tale" than disney fairy tale. so, i think for a long-winded book they should be a little bit older. obably choosing it the

. >> seth: unpolished. >> unpolished is okay. >> seth: gritty. >> gritty. t i'll go wit. >> seth: always disheveled. [ laughter ] radiates rumpledness. >> no, you made that one up. >> seth: no, it's real. >> nobody ever wrote -- i don'tr radiate, of all. called you mr. uncharisma. s in an article that was positive. >> well, i -- you know, you're not -- dond trump, charisma, you're looking for something different.ea >> seth: that's true. that is the counter balance. >> i operate under this. if i start to look -- if my hair starts to look worse than bernie sanrs, it's time for a haircut. [ laughter ] and so, i just kind of figured that. [ applause >> seth: well, you did -- [ applause ] i want to -- your hair ss actualh a local story. >> you said this was going to be a substantive discussion, right? >> seth: we're going to be us substantive dion. we're gonna be substantive. [ laughter ] but i do want to point out that you recently did get a haircut. >> i -- >> seth: and then it was ported on by the a.p., t columbus dispatch in cleveland.com. it was a big deal.

[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth! >> seth: woo! >> seth! >> seth: woo! -cheers and applause ] >> seth, i brougi brought you a mojito from puerto rico. >> seth: wow. [ laughter ] >> yes. all the way. >> seth: the cup -- the cup says chili's on it. >> i got it -- [ laughter ] a i got the airport. >> seth: it doesn't matter, yeah. so how was your weekend? what can you tell us about the show? >> it is -- unbelievable. so much fun. we love puerto rico. i can't wait for you guys to see it. we have lin-manuel miranda. we have a special pence from the cast of "hamilton." we have a song with bad bunny. that's so -- [ cheers and applause ] unbelievable. through old san juan, it's beautiful.os chefandres. we talked to him. he is a saint, that guy. a jose felicia ozuna do a special duet. [ cheers and applause ] and i almost die on a zip line. >> seth: you almost die on a zip line [ laughter ] >> it is -- it's insane. there's lots of fun surprises. i really can't wait for you guys to see it. it's special.ou >> seth: so its like it's gonna be a fantastic show. >> it's

> seth: yeah. [ light laughter ] >> i mean the lighting. >> seth: the difference between nighttime and daytime. >> yeah, i guess that's what it is. >> seth: they have darker senses of humor. things at them. >> seth: rightwas big part of it. >> that was. >> seth: yeah. >> i think that was my success, mostly. [ laughter ] the koosh balls. >> seth: i hope you got some of that koosh money. did you ever get a kickback? >> i never did, no. >> seth: not a single -- >> not from anything. >> seth: wow. >> remember "tickle me elmo," that craze? >> seth: yeah, you were a huge part of that. >> i was credited with that and i got zippo. >> seth: zippo. >> yeah. >> seth: do you at least still talk to elmo at all? >> well, after that horrible elmo scandal, remember? >> seth: don't bring that up. >> oh geez, how can you not? it's all i think of now. [ laughter ] >> seth: well that's all i would have think of, too. >> yeah. >> seth: yeah. for those -- google it. it's a great -- >> it's not a good story. >> seth: it'

. >> seth: you did? >> yeah, yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: is that your -- >> look at those yams. >> seth: is that -- is that a first time tattoo? >> no. i get a tattoo for every big long series that i do. >> seth: yeah. >> on "how i met your mother" i got the picture of the mother. tattooed on my scalp. >> seth: oh, so if you ever shaved your head. oh, that's the mother. >> yeah, for "dr. horrible," i had captain hammer tattooed on the length of my dong. >> seth: i heard about that. i did hear about that. let's transition to your children. [ laughter ] >> please. >> seth: you have -- your twins are eight years old. >> eight years old. >> seth: have they read the books? >> they read -- we read together the first book, because i was doing it. but they've seen the series. the books are a little darker in tone. daniel handler, the writer, intentionally wanted them to be more "grimm's fairy tale" than disney fairy tale. so, i think for a long-winded book they should be a little bit older. probably c

>> seth: wow. this really -- this has legs. >> i think it does not. >> seth: it does you just to wear that into the ring. >> okay, fair enough. >> seth: that's goine very uncomfortable. >> yes it will. >> seth: you have four brothers? >> i do. o -- and you're all pretty close in age? >> yeah, yeah. so oldest is 45, and then i'm 41. and it goes 41, 40, 38, 36. >> seth: okay, and now, is that close enough that you guys were l wailing on each other? >> oh, yeah. and not one person was definitively winning. >> seth: oh, gotcha. >> yes, , like, any given day, it was a coinflip. because anything was game. i've bn chased with a chain saw, with kitchen knives. [ light laughter ] set on fire. there was an incident with a hive of bees. we tend not to talk about that. >> seth: wow! >> mustait was involved. as weird. [ laughter ] saah, so that's life growing up in west newbury, musetts. >> seth: you had an actual -- you guys built a wrestling ring in your basement? >> yes, so to like corral us a frually not mu

seth: do wall! everybody's like -- >> together: do wall! >> wall wall!. >> but now, like -- now the government is literally shut down over that. >> seth: right. >> there are people who are about to miss second, maybe a third paycheck over the holiday break when people expenses are incredibly high. there are -- the federal courts run out of money on january 11th. s.n.a.p. could be impacted. tsa people are calling in sick in the nation's airports, all of that because of this shtick. because of the shtick. >> seth: everything you mentioned -- those are very serious. those are very real. none of that he can see. nothing -- >> no. >> seth: he would -- i bet argue that the government is running fine, because he works for the government and he gets to go to work every day. and the microwave still works. everything is fine. [ laughter ] >> the cable news. the tv. the tv. >> seth: so do you think -- do you think it's getting through to him exactly how serious this is? >> no, i don't think it is. and i think

♪ch rs and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening. i'm seth maters. this is night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that is fantastic to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. president trump tweeted today, quote, "because of the democrats' intransigen border secur --" wait, wait, i'm sorry.y there is no ump typed the word, "intransigence." [ laughter ] either someone wrote that tweet m, or that's autocorrected from ice cream cake. [ laught ] president trump today denied knowinthat his former campaign chair paul manafort shared po ing data in 2016 with a russian-linked associate. said tru have to say it?kn do i i don' things." [ laughter ] former representative o beourke today posted videos from his dental cleaning on instagram. [ laughter ] not to be outdone, president trump posted a photo of his. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] during president trump's bipartisan meeting with congressional leaders yesterday, trump reportedly offed house speaker nancy pelosi and senate minority leader chuck schumer m&m's, skittles, bu

>> seth: yeah. >> and i enjoy -- like, i take people's orders and i do, you know -- i love doing the thing, the little computer, ding, ding, ding. [ light laughter ] i'm very -- i actually use my -- well, knowing this, to cover up my bad bartending. >> seth: gotcha. >> people say stuff like, "oh, can i have a tequila sunrise?" and i say, how about a tequila soda. [ laughter ] "can i have an old fashioned?" i'm like, "how about a vodka soda? what would that be like?" [ laughter ] i just can't -- i don't pretend that i'm -- i don't want to. >> seth: oh, yeah. >> and also it's better to have a soda drink -- you don't want any of those sugary, yucky things. >> seth: no. and i will say, no matter how much you want an old fashioned, you don't want one made by somebody who doesn't know how to do it. >> mine would be terrible. i once gave someone instead of a jack and coke, because the gun thing -- it's got "c" -- >> seth: yeah. >> i was maybe had been drinking myself, because the cranberry is cranberry col

meyers. >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is erybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] great to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. president trump's former lawyer michael cohen was sentenced to three years in prison today for his role in making hush payments to president trump's alleged mistresses and other crimes. three years is a lot, but remember, trump's closest associate got fe. [ laughter and applause ] that's right, a judge today sentenced president trump's ex-lawyer michael cohen to three years in prison. just a tip michael, on your first day in p the biggest guy in the yard and say, "remember me?s i ur lawyer." [ laughter ]nd [ cheerspplause ] a judge -- a judge has ordered that adult film star stormy daniels must pay president ump almost $300,000 in attorney's fees after her defamation lawsuit was dismissed. wow. to come up with that kind of money she's going to have to th sleep im 2 1/2 more times. [ laughter and applause ] madame tussaud's wax museum in berlin has unveiled wa

meyers. >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] fantastic to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. president trump misspelled the word "hamburgers" in a tweet this morning. [ light laughter ] and sure, it's easy to make fun of trump for misspelling a word. so here goes. [ laughter ] normally, i would wonder if you didn't know how to spell it, or if you just made a typo, but this one is so bad -- [ light laughter ] i think it's both. [ laughter ] i think you don't know how to spell it, and then you made a typo -- [ laughter ] off the wrong spelling in your head. [ light laughter ] i think you looked at that afterwards and thought, "oh, man, that's supposed to have two ds in it. [ laughter ] i'm so emblaranced." [ light laughter ] also, look at this part. of course you paid! [ laughter ] were you considering asking clemson to go dutch? [ laughter ] "okay, let's see. 1,000 hamberders between 80 people. i brought the weird candle so probably owe a little

. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] fantastic to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. house speaker nancy pelosi today sent a letter to president trump requesting he that delay the state of the union address. or at the very least remember to address this union and not the soviet one. [ laughter ] it's very sad what happened. ukraine, gone! estonia, gone! president trump today tweeted about border walls and claimed, quote, "over 800 miles of walls have been built in europe since only 2015." cool. we could have had the first female president in american history, but instead we elected a snapple cap. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] i am made from the best stuff on earth. former new jersey governor chris christie is releasing a memoir later this month titled "let me finish." oh, you haven't seen your approval ratings lately! [ laughter ] you're finished. [ cheers and applause ] according to amazon, michelle obama's recent memoir, "becom

seth: and h is that? how was being -- were you there? >> i was there, yes. i flew right i she told me she was in labor in wisconsin where she lives. my daughter, chels, she's 21. i and i flthere. i just missed the birth, but was there right after. and there s something really, really beautiful. it's very trite, it's what everyone says when you grandparent, like it's -- a baby times a million. and that's what it felt like, you know and she was sleeping. she was tired. she had been in labor and i wast otally pretending. you know, this could be mommy's. [ laughter ] you know? but she's -- you know, there's something about adopted childrentoo. growing up as an adopted kid, and i've read a lot of books and talked to my own children. you never see someonlooks like you, right? so for chelsea, it was very emotional to look at this baby that looks exactly like she did as a baby. only with black hair instead of blonde hair. >> seth: that's really wonderful. >> and how she stepped into being a mom. you know, you get

done. >> seth: okay. >> you got to win, seth. lo at your cards. seth: okay. >> you're going to decide what card you want. >> seth: okay. >> you got two cards to choose from here. you got a nine of hearts. king of spades. which do you want? >> seth: i'm going to take the nine of hearts. >> you sure? >> seth: yes. >> you had a choice now that every card that went there. >> seth: i had a choice. >> all you got to do is win. what does that -- what did you end up with there? >> seth: i have a very strong hand. have a full house. >> oh. nines back with aces. [ audience oohs ] >>eth: yeah. there's no way. okay. we'll be -- teller doesn't even -- yeah, he doesn't have two that match. >> seth: okay. >> they're all different. it's just a royal flush. e laughter ] [ cheers and appla we'll be -- we'll be in vegas but probably at the davi copperfield theater. >> seth: give it up for penn & teller, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] performing at the rio, las vegas through 2022 we'll be right back with music from guster. [ cheers and applause

meyers. >> seth: good evening! i'm seth meyers. this is "late night," everybody. how are you doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that's great to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. president trump pushed for his border wall on twitter this morning by repeatedly posting the phrase, "build a wall and crime will fall." [ laughter ] that's great and everything, but you will probably be impeached before they could ever finish a wall, so maybe leave the fence for president pence? [ laughter ] [ applause ] president trump -- president trump this morning introduced a new slogan for his border wall, saying "build a wall and crime will fall," adding, quote, "use it and pray." which coincidentally was the slogan for his short-lived trump brand condoms. [ laughter and applause ] "50% effective. [ laughter ] it's a coin flip." [ laughter ] speaker nancy pelosi sent a letter to the white house today saying she will not allow president trump to deliver the state of the union address next week if the government is still

>> seth: the good kind. >> good. >> seth: the good kind. >> it's very good. >> seth: we -- well, what happened was "brooklyn nine-nine" was a show that we loved. i did not realize you loved it as much as i did. it was canceled by fox. >> indeed. >> seth: we tweeted about it. we were upset. >> we were very angry tweeters. >> seth: very angry about it. >> self-righteous. >> seth: a few people put together -- aggregated some of the angry tweets. we were also joined by sean astin. >> yes. >> seth: mark hamill. >> guillermo del toro. >> seth: guillermo del toro. and then the show got picked up by nbc. >> 24 hours later. >> seth: 24 hours later! [ cheers and applause ] and -- >> and we choose to take all the credit. >> seth: and so -- but then you started -- we are in a twitter group right now with those -- >> it's true. we started a group chat. >> seth: we started a group chat. [ laughter ] and as a reward to everybody, i saw samberg and got a picture i sent to you guys. he was so happy to see you all. >> see, it says mark hamill plus three. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> that's the rest o

[ cheers and applause ] >> seth: good evening, i'm seth maters. this is night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that is wonderful to hea in that case, let's get to the news. president trumyeannounced erday that he will postpone his state of the union address due to the government shutdown. oh, yeah, i'm sure it had everything to do with the shutdown and nothing to do with the fact that you'd have to . write a spee [ laughter ] trump's like who stages a walkout for better teacher conditions. you don't care about them. [ laughter ] today was the 34th day of the govement shutdown, or as fox news is reporting, how come we never see alexandria ocasio cortez and i.s.i.s. in the same room? [ laughter ] according to a new polam 60% of icans hold president trump responsible for the ongoing government shutdown, while others don't hold him at all. e laughter ] [ cheers and appla commerce secretary wilbur ross said today that he doesn't understand why federal workers are having to go to food banks and suggested that they instead take o

meyers. >> seth: good evening! i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] in that case, let's get to the news. president trump today quoted fox news while defending himself from the russia investigation, saying, "democrats can't find a smocking gun tying the trump campaign to russia after james comey's testimony. no smocking gun. [ laughter ] no collusion." now, i know what you're going to say. are you going to mock him just for a typo? no. i'm going to moke him. [ laughter ] also -- that's not a typo. once is a typo. [ laughter ] twice means you think that's how it's spelled. and if that's the case, i'm gonna pock fun at you. [ laughter ] president trump attended the army-navy football game this weekend in philadelphia, and performed the coin toss before the game. let's see how that looked. [ laughter ] >> seth: all right. it's official. he's not good at anything. [ laughter ] one more time. let's see it one more time. [ light laughter ] >> seth: that looked less

meyers. >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] great to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. president trump's former lawyer michael cohen was sentenced to three years in prison today for his role in making hush payments to president trump's alleged mistresses and other crimes. three years is a lot, but remember, trump's closest associate got life. [ laughter and applause ] that's right, a judge today sentenced president trump's ex-lawyer michael cohen to three years in prison. just a tip michael, on your first day in prison, walk up to the biggest guy in the yard and say, "remember me? i was your lawyer." [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] a judge -- a judge has ordered that adult film star stormy daniels must pay president trump almost $300,000 in attorney's fees after her defamation lawsuit was dismissed. wow. to come up with that kind of money she's going to have to sleep with him 2 1/2 more times. [ laughter and applause ] madame tussaud's w

>> just exceed it. >> seth: yeah. >> yeah. >> seth: wow! ten pushups. [ laughter ] you would not know you're 44 from those 10 pushups. [ laughter ] i want to also ask, you've been very vocal about the time's up movement. and i want to -- i read something really interesting about how you reached out. and i think there was a lot of people last year around this time reaching out to one another in the community, in the entertainment community. and brie larson said that when you reached out, she kind of realized she didn't have a lot of peers that she was friends with. was that something you found as well that because how hollywood works and how casts work, that you just have less interaction with -- >> yeah. >> seth: who you would consider your peers? >> yeah. it's this weird thing where there there's usually a girl in the movie. it's like the smurfette syndrome where it's all guys. and then there's a girl in the movie, you know? and so we rarely get the chance to work together. and so it was this weird thing where we had kind of seen each othe

. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening, i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] that is fantastic to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. during an interview with cnn yesterday, rudy giuliani said that he never denied that president trump's campaign colluded with the russian government. in the lead-up to the 2016 election. and then today, he said he never did an interview on cnn. [ laughter ] president trump misspelled the word "country" in a tweet this morning. [ laughter ] so if you're keeping track, he's now lost moderates, whites without college degrees, women voters and autocorrect. [ laughter ] that's right, president trump misspelled the word "country" in a tweet this morning which wouldn't be the first time that president trump messed up a country. [ laughter ] the owner -- [ cheers and applause ] "coun-try. [ laughter ] i'm coun-trying." [ laughter ] the owner of an i.t. firm is claiming president trump's former lawyer michael cohen failed to give him the $50,000 he was p

seth: do wall! everybody's like -- >> together: do wall! >> wall wall!. >> but now, like -- now the government is literally shut wn ver that. >> seth: right. >> there are people who are about to miss second, maybe a third paycheck over the holiday break when people expenses are incredibly high. there are -- the federal courts run out of money on january 11th. s.n.a.p. could be impacted. tsa people are calling in sick in the nation's airports, all of that because of this shtick. because of the shtick. >> seth: everything you mentioned -- those are very rious. those are very real. none of that he can see. nothing -- >> no. >> seth: he would -- i bet argue that the government is running w fine, because ks for the government and he gets to go to work every day. and the microwave still works. everything is fine. [ laughter ] >> the cable news. the tv. the tv. >> seth: so do you think -- do you think it's getting through to him exactly how serious this is? >> no, i don't think it is. and i think -- we, so

>> seth: >> yeah. >> seth: that's just great. and then you hosted and you were wonderful at the sag awards. >> oh, t you.s very nice of i had a lot of fun. >> seth: did you enjoy that? >> i did. i had, you know, great -- everybody was great, and had a lot of fun and, you know, cute clothes and -- >> seth: yeah. >> i don't know. >> seth: you got to -- [ light laughter ] you sort of madeun of some people, emma stone, lady gaga. fun making fun of. >> i meabut cute in a nice way. >> seth: yes. >> because i don't want to do anything mean-spirited. >> seth: but did you run into anybody backstage? >> i said that lady gaga did my eyeliner, that she had been doing my eyeliner for the last 15 years. that she just -- she just can do anything, was the gist. and so i went back -- i got backstage, like, rht after my -- the monologue and she was standing there and she was liket "oh, my got was so great. you're so funny." and blah blah blah. and she was super nice. like, really normal nice and i was like, "oh, good, thank you.me , you know, you'

meyers. >> seth: good evening! i'm seth meyers. th is "late night." how is everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] in that case, let's get to the news. president trump today quoted fox news while defending himself from the russia investigation, saying, "democrats can't find a smocking gun tying the trump campaign to russia after james comey's testimony. no smocking gun. [ laughter ] no collusion." now, i know what you're going to y. are you going to mock him just for a typo? no. i'm going to moke him. [ laughter ] also -- that's not a typo. once is a typo. [ laughter ] twice means you think that's how it's spelled. and if that's the case, i'm gonna pock fun at you. [ laughter ] president trump attended the army-navy football ge this weekend in philadelphia, and performed the coin toss before the game. let's see how that looked. [ laughter ]ll >> seth:ight. it's official. he's not good at anything. [ laughter ] one more time. let's see it one more ti. [ light laughter ] >> seth: that looked less like a coin

. >> jimmy: i think seth gave it to you. >> seth gave it to me. yeah, it was really sweet. >> jimmy: so, i was like, i know him and i know him. >> and then i start crying. i'm like, where's sandra oh? i love you too. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you just did a thing called -- a pbs show. >> jmy: you did it., did you do >> did you enjoy it? >> questlove: yes, i enjoyed it. [ laughter ] >> cool. definitely keep that exchange. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you didn't have to yell that loud either. >> i know -- i know it's like rude to come in and call shots and stuff. let's get a close on quest. and then -- sorry. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: so he did -- he did "finding your roots" on pbs. >> yeah. >> jimmy: did you find? >> questlove: i found my roots. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] >> questlove: yes. >> jimmy: and they're right next to you. yeah. they were right there the whole time. [ laughter ] what did you -- any secrets or anything that you found out? >> questlove: i found out where in africa my great, great, great grandfather came from. >> jimmy: wow. did you hav

. >> jimmy: i think seth gave it to you. >> seth gave it to me. yeah, it was really sweet. >> jim know him and i know him. >> and then i start crying. i'm like, where's sandra oh? i love you too. [ laughter ] ng jimmy: you just did a t called -- a pbs show. that i think, quest, did you do this sho "finding your roots"? >> questlove: yeah. >> jimmy: you did it. >> did you enjoy it?lo >> que: yes, i enjoyed it. [ laughter ] >> cool. definitely keep that exchange.er [ laug >> jimmy: you didn't have to itll that loud either. >> i know -- i kno like rude to come in and call shots and stuff. let's get a close on quest. and then- sorry. [ laughter ] >> jim: so he did -- he did "finding your roots" on pbs. >> yeah. >> jimmy: diyou find? >> questlove: i found my roots. >> jimmy: yeah. [ laughter ] >> questlove: yes. >> jimmy: and th t're right neyou. yeah. they were right there the whole time. [ laughter ] what did you -- any secrets or anything that you found out? >> questlove: found out where in africa my great, great, great grandfather came from.w. >> j

i think i'll be fine. >> jimmy: seth macfarlane, everybody. season premier of "the orville" december 30th on fox. we'll be right back with andrea savage. ♪ they think i'm a magician ♪ ♪ (voilà, voil) ♪ ♪ they think i know magic ♪ ♪ (voilà, voil) ♪ ♪ they think i go abracadabra, leave and come back, ♪ ♪ 'cause i'm different ♪ (oh mama, voilà, voil) ♪ ♪ you are a magician ♪ (voilà, voil) ♪ ♪ you can make it happen ♪ (voilà, voil) ♪ ♪ they think i go abracadabra, leave and come back, ♪ ♪ 'cause i'm different ♪ they think i go abracadabra, leave and come back, ♪ cats would do anything for the irresistible taste of temptations treats. what are you doing? hey, check this out. temptations - cats can't resist. ♪ when you have nausea, ♪ heartburn, ♪ indigestion, ♪ upset stomach, ♪ diarrhea... girl, pepto ultra coating will treat your stomach right. ♪nausea, heartburn, ♪ indigestion, upset stomach, ♪ diarrhea... try pepto with ultra coating. "what a nice place" "hey grandma!" "what are

seth, your bias is just ruling out -- drooling out. everything these people have been saying, i believe the opposite. i love trump. he is our savior. this man built buildings in this country. he made his mark. obama did not have a lemonade stand. you have to be kidding me. host: do you want to respond? guest: i will respond to the prior color. curiositye caller's as to why the president is using these, talking points and where he is getting this information. the comment about the theanistan war was not first time where the president has been talking like he is a russian spokesman. i think it is extremely weird and curious. investigation continues going through this government shutdown because they funding.anent we finally have checks and balances now that the democrats have taken over the house of representatives. the house has done no meaningful oversight over the last two years and in fact only done things to obstruct the mueller investigation. that has changed a lot. you will finally see a house with subpoena power to call people up