>> steve: one word. one word only. >> jimmy: yep. >> steve: one word. [ laughter ] >> just one. >> jimmy: i know, i know, i know, i know. mamba. >> charo. [ laughter ] >> steve: ooh. >> jimmy: charo. natalie. >> okay. chip. [ laughter ] remember his? >> skip. >> steve: oh, almost. [ laughter ] >> brooklyn is on the line. >> jimmy: guacamole. >> salad. >> steve: oh, unbelievable. that was for three points. natalie, your -- your turn. not salad. >> okay. yeah. meringue. >> salsa. [ cheers and applause ] >> should've guessed [ inaudible ]. >> pal, we don't get any points -- >> jimmy: no, we don't get half a point. >> steve: neil. j.j. jimmy. >> the password is -- >> steve: j.j., you're up first. >> jimmy: j.j. is up first. >> steve: j.j. is up first. >> this is tough. [ light laughter ] >> oh, no. okay. >> can i have like 20 minutes? okay, here we go. last. >> dingle. >> can i use salad again? [ laughter ] can i get a different word? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you can't get a a different word. >> scratch. oh, t

>> steve: yeah! >> jimmy: that's proof. >> steve: come on! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: watching that is how i want the feel always. [ laughter ] can we have a split screen? let me see that again. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tariq, tariq! give it a try! give it a try! [ cheers and applause ] ? higgins! higgins, give it a shot! higgins! [ cheers and applause ] ? we have a great show, everybody! give it up for the roots! [ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: whoa! thank you! [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: come on! >> jimmy: it has been a great week so far. there is more ahead. tomorrow night, jeremy renner will be dropping by our show. >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have something fun planned with him. be sure to tune in for that. plus, michelle dockery and magic from david blaine. >> steve: oh! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm excited about david blaine, because i -- it's total secrecy. i haven't been told what he's going to do. i'm not allowed to know what he's going to do. >> steve

steve: sure and now. at the end of the day, i have the comfort of knowing that what i did, and feeling good about myself and everything else does not matter. emily: where did he want to take the company? steve: there is a disagreement about how important it was to be in the hardware business. the board was reluctant and supporting it. things came to a climax about what to do on the phone business. emily: he said, missing the mobile phone was one of the biggest mistakes in microsoft history. what would you have done differently? steve: i would have moved into the hardware business faster and recognize that what we had in the pc, a separation of chips, systems, and software, was not largely going to reproduce itself in the mobile world. i wish i had thought about the model of subsidizing phones through the operators. you like to point to this ring where i said iphones would never sell. that was because the price is $700 was too high. we should have been in the hardware business sooner, and we were still suf

. >> steve: schnitzgabai? >> jimmy: gabai? >> steve: gabai? >> jimmy: goodbye! >> steve: goodbye! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: schnitz, goodbye! >> steve: hey, schnitz, bye! >> jimmy: schnitz, goodbye! >> steve: immodium, a.d. >> jimmy: it's not that. it's, like, what heidi klum says at the reality show. if you lose, she goes, "schnitz, goodbye." and that's it. [ laughter ] but that's different. this is different. >> steve: okay. >> jimmy: this is different. this is -- >> steve: i thought it was like an anti-diarrhea medicine. >> jimmy: schnitz, goodbye. schnitzgabai? "dude, i'll have the schnitzgabai!" >> steve: "look at my new t-shirt, dude!" >> jimmy: "how about the chicken schnitzgabai?" >> steve: "dude!" >> jimmy: "dude!" [ laughter ] schnitz says, "in all driver's licenses, the description of eye color will be permanently changed to red." now that's -- [ applause ] everyone has red eyes. "he's six foot tall. he has red eyes. he's half closed." this last one is from be a separate line at fast food places for the 'i just smoked, so this might take a while' customers." there we go. [

caitlyn: we're going to play, steve. hey, amy. amy: hi, steve. steve: how you going? amy: i'm wonderful, thank you. steve: marietta, georgia. amy: yes, sir. steve: straight up 75. amy: yes, sir. steve: uh-huh, good. amy: you're so handsome! [cheering and applause] steve: yeah. i know that's right. [laughter] let me tell you something. hey, let me tell you something. let me tell you something. even if you ugly, when somebody tell you that, you feel better about yourself, don't you? thank you very much, amy. amy: absolutely. steve: chrissy, where's the worst place on the body to get a bee sting? chrissy: um, i think your lips. steve: your lips. eric, where's the worst place on the body to get a bee sting? steve: your eye. miss sandi, where's the worst place on your body to get a bee sting? sandi: the worst one i ever got was on my foot. steve: worst one was on your foot. eric: come on, amy, one more. steve: amy, one answer left, you clear the board. what's the worst place on the body to get a bee sting? amy: i'm going to say neck, steve. steve: on your neck. one answer

>> steve: oh, god. hey-oh! ?? >> jimmy: it's a used copy. no, no, no it's nice. it's actually, someone wrote on the inside in pen. >> steve: oh. >> jimmy: "to christy and david, a souvenir of your winter vacation from grandma." [ laughter ] [ applause ] "horny." there it is. [ applause ] isn't that sweet? >> steve: don't sit on the kids. >> jimmy: isn't that sweet? next up is one of those word circle books and i swear i didn't make this one up here. this is real. "jimmy fallon facts -- a word search puzzle book, 104 pages of big puzzles and facts." >> steve: it's about you? >> jimmy: it's all facts about me. [ talking over each other ] career at "saturday night live," weekend update with tina fey. made cameos. >> steve: wow. [ light laughter ] you seem really over the moon -- >> jimmy: the leather man's in here. >> steve: what up? what is? >> jimmy: the leather man. [ light laughter ] i had an album out called "blow your pants off." that's true. i did, i did. it was grammy-award winning album. here it i

>> steve: yeah! >> jimmy: that's proof. >> steve: come on! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: watching that is how i want the feel always. [ laughter ] can we have a split screen? let me see that again. ?? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tariq, tariq! give it a try! give it a try! [ cheers and applause ] ?? higgins! higgins, give it a shot! higgins! [ cheers and applause ] ?? we have a great show, everybody! give it up for the roots! [ cheers and applause ] ?? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: whoa! thank you! [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: come on! >> jimmy: it has been a great week so far. there is more ahead. tomorrow night, jeremy renner will be dropping by our show. >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have something fun planned with him. be sure to tune in for that. plus, michelle dockery and magic from david blaine. >> steve: oh! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm excited about david blaine, because i -- it's total sey. going to do. i'm not allowed to know what he's going to do. >> steve: he's just going to blow

>> steve: yeah! [ applause ] >> jimmy: i celebrate every year. i celebrate it the same, every year. >> steve: love it. love it! >> jimmy: oh, listen to this. so, experts are warning shoppers to check the spelling of websites on cyber monday because there are lookalike sites that try to scam you with a slight misspelling of a a store's name. yep, they said if you want more info on thisst [ applause ] goggle should have it. black friday was the biggest shopping day of the year in the u.s., but some stores in canada also offered their own door buster deals. and i was watching the news, and it made me realize how different our two countries are. look at this store in the u.s. on friday. [ shouting ] >> jimmy: all right. that's -- yeah. now take a look at black friday in canada. [ applause ] [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: single file, people are clapping. >> steve: even the employees are applauding. >> jimmy: later, two people fought over a big screen tv saying, "you take it!" "no, you saw it first."

of pitt. >> steve: here's peterman. throwing on the run. couldn't hook up with aaron matthews, the true freshman out of clairton, p.a. >> brian: where has conner gone? the defense of climson has stood up in the fourth quarter. you cannot hand it to him and expect to run it between the tackles right now. you have soft edges when you use conner on the perimeter. couldn't be surprised if they try it again. >> steve: second down and ten. peterman. too high. scott orndoff, all 6'5" of him went up, and orndoff couldn't bring it down becomes you mentioned, 6'6", treat him like a basketball player. give him a chance to go up and make a play. got to have that. >> steve: field goal doesn't help pitt the way it would have clemson apartment the other end. 5:30 to go, fourth quarter. third and ten. peterman lost one down the sideline. the timing off for jester weah but there is a flag. >> brian: wallace the safety in coverage. >> referee: holding defense number 12. 10-yard penalty, first down. >> steve: let's take a look. i didn't s

>> steve: totino's. >> jimmy: toastino's? >> steve: totino's? >> steve: you did? >> jimmy: well, if you make it in the toaster oven. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: where do you make your pizza rolls? >> steve: anything i make in the toaster oven are called toastino's'. >> jimmy: is that the only pizza -- did they corner the pizza roll business? >> steve: yeah, i think so. they are the kings of pizza roll. talk about your michael jordans of pizza rolls. >> jimmy: totino's pizza rolls. isn't there another one? didn't la choy? >> steve: gino's maybe? >> jimmy: maybe those tiny egg rolls? who? >> audience: elio's? >> jimmy: elio's? they make pizza rolls? >> questlove: no. >> steve: no. [ laughter and applause ] questlove says no. >> jimmy: did he mean, no? >> steve: he's writing a book [ laughter ] >> jimmy: let's see you do the pizza roll. ? let me see that pizza roll? ? let me see that pizza roll? [ laughter and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] ? babylon ? >> steve: hey! >> jimmy: it's a remix. [ laughter ] next up, we have a photo of mike pence and nancy pelosi. this one

of pitt. >> steve: here's peterman. couldn't hook up with aaron matthews, the true freshman out of clairton, p.a. >> brian: where has conner gone? the defense of climson has stood up in the fourth quarter. you cannot hand it to him and expect to run it between the tackles right now. you have soft edges when you use conner on the perimeter. couldn't be surprised if they try it again. >> steve: second down and ten. peterman. too high. scott orndoff, all 6'5" of him went up, and orndoff couldn't bring it down becomes you mentioned, 6'6", treat him like a basketball player. give him a chance to go up and >> steve: field goal doesn't help pitt the way it would have clemson apartment the other end. 5:30 to go, fourth quarter. third and ten. peterman lost one down the sideline. the timing off for jester weah but there is a flag. >> brian: wallace the safety in coverage. >> referee: holding defense number 12. 10-yard penalty, first down. >> steve: let's take a look. i didn't see it. >> brian: all-out blitz. the safety came. and

>> steve: very funny. to my right is our first player, her new movie "jackie," opens in new york and los angeles on friday, it's natalie portman! [ cheers and applause ] and to my left, we have the host of nbc's "tonight show" and saugerties sweetheart, jimmy fallon. [ cheers and applause ] tonight is an incredibly talented writer, director, producer and one of the minds behind "westworld," which airs sundays at 9:00 p.m. on hbo, please welcome j.j. abrams! [ cheers and applause ] >> hello. >> good to see you. >> wow, [ inaudible ] >> steve: and jimmy, you will be playing with one of the best-selling musicians of all time, his new album, "acoustic christmas" comes out tomorrow. it's neil diamond! [ cheers and applause ] s >> jimmy: oh my god. >> what's up, jimmy? >> jimmy: ay caramba. come on. >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about. >> you should have brooklyn on yours too. >> jimmy: i was born in brooklyn, but yeah i was raised in -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: we're brooklyn. brooklyn versus -- [ inaudible ] >>

steve: free alcohol. helen: pizza. steve: huh? helen: pizza. steve: such a nice girl. pizza. pass or play? helen: we're gonna play, steve. steve: they're gonna play. yeah, let's go play with the boys now. all right, aaron, name something that most men wouldn't turn down if it was offered to them. aaron: i wouldn't turn down any money. steve: money. isaac, name something most men wouldn't turn down if it was offered to them. isaac: a girl. ben: mother's here. isaac: my mom's here, stevie. steve: oh. he--he already keeps whispering to me, "s-steve, my mom's here." [laughter] we got to know exactly what you're talking about. isaac: intimate relationship for free. [cheering and applause] ben: good answer. good answer. steve: they raised this boy good. intimate relationships. intimate relationships. ben: what he didn't tell you is his girlfriend and his girlfriend's mom's here, too, so... steve: his girlfriend and his girlfriend's mom? oh! oh-oh-oh! ben: should've stuck with "girl." steve: it's ok, man. come on. put your arm around me. come on. it's ok. it's ok. it's ok. hang in t

>> steve: oh, oh! >> jimmy: whoa, whoa, whoa! >> steve: hey-oh! >> jimmy: whoa, hey! >> steve: hey! [ jersey accents ] >> jimmy: on thanksgiving. don't do it on thanksgiving. hey, jimmy! [ laughter ] >> steve: dvd! >> jimmy: jimmy, come on. this is for you. it's for you. take this. [ laughter ] meanwhile i read that donald trump and his family spent thanksgiving at his mar-a- lago resort in palm beach, florida. marking the only thanksgiving dinner where you are actually allowed to bring up donald trump. [ laughter and applause ] i guess trump really loves thanksgiving because it's the one day a year he can talk about legs, thighs and breasts without getting in trouble. [ cheers and applause ] so, it's perfect. >> steve: oh! hey, hey! whoa! oh! >> jimmy: i saw that snoop dogg just posted a 30-minute video of himself smoking weed, eating turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, and pumpkin pie. [ light laughter ] yeah. asked if he was having a good thanksgiving, snoop said, "it's thanksgiving?" [ laughter and applause ] "oh, that's interesting. happy thanksgiving." and, finally listen to th

>> steve: yeah! >> jimmy: that's proof. >> steve: come on! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: watching that is how i want the feel always. [ laughter ] can we have a split screen? let me see that again. ?? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tariq, tariq! give it a try! give it a try! [ cheers and applause ] ?? higgins! higgins, give it a shot! higgins! [ cheers and applause ] ?? we have a great show, everybody! give it up for the roots! [ cheers and applause ] ?? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: whoa! thank you! [ cheers and applause ] >> steve: come on! >> jimmy: it has been a great week so far. there is more ahead. tomorrow night, jeremy renner will be dropping by our show. >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have something fun planned with him. be sure to tune in for that. plus, michelle dockery and magic from david blaine. >> steve: oh! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm excited about david blaine, because i -- it's i haven't been told what he's going to do. i'm not allowed to know what he's going to do. >> steve: he's

>> steve: yeah! >> jimmy: that's proof. >> steve: come on! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: watching that is how i want the feel always. [ laughter ] can we have a split screen? let me see that again. ? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tariq, tariq! give it a try! give it a try! [ cheers and applause ] ? higgins! higgins, give it a shot! higgins! [ cheers and applause ] ? we have a great show, everybody! give it up for the roots! [ cheers and applause ] ? ? [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: whoa! >> steve: come on! >> jimmy: it has been a great week so far. there is more ahead. tomorrow night, jeremy renner will be dropping by our show. >> steve: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we have something fun planned with him. be sure to tune in for that. plus, michelle dockery and magic from david blaine. >> steve: oh! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i'm excited about david blaine, because i -- it's total secrecy. i haven't been told what he's going to do. i'm not allowed to know what he's going to do. >> steve: he's just going to blow you

>> steve: oh, oh! >> jimmy: whoa, whoa, whoa! >> steve: hey-oh! >> jimmy: whoa, hey! >> steve: hey! [ jersey accents ] >> jimmy: on thanksgiving. hey, jimmy! [ laughter ] >> steve: dvd! >> jimmy: jimmy, come on. this is for you. it's for you. take this. [ laughter ] meanwhile i read that donald trump and his family spent thanksgiving at his mar-a- lago resort in palm beach, florida. marking the only thanksgiving dinner where you are actually allowed to bring up donald trump. [ laughter and applause ] you've got to be really careful. i guess trump really loves thanksgiving because it's the one day a year he can talk about legs, thighs and breasts so, it's perfect. >> steve: oh! hey, hey! whoa! oh! >> jimmy: i saw that snoop dogg just posted a 30-minute video of himself smoking weed, eating turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, and pumpkin pie. [ light laughter ] yeah. asked if he was having a good thanksgiving, snoop said, "it's thanksgiving?" [ laughter and applause ] "oh, that's interesting. happy thanksgiving." and, finally listen to this. a doctor in arizona said there is a 25 to 30

. >> steve: right? >> jimmy: a subtle hint, a a subtle hint for christmas. >> steve: wow. >> jimmy: things have been pretty tense, though, but with trump winning the election, the stock market has been going up and down a lot lately. let's see exactly if we can figure out why this is happening. for example, the market went up when trump met with president obama. the market went down when trump asked obama to change the it's easier to remember. later, the market went down when trump announced he's getting rid of obamacare. the market went up when trump simply assured everyone that he replaced it with "something terrific." [ laughter and applause ] and finally, the market went up when donald trump flew to washington, d.c. on his own plane. the market went down when trump made the pilot land in the hudson river to see if sully was real or not. [ laughter and applause ] of course, it was real! what are you talking about? the red holiday cups are coming back this year, and will have 13 different designs. >>

>> steve: totino's. >> steve: totino's? >> jimmy: oh, we should call it toastino's. >> steve: you did? >> jimmy: well, if you make it in the toaster oven. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: where do you make your pizza rolls? >> steve: anything i make in the toaster oven are called toastino's'. >> jimmy: is that the only pizza -- did they corner the pizza roll business? >> steve: yeah, i think so. they are the kings of pizza roll. talk about your michael jordans of pizza rolls. >> jimmy: totino's pizza rolls. isn't there another one? didn't la choy? >> steve: gino's maybe? >> jimmy: maybe those tiny egg rolls? who? >> audience: elio's? >> jimmy: elio's? they make pizza rolls? >> questlove: no. >> steve: no. [ laughter and applause ] questlove says no. he should know. >> questlove: it's my next book, "pizza rolls." [ laughter ] >> jimmy: let's see you do the pizza roll. ? let me see that pizza roll? ? let me see that pizza roll? [ laughter and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] ? babylon ? >> steve: hey! >> jimmy: it's a remix. [ laught

>> steve: hey! >> jimmy: it's a remix. [ laughter ] next up, we have a photo of mike pence and nancy pelosi. this one's called #tinderfail. [ applause ] >> steve: dang! oopsie. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: here's a photo of, lady gaga. her meme says, "when you crush that eye exam." it's like -- [ laughter ] and finally, we have kim jong-un. [ audience ohs ] take a look at this photo. his meme says, "ermahgerd, check out my bernerculers." [ applause ] that was "this week in memes." we'll be right back with more of "the tonight show," everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ? (laughs..) here it is. ? ? hey dad! ? wishes do come true. the lincoln wish list sales event is on. get exceptional offers on the lincoln family of luxury vehicles. sign and drive off in a new 2017 lincoln mkc with zero down and a complimentary first month's payment. ? olive garden now offers catering delivery we make the food and deliver it to your door so you can enjoy what's important ? we sent two women into a real guys night out to see

of pitt. >> steve: here's peterman. matthews, the true freshman out of clairton, p.a. >> brian: where has conner gone? the defense of climson has stood up in the fourth quarter. you cannot hand it to him and expect to run it between the tackles right now. you have soft edges when you use conner on the perimeter. couldn't be surprised if they try it again. >> steve: second down and ten. peterman. too high. scott orndoff, all 6'5" of him went up, and orndoff couldn't bring it down becomes you mentioned, 6'6", treat him like a basketball player. give him a chance to go up and make a play. >> steve: field goal doesn't help pitt the way it would have clemson apartment the other end. 5:30 to go, fourth quarter. third and ten. peterman lost one down the sideline. the timing off for jester weah but there is a flag. >> brian: wallace the coverage. >> referee: holding defense number 12. 10-yard penalty, first down. >> steve: let's take a look. i didn't see it. >> brian: all-out blitz. the safety came. and wallace has man to man.

of pitt. >> steve: here's peterman. couldn't hook up with aaron matthews, the true freshman out of clairton, p.a. >> brian: where has conner gone? the defense of climson has stood up in the fourth quarter. you cannot hand it to him and expect to run it between the tackles right now. you have soft edges when you use conner on the perimeter. couldn't be surprised if they try it again. >> steve: second down and ten. peterman. too high. scott orndoff, all 6'5" of him went up, and orndoff couldn't bring it down becomes you mentioned, 6'6", treat him like a basketball player. give him a chance to go up and >>teve: field goal doesn't help pitt the way it would have clemson apartment the other end. 5:30 to go, fourth quarter. third and ten. peterman lost one down the sideline. the timing off for jester weah but there is a flag. >> brian: wallace the coverage. >> referee: holding defense number 12. 10-yard penalty, first down. >> steve: let's take a look. i didn't see it. >> brian: all-out blitz. the safety came. and wallace has

>> steve: one word. one word only. >> jimmy: yep. >> steve: one word. [ laughter ] >> just one. >> jimmy: i know, i know, i know, i know. mamba. >> charo. [ laughter ] >> steve: ooh. >> jimmy: charo. natalie. chip. [ laughter ] remember his? >> skip. >> steve: oh, almost. [ laughter ] >> brooklyn is on the line. >> jimmy: guacamole. >> salad. >> steve: oh, unbelievable. natalie, your -- your turn. not salad. >> okay. yeah. meringue. >> salsa. [ cheers and applause ] >> should've guessed [ inaudible ]. >> pal, we don't get any points -- >> jimmy: no, we don't get half a point. >> steve: neil. j.j. >> steve: j.j., you're up first. >> jimmy: j.j. is up first. >> steve: j.j. is up first. >> this is tough. [ light laughter ] >> oh, no. okay. >> can i have like 20 minutes? okay, here we go. last. >> dingle. [ laughter ] can i get a different word? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you can't get a a different word. >> scratch. oh, that's a good one. track. >> what? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: laugh track. >> oh track. no, no.

>> steve: very funny. to my right is our first player, her new movie "jackie," opens in new york and los angeles on friday, it's natalie portman! [ cheers and applause ] and to my left, we have the host of nbc's "tonight show" and saugerties sweetheart, jimmy fallon. tonight is an incredibly talented writer, director, producer and one of the minds behind "westworld," which airs sundays at 9:00 p.m. on hbo, please welcome j.j. abrams! [ cheers and applause ] >> hello. >> good to see you. >> wow, [ inaudible ] >> steve: and jimmy, you will be playing with one of the best-selling musicians of all time, his new album, "acoustic christmas" comes out tomorrow. it's neil diamond! [ cheers and applause ] s >> jimmy: oh my god. >> what's up, jimmy? >> jimmy: ay caramba. come on. >> jimmy: that's what i'm talking about. >> you should have brooklyn on yours too. >> jimmy: i was born in brooklyn, but yeah i was raised in -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: we're brooklyn. brooklyn versus -- [ inaudible ] >> steve: -- manhasset. >>

of pitt. >> steve: here's peterman. throwing on the run. matthews, the true freshman out of clairton, p.a. >> brian: where has conner gone? the defense of climson has stood up in the fourth quarter. you cannot hand it to him and expect to run it between the tackles right now. you have soft edges when you use conner on the perimeter. couldn't be surprised if they try it again. >> steve: second down and ten. peterman. too high. scott orndoff, all 6'5" of him went up, and orndoff couldn't bring it down becomes you mentioned, 6'6", treat him like a basketball player. give him a chance to go up and help pitt the way it would have clemson apartment the other end. 5:30 to go, fourth quarter. third and ten. peterman lost one down the sideline. the timing off for jester weah but there is a flag. >> brian: wallace the coverage. >> referee: holding defense number 12. 10-yard penalty, first down. >> steve: let's take a look. i didn't see it. >> brian: all-out blitz. the safety came. and wallace has man to man. that's -- oh, i don't

>> steve: one word. one word only. >> jimmy: yep. >> steve: one word. [ laughter ] >> just one. >> jimmy: i know, i know, i know, i know. mamba. >> charo. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: charo. natalie. >> okay. chip. [ laughter ] remember his? >> skip. >> steve: oh, almost. [ laughter ] >> brooklyn is on the line. >> jimmy: guacamole. >> salad. >> steve: oh, unbelievable. that was for three points. natalie, your -- your turn. not salad. >> okay. yeah. meringue. >> salsa. [ cheers and applause ] >> should've guessed [ inaudible ]. >> pal, we don't get any points -- >> jimmy: no, we don't get half a point. j.j. jimmy. >> the password is -- >> steve: j.j., you're up first. >> jimmy: j.j. is up first. >> steve: j.j. is up first. >> this is tough. [ light laughter ] >> oh, no. okay. >> can i have like 20 minutes? okay, here we go. last. >> dingle. >> can i use salad again? [ laughter ] can i get a different word? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you can't get a a different word. >> scratch. oh, that's a good one. track. >> wha

>> steve: oh, god. hey-oh! ♪ there we go. >> jimmy: it's a used copy. no, no, no it's nice. it's actually, someone wrote on the inside in pen. >> steve: oh. >> jimmy: "to christy and david, a souvenir of your winter vacation from grandma." [ laughter ] [ applause ] "horny." there it is. [ applause ] isn't that sweet? >> steve: don't sit on the kids. >> jimmy: isn't that sweet? next up is one of those word circle books and i swear i didn't make this one up here. this is real. "jimmy fallon facts -- a word search puzzle book, 104 pages of big puzzles and facts." someone actually made this. and i'm -- i'm looking at it. >> steve: it's about you? >> jimmy: it's all facts about me. [ talking over each other ] career at "saturday night live," weekend update with tina fey. made cameos. >> steve: wow. [ light laughter ] you seem really over the moon -- >> jimmy: the leather man's in here. >> steve: what up? what is? >> jimmy: the leather man. [ light laughter ] i had an album out called "blow your pants off."

down, catches the ball there. >> steve: th >> steve: the 44. >> brian: yeah. our replay official tonight is joe ryder. >> steve: veteran of the 82nd airborne. we salute him. >> brian: we salute him today. he hasn't had any issues tonight. >> steve: no. >> brian: it's been on the field. >> steve: i have no problem with good old joe there. from evans dale, indiana, hometown of my old man. actually went to high school game and he said it's harder now to do this job, replay official, than it ever has been. especially with the targeting. i was talking to him ability the targeting at length. and now, the acc, they have an opportunity to review back in greeningboro. and makes it a little more difficult. >> referee: after review, the receiver's knee was down when the ball was possessed. >> steve: that is the easiest one they had. >> brian: sometimes it will take longer because they confirm with greensboro and the s.e.c. is doing it more so. big ten is dabbling with it, the remote remote sites. fy was a betting man, i would >> steve: mission control centrally located o

>> steve: oh! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> steve: come on. and miranda lambert will be joining us. it's a big show. [ cheers and applause ] then on friday, we have megyn kelly. she and i are playing a game of "box of lies." >> steve: ooh! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: but first, we have a a fantastic show tonight. he stars in the upcoming new hbo series, "the young pope." he's fantastic, i love that dude. >> steve: love him. >> jimmy: jude law is here ladies and gentlemen! >> steve: come on! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: he knows how to do it. >> steve: come on! >> jimmy: speaking of knows how the season "this is us," sterling k. brown is stopping by! [ cheers and applause ] plays chris -- chris darden. and we got great new music from macklemore -- >> steve: yeah! >> jimmy: featuring ariana deboo! [ cheers and applause ] big show tonight. and the last two nights i've been -- i can't get this out of my head, because i've been watching a lot of "gilmore girls." gearing up. gearing up the choo-choo train for the netflix special that's co

. >> steve: schnitzgabai? >> jimmy: gabai? >> steve: gabai? >> jimmy: goodbye! >> steve: goodbye! [ laughter ] >> jimmy: schnitz, goodbye! >> steve: hey, schnitz, bye! >> jimmy: schnitz, goodbye! >> steve: immodium, a.d. >> jimmy: it's not that. it's, like, what heidi klum says at the reality show. if you lose, she goes, "schnitz, goodbye." and that's it. [ laughter ] but that's different. this is different. >> steve: okay. >> jimmy: this is different. this is -- >> steve: i thought it was like an anti-diarrhea medicine. >> jimmy: schnitz, goodbye. schnitzgabai? "dude, i'll have the schnitzgabai!" >> steve: "look at my new t-shirt, dude!" >> jimmy: "how about the chicken schnitzgabai?" >> steve: "dude!" >> jimmy: "dude!" [ laughter ] schnitz says, "in all driver's licenses, the description of eye color will be permanently changed to red." now that's -- [ applause ] everyone has red eyes. "he's six foot tall. he has red eyes. he's half closed." this last one is from @kingbeyhive. beehive. he says, "there should be a separate line at fast food places for the 'i just smoked, so this

. >> steve: real good. new movie, then we're going to face off in the jinx challenge, and we're gonna see if we have any chemistry there. because last time she was here, she really -- ? she dropped the bomb on me ? [ light laughter ] >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: yeah. she came last time and just -- yeah, she -- apparently -- >> steve: apparently. >> jimmy: i -- yeah. apparently, we went on a date. >> steve: yeah, but -- >> jimmy: i didn't know this story, and i don't know, it's just -- >> steve: you didn't know it was a date. >> jimmy: i thought i was up for a movie role, and so my friend called me and said, apartment." and i was like, "oh, i'm on the street. like, okay, hold on. i'll be home." i think i had one of those t-mobile flip phone things. that's how long time ago it was. yeah, it's like -- you know, the one that flips around. so i was like, "all right, dude. i'll call you." he goes, "just" -- i said, "what do i do? i don't know if i even have anything." i have, like, i'm a single dude. i'm on "saturd

>> steve: old buddy of mine. old buddy of mine. >> jimmy: jimmy, i love so many things about the fall. it's hard to keep track of them. could you put them all into one song? well, i don't think i can do that, but i know someone who can. tariq, you want to give it a a shot? >> certainly. ? ? last summer was a scorcher but autumn is the time to ? ? support your local farms by going apple picking at the orchard we can pose for ? ? the holiday portraits with the scarecrows hangin' at the doorstep getting chilly out ? ? keep your door shut tight wear a sweater and boot when you go outside wife thirsty for ? ? something nice i say lattes with the pumpkin spice i'd rather do that than ? ? look all lame with muddle outside watchin' the football game i mean it's almost ? ? thanksgiving again word side dish stuffing in a ? ? dead bird pull it from the oven and it gets served if i take a nap ? ? don't get scared because -- it was halloween then i wake up in the ? ? morning it was all a dream and jimmy making fun of me i'm h

>> steve: oh! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> steve: come on. >> jimmy: be sure to tune in for that. plus, we have michael shannon and miranda lambert will be joining us. it's a big show. [ cheers and applause ] then on friday, we have megyn kelly. she and i are playing a game of "box of lies." >> steve: ooh! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: but first, we have a a fantastic show tonight. he stars in the upcoming new hbo series, "the young pop he's fantastic, i love that dude. >> steve: love him. >> jimmy: jude law is here ladies and gentlemen! >> steve: come on! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: he knows how to do it. >> steve: come on! >> jimmy: speaking of knows how to do it. from the number one new show of the season "this is us," sterling k. brown is stopping by! [ cheers and applause ] plays chris -- chris darden. and we got great new music from macklemore -- >> steve: yeah! >> jimmy: featuring ariana deboo! [ cheers and applause ] been -- i can't get this out of my head, because i

>> steve: one word. one word only. >> jimmy: yep. >> steve: one word. [ laughter ] >> just one. >> jimmy: i know, i know, i know, i know. mamba. >> charo. [ laughter ] >> steve: ooh. >> jimmy: charo. chip. [ laughter ] remember his? >> skip. >> steve: oh, almost. [ laughter ] >> brooklyn is on the line. >> jimmy: guacamole. >> salad. >> steve: oh, unbelievable. natalie, your -- your turn. not salad. >> okay. yeah. meringue. >> salsa. [ cheers and applause ] >> should've guessed [ inaudible ]. >> pal, we don't get any points -- >> jimmy: no, we don't get half a point. >> steve: neil. j.j. >> the password is -- >> steve: j.j., you're up first. >> jimmy: j.j. is up first. >> steve: j.j. is up first. >> this is tough. [ light laughter ] >> oh, no. okay. >> can i have like 20 minutes? okay, here we go. last. >> dingle. >> can i use salad again? [ laughter ] can i get a different word? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you can't get a a different word. >> scratch. oh, that's a good one. track. >> what? [ laughter ] >> ji

>> steve: oh! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> steve: come on. >> jimmy: be sure to tune in for that. plus, we have michael shannon and miranda lambert will be joining us. it's a big show. [ cheers and applause ] then on friday, we have megyn kelly. she and i are playing a game of "box of lies." >> steve: ooh! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: but first, we a he stars in the upcoming new hbo series, "the young pope." he's fantastic, i love that dude. >> steve: love him. >> jimmy: jude law is here ladies and gentlemen! >> steve: come on! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: he knows how to do it. >> steve: come on! >> jimmy: speaking of knows how to do it. from the number one new show of the season "this is us," sterling k. brown is stopping by! [ cheers and applause ] plays chris -- chris darden. and we got great new music from macklemore -- >> steve: yeah! >> jimmy: featuring ariana deboo! big show tonight. and the last two nights i've been -- i can't get this out of my head, because i've b

steve, no. steve... ( gunshot ) identify yourself. ( glass shattering ) ( clattering ) ( mumbling ) hail mary, full of grace... holy mary, mother of god... ( mumbling ) ( mumbling ) steve! steve! but i've seen enough flakes to know when i'm wasting time. first, we must find him. hanson: how's munez? scared. he'll be all right. get anything? he didn't see the shooting. that doesn't help. we have threats back and forth. we have a motive but no weapon. without it, the law works in favor of campos. yes, it does. did you burn your cover? oh, no, it's in great shape. they shouldn't have been there. and make a case. make a case? without that gun, we'll never get a conviction. the system jams up and robert campos walks away from murder. and if we don't deliver the guy who shot their leader... meyers: some of you have been through this before. you've seen a brother dropped and a guy run freeee you've seen families lose their sons. i handed the police raymond davies. even though he has a a evious arrest f

>> steve: old buddy of mine. old buddy of mine. >> jimmy: jimmy, i love so many things about the fall. it's hard to keep track of them. could you put them all into one song? well, i don't think i can do can. tariq, you want to give it a a shot? >> certainly. ?? ? last summer was a scorcher it went on forever it was torture but autumn is the time to ? ? support your local farms by going apple picking at the orchard we can pose for ? ? the holiday portraits with the scarecrows hangin' at the doorstep getting chilly out ? ? keep your door shut tight wear a sweater and boot when you go outside wife thirsty for ? ? something nice i say lattes with the pumpkin spice i'd rather do that than ? with muddle outside watchin' the football game i mean it's almost ? ? thanksgiving again word side dish stuffing in a ? ? dead bird pull it from the oven and it gets served if i take a nap ? ? don't get scared because -- [ unintelligble ] it was halloween then i wake up in the ? ? morning it was all a dream and jimmy making fun of

he's already -- already in the car. >> steve: yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, he's out. >> steve: the clapper. >> jimmy: some celebrity news. ricky martin announced that he is engaged to his boyfriend, who happens to be syrian. yeah, that's right. ricky got down on one knee and said, "will you help me make donald trump's head explode?" [ laughter and applause ] meanwhile, carrie fisher said that she went public with her affair with harrison ford because she felt like she waited an appropriate amount of time. [ laughter ] specifically, she said it was a a long time ago in a winnebago far, far away. and you go, all right, that's tmi. that's -- [ applause ] i'm not sure what to make of this, guys. there's a new workout where people -- have you heard of this? people crawl like a baby. [ light laughter ] it's a new thing, yes, because it strengthens your core while working your shoulders and hips. [ light laughter ] yeah, in response, babies were like, "have you seen our bodies?" [ laughter ] wrists don't normally have dimples. but, i'm just saying. you want us to be -- well, this seems kind of sil

>> steve: oh, god. hey-oh! ?? there we go. >> jimmy: it's a used copy. no, no, no it's nice. it's actually, someone wroten >> steve: oh. >> jimmy: "to christy and david, a souvenir of your winter vacation from grandma." [ laughter ] [ applause ] "horny." there it is. [ applause ] isn't that sweet? >> steve: don't sit on the kids. >> jimmy: isn't that sweet? next up is one of those word circle books and i swear i didn't make this one up here. this is real. "jimmy fallon facts -- a word search puzzle book, 104 pages of big puzzles and facts." someone actually made this. and i'm -- i'm looking at it. >> steve: it's about you? >> jimmy: it's all facts about me. career at "saturday night live," weekend update with tina fey. made cameos. >> steve: wow. [ light laughter ] you seem really over the moon -- >> jimmy: the leather man's in here. >> steve: what up? what is? >> jimmy: the leather man. [ light laughter ] i had an album out called "blow your pants off." that's true. i did, i did. it was grammy-award wi

>> steve: old buddy of mine. old buddy of mine. >> jimmy: jimmy, i love so many things about the fall. it's hard to keep track of them. could you put them all into one song? well, i don't think i can do that, but i know someone who can. tariq, you want to give it a ?? ? last summer was a scorcher it went on forever it was torture but autumn is the time to ? ? support your local farms by going apple picking at the orchard we can pose for ? ? the holiday portraits with the scarecrows hangin' at the doorstep getting chilly out ? ? keep your door shut tight wear a sweater and boot when you go outside wife thirsty for ? ? something nice i say lattes with the pumpkin spice i'd rather do that than ? ? look all lame with muddle outside watchin' the football game word side dish stuffing in a ? ? dead bird pull it from the oven and it gets served if i take a nap ? ? don't get scared because -- [ unintelligble ] it was halloween then i wake up in the ? ? morning it was all a dream and jimmy making fun of me i'm human and it

>> steve: old buddy of mine. old buddy of mine. >> jimmy: jimmy, i love so many things about the fall. it's hard to keep track of them. could you put them all into one song? well, i don't think i can do that, but i know someone who can. tariq, you want to give it a a shot? ?? ? last summer was a scorcher it went on forever it was torture but autumn is the time to ? ? support your local farms by going apple picking at the orchard we can pose for ? ? the holiday portraits with the scarecrows hangin' at the doorstep getting chilly out ? ? keep your door shut tight wear a sweater and boot when you go outside wife thirsty for ? ? something nice i say lattes with the pumpkin spice i'd rather do that than ? ? look all lame with muddle outside watchin' the football game i mean it's almost ? ? word side dish stuffing in a ? ? dead bird pull it from the oven and it gets served if i take a nap ? ? don't get scared because -- [ unintelligble ] it was halloween then i wake up in the ? ? morning it was all a dream and jimmy ma

>> steve: yeah! [ applause ] >> jimmy: i celebrate every year. i celebrate it the same, every year. >> steve: love it. love it! >> jimmy: oh, listen to this. so, experts are warning shoppers to check the spelling of websites on cyber monday because there are lookalike sites that try to scam you with a slight misspelling of a a store's name. yep, they said if you want more info on this, just look it up on goggle. [ applause ] goggle should have it. black friday was the biggest shopping day of the year in the u.s., but some stores in canada also offered their own door buster deals. and i was watching the news, and it made me realize how different our two countries are. look at this store in the u.s. on friday. [ shouting ] >> jimmy: all right. that's -- yeah. yeah, okay. [ laughter ] now take a look at black friday in canada. [ applause ] [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: single file, people are clapping. >> steve: even the employees are applauding. >> jimmy: later, two people fought over a big scree

>> steve: oh, god. hey-oh! ?? there we go. >> jimmy: it's a used copy. no, no, no it's nice. it's actually, som the inside in pen. >> steve: oh. >> jimmy: "to christy and david, a souvenir of your winter vacation from grandma." [ laughter ] [ applause ] "horny." there it is. [ applause ] isn't that sweet? >> steve: don't sit on the kids. >> jimmy: isn't that sweet? next up is one of those word circle books and i swear i didn't make this one up here. this is real. "jimmy fallon facts -- a word search puzzle book, 104 pages of big puzzles and facts." someone actually made this. and i'm -- i'm looking at it. >> steve: it's about you? >> jimmy: it's all facts about career at "saturday night live," weekend update with tina fey. made cameos. >> steve: wow. [ light laughter ] you seem really over the moon -- >> jimmy: the leather man's in here. >> steve: what up? what is? >> jimmy: the leather man. [ light laughter ] i had an album out called "blow your pants off." that's true. i did, i did. it was grammy-awar

>> steve: oh, god. hey-oh! ?? there we go. >> jimmy: it's a used co it's actually, someone wrote on the inside in pen. >> steve: oh. >> jimmy: "to christy and david, a souvenir of your winter vacation from grandma." [ laughter ] [ applause ] "horny." there it is. [ applause ] isn't that sweet? >> steve: don't sit on the kids. >> jimmy: isn't that sweet? next up is one of those word circle books and i swear i didn't make this one up here. this is real. "jimmy fallon facts -- a word search puzzle book, 104 pages of big puzzles and facts." someone actually made this. and i'm -- i'm looking at it. [ talking over each other ] career at "saturday night live," weekend update with tina fey. made cameos. >> steve: wow. [ light laughter ] you seem really over the moon -- >> jimmy: the leather man's in here. >> steve: what up? what is? >> jimmy: the leather man. [ light laughter ] i had an album out called "blow your pants off." that's true. i did, i did. it was grammy-award winning album. here it is here. we have

lot going on, griese. >> steve: hard hit in the secondary. that's drue tranquill who's had a nice game. >> brian: i don't see how oklahoma can get in. they got blasted by houston and ohio state. i just don't see it. >> todd: my point is, they're that t if the committee all of a sudden decides not to take that second big ten team who's up next? >> brian: colorado, why not colorado? if washington loses, they lose to colorado. >> todd: there was a method to the madness i wanted to beat the snap. >> steve: you did. line-drive snap to finke. 34-yard punt and a 12-yard return. okay the trojans need some help, a little watch party tonight. and root for the utes. we'll be right back. e ...to get your romantic on. get your appreciation on. and get your unexpected on. kay jewelers. to 30% on select ...diamonds in rhythm... stunning diamond fashions. ...and this charmed memories gift set. so go to kay... the number one jewelry store in america... ...and get your kiss on. ? every kiss begins with kay. ? liberty mutual stood with me when i was too busy wi

>> steve: oh, god. hey-oh! ?? there we go. >> jimmy: it's a used copy. no, no, no it's nice. the inside in pen. >> steve: oh. >> jimmy: "to christy and david, a souvenir of your winter vacation from grandma." [ laughter ] [ applause ] "horny." there it is. [ applause ] isn't that sweet? >> steve: don't sit on the kids. >> jimmy: isn't that sweet? next up is one of those word circle books and i swear i didn't make this one up here. this is real. "jimmy fallon facts -- a word search puzzle book, 104 pages of big puzzles and facts." someone actually made this. and i'm -- i'm looking at it. career at "saturday night live," weekend update with tina fey. made cameos. >> steve: wow. [ light laughter ] you seem really over the moon -- >> jimmy: the leather man's in here. >> steve: what up? what is? >> jimmy: the leather man. [ light laughter ] i had an album out called "blow your pants off." that's true. i did, i did. it was grammy-award winning album. here it is here. we have the only copy. [ cheers and applau

book. >> steve: oh, great. >> jimmy: do it yourself. >> steve: love it. >> jimmy: yeah. this one's called "upside down vests to make and paint -- vests made from recycled denim jeans." [ laughter ] it's a pair of jeans. >> steve: wow. i don't believe it. that's a pair of jeans? >> jimmy: finally, someone wrote a book about something that literally no one asked for. [ laughter ] not bad. [ laughter ] pretty good. you cat there you go. now i recognize it. it's a pair of jeans. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: oh, my goodness. it's an easy trick. >> steve: easy trick. >> jimmy: yeah, you go to school, no one will be like -- >> steve: no kid's gonna make fun of it. >> jimmy: know the difference. >> steve: yeah, they make -- wear that to school. >> jimmy: yeah. next up, we have a self-help book. this is called "self-esteem for dummies." >> steve: okay. that -- [ audience aws ] >> jimmy: down here, it says, "learn to identify triggers to low self-esteem." [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> steve: don't buy that book. oh, man. >> jimmy: you got an aisle of books for losers? >> steve: yes

of pitt. >> steve: here's peterman. throwing on the run. matthews, the true freshman out of clairton, p.a. >> brian: where has conner gone? the defense of climson has stood up in the fourth quarter. you cannot hand it to him and expect to run it between the tackles right now. you have soft edges when you use conner on the perimeter. couldn't be surprised if they try it again. >> steve: second down and ten. peterman. too high. scott orndoff, all 6'5" of him went up, and orndoff couldn't bring it down becomes you mentioned, 6'6", treat him like a basketball player. give him a chance to go up and make a play. got to have that. help pitt the way it would have clemson apartment the other end. 5:30 to go, fourth quarter. third and ten. peterman lost one down the sideline. the timing off for jester weah but there is a flag. >> brian: wallace the coverage. >> referee: holding defense number 12. 10-yard penalty, first down. >> steve: let's take a look. i didn't see it. >> brian: all-out blitz. the safety came. and wallace has ma

>> steve: oh! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> steve: come on. >> jimmy: be sure to tune in for that. plus, we have michael shannon and miranda lambert will be joining us. it's a big show. [ cheers and applause ] then on friday, we have megyn kelly. she and i are playing a game of "box of lies." >> steve: ooh! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: but first, we have a a fantastic show tonight. he stars in the upcoming new hbo series, "the young pope." he's fantastic, i love that dude. >> steve: love him. >> jimmy: jude law is here ladies and gentlemen! >> steve: come on! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: he knows how to do it. >> steve: come on! >> jimmy: speaking of knows how to do it. from the number one new show of the season "this is us," sterling k. brown is stopping by! [ cheers and applause ] plays chris -- chris darden. and we got great new music from macklemore -- >> steve: yeah! >> jimmy: featuring ariana deboo! [ cheers and applause ] big show tonight. i can't get this out of my he