WEBVTT 00:00.000 --> 00:03.000 You're watching NBC 10. 00:03.000 --> 00:08.000 You're watching NBC, America's late night leader. 00:08.000 --> 00:15.000 From the NBC studios in Burlack, The Tonight Show with Jerry Ueno. 00:15.000 --> 00:21.000 Featuring Kevin Newbanks and The Tonight Show man, and me, I'm Ed Hall. 00:21.000 --> 00:26.000 Tonight, Jerry welcomes Jerry Seinfeld. 00:26.000 --> 00:30.000 A special mystery guest. 00:30.000 --> 00:33.000 And the music of brandy. 00:33.000 --> 01:02.000 And now, Jerry Ueno. 01:02.000 --> 01:30.000 Welcome. 01:30.000 --> 01:34.000 Thank you very much. As you know, tonight... 01:34.000 --> 01:36.000 Tonight, of course, is a... 01:36.000 --> 01:38.000 Next question. 01:38.000 --> 01:40.000 Tonight, of course, is a very big night in television. 01:40.000 --> 01:41.000 Let's do a little survey. 01:41.000 --> 01:45.000 How many of you watched the season finale of Promise Land, huh? 01:45.000 --> 01:50.000 Yeah, yeah. Oh, boy. 01:50.000 --> 01:53.000 As you know, tonight was the big final episode of Seinfeld, of course. 01:53.000 --> 01:56.000 And Jerry, of course, big believer in going out while you're on top, 01:56.000 --> 01:59.000 which is also President Clinton's philosophy. 01:59.000 --> 02:02.000 I was shocked. 02:02.000 --> 02:04.000 I was shocked. 02:04.000 --> 02:07.000 I was shocked how the Seinfeld show ended. 02:07.000 --> 02:10.000 I had no idea that Darth Vader was Jerry's father. 02:10.000 --> 02:12.000 It's amazing, you know, because you watch it and think, 02:12.000 --> 02:14.000 no, it couldn't be me. 02:14.000 --> 02:16.000 And of course, with Jerry on the show tonight, and our big mystery guest, 02:16.000 --> 02:18.000 you know, we had to do a triple security. 02:18.000 --> 02:20.000 You know, normally... 02:20.000 --> 02:22.000 Well, here, here's our security. We normally have... 02:22.000 --> 02:25.000 Hold on. We put on a couple more guys. 02:25.000 --> 02:27.000 Just to be sure. 02:27.000 --> 02:30.000 And here's Jerry with News 6. 02:30.000 --> 02:32.000 We have the Big Ten. 02:32.000 --> 02:34.000 That's nice. 02:34.000 --> 02:36.000 You know what's so funny, boy? 02:36.000 --> 02:39.000 You realize just what a show business town this is. 02:39.000 --> 02:41.000 I'm reading the paper this morning, 02:41.000 --> 02:43.000 and on the front page of the L.A. paper, 02:43.000 --> 02:45.000 the front page says, 02:45.000 --> 02:47.000 Count down to Seinfeld, Jerry's last show. 02:47.000 --> 02:49.000 Then there's another article about 02:49.000 --> 02:51.000 Jason Alexander getting some big movie deal. 02:51.000 --> 02:53.000 And this is true. 02:53.000 --> 02:56.000 Right on the bottom of the page, in little tiny letters, 02:56.000 --> 03:04.000 57! I go, oh, geez, somebody's got atomic weapons. Oh, and good news for the CIA, I guess today they finally located India on the map. 03:04.000 --> 03:07.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah. So good for them, yeah, good for them. 03:07.000 --> 03:21.000 Wow, good for them. Well, I guess, as you may know, Congress is furious that the CIA, our spy network, the biggest spy network in the world, 03:21.000 --> 03:29.000 didn't know anything about India sending off these atomic weapons. In fact, they said it was the worst failure of intelligence in Washington since Dan Quayle was sworn in. 03:29.000 --> 03:32.000 It's amazing. 03:32.000 --> 03:42.000 I guess India has, uh, yeah, well, I guess India's really shown that they can put the bomb in Bombay, huh? Yeah. 03:42.000 --> 03:47.000 Right now, Gandhi's going, yeah, let's kick ass, take names, yeah. 03:47.000 --> 03:54.000 Isn't Mother Teresa from there? Isn't Gandhi from there? See, I don't know why everyone's so surprised that India has figured out how to split the atom. 03:54.000 --> 04:02.000 That's relatively easy, actually. See what I want to know? How do they do that rope trick where it comes up out of the guy in the, huh? 04:02.000 --> 04:08.000 See, that's splitting the atom. That seems easy. Actually, watch out. 04:08.000 --> 04:19.000 Actually, I know how they do it. You know how they do the rope trick where they get the rope to stand up? You know how they do it? Viagra. 04:19.000 --> 04:26.000 Viagra. 04:26.000 --> 04:33.000 Actually, the big problem now with this Viagra, you know, the anti-impedance pill, a lot of people don't know how to classify it. Is it a drug? They don't know whether to call it a vitamin. 04:33.000 --> 04:42.000 You know, considering what most women say men think with, I think brain food might actually be a pretty good thing. 04:42.000 --> 04:51.000 You know what's interesting? Farmers just down in Mexico are making a fortune on Viagra because American men are going down there to buy it because it's 80% cheaper. 04:51.000 --> 04:56.000 Apparently, they don't need to do all the paperwork so they can sell it 80% cheaper, which sounds like a disaster to me, doesn't it? 04:56.000 --> 05:01.000 I mean, taking a Viagra pill, then washing it down with a glass of Mexican water, huh? 05:01.000 --> 05:04.000 You thought impotence was embarrassing. 05:04.000 --> 05:11.000 Viagra and Mexican water, you got one half pulling your body towards the bedroom, the other pulling towards the bathroom. Hey, hey, hey, hey! 05:11.000 --> 05:21.000 You know, where do you go with some of this? No! Actually, today. 05:21.000 --> 05:29.000 Today, health officials issued a warning with Viagra. They say women, listen to this, women, if you sleep with a man who's on Viagra, you're not only sleeping with him, 05:29.000 --> 05:33.000 you're sleeping with every woman he didn't sleep with for the past eight years. 05:33.000 --> 05:39.000 So don't go, just go nuts with this stuff. Something to keep in mind. 05:39.000 --> 05:45.000 And it was this week in 1940 that Britain's Winston Churchill in his first speech as Prime Minister told the House of Commons, 05:45.000 --> 05:50.000 I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears, and sweat. 05:50.000 --> 05:54.000 See, remember those days when blood, tears, and sweat were the only bodily fluids a politician had to offer? 05:54.000 --> 06:02.000 Remember those days? You see, you know, it's not like that. You see what I'm saying? You see what I'm saying? Those were the days. 06:02.000 --> 06:08.000 Well, I guess this just in from Germany, White House Press Secretary Mike McCurry says, 06:08.000 --> 06:14.000 President Clinton has seriously wrenched his back. I guess it happened the usual way, you know, trying to move two directions at once. 06:14.000 --> 06:20.000 And apparently that, you know, you do that and it's going to happen. Well, that's what happens. 06:20.000 --> 06:26.000 Oh, did you see that picture of the baby? I said, of President Clinton kissing his dog, Buddy, on the mouth. Did you see that? 06:26.000 --> 06:30.000 Well, now something. When I first saw it, I thought, oh, Clinton's hitting on Paula Jones again. 06:30.000 --> 06:41.000 Here we go again. 06:41.000 --> 06:47.000 Oh, here's something interesting. Cruise line operators report that hundreds of passengers are climbing up to the bow of cruise ships 06:47.000 --> 06:52.000 to recreate that scene with Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio. Remember that? In front of the Titanic thing? 06:52.000 --> 06:58.000 And you know Frank Gifford? He's just waiting for a chance to try this with Cassie Lee and one of those, you know, one of those carnival crews, 06:58.000 --> 07:03.000 think, don't worry, honey, I got you. Oh, I'm flying. That's right, honey. You are flying. Oh, I'm flying. 07:03.000 --> 07:10.000 Goodbye, honey. 07:10.000 --> 07:14.000 And what a, ooh, ooh, ooh. Today, two important anniversaries. No one will get this. 07:14.000 --> 07:19.000 See, with all the Seinfeld things, you've forgotten about Gabriel Fahrenheit. 07:19.000 --> 07:26.000 Gabriel Fahrenheit, the inventor of the mercury thermometer, was born on this date in 1686. 07:26.000 --> 07:34.000 And also, was also on this date in 1878 that Vaseline was invented. 07:34.000 --> 07:43.000 So, thermometers existed 200 years before Vaseline. That was a very painful 200 years. 07:43.000 --> 07:49.000 Let me tell you, let me tell you that. Ow, ow, ow. 07:49.000 --> 07:57.000 Folks, we have, we have got a, Kev, this is our big night, our big show with Jerry and I, where's that, where's that home? 07:57.000 --> 08:00.000 Oh, don't you know what happened to him through the opening announcement? 08:00.000 --> 08:04.000 No, I was busy preening in the mirror. I didn't, I didn't see what preening in the mirror. 08:04.000 --> 08:07.000 I was preening in the mirror, getting ready for the spectrum. You know, what happened? 08:07.000 --> 08:09.000 Oh, you should go get the security camera footage, man. 08:09.000 --> 08:11.000 You got footage of what happened? Yeah, Alan, you want to roll that? 08:11.000 --> 08:13.000 Alan, roll the security camera. What, what is this? 08:13.000 --> 08:21.000 The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, featuring Kevin Eubanks and the Tonight Show band. And me, I'm Ed Hall. 08:21.000 --> 08:23.000 You Ed Hall? Well, duh. 08:23.000 --> 08:25.000 You're under arrest. What? Hey, hey. 08:25.000 --> 08:28.000 You have the right to remain silent. I can't remain silent. I'm the announcer. 08:28.000 --> 08:30.000 Hey, fellas. Oh. 08:30.000 --> 08:35.000 What? Ed's been arrested? Yeah, man. I think it has something to do with that stupid dog he's hanging out with. 08:35.000 --> 08:36.000 This dog? Yeah. 08:36.000 --> 08:41.000 I can't let him languish in a jail cell. He'll just become somebody's boy toy or something. 08:41.000 --> 08:44.000 No, no, no. He's my boy toy. Wait, I've got to go. 08:44.000 --> 08:49.000 Hang on. Can you enter? I'm going to go down to the police precinct and just see what this is. 08:49.000 --> 08:52.000 Alan, turn on the camera outside. I'll be right back. Excuse me. 08:55.000 --> 08:58.000 It was an accident, Detective Murtaugh. I didn't mean to do it. 08:58.000 --> 09:02.000 An accident? You take a shot of me and you call it an accident? 09:02.000 --> 09:07.000 Hey, Rick, you hear that? Yeah, wait a minute, pal. I mean, you shoot at our tires, we crash into a bus stop. 09:07.000 --> 09:11.000 And we flip over twice and sideswipe a limo. Yeah, yeah, carrying Charles Nelson right. 09:11.000 --> 09:15.000 And we power into the dark bookstore, selling off our airbags. Yeah, plus 24 inflatable dollars. 09:15.000 --> 09:19.000 And you call it an accident? Well, yeah. Yeah? 09:19.000 --> 09:24.000 Ed, are you okay? Oh, man. You're never going to believe this. Wait a minute, wait a minute. 09:24.000 --> 09:27.000 Don't I know you guys? Rick, didn't we pull him over once for speeding? 09:27.000 --> 09:30.000 No, no, Roger. I think I would have remembered the chin. 09:30.000 --> 09:33.000 Anyway, your pal here shot at my car. What? 09:33.000 --> 09:38.000 Jay, I've been trying to tell these guys. I was sitting on my porch cleaning my gun. 09:38.000 --> 09:44.000 I put it down for a second and my dog Butch accidentally stepped on the trigger and went off. 09:44.000 --> 09:47.000 You've got to come up with a better one than that, Ed. Yeah, please, please. 09:47.000 --> 09:50.000 It's the truth, Jay. Look out, now he's near the car. 09:50.000 --> 09:55.000 Hey, get out of the way. Let's see how good Butchie Boy is. Come on, take your best shot there, fella. Come on, come on. 09:55.000 --> 10:00.000 Hit the deck! 10:12.000 --> 10:15.000 This dog couldn't have hit anybody as a lousy shot. 10:15.000 --> 10:18.000 Look. Let's go, buddy. 10:18.000 --> 10:21.000 Hey, what about my dog? I'll take care of your dog, Ed. 10:21.000 --> 10:26.000 These his biscuits here? No, they're mine. They prevent tartar. 10:26.000 --> 10:30.000 Come on. 10:45.000 --> 10:47.000 We've got a great show for you tonight. 10:47.000 --> 10:52.000 My first guest has been in the news just a little bit the last week. You may have read about his show's final episode. 10:52.000 --> 10:58.000 He is here tonight before he flies off to his fortress of solitude, Jerry Seinfeld. 11:04.000 --> 11:08.000 Our very first mystery guest. We've been trying to get this guy for like five years and we've had a lot of fun trying to... 11:08.000 --> 11:11.000 people trying to figure out who it is and getting calls all day. 11:11.000 --> 11:15.000 And a terrific 19-year-old Grammy-winning singer, Brandy, will perform as well. 11:15.000 --> 11:20.000 We'll be right back with Jay walking right after this. Say hello to Kevin Eubanks and the tonight's show is man. 11:32.000 --> 11:35.000 That's not happiness to see me, is it? He was waiting for me. 11:35.000 --> 11:38.000 He knows. You did not meet my wife by chance. 11:38.000 --> 11:42.000 What are you saying? It's a con and my wife is a grand prize. 11:42.000 --> 11:45.000 My what? You got a box big enough to hold half a million dollars. 11:45.000 --> 11:48.000 For? Killing my wife. 11:53.000 --> 11:55.000 That's not happiness to see me, is it? 11:55.000 --> 11:59.000 A perfect murder, rated R. Starts Friday, June 5th at a theater near you. 12:01.000 --> 12:03.000 Got your Bud Light? You can't hit my friend. 12:03.000 --> 12:11.000 Let's go. I'm thirsty. 12:18.000 --> 12:21.000 For the great taste that will fill you up and never let you down. 12:21.000 --> 12:24.000 Looks like you're buying. Make it a Bud Light. 12:24.000 --> 12:30.000 Coach is calling for the heat. 12:30.000 --> 12:38.000 This Friday, the sky will be dark because the stars are at the 25th anniversary of the Daytime Emmy Awards live. 12:38.000 --> 12:41.000 25 years of excitement. Oh baby. 12:41.000 --> 12:45.000 Friday, the 25th annual Daytime Emmy Awards live on NBC. 12:45.000 --> 12:50.000 Then, News 10 at 11 takes you behind the scenes of the Daytime Emmy Awards. 12:50.000 --> 12:52.000 See which stars were best dressed. 12:52.000 --> 12:54.000 Hear the big winners who stole the night. 12:54.000 --> 13:00.000 News 10 Sheila Allen-Stevens reports live behind the scenes tomorrow on News 10 at 11. 13:03.000 --> 13:05.000 They say let our family help your family. 13:05.000 --> 13:07.000 Sounds like a good idea about healthcare. 13:07.000 --> 13:09.000 It tells me they're a team. 13:09.000 --> 13:11.000 It reminds me of something I know from experience. 13:11.000 --> 13:14.000 They understand what it's like to take care of two kids. 13:14.000 --> 13:15.000 And one on the way. 13:15.000 --> 13:16.000 Plus mommy and dad. 13:16.000 --> 13:18.000 It shows me they're real people. 13:18.000 --> 13:20.000 And they deal with real problems. 13:20.000 --> 13:22.000 And that's why we trust Christianity Care. 13:22.000 --> 13:24.000 We feel good about them. 13:24.000 --> 13:25.000 Christianity Care. 13:25.000 --> 13:26.000 They're like family. 13:33.000 --> 13:36.000 Integrity is the foundation. 13:36.000 --> 13:39.000 Humanity is the stone. 13:39.000 --> 13:41.000 Compassion is the mortar. 13:41.000 --> 13:44.000 Strength is the steel. 13:44.000 --> 13:47.000 These are the values that built this company. 13:47.000 --> 13:53.000 These are the values behind the products we offer and the services we provide. 13:53.000 --> 14:01.000 For more than 150 years, these are the values that have made New York life the company you keep. 14:11.000 --> 14:16.000 The big movie of the box office right now is this deep impact where a comet smashes into the earth. 14:16.000 --> 14:18.000 Well next month they've got another one. 14:18.000 --> 14:20.000 This Armageddon, you know, this Bruce Willis one. 14:20.000 --> 14:22.000 That's going to be another huge hit. 14:22.000 --> 14:24.000 But the audiences go to see science fiction films. 14:24.000 --> 14:26.000 They know what they're looking at. 14:26.000 --> 14:29.000 Does the average person know the difference between a comet and a planet? 14:29.000 --> 14:32.000 What galaxy do we live in? 14:32.000 --> 14:33.000 Milky Way. 14:33.000 --> 14:35.000 That's an easy question, isn't it? 14:35.000 --> 14:38.000 We're going down to Melrose Avenue right here in Hollywood. 14:38.000 --> 14:39.000 Talk to people. 14:39.000 --> 14:41.000 We ask you, do they go to these science fiction films? 14:41.000 --> 14:42.000 Do they know what they're looking at? 14:42.000 --> 14:44.000 Do they know this simple question? 14:44.000 --> 14:46.000 Do they know what's in our solar system? 14:46.000 --> 14:48.000 Here's what they had to say. 14:48.000 --> 14:51.000 Fly me to the moon. 14:51.000 --> 14:55.000 Let me play among the stars. 14:55.000 --> 14:57.000 What is our galaxy called? 14:57.000 --> 15:02.000 Galaxy 500. 15:02.000 --> 15:05.000 No, that's a Ford car. 15:05.000 --> 15:07.000 And you guys are graduating high school this week? 15:07.000 --> 15:09.000 No, it's June 16. 15:09.000 --> 15:10.000 June 16. 15:10.000 --> 15:12.000 So you should know a lot of stuff. 15:12.000 --> 15:13.000 We know a lot. 15:13.000 --> 15:20.000 What is our galaxy called? 15:20.000 --> 15:22.000 I am... 15:22.000 --> 15:24.000 It's also a candy bar. 15:24.000 --> 15:27.000 What is our galaxy called? 15:27.000 --> 15:29.000 Ah, no, I'm sorry. 15:29.000 --> 15:30.000 That's wrong. 15:30.000 --> 15:32.000 I don't remember. 15:32.000 --> 15:34.000 Okay, let me give you a hint. 15:34.000 --> 15:37.000 It's the name of a candy bar. 15:37.000 --> 15:38.000 Babe Ruth. 15:38.000 --> 15:40.000 The Babe Ruth. 15:40.000 --> 15:42.000 Yes, it's the Babe Ruth galaxy. 15:42.000 --> 15:44.000 How many planets are there in our solar system? 15:44.000 --> 15:46.000 There's like, what, 12 to 50? 15:46.000 --> 15:47.000 I don't know. 15:47.000 --> 15:49.000 12 to 50 is quite a ring. 15:49.000 --> 15:52.000 How many planets are there in our solar system? 15:52.000 --> 15:54.000 I'll have to say 100. 15:54.000 --> 15:56.000 I don't know. 15:56.000 --> 15:59.000 Did I hear you just graduated college? 15:59.000 --> 16:02.000 I did, but I didn't study astronomy. 16:02.000 --> 16:05.000 How many planets are there in our solar system? 16:05.000 --> 16:08.000 Oh, I want to say 12. 16:08.000 --> 16:09.000 Seven? 16:09.000 --> 16:11.000 How do you say no in German? 16:11.000 --> 16:13.000 Da. 16:13.000 --> 16:15.000 Da? 16:15.000 --> 16:17.000 I don't know German. 16:17.000 --> 16:18.000 No, nine. 16:18.000 --> 16:19.000 Nine? Oh, I was close. 16:19.000 --> 16:20.000 How many planets are there? 16:20.000 --> 16:21.000 Nine. 16:21.000 --> 16:22.000 All right, what's your name? 16:22.000 --> 16:23.000 Eugene. 16:23.000 --> 16:24.000 Eugene, you're from Chicago. 16:24.000 --> 16:25.000 Chicago, the Bulls. 16:25.000 --> 16:26.000 That's right, which is in Chicago? 16:26.000 --> 16:28.000 Which constellation is the Bulls? 16:28.000 --> 16:32.000 Uh, you got me. 16:32.000 --> 16:34.000 There's a car named after it, the Ford. 16:34.000 --> 16:37.000 Oh, uh, the Mustang. 16:37.000 --> 16:39.000 What do you do for a living? 16:39.000 --> 16:41.000 I'm a developer at the Adler Planetarium. 16:41.000 --> 16:42.000 Oh, so you work in a planetarium? 16:42.000 --> 16:43.000 This is perfect. 16:43.000 --> 16:46.000 Which of our planets is furthest from the sun? 16:46.000 --> 16:48.000 Jupiter. 16:48.000 --> 16:51.000 I mean, uh, the, the, the, Pluto, Pluto, Pluto. 16:51.000 --> 16:54.000 What planet is furthest from the sun? 16:54.000 --> 16:56.000 Venus. 16:56.000 --> 16:58.000 Mars. 16:58.000 --> 17:00.000 All right, what's the name of Mickey Mouse's dog? 17:00.000 --> 17:03.000 Goofy. 17:03.000 --> 17:05.000 Okay, which of the following is not a constellation? 17:05.000 --> 17:06.000 X-Men. 17:06.000 --> 17:09.000 Sammy the Bull, Aries the Ram, Scorpius the Scorpion. 17:09.000 --> 17:11.000 Scorpius the Scorpion? 17:11.000 --> 17:13.000 No, it'd be Sammy the Bull. 17:13.000 --> 17:14.000 Sammy the Bull, okay, no, God. 17:14.000 --> 17:17.000 Okay, which of the following is not a constellation? 17:17.000 --> 17:23.000 Aries the Ram, Sammy the Bull, Scorpius the Scorpion. 17:23.000 --> 17:24.000 The middle one. 17:24.000 --> 17:25.000 Which one? 17:25.000 --> 17:26.000 Do you agree? 17:26.000 --> 17:27.000 Sammy the Bull. 17:27.000 --> 17:28.000 Sammy the Bull. 17:28.000 --> 17:29.000 Who's Sammy the Bull? 17:29.000 --> 17:30.000 Sounds like a beanie baby. 17:30.000 --> 17:31.000 A beanie baby? 17:31.000 --> 17:33.000 You use a real beanie baby. 17:33.000 --> 17:34.000 What is a comet exactly? 17:34.000 --> 17:43.000 A comet is a burning star which, uh, due to the physics, when it's revolving, um, it blows 17:43.000 --> 17:46.000 up and, and it's, it's, in our case, coming towards the Earth. 17:46.000 --> 17:48.000 And it could, and it's, can, it's, uh. 17:48.000 --> 17:49.000 What did you say? 17:49.000 --> 17:50.000 According to the physics, it's revolving? 17:50.000 --> 17:53.000 Yeah, it's doing, uh, a circular motion in space. 17:53.000 --> 17:54.000 Yeah. 17:54.000 --> 17:58.000 And then, uh, it reaches, uh, too high of a barometric pressure. 17:58.000 --> 17:59.000 And then. 17:59.000 --> 18:01.000 Barometric pressure in space? 18:01.000 --> 18:03.000 And then, uh, it gets really hot and, and. 18:03.000 --> 18:04.000 Do you have any idea what you're talking about? 18:04.000 --> 18:06.000 Well, it's been a while since I've had physics. 18:06.000 --> 18:07.000 Uh-uh. 18:07.000 --> 18:08.000 How many miles away is the moon? 18:08.000 --> 18:09.000 Oh, I learned this. 18:09.000 --> 18:10.000 Go ahead. 18:10.000 --> 18:11.000 It's something to a power. 18:11.000 --> 18:12.000 Times ten to the something. 18:12.000 --> 18:13.000 No, no. 18:13.000 --> 18:14.000 How many miles does it go? 18:14.000 --> 18:15.000 You always have these, how many miles is it? 18:15.000 --> 18:16.000 I'm getting close. 18:16.000 --> 18:17.000 Where do stars go in the daytime? 18:17.000 --> 18:18.000 Now, you're a college graduate. 18:18.000 --> 18:19.000 You just graduated in college. 18:19.000 --> 18:20.000 Stars go in the daytime. 18:20.000 --> 18:21.000 They're underneath us because the sun's shining. 18:21.000 --> 18:22.000 Stars go underneath us? 18:22.000 --> 18:23.000 Hey, which is bigger, the sun or the moon? 18:23.000 --> 18:24.000 The moon. 18:24.000 --> 18:25.000 The moon. 18:25.000 --> 18:26.000 The moon. 18:26.000 --> 18:27.000 The moon. 18:27.000 --> 18:28.000 The moon. 18:28.000 --> 18:29.000 The moon. 18:29.000 --> 18:30.000 The moon. 18:30.000 --> 18:31.000 The moon. 18:31.000 --> 18:34.000 The moon. 18:34.000 --> 18:39.000 The moon. 18:39.000 --> 18:40.000 The moon. 18:40.000 --> 18:41.000 The moon. 18:41.000 --> 18:42.000 The moon. 18:42.000 --> 18:43.000 The moon. 18:43.000 --> 18:44.000 At which point? 18:44.000 --> 18:45.000 At which point? 18:45.000 --> 18:46.000 At this point? 18:46.000 --> 18:47.000 Which is bigger, the sun or the moon? 18:47.000 --> 18:48.000 Hm. 18:48.000 --> 18:49.000 Could be a trick question. 18:49.000 --> 18:50.000 Which moon, which moon? 18:50.000 --> 18:51.000 We have a lot of them. 18:51.000 --> 18:52.000 We only have one moon. 18:52.000 --> 18:53.000 Not us personally, but... 18:53.000 --> 18:54.000 I'm not talking about, I'm not talking about Rydel VII or Star Trek IX. 18:54.000 --> 18:55.000 Our moon, which is bigger, the sun or the moon? 18:55.000 --> 18:56.000 Hm. 18:56.000 --> 18:57.000 The sun's light radius or the actual moon. 18:57.000 --> 19:01.560 Which is bigger, physically bigger, the sun or the moon? 19:01.560 --> 19:03.880 I would say the moon. 19:03.880 --> 19:05.520 Yeah, because I think it's a trick question. 19:05.520 --> 19:06.920 Yeah, I would say the moon. 19:06.920 --> 19:08.960 Your answer is the moon. 19:08.960 --> 19:11.720 The moon is bigger than the sun. 19:11.720 --> 19:13.120 Hooray. 19:13.120 --> 19:14.560 Yeah! 19:14.560 --> 19:17.080 You can't go wrong. 19:17.080 --> 19:35.080 We'll be right back with Jerry Seinfeld right after this. 19:35.080 --> 19:37.680 Comments are still hitting for her. 19:37.680 --> 19:42.880 Time Magazine says Deep Impact is a disaster movie that's believable. 19:42.880 --> 19:44.400 It's excellent. 19:44.400 --> 19:49.160 Gene Schallet calls it intelligent with tension and heart-squeezing emotion. 19:49.160 --> 19:51.160 This movie has involved. 19:51.160 --> 19:57.560 And the New York Times reads Deep Impact special effects are elaborate and impressive. 19:57.560 --> 19:59.360 Four stars. 19:59.360 --> 20:01.360 Deep Impact. 20:01.360 --> 20:02.360 Rated PG-13. 20:02.360 --> 20:06.360 Now playing in theaters everywhere. 20:06.360 --> 20:10.000 Looking for an alternator for your accord or calipers for your camry? 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22:37.920 --> 22:48.920 Jerry's Time, fellas, on the way out. 22:48.920 --> 22:50.480 Our mystery guest is here as well. 22:50.480 --> 22:52.840 I think you'll be pleasantly surprised at our mystery guest. 22:52.840 --> 22:54.800 It's not a joke, big time mystery guest. 22:54.800 --> 22:56.960 Any other night, it'll be a huge guest. 22:56.960 --> 22:59.080 And of course, Brandy will perform as well. 22:59.080 --> 23:00.080 It's a good show tonight. 23:00.080 --> 23:03.880 Earlier this evening, you watched my first guest star in the very last episode of what 23:03.880 --> 23:07.240 has become probably the biggest show, certainly one of the biggest shows in the history of 23:07.240 --> 23:34.240 television, the one and the only, my old friend Jerry Seinfeld. 23:34.240 --> 23:39.940 Yeah. 23:39.940 --> 23:54.120 That's right. 23:54.120 --> 23:56.120 all right 24:02.780 --> 24:04.780 Thank you 24:11.640 --> 24:13.640 They think you're a springer 24:13.640 --> 24:20.840 Let me add to something I'll do one more season come on 24:20.840 --> 24:28.840 Oh 24:37.560 --> 24:39.560 No, it's too late it's too late 24:41.600 --> 24:43.960 Well, let's get right to it now, okay 24:44.960 --> 24:48.160 Hang on. All right. Let's get you got the you got the biggest show on TV 24:48.160 --> 24:53.220 Critical success critical rating success rating success huge dough 24:53.880 --> 24:55.880 You quit you're on your top of the game 24:56.400 --> 24:58.400 What the hell were you thinking? 25:00.320 --> 25:03.140 Jay I was driving down Sunset. She looked 18 25:03.140 --> 25:08.940 I was just giving her a lift 25:15.740 --> 25:17.940 Well prostitutes need lips 25:21.380 --> 25:23.640 Prospect can get where they need to go now 25:23.640 --> 25:27.380 You know, I was thinking about this because we've known each other more than 20 years more than 20 years 25:27.380 --> 25:29.940 Yeah, and we used to see each other every day now in the nine years 25:29.940 --> 25:37.420 I've probably seen you 12 times in nine years writing producing directing starring in the show. Yeah, are you tired? 25:38.060 --> 25:41.860 I'm exhausted. I'm exhausted. In fact and after 25:42.380 --> 25:44.660 This I'm going on a tour. I'm going to Australia 25:45.180 --> 25:51.220 And to to Europe to start doing stand-up comedy again, and I feel that I need 25:51.820 --> 25:54.460 Some kind of break from being funny 25:56.580 --> 25:58.580 I have been funny 25:58.580 --> 26:00.580 every day 26:01.060 --> 26:03.060 For nine years 26:03.540 --> 26:05.540 That's exhausted 26:10.580 --> 26:15.700 Well, he I was funny, you know when we're writing you have to be funny when you're acting you have to be funny 26:15.700 --> 26:20.780 Sure, and before I go out on the tour, I feel that I need a break and I so I thought maybe today I 26:21.220 --> 26:26.100 Could take a little funny rest. Do you want to I would like to not be funny 26:26.100 --> 26:31.220 For one day. Well, that's all right. No, that's fine. That's fine. You can take you certainly intend blue break 26:31.220 --> 26:35.660 Can I ask a couple of questions? You can ask me anything you want, but I know just not no 26:35.660 --> 26:41.300 I'm not gonna talk about being fun. I'm tired of being funny. You know, I can understand that 26:41.300 --> 26:43.620 I know you you you fly on planes a lot, right? 26:45.180 --> 26:47.420 You fly yeah, yeah, I fly on planes 26:49.460 --> 26:54.820 Let me ask you something about flying you have any experiences flying that really annoying 26:54.820 --> 26:56.820 You know, I'm talking about the sticks in your crown 26:58.340 --> 27:01.620 Yeah, I guess when you fly things that irritate you yeah 27:03.620 --> 27:08.420 I mean, what are some things that would irritate you? I'm curious to see if this simul- 27:08.420 --> 27:10.420 I'm trying to take a rest 27:10.420 --> 27:12.420 No, no, yeah, I'm just asking 27:12.420 --> 27:16.260 Well, I hate when the pilots come on the PA system and they tell you we're going over this we're going over that 27:16.260 --> 27:18.260 Why don't they just shut up and drive? 27:19.300 --> 27:21.300 Please people, please 27:21.300 --> 27:25.700 Do I go knocking on the cockpit door saying am I telling him what I'm doing we're eating the peanuts now 27:28.420 --> 27:30.420 No, I'm trying to rest 27:34.420 --> 27:40.580 I really don't know I can understand talk about something will change it forget forget airplane 27:41.620 --> 27:44.900 I know when you do a show like you is a lot of a lot of commercials, right? 27:47.380 --> 27:49.380 Yeah, this commercial 27:49.380 --> 27:54.820 Yeah, this commercial when you're on network TV, there's a lot of commercials on you just you can't help but see them, right? 27:54.820 --> 27:57.700 No, you can't you can't help but see commercials. Yeah. Well, let me ask you this 27:57.700 --> 28:00.820 Are there any commercials that just really annoy you? You know what I'm saying? 28:01.300 --> 28:03.780 You don't want to just kind of stick. Well, I guess there's a few 28:03.860 --> 28:09.620 I mean some of them are pretty stupid. Don't you think I don't know can I can't can you think of the ginsu knife commercial? 28:10.900 --> 28:13.060 Do you need a knife that can cut through a shoe and a can? 28:13.060 --> 28:15.060 I 28:21.380 --> 28:23.380 I'm trying to rest 28:24.180 --> 28:27.620 I will look well forget that. All right, forget that like when you want to relax 28:28.660 --> 28:30.660 What do you do? I think I read you were 28:31.460 --> 28:36.260 Did you go skydiving? I did go skydiving. That seems exciting. Was there anything odd about that? 28:39.940 --> 28:41.940 He won't let me rest 28:41.940 --> 28:45.220 Well, I don't understand why skydivers wear helmets 28:49.140 --> 28:51.540 Yeah, I mean, I mean can you almost make it 28:54.340 --> 29:00.660 I think if you jump out of that plane and the chute doesn't open the helmet is now wearing you 29:03.060 --> 29:07.860 You're protecting the helmet now later on the helmets talking with the other helmets going it's a good thing 29:07.860 --> 29:09.860 He was there. I would have hit the ground directly 29:09.860 --> 29:11.860 I would have hit the ground 29:12.100 --> 29:15.220 Why don't you take a little break you relax for a minute or so 29:15.220 --> 29:18.680 We'll take a little break so you can relax. Thank you more with jerry right after this be right back 29:28.420 --> 29:33.460 Bob joe gatti want you to know where we are in this deal. Oh leo joe gatti clear across america 29:33.860 --> 29:37.140 The one name people still rely on is cellular warning 29:37.140 --> 29:42.180 Instead. Yeah. Okay, dad. You can use the phone now. Oh, okay. Thanks, honey 29:43.460 --> 29:45.460 From the creators of get shorty 29:45.780 --> 29:50.280 Witness the robbery your first time being held up. You're doing great kidnapping 29:52.740 --> 29:57.640 And other criminal acts out of sight made it all starts june 26th 29:57.640 --> 30:01.640 First 30:03.160 --> 30:09.720 Wendy's introduces the most delicious combination ever put in a chicken sandwich our new honey ham and chicken 30:09.880 --> 30:13.160 Hey jerry when you finish the show come on over. I made two 30:13.960 --> 30:15.960 Do you want me to go to las vegas at once? 30:16.280 --> 30:21.480 Three days get in two nights. This is my last drink one city. We can't stop here 30:22.120 --> 30:25.000 This is a bad country fear and loathing in las vegas 30:25.000 --> 30:28.520 Yes, if strange ends rated r starts may 22nd 30:29.320 --> 30:36.120 Tonight on conan everyone will be watching can I watch conan on your tv plus all these shows of age rossi o'donnell and from 30:36.120 --> 30:38.840 Seinfeld patrick puddy warburton so don't change that dial 30:39.400 --> 30:44.680 Tonight on later with rita sever olympic gold medal skiers johnny mosley and eric for gust show rita the basics 30:46.520 --> 30:48.920 Uh, what's below the basics tonight? 30:48.920 --> 30:55.320 18 the tire guy says four tires for 79 dollars. I say what kind are they he says 30:55.560 --> 31:00.360 That's a very good question only avalino's gives you out the door pricing no extras ever 31:00.680 --> 31:06.040 The tire guy says you're getting them for wholesale. I say what about all the extras? Those are wholesale too 31:06.440 --> 31:12.920 Sure, only avalino's gives you out the door pricing no extras ever the tire guy says tire disposals extra 31:13.000 --> 31:15.400 What do you want us to do with your old tires extra? 31:15.400 --> 31:20.120 So I told him where to put them only avalino's gives you out the door pricing no extras ever 31:21.320 --> 31:28.200 Doctor we need your prognosis reds good triglycerides. I could probably get it down triphenol manzine hard to tell without seeing it 31:28.820 --> 31:31.240 Trisection doctor we need your decision 31:32.360 --> 31:34.360 Tri-cuspid that's it 31:36.440 --> 31:38.440 Oh no 31:38.440 --> 31:42.380 9, oh three in one thing try classifieds 31:42.620 --> 31:49.260 It's one powerful ad in three powerful places to place your ad call 1-800-341-3413 31:51.500 --> 31:55.580 Closing time open all the doors 31:55.580 --> 32:02.620 Is where the story ends don't you 32:04.380 --> 32:06.380 Forget about me 32:21.820 --> 32:23.820 My brothers 32:23.820 --> 32:26.300 Can be a little maybe they're not coming 32:27.980 --> 32:30.620 Picky protective quick to judge she said 32:31.740 --> 32:33.180 so 32:33.180 --> 32:35.340 When you meet them 32:35.340 --> 32:38.620 Just make sure here you go. That's looking beer in the house 32:39.500 --> 32:42.220 You look smart guys. What'll it be? 32:44.700 --> 32:49.820 Molder richer creamier killian's irish red one look says a lot 32:49.820 --> 32:54.480 Of the exclusive earth watch flyby only on news 10 32:59.660 --> 33:01.980 All righty talking with uh 33:03.100 --> 33:10.300 Jerry seinfeld look actually besides being comedy look that's comedy history. Is that yes it is show those right these are uh 33:11.020 --> 33:16.300 These are george bern's cufflinks. Yeah, you see the to see the gb and the hundred 33:16.300 --> 33:18.300 Yeah 33:20.620 --> 33:22.620 Well, let me ask you a question now 33:23.180 --> 33:26.060 Seriously now, I mean everybody's been teasing you. I mean, how does it feel now? 33:26.140 --> 33:31.980 You you don't go to work. The set is kind of busted up everybody's I mean they've cleared everything out 33:33.180 --> 33:37.500 I mean, I mean, are you sad? Do you feel sad? No, I feel I i'm really first of all 33:37.500 --> 33:39.500 I am amazed by what has been going on 33:40.300 --> 33:42.700 The past week. I mean, can you imagine? 33:43.340 --> 33:45.340 What it's been like for me? 33:45.340 --> 33:47.820 I mean, i'm sick of myself 33:51.420 --> 33:55.340 I mean, this is like I know I mean I love the show nobody loves the show more than me 33:55.420 --> 34:00.000 But the the excitement and i'm and it's really only now that i'm realizing 34:00.700 --> 34:05.660 What how how many people the the show touched and how many that they liked it, you know, and that's all it was ever 34:09.340 --> 34:12.380 Have you uh, but it was uh, you know 34:12.380 --> 34:18.620 I i'm really just amazingly lucky person that I got involved with the people that I got involved with 34:18.940 --> 34:22.540 Jason and julia and michael and larry david and there were so many 34:23.900 --> 34:25.900 Yeah 34:26.860 --> 34:31.820 Because uh, there was one night I always think back on when we were shooting the episode the parking garage 34:31.900 --> 34:33.900 Do you remember the one where we got lost in the 34:35.260 --> 34:38.940 And it was a very difficult show to shoot we we actually built that 34:38.940 --> 34:43.660 That garage on our set we took out all the sets and we plastered the walls and put up mirrors and we 34:43.980 --> 34:45.980 We faked the whole thing and it was really difficult 34:46.460 --> 34:48.620 And we didn't really have an end to the show 34:49.100 --> 34:51.340 And we were walking it was like three o'clock in the morning 34:51.340 --> 34:57.340 We were doing the last shot where we all get back in the kramer's car and he turns the key and the car doesn't start 34:57.900 --> 34:59.660 Which was not in the script 34:59.660 --> 35:02.780 And if you ever see the episode you can see the three of us 35:02.780 --> 35:08.960 We were laughing because we realized that this is the perfect ending to the episode 35:09.440 --> 35:11.920 And I think we always had that little bit of 35:12.640 --> 35:15.360 Magical fortune with the show. I mean it had a great 35:16.480 --> 35:21.120 Just a great streak and I didn't want to take it beyond that point because I felt that we were 35:21.680 --> 35:25.040 Just less than lucky to be doing something that came out so good 35:25.200 --> 35:29.040 Right now have you saved anything from i've saved everything. Yeah, you take everything 35:29.040 --> 35:34.800 I I have everything I have the entire set because I am the only character that is going to continue on 35:38.000 --> 35:40.000 Well, that's right, yeah, you know 35:41.200 --> 35:43.760 I am still I am still having episodes 35:44.880 --> 35:52.000 In my actual it's my real life. So so I thought if I ever needed that set if I wanted to do a show I could do it 35:52.640 --> 35:56.560 Well, how about like the smithsonian did they I mean, how do they have archie bunker's chair? 35:56.560 --> 35:59.600 Yeah, did they contact you the smithsonian did contact us? 36:00.000 --> 36:06.560 But the smithsonian doesn't guarantee what they're gonna do with it. So i'm picturing like that last scene of raiders of the lost ark 36:08.080 --> 36:10.080 Huge thing 36:12.240 --> 36:17.800 So I want to make sure it's on display somewhere so I'm holding on to it until I can find a place that people will see it 36:17.800 --> 36:23.920 Now, how about how about mom? How's mom? How's mom do I mom in a while? She's great. She's going nuts over this 36:23.920 --> 36:27.840 She excited no, my mom is not going nuts. My mom is cool. I think that's where I got it from. Yeah 36:28.720 --> 36:30.720 She does not get overexcited 36:30.960 --> 36:35.200 But uh, and but she doesn't really understand either. I know what's going on 36:37.120 --> 36:41.760 When we were shooting this last episode we had a scene that took place in a little town in massachusetts 36:41.760 --> 36:46.080 So she said, uh, well, are you going to take the whole crew to massachusetts and the actors? 36:46.400 --> 36:49.520 I don't know. They just build a set and then we shoot it there 36:49.520 --> 36:53.360 And then I tell her i'm thinking of taking a vacation in hawaii. She says why go to hawaii? 36:53.360 --> 36:55.360 You know, they have places in la 36:55.600 --> 36:57.760 That they've built to look just like hawaii 36:58.880 --> 37:02.640 So for the show she wants me to travel for my real life. She wants me to go to a set 37:04.400 --> 37:06.400 Well, I always remember uh 37:07.360 --> 37:09.360 There was 37:09.440 --> 37:13.360 There was nothing funnier to me than I remember you got your mom a new car like a mercedes or something 37:13.600 --> 37:17.680 And she and these three other girls were all like 80. Yeah driving across the country 37:17.680 --> 37:21.200 Yeah, and they showed up at the improv. They were like it's like thumb and louise 37:22.560 --> 37:27.520 Remember that the mother was smiling. She's popping with these other two girls. They're all like 80 37:27.680 --> 37:29.760 It was they were 80 years old. Well, they're still 80 37:31.200 --> 37:34.160 And they got stopped for speeding in texas doing 80 37:35.760 --> 37:39.440 And I thought it seems like you should be able to go your age, you know what I mean? 37:41.520 --> 37:44.320 If you could live that long they should let you drive that fast 37:44.320 --> 37:46.320 Yes 37:53.360 --> 37:56.720 Are you really going to hawaii on a vacation I was thinking of going to hawaii. Yes, jay 37:56.880 --> 38:02.000 Oh, you're not gonna go to hawaii. No, i'm not going to hawaii. I don't know what what i'm afraid of getting a tan 38:02.880 --> 38:05.600 Because i've never seen anyone funny and tan 38:09.520 --> 38:12.880 So i'm a little worried about that well now i'm gonna you're moving to new york yes 38:12.880 --> 38:17.520 Yes, now you you you bought an apartment, right? Yeah, I bought a apartment but in new york 38:17.600 --> 38:21.040 You know you go into these buildings and you have to be approved to live there by the board 38:21.200 --> 38:24.400 No, no, who is this board exactly? Well, I don't know who they are 38:25.040 --> 38:30.320 But they if they have to like you and here I am doing this show and I got 30 million people a week that say 38:30.400 --> 38:34.720 They like it and now I got these eight people that are going to decide all over again 38:36.560 --> 38:39.360 So like, you know, you dress up in a suit and tie and I go in there 38:39.360 --> 38:43.840 And they're like, what am I doing here? You know, it's like yeah, it's like a job interview to live 38:46.480 --> 38:48.480 And then i'm thinking and 38:48.480 --> 38:53.520 This in this type of building there's only two apartments on each floor. So you don't bump into anyone in the hallway 38:53.840 --> 38:59.920 It's just really the space from the elevator to the front door, which is about 20 feet. So here I am in an interview 39:01.520 --> 39:07.300 To see if I can make that experience in the lobby when we pass a good experience 39:07.300 --> 39:08.740 Thanks 39:08.740 --> 39:13.140 What what do they want from me? You know what I mean? Hi. Hi. All right. He's good. Let's get him in the building 39:13.860 --> 39:15.860 Now let's practice that walkway once again 39:17.140 --> 39:21.380 Well, i'm very proud of you old buddy. Thanks, you know, you know, you know, i'm most proud of you've always stayed 39:21.780 --> 39:25.780 A stand-up we all started a stand-up comedian other guys go up and do things and and you still did that 39:25.780 --> 39:37.540 And I know you're going off to do this hbo special and everything else. So god bless you buddy. You had a great ride 39:56.740 --> 39:58.740 Adrenaline rushing 40:00.580 --> 40:02.580 Hearts pounding 40:03.460 --> 40:09.540 Heavy breathing it's almost as much fun as your first date 40:09.540 --> 40:24.500 Late royal caribbean like no vacation on earth 40:39.540 --> 40:41.540 So 40:58.820 --> 41:01.620 Born free to follow your heart 41:01.620 --> 41:10.020 Born free and life is worth living 41:11.460 --> 41:13.460 Because you're born 41:17.460 --> 41:24.660 On june 12, are these really necessary only if we crash harrison forward mayday mayday it's the beach 41:25.300 --> 41:28.520 What are we like shipwrecked but this trip to paradise 41:28.520 --> 41:37.320 No, no, no, we got company no vacation. I just want one thing to go right from director iven rightman comes the ultimate summer escape 41:41.960 --> 41:46.440 Six days seven nights rated pg-13 escape june 12 41:48.360 --> 41:52.680 Saturday the pretender season finale center's going to make another pretender 41:52.680 --> 42:00.440 Where am I a race to save a boy exposes secrets tell me about my parents who killed my mother as fates collide 42:03.240 --> 42:07.000 The incredible season finale the pretender nbc saturday night 42:07.960 --> 42:11.340 Now from sesame place. It's the super grover of adventure 42:13.640 --> 42:20.200 Sorry joining super grover on this supersonic family coaster blasting into orbit cruising at warp speed 42:20.200 --> 42:26.280 I'm plunging back to earth plunging and it's a super way to dry off after sky 42:27.380 --> 42:34.360 Especially if you are furry, it's vapor trail our first ever coaster. So now get wet get wild and get 42:38.040 --> 42:45.240 What is your favorite hot dog member baseball games cookout your best childhood friend the 4th of july lunch with your mom 42:45.240 --> 42:51.400 We'll bite into a deetson watson hot dog and taste how good a hot dog can be and feel all those memories come rushing back 42:51.640 --> 42:55.160 From our famous deli franks to our beef franks to our gourmet light franks 42:55.320 --> 43:01.160 All are made from fresh lean beef and pork and without msg or poultry fillings our special seasonings and spices 43:01.320 --> 43:07.580 Give our franks that great deetson watson flavor ask for deetson watson franks a memory could be just a bite away 43:11.560 --> 43:13.560 Alrighty 43:13.560 --> 43:19.080 It's time for the mystery guest. He is the editor in chief of this fine magazine george 43:20.520 --> 43:22.520 The nation's largest political magazine 43:22.600 --> 43:27.400 Uh here in the editor george have a new book out just came out today the book of political lists very funny very interesting 43:27.400 --> 43:43.400 Please welcome john f kennedy jr 43:51.960 --> 43:53.960 Well, thanks for coming 43:53.960 --> 43:55.960 Uh 43:56.680 --> 44:00.520 We we try to keep it a mystery here, so you did a very good job. Thank you 44:02.200 --> 44:05.880 Thank you for coming out. I I know you don't usually do these kind of shows so it's a thrill to have you here now 44:06.120 --> 44:09.560 I know you're a new yorker jerry's moving to new york any uh chips 44:13.160 --> 44:15.160 There's this great suit place 44:19.240 --> 44:21.240 How is the service 44:21.240 --> 44:24.600 He's he's a ill-tempered kind of i'll check it out 44:27.080 --> 44:29.480 Let me add I gotta tell you I you you've 44:30.760 --> 44:34.040 My judgment in following mr. Seinfeld on the biggest night in tv 44:34.520 --> 44:38.840 Uh, they always tell you in politics. You gotta watch who you follow. So I don't know what I was thinking 44:38.920 --> 44:42.040 It's a great honor to be here. Well, it's an honor to have you this night. Yeah 44:42.680 --> 44:48.520 Let me now you were once you know, you weren't on seinfeld but you were portrayed right my elbow. I think it was 44:48.520 --> 44:55.320 Yeah, yeah, we had the you were in the famous contest episode. Yeah, well, that's right with the very idea 45:00.760 --> 45:02.760 It's funny because I I 45:03.320 --> 45:06.120 I hadn't seen the episode and I come out of my house in the morning 45:06.680 --> 45:07.480 and 45:07.480 --> 45:10.760 Everyone is like yelling across the street and i'm walking to work 45:10.840 --> 45:17.080 You know, I was a district attorney then and people are driving by in their cars and honking. I'm going what what what the hell is going on here? 45:17.080 --> 45:21.880 So I walk in and you know every as people start to say, oh, you know, I saw you last night 45:21.880 --> 45:24.920 Were you on seinfeld? We're on sign. I said no. No, what was everyone talking about? 45:24.920 --> 45:31.080 so they explained it and then I I had a trial and I walk I walk into the court and 45:31.640 --> 45:34.780 The defendant is sitting there over there and he goes you were on seinfeld 45:36.920 --> 45:40.760 And I was like no no i'm on seinfeld he leans over his lawyer and he goes 45:40.760 --> 45:46.760 The guy's an actor too. No wonder he failed the bar exam 45:51.240 --> 45:54.120 Can we go back a second did you say you hadn't seen 45:57.640 --> 45:59.640 It was the only one 46:01.000 --> 46:05.560 But I got it paid back so the office was very kind to send it on 46:05.560 --> 46:10.520 Uh, now you've been obviously around politics your whole life. Do you think you will ever run? 46:10.600 --> 46:17.080 Would you ever run? Is that something people always well, you know other than people asking me were you on jerry seinfeld? 46:17.160 --> 46:23.480 So that is the second most frequently asked question. Um, uh, you know, I i'm being an editor of a political magazine 46:23.560 --> 46:27.800 You're you're you're able to be uh in politics without really being in politics, right? 46:28.200 --> 46:31.000 So it's like like being the vice president, I guess 46:31.000 --> 46:33.000 Yeah 46:41.480 --> 46:46.360 I have a great time doing that and we all know that politics is a tough profession these days, but 46:46.760 --> 46:50.280 Um, I think a very rewarding one. Well, the magazine is terrific. I know, uh, 46:51.080 --> 46:54.440 I look through it because it gives me great ideas for jokes. Really? Well, I like it because 46:56.680 --> 46:59.160 I mean sometimes you read political magazines. It's all sort of 46:59.160 --> 47:00.920 You're very dry, right? 47:00.920 --> 47:05.960 Whereas you guys always come at it from a funny angle which kind of sparks right and you always do interesting covers you always have 47:06.760 --> 47:12.760 People playing. Yeah, like you had who was dennis robin. What political figure was he? No, no charles barkley. Oh, Berkeley 47:12.760 --> 47:16.360 That's what he was george washington george washington and uh, 47:16.920 --> 47:20.440 harrison ford was uh abraham lincoln right and uh, 47:20.760 --> 47:27.560 Howard stern was george washington. Well, there you go, which there was a remarkable similarity there and uh, 47:27.560 --> 47:34.440 Uh, I mean we've always actually been you know trying for to get you on the cover to do you think so? Yeah, who would I yeah? 47:34.520 --> 47:36.520 Well, actually I think we have 47:37.080 --> 47:41.480 We happen to have one. Is this oh, I would I'd love to do who do you who would I think it's very 47:41.560 --> 47:45.180 Oh, that's lovely. Has anyone seen this? It's uh, I see that's 47:51.480 --> 47:53.960 And i'm a handsome woman very busty apparently i'm a 47:53.960 --> 47:59.880 Very very busty woman, but now we're busting people's pictures. Let me ask you something because I know 48:00.600 --> 48:04.680 In your life, I always see you you always seem very dignified and avoid this and avoid that 48:05.080 --> 48:08.840 And one day I opened george and there was a picture of you naked 48:09.560 --> 48:13.160 In your own magazine right show we have the picture show that you are right there now 48:16.440 --> 48:18.440 How do you know he's naked I can't tell if he's 48:20.040 --> 48:22.040 He looks like he's wearing shorts 48:22.040 --> 48:26.680 And running and running shoes. No, no, he could have a very small tuxedo on 48:29.080 --> 48:33.880 All right, you might not be wearing pants exactly no one knows that now were you naked in the photo 48:34.520 --> 48:41.160 I wasn't actually I was I had I was wearing pants and and shoes you would have perhaps had newt gingrich, uh, 48:41.560 --> 48:42.760 nude from the 48:42.760 --> 48:45.000 Shoulders down. I don't think anybody wants to see that 48:45.000 --> 48:51.400 Yeah, no it wasn't it was you know, everyone always says that no one reads editors letters. Um, and 48:52.200 --> 48:54.680 They read that one. So what are you gonna say? 48:56.120 --> 49:01.640 It worked for the time being but now what is the monica lawinsky's poem that is in here explain this 49:02.600 --> 49:09.080 Um, do we have to I guess we should we should what we um, we happen to have someone who sent us 49:09.080 --> 49:16.040 Um monica lawinsky's poem that she wrote in ninth grade actually not not in ninth grade when she was a nine-year-old 49:16.920 --> 49:23.720 And I I know i'm going to rot in hell eternally for this but but I can I maybe just give it a sample 49:23.800 --> 49:26.600 Yeah, give a sample. Okay. Um, it was written. Uh, 49:27.400 --> 49:34.040 The poem is a poignant rumination on how quote I can be a delicious lunch dinner or breakfast if you're weird 49:34.040 --> 49:39.880 She goes on to describe herself quote as a round and flat piece of dough with lots of topping 49:40.280 --> 49:44.440 I am a mouse best friend. I make you say yum yum 49:47.640 --> 49:50.620 It's amazing how kids know at a young age what they're gonna do with their life 49:55.480 --> 49:57.480 Well, this here is the uh 49:57.480 --> 50:04.520 Uh, this is fascinating because this is a great sort of reference book. Uh, you know, just looking up odd thing 50:04.600 --> 50:06.600 It's a book of celebrity lists. What is your 50:07.960 --> 50:12.760 I'm sorry political list political celebrity. It's almost the same. What is your favorite? What is your favorite? 50:13.640 --> 50:15.240 Well, there's a lot of them. I mean, you know 50:15.240 --> 50:20.200 We tried to basically do have a kind of a resource book about politics that also had 50:20.600 --> 50:25.720 some funny things in there and and so that you know the whole problem with politics is people often think that it's 50:25.720 --> 50:31.080 Dull and boring and and they don't really appreciate some of the drama or some of the history or some of the funny parts. So 50:31.560 --> 50:33.320 um, there are 50:33.320 --> 50:35.080 everything from 50:35.080 --> 50:37.720 codenames of presidents to jimmy carter's uh, 50:38.440 --> 50:41.960 10 list of 10 favorite desserts that he insisted to uh, 50:42.760 --> 50:44.760 Richard nixon's protocol at state dinners 50:44.840 --> 50:46.840 What was the women? What was it the women? 50:47.320 --> 50:53.800 Women who ran for president who couldn't vote for themselves. It was um, you know, we there's there's obviously lists of men who? 50:53.800 --> 50:57.000 Ran for president shouldn't be able to vote for themselves, but the women 50:57.560 --> 51:03.320 Um, one of them there were two one of them was named victoria woodholt. She ran in for president in 1872 51:03.320 --> 51:09.080 She's not no one really knows about this, but she uh, she was a free love candidate and she had two husbands 51:09.400 --> 51:15.560 And she got 3 000 votes and uh, she she one of her suitors was cornelius vanderbilt 51:15.560 --> 51:21.000 And before she ran for president she used to get stock tips from him and she opened up her own brokerage house 51:21.000 --> 51:25.400 In new york and made a killing so she was really a woman a very modern woman way before her time 51:25.400 --> 51:28.520 Well, that's what's fun. It makes you realize there's nothing new really. Yes 51:28.520 --> 51:33.320 Well, everything has been done inside of it, but it's very funny just odd facts about various political figures 51:33.320 --> 51:38.200 Well, listen, it's of course the book of political lists and of course george magazine. Thanks so much 51:38.200 --> 51:40.200 for coming 51:40.200 --> 51:51.320 It's really a pleasure to meet you. Don of kennedy jr. Be right back with brandy right after this don't go away 51:52.200 --> 51:54.840 This just in unusual objects found on mars 51:55.000 --> 52:02.200 They've been identified as toaster blankey curvy radio and their friends from disney's the bright little toaster goes to mars 52:02.360 --> 52:07.400 And all you fun-filled movie adventure on video ready for blast off letter pop 52:07.400 --> 52:11.160 They're on a mission to save the earth. Houston. We have a problem 52:11.880 --> 52:17.320 Don't miss the bright little toaster goes to mars inspired by the parents choice award-winning brave little toaster 52:18.600 --> 52:20.600 Own it on video may 19th 52:22.120 --> 52:25.400 It is grounded in the belief that for ideas to take flight 52:25.640 --> 52:32.200 They must have wings the all-new chrysler concorde lxi with a 225 horsepower engine 52:32.280 --> 52:36.200 So advanced it provides more power yet uses less fuel 52:36.200 --> 52:42.840 The all-new chrysler concorde built on the belief that great cars appeal to a more passionate side 52:43.640 --> 52:44.920 chrysler 52:44.920 --> 52:46.920 engineered to be great cars 52:47.160 --> 52:51.400 Release an all-new chrysler concorde lx for just 309 dollars a month 52:52.680 --> 52:59.640 Hey, here's big news. You know how you love the great flavor of extra sugar-free gum now the flavor lasts longer than ever 53:00.200 --> 53:02.600 So you can enjoy more of life's little extras 53:02.600 --> 53:09.000 Like extra mileage extra any even extra credit and the flavor will last right through 53:09.320 --> 53:13.640 Extra flavor now lasts so long it may even attract some extra attention 53:14.920 --> 53:17.800 So take any extra steps you need to try new extra 53:18.440 --> 53:21.560 Why now the flavor you love lasts longer than ever 53:24.200 --> 53:28.840 How do you do i'm Kathleen hello i'm kathy i'm also very nervous 53:28.840 --> 53:36.200 Yes, any pain reliever can work on a tension headache boy do I have a headache but tylenol works without stomach irritation 53:36.280 --> 53:43.800 And it doesn't have caffeine tylenol is simply the most trusted combination of strength and safety in pain relief today 53:46.200 --> 53:50.780 Wish me luck tylenol take comfort in our strength 53:50.780 --> 53:58.860 Stay tuned for late night my guests are rosy o'donnell from seinfeld patrick putty warburton and comedian david tell 53:59.420 --> 54:02.720 Watch as we reveal the plot of the final seinfeld 54:03.100 --> 54:08.780 So you think you've seen it all not yet season finale tuesday is coming with a full hour of mad about you 54:08.860 --> 54:12.000 Starring ellen as the new nanny plus baby stuck in the elevator 54:13.420 --> 54:15.580 And what really goes on in paul and jamie's band 54:15.580 --> 54:21.260 Oh my god, oh then on a full hour of frazier frazier gets fired and gets everybody else fired 54:22.380 --> 54:27.340 And to top it off he gets definitely dragged off the jail in handcuffs ever find yourself in that position again 54:27.340 --> 54:32.400 Be sure to call on me. It's season finale tuesday on mbc if you miss this you'll be sorry 54:36.540 --> 54:38.940 And it is you're selling four million copies of her debut album 54:38.940 --> 54:41.180 My next guest also stars history is moisha tonight 54:41.180 --> 54:46.320 She's forming a song from her new album never say never and it'll be in stores june 9th. Please welcome randy 54:46.320 --> 54:59.120 Me 55:16.320 --> 55:19.120 Me 55:33.840 --> 55:35.840 I know that you may be 55:35.840 --> 55:40.480 Just a bit jealous of me but you're blind if you can't see 55:44.000 --> 55:48.160 I tried to hesitate. I didn't want to say what you told me 55:48.160 --> 56:00.960 Me 56:18.160 --> 56:20.960 Me 56:24.720 --> 56:26.720 Must you do the things you do 56:27.280 --> 56:33.840 Keep on acting like a fool. You need to know it's me. Not you and if you didn't know it girl 56:33.920 --> 56:39.520 It's true. I think that you should realize and try to understand why 56:40.160 --> 56:44.720 He is a part of my life. I know it's giving you inside 56:44.720 --> 56:49.920 I know you can say what you want to say what we have and you can't take 56:50.400 --> 56:55.120 From the truth you can't escape. I can tell the real from the fake 56:55.520 --> 57:00.080 When will you get the picture? You're the path of my future 57:00.720 --> 57:02.720 Get away my time to shine 57:03.200 --> 57:05.680 If you didn't know the boy in my eyes 57:05.680 --> 57:13.680 I had a bad enough 57:18.080 --> 57:20.080 I'm sorry 57:20.080 --> 57:35.920 You 57:35.920 --> 57:38.920 A nation thinking it won't chew 57:38.920 --> 57:40.920 When I'm the one to cross your shoes 57:40.920 --> 57:43.920 Special places in my heart 57:43.920 --> 57:46.920 There's my son, my son 57:46.920 --> 57:49.920 He gave me no love 57:49.920 --> 57:52.920 I had a party now 57:52.920 --> 57:57.920 And you, sweetie, the boy is mine 57:57.920 --> 58:00.920 So I'll be back new 58:00.920 --> 58:06.920 He belongs to me, the boy is mine 58:06.920 --> 58:09.920 You need to give it up 58:09.920 --> 58:13.920 You need to, you need to give 58:13.920 --> 58:16.920 You need to give it up 58:16.920 --> 58:19.920 You need to give it up 58:19.920 --> 58:23.920 You need to, you need to give 58:23.920 --> 58:30.920 You need to, you need to give 58:30.920 --> 58:36.920 And you, sweetie, the boy is mine 58:36.920 --> 58:42.760 On the next extra, he was the tough man icon of the 80s. 58:42.760 --> 58:45.360 Now Mr. Chi has cancer and says he's broke. 58:45.360 --> 58:47.520 So why are these men going after him for millions? 58:47.520 --> 58:48.520 An extra exclusive. 58:48.520 --> 58:51.280 Then, incredible police chases caught on tape. 58:51.280 --> 58:52.280 Next extra. 58:52.280 --> 58:54.400 Tonight at 7 on NBC 10. 58:54.400 --> 58:58.800 At Gordon Furniture for $7.99, you get this complete bedwalk. 58:58.800 --> 59:00.800 Isn't that amazing? 59:00.800 --> 59:06.200 You can get this fantastic love seat and sofa, two pieces, for just $7.99. 59:06.200 --> 59:07.960 And you know what the best part is? 59:07.960 --> 59:11.480 You can get all this furniture with no payment for 90 days. 59:11.480 --> 59:17.600 At Gordon Furniture, there's no down payment, no interest, and no payments for 90 days. 59:17.600 --> 59:18.600 You can see it at Siemens. 59:18.600 --> 59:20.640 You can love it at Leavitt's. 59:20.640 --> 59:22.440 But get it at Gordon Furniture. 59:22.440 --> 59:26.520 Brand name furniture that's a lot cheaper. 59:26.520 --> 59:30.560 Now that you're looking for an alternative to John Fox, take a good look at Jonathan 59:30.560 --> 59:31.560 Newman. 59:31.560 --> 59:35.440 His mainstream conservative pledge is to cut wasteful government spending. 59:35.440 --> 59:40.080 Abolish the IRS and limit himself to six years in Congress. 59:40.080 --> 59:44.920 Jonathan Newman will vote to protect Social Security and preserve Medicare. 59:44.920 --> 59:48.640 And Jonathan Newman doesn't take special interest money and never will. 59:48.640 --> 59:51.440 What a breath of fresh air from Montgomery County. 59:51.440 --> 59:54.720 Jonathan Newman, Republican, a better Congressman. 59:54.720 --> 01:00:00.040 Now, during the Cadillac win-win celebration, get outstanding savings on every Cadillac, 01:00:00.040 --> 01:00:02.840 from Classic DeVille to the all-new 98 Seville. 01:00:02.840 --> 01:00:06.600 Great lease values like zero down, $3.99 a month on Sporty Catera. 01:00:06.600 --> 01:00:10.360 Current GM owners get an extra $1,000 in lease or purchase incentives. 01:00:10.360 --> 01:00:14.400 And enter to win a weekend getaway at the Green Pride or the Great Bay Grand Prize, 01:00:14.400 --> 01:00:16.520 a set of Callaway Golf Clubs. 01:00:16.520 --> 01:00:18.400 Great cars, great values. 01:00:18.400 --> 01:00:21.040 All during the Cadillac win-win celebration. 01:00:21.040 --> 01:00:23.800 See your Cadillac super network dealers today. 01:00:23.800 --> 01:00:25.960 Hey, little brother. 01:00:25.960 --> 01:00:26.960 Need a ride to practice? 01:00:26.960 --> 01:00:27.960 We just finished. 01:00:27.960 --> 01:00:28.960 Let's go. 01:00:28.960 --> 01:00:30.440 Now every time you hit the road... 01:00:30.440 --> 01:00:31.440 Suzy, need a ride to ballet? 01:00:31.440 --> 01:00:33.280 I don't take ballet. 01:00:33.280 --> 01:00:34.280 So? 01:00:34.280 --> 01:00:36.960 You can grab the chicken you crave. 01:00:36.960 --> 01:00:38.840 With KFC's Colonel strips. 01:00:38.840 --> 01:00:39.840 Hey. 01:00:39.840 --> 01:00:41.800 Grandma, wanna run in the store? 01:00:41.800 --> 01:00:42.800 No. 01:00:42.800 --> 01:00:43.800 I hate gummies. 01:00:43.800 --> 01:00:48.520 For a limited time, grab three boneless all-white meat spicy buffalo or Colonel's crispy strips. 01:00:48.520 --> 01:00:51.280 Wedges and a Pepsi for just $2.99. 01:00:51.280 --> 01:00:52.280 Taking bubbles to the vet. 01:00:52.280 --> 01:00:58.240 Isn't it time for some really good chicken? 01:00:58.240 --> 01:01:02.400 I'll be there. 01:01:02.400 --> 01:01:05.960 I'll be there. 01:01:05.960 --> 01:01:08.960 Just call my name. 01:01:08.960 --> 01:01:11.320 I'll be there. 01:01:11.320 --> 01:01:17.200 Each week, Blockbuster Video picks the hottest new releases and guarantees they'll be there. 01:01:17.200 --> 01:01:18.200 Whoa, yeah. 01:01:18.200 --> 01:01:19.200 I'll be there. 01:01:19.200 --> 01:01:20.200 I'll be there. 01:01:20.200 --> 01:01:21.200 Go home happy. 01:01:21.200 --> 01:01:22.200 Blockbuster. 01:01:22.200 --> 01:01:27.600 The fair facts behind TV's steamy scenes. 01:01:27.600 --> 01:01:28.880 On the next Access Hollywood. 01:01:28.880 --> 01:01:33.880 Daytime's sexiest couple took us under the covers to show how to make love in the afternoon. 01:01:33.880 --> 01:01:36.960 Join Giselle Fernandez and Pat O'Brien on the next Access Hollywood. 01:01:36.960 --> 01:01:37.960 On NBC 10. 01:01:37.960 --> 01:01:38.960 I wanna thank my guest. 01:01:38.960 --> 01:01:39.960 Brandy Never Say Never is the CD. 01:01:39.960 --> 01:01:40.960 John F. Kennedy Jr. 01:01:40.960 --> 01:01:41.960 The Book of Political List is the new book from George Magazine. 01:01:41.960 --> 01:01:42.960 George is a magazine. 01:01:42.960 --> 01:01:43.960 And of course, our good friend Jerry Seinfeld. 01:01:43.960 --> 01:01:44.960 Off to his fun travel to London. 01:01:44.960 --> 01:01:45.960 Jerry Seinfeld. 01:01:45.960 --> 01:01:46.960 Jerry Seinfeld. 01:01:46.960 --> 01:01:47.960 Jerry Seinfeld. 01:01:47.960 --> 01:01:48.960 Jerry Seinfeld. 01:01:48.960 --> 01:01:49.960 Jerry Seinfeld. 01:01:49.960 --> 01:01:50.960 Jerry Seinfeld. 01:01:50.960 --> 01:01:51.960 Jerry Seinfeld. 01:01:51.960 --> 01:01:52.960 Jerry Seinfeld. 01:01:52.960 --> 01:01:53.960 Jerry Seinfeld. 01:01:53.960 --> 01:01:54.960 Jerry Seinfeld. 01:01:54.960 --> 01:01:55.960 Jerry Seinfeld. 01:01:55.960 --> 01:01:56.960 Jerry Seinfeld. 01:01:56.960 --> 01:01:57.960 Jerry Seinfeld. 01:01:57.960 --> 01:01:58.960 Jerry Seinfeld. 01:01:58.960 --> 01:01:59.960 Jerry Seinfeld. 01:01:59.960 --> 01:02:00.960 Jerry Seinfeld. 01:02:00.960 --> 01:02:03.020 you